The song is from Velvet Revolver's Fall to Pieces. Sorry I can't comment, but I just had an epiphany in the middle of homework ( :P Who knew? ) and I needed to write this down nice and quick. I'll probably make edits to it later (minor edits such as grammar and all that lot) but this is def my second chapter. Finally.
It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
It was as if they were one. A union of human halves split apart from the source. And damn it-it felt like he was missing apart of himself he desperately needed back. It manifested a detached panic in his demon who mistook it for the need to protect the mate he didn't have. His demon surged forward, ready to protect what was his, but Spike pressured it down, swallowed it with a hiss.
Hell, it was worse than the need for blood.
I fall
to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
He saw her stare up at him, her head cocked suddenly-and without even knowing it his own cocked to the side as well, his face contorted in confusion-her horror mimicked his own.
What the hell is going on?
What the hell is going on?
Their thoughts mingled, and it was hard to tell one from the other as they struggled to pull apart from the strong eddy of the other's mind.
"What just happen-"
"What just happen-"
"Would you stop that-?"
"Would you stop that-?"
"BLOODY HELL I SAID STOP!" Spike snarled and there was a slight pressure against the nape of his neck.
The light that cascaded his vision was followed by his own thoughts-free from the taint of her mind and will.
But the need-the desperate urge to be near her was still there.
Every
time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
"Spike, what just happened?"
He looked up, his demon surfaced as he prepared for a snide remark, his irritation lengthened with his confusion.
How the fuck am I supposed to know. Aren't you the, Slayer?
He couldn't say the words as she stared at him. Her eyes, he noticed vaguely, weren't glowing anymore-they were their natural perfect hue and so beautifully reflecting of every emotion. She seemed so sincere as she looked at him. As if he knew and would tell her and make it alright, make it perfect for her-and fuck he wanted to make everything perfect-just for her.
I keep
a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
I
fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
The Slayer doesn't have any pretenses, He thought with some slight admiration, She carries her heart in an open palm and damn the consequences if she scars it along the way.
Damn anyone who even tries to hurt such a treasure.
"What're you staring at?" Her regular brass was back and it brought a smile to his lips.
"Nothing, luv." He whispered and closed the distance between them, tenderly wrapping her within his arms and pressing a kiss against her temple.
He shivered at the pleasure, at the feeling of omnipotent completion he as her flesh pressed against him. There was a slight spark of white light and he looked down, her eyes had turned milk white and wide, her lips parted unknowingly.
"What's happening to us?"
All the years I've tried
With more to go
He quirked an eyebrow at her choice of words. Us. Not me. Not you or you and me-but us. Us.
He kissed her forehead, and then her nose and nuzzled against her neck, seeking her warmth and burying himself within it.
"I don't know, pet…luv…but it's…scary. Even for me."
He felt her smile and he smirked against her neck.
"Even for you? The Big Bad?"
"Yeah," He chuckled warmly and she rubbed her cheek against his. The contact brought rewarding shivers and a small peck against her cheek as he withdrew his hands still in hers.
"Even for me, luv."
"Spike…this is a spell…you know that right?" She whispered.
"Spell? Excuse me, luv?"
She withdrew away-completely. Her eyes shifted to their natural swirl of dark green jades, and the feeling of being only half complete coursed through them both like bitter ice water.
"Come on now, Spike. There's no way the whole-eye thing is just-natural. And, a moment ago I wanted to kill you and now I want…I want…"
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, her fists balled as she aimed for control.
Will
the memories die
I'm waiting
"You want…what?" He asked alluringly, his tongue eased out over his front teeth and she was mesmerized as he moved-his hands found hers in the seduction and he pressed a kiss against each palm.
She looked at him, almost mesmerized, and her eyes became milk-white once more.
"To touch you, be near you….I don't feel like…me…if I'm not…and that's just not…normal for us, all of a sudden." Buffy stammered.
"Perhaps not, but I can't stop touching you, I don't like that feeling…"
"I didn't say we had to stop…" She whispered huskily.
He growled, and his hands moved to her back, his lips descended and she moaned and arched upwards as he stole her breath away, dipping his tongue in between her teeth and rubbing the small of her back.
"Spike…wait…st-stop…." She moved her head away reluctantly; he hissed and trailed kisses down her neck, stopping only to suck and kiss at the junction between her neck and shoulder.
"Stop? Why? Why the soddin' help should we stop? I know you want me. I can smell you, luv. Vampire. Remember?"
He breathed in as if to test the theory and closed his eyes almost spastically. The black orbs glittered like living stone and promised dangerous wonders as he looked at her. Buffy's eyes widened and her knees threatened to give way.
"I love the way you smell, luv, so sweet, want to taste you right now…" He bit her flesh with dull teeth and slipped a trembling hand underneath her tank top to roam over her abdomen.
Buffy mewed and he growled hungrily at the sound, snapping his head back to try and catch it between his lips, but she stepped back- somehow touching him while keeping a safe distance.
"Stop, we need to find out what happens before…anything happens. I mean, really, Spike. Wh-what happens if we break out of this spell and we've-done stuff we'll regret-and, and…we need to stop…"
He bit his lips and made a sharp movement forward before stopping grudgingly halfway and settling for rubbing circles with his thumbs across the soft palm of her hands.
"Baby I can't touch you and not want you. I can't even…smell you without…needing you…." He clenched his teeth shut.
"Maybe we should stop touching then, I mean…."
"I don't want to feel that way either, I hate it. It feels like half of me's gone. I know you feel it too, baby. I know you can feel that. Why don't we just…give it what it wants?" He licked a trail from underneath her chin to her earlobe and she pulled away forebodingly, earning a scowl and fake, apologetic look from the vampire as he held tightly onto her wrist.
"Alright…no licking…can I at least have a little snog, luv?"
"Snog…? No! Of course you can't have a little…snog!"
Spike smirked, his boyishly blue eyes sparkled with mischief.
"It means a kiss, luv."
"Oh. N-no, no! Definitely not! Our kisses end up leading to…no! Definitely not!" She almost pulled her hands away.
"Alright, stop struggling, luv, giving me a headache woman."
"Shut up, Spike. Damn it, we need to get to, Giles. God if I didn't feel like I'd die myself I'd kill you right now just to get this whole-screwy business over with."
Spike chuckled, a sound the Slayer was becoming increasingly captured by.
"Bugger, Slayer, you sure know how to make a bloke feel welcome."
Buffy rolled her eyes and turned to walk away, dragging him behind her as she headed for Giles' home.
"Any chance you'll shut up along the way, Spike?"
"You're bleeding bipolar aren't you? First you're all with the feelies and now you want to stake me and have my lips ripped off…"
"I never said that! I don't want you lips ripped off!" She scoffed.
"Oh…so…you like my lips?"
"I-I didn't-shut up."
Will I
find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling
She pocketed the cell phone with trembling hands and stopped a few feet away from Giles' door, her right hand stopped hesitantly midway.
Spike decided not to comment on the sudden escalation of worry and uncertainty he felt brimming in the back of his mind like a solemn itch, and she did not comment on the reassuring thoughts being purposely broadcasted her way.
Giles will help us, Giles can fix this and the whole connected with Spike thing and everyone will be happy again-well I will, maybe not Spike, don't really care though-do I?
The door opened, a familiar fatherly face peeked through with uncertainty but then began to speak once he saw Buffy's unique golden brown hair and brown green eyes.
"Alright, what exactly has happened now? If it's that Sqwagnnerili Demon again I told you to cut off it's-"
"Head!" Spike interrupted gleefully.
"That's m' fav' part. Unless you were talkin' 'bout castratin' the bugger-now that's just mean, Watcher. Wicked boy you are."
The watcher's eyes widened comically and a bottle of Holy Water appeared in his left hand, a cross appeared from his right.
Mockingly Spike vamped out and bared his fangs condescendingly, leering happily as he did so.
"Whoa! The Watcher comes to the door prepared! Innit sweet how he greets his guests? I would preferably bring an axe and precise surgical cutting utensils but he is a man of archaic style and-"
He stopped and looked at the back of Buffy's head. She didn't turn but gritted her teeth.
He nodded with an eye roll and began searching his pockets for a cigarette.
Giles noticed the exchange with some apprehension, his eyes blinked as he looked down at his protégé.
"Buffy?"
"Invite, Spike in Giles." She said calmly, though her eyes were worried and her feet tapped hyperactively.
"What the bloody hell is this all about!"
"Do what the lady says," Spike said softly, but his eyes were not on him…
"And get eaten? I think not," The watcher looked down at Buffy curiously with narrowed eyes; skepticism began to grow within their depths.
"The real Buffy would never ask me to allow such a demon into my home…unless…"
Suddenly the Holy Water was unleashed and splashed onto Buffy's face. She howled and rubbed at her eyes; Giles stepped back and brought up his cross in alarm.
"Ow, ow, you sprayed me in my eye! Ow." She whined.
"Oh, sorry I just thought for a moment that-"
Spike was immediately beside her, Giles eyes widened at his quicker than light speed as he examined her face adoringly with an appreciative leer.
"You're such a baby," He grinned as if it was the sweetest of compliments.
He touched her cheek gently, almost coyly and was rewarded with a burning hiss of flesh.
"Bloody hell! You sprayed that crap everywhere didn't you, Giles? Fucking thorough!"
He hissed at the Watcher and then at the burning appendage.
"Who's the baby now, Spike?" Buffy smirked and opened her eyes.
Giles gasped as his brown eyes traveled to the white, dancing surfaces. They sparkled with green and red at his perplexed look.
There was something wholly innocuous about them, something so adorable and lovable and beguiling hypnotizing that his mind wandered and his thoughts drifted to an inevitable calm. Through her eyes he saw a perfect world, he saw his Jenny…
"Beautiful aren't they?" Spike said in that same adoring voice that was beginning to becoming annoying as well as disconcerting.
"E-exactly what is going on, Buffy?"
"Just-let Spike in, he's not going to do anything," Buffy rolled her eyes, and waited impatiently with both hands on her hips.
Maybe not to him, though you my dear are looking quite…delectable…
Buffy gave him a sharp, reprimanding look. He shrugged cheekily and winked.
Shut up and get out of my head.
Or what? I like being able to have our little private conversations...it's...reassuring.
"Come in, Spike, and I say if you break anything I'll have Buffy's mother chop your personables off."
"My fangs? NOT MY FANGS!" He said mockingly and jittered into the house.
"How quaint, always wondered what soddin' dullness was etched in every piece of dust in your walls. Place looks like Suicide Vamp Camp."
He wiped at one table's surface with his finger and held up the digit, carrying the offensive substance with a sideways, sardonic expression of wonder.
"This could have been my half-vamp-brother, how could you?"
"Kill him now and let me help." Giles muttered and his hands swiped a clear glass and bottle of Scotch off a pile of books.
"Bloody, watcher, Slayer start you a drinkin'? Or is that just for show? Probabaly a strong bit of black tea innit?"
Why are you so annoyingly talkative right now?
Because I like being annoying, ever thought of that?
Whatever.
Like I give a damn.
Buffy narrowed her eyes at the platinum blonde, his demon half surfaced for a flickering moment and rolled out its tongue between fangs.
"Children please, settle down and-just explain…"
Buffy made another mental jibe and turned her attention towards her watcher.
"Well it all started with Mr. Jumpin' the Bones over there-"
"I'll have you refrain from using Buffyisms while speaking of me! Mr. Shag A Lot is more appropriate! And I'd bloody do it again if I could! IF you loosened up a bit maybe..."
"WHY YOU SON OF A-"
"Not in front of the, Watcher, pet. Please, go on..."
The Watcher winced, obviously this story would need a lot more than Scotch…