Plot Summary! Harry returns to Privet Drive disillusioned with life due to Sirius' death principally. In his grief he departs forever from his childhood and steps up into the world of responsibility. Dumbledore takes him away from his relatives home to the new Order headquarters where he begins his training in earnest. The trials of captured Death Eaters reunite two of the trio for most of the summer and Harry participates in his first birthday party. Hogwarts opens with a fabulous prank and the identity of the Half Blood Prince is revealed! Harry Potter is determined to make this year different than the last, and he knows what he needs to do.
Disclaimer! I do not own Harry Potter or any cannon characters or ideas; those belong to J.K Rowling and Bloomsbury Books. I claim only the plot outline and content with exceptions that I will note. The lyrics to the song playing in Dudley's room are taken from Fall Out Boy's song The Pros and Cons of Breathing. The song is modern and not accurate of the times, but I was listening to it while writing this chapter and felt it was good enough to pay tribute to. Expect similar tributes in later chapters as I never write without music on. D All street names and directions are accurate, except Privet Drive, which was made up by Ms. Rowling herself.
Chapter One - Returning to Prison
A black, nondescript Mercedes Benz pulled out of the King's Cross station parking garage and onto Judd Street. It quickly made a left onto Euston Road, which turned into Marylebone Street a couple hundred meters down road. Soon a left was made onto Edgare Rd, which after a roundabout became Park lane.
Inside the Mercedes there were four passengers, who appeared to be very interested in everything except each other. Soon the car was on Fulham Road and crossing the Thames. It headed along with the traffic southeast, towards the passenger's home. Well the home of three of the passengers. For the fourth it was more of a prison. The home that they were heading to was in Surrey, more specifically number 4 Privet Drive, the most normal house on the entire drive. Well, with one exception.
The drive home was the longest Harry had ever experienced. His uncle was in front and refused to look back at Harry even in the slightest, and went so far as to completely ignore his review mirror. Harry knew that he wouldn't say, but Vernon had obviously been very scared indeed of the threats made by the Order members, and probably more specifically those made by Mad-Eye Moody. The peg-legged auror was more intimidating than anyone else Harry had ever seen, with the possible exception of Dumbledore that night when he discovered that the "Moody" he had hired for the Defense Against the Dark Arts in Harry's fourth year was actuality an imposter. The man's real name had been Bartemious Crouch Jr. and he had been an Azkaban escapee and a loyal follower of Voldemort. Now he was a soulless vegetable.
Voldemort, the evil wizard that was responsible for Harry's current state, the man that had killed Harry's parents and on four occasions tried to kill Harry personally, and once more when a memory of the man had tried to kill him.
In the passenger seat of the Mercedes was his aunt Petunia, whose face was still rather white from the meeting. She was nervously looking at Vernon and then back out towards the city as if trying to memorize street names. 'Utilizing her long neck I see,' thought an amused Harry.
'Speaking of street names, is it a bloody law here that if a street extends more than 200 meters it has to have a name change?' He watched as Fulham Road, became Fullham High Street, which quickly changed to Putney High Street, then Putney Hill, which turned into Tibbets ride, all within two kilometers. 'London has to be the most confusing city in the world.'
The last passenger, Harry's cousin Dudley, was currently taking up half again the space he should have been using in the back row of the Mercedes. Harry decided to break the silence, with a question. "Dudley, have you lost weight" The boy's eyes went wide and his face went white at being addressed. His reaction reminded Harry of a muggle documentary on poison he once saw. 'Well that went well. Then again, maybe it wasn't the best thing to ask,' he thought bitterly. 'If they continue to be this bad during the summer I might be able to fulfill Sirius' dream and kill them all with one simple "boo"'
'Shouldn't have thought that,' he reminded himself as immediately all the pain he felt from his godfather's death less than a week ago came back full force. He fought back the tears that threatened to expose weakness in front of the Dursley's. He was not weak, but it hurt so much. He once again saw his godfather taunting Bellatrix and saw the red spell hit him in the chest; once again saw his godfather, the only "family" he had left tumble backwards through the veil.
He had been so convinced that Sirius would come back through the other side and finish his duel with Bellatrix, but he never did. 'He is gone.' The thought ran again through his head as it had a thousand times in the last week. 'Sirius is gone.'
The car turned onto the A3, the highway that would take them home to Surrey, back to his prison. 'I wish you hadn't come Sirius. Why did you come?' As much as he questioned that, Harry knew the answer. Sirius had come because of him, Sirius had come because he could no longer stay back and be passive. Sirius was one for action.
The car took a right off the highway and onto Egerton Road. They were almost there. "I want to blame everyone so much Sirius, but I know I can't. I want to blame them for your death, for Cedric's death, for my life. I want to blame them because they are forcing me into this, and then tearing me apart when I am less than perfect. I want to so much. I wish you were still here Sirius, you were my last chance to be normal."
Four distinct rises in elevation announced that the Mercedes was pulling into the driveway at number 4 Privet Drive. Harry glanced out the window to see award winning magnolia's swaying in the light wind, to see the pristine grass covering the lawn. He glanced back and saw the sun before the garage door shut and the passengers got out. His relatives quickly moved into the house, none dared to offer help to him. He sighed, but it was expected. After all, he was a freak, and they were probably right to avoid him. Everyone that got too close ended up dying. At least they had left the garage light on.
Harry opened the trunk of the Mercedes and took his trunk and Hedwig's Cage out. "Sorry girl, but I think they would have blown a fuse if I had had you in the car. I know how much you hate dark places, I do too." The snowy owl nibbled his finger in what was a decidedly affectionate gesture. He took Hedwig up to his room and then returned to the garage for his trunk which he slowly and painstakingly drug up the stairs to the smallest bedroom, his bedroom.
That bedroom, five years before, had belonged to his cousin Dudley. It had held all of his broken and unused properties. There was still evidence that it had been used as such. A broken TV sat in the corner; Harry distinctly remembered when Dudley had put his foot through it. A jack in the box sat off to its side. Harry reflected on how a jack-in-the-box was the cruelest toy ever invented. What kind of person gives their child a toy that plays music until a clown pops out scaring the kid. 'And that is one scary looking clown,' Harry thought. You had to be sick. There were a few other scattered toys, all broken and useless. God forbid Harry would have anything that might work. He might be normal then.
Harry sighed again and began to move his clothes to the closet. He noticed that his aunt hadn't washed the clothes he had worn last summer, he hadn't actually expected her too. They were better described as rags actually. Well, Harry wasn't going to wear them like that. He decided that tomorrow he would use the washer. But for now, he would just sit, and brood.
"Woah, I want to hate you half as much a, as I hate myself! Woah, I want to hate you half as much a, as I hate myself!" the music screamed from his cousin's room next to his.
It was oddly fitting, Harry reflected. He had just been thinking the same thing.
'Sirius, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself. I want to hate you for coming to rescue me. I want to hate you for not accepting the offer to be my parents' secret keeper. I want to hate you for so many things. But first I need to recognize that I am more to blame for all the things I just said.'
.:OoOoOoOoO:.
It was five days into summer vacation, and for most it had been five days of wonderful time being reunited with their families. For Harry Potter, it had been five days of misery. The events of the first day back had sent Harry into a spiral of depression, and when Harry hadn't written to the Order as he had promised he would, Remus Lupin was sent to check on him.
What he found was not to his liking. Harry was thin, far thinner than he had been at the end of the term he was sure. "Harry, have you been eating"
Harry couldn't face him, and when Remus leaned over he saw shame in the boy's eyes. "Harry" Remus very near whispered"you have to eat. Sirius would want you to."
"Sirius can't want anything anymore" the boy countered, no emotion evident in his voice.
That voice stung Remus but he countered nonetheless. "But Harry, Sirius would not want you to live like this. You have to eat. You have to pull through this, for Sirius. For me." That got a reaction, somewhat at least.
"Have you done your homework" Remus asked, hoping that some work would help to get Harry's mind off of Sirius' death.
"Don't have any" Harry mumbled. Remus had forgot teachers didn't assign homework after fifth year, they couldn't possible know which classes the student would qualify for.
"Well Harry, Dumbledore hinted that in a week or so the Underage Magic Laws should be repealed. I can help you practice."
"Hmmph" was the only reply he got.
Remus was worried, and that was an understatement. This boy in front of him was his last remaining connection to his friends, and he was falling as well. Sirius had entrusted Harry's care to him in the event that something would happen to him. And he wasn't about to let Sirius down.
"Do you want to go to Diagon Alley" It was a desperate gamble. On one hand, he wasn't supposed to take Harry anywhere, but no one had expected Harry to be this bad. Perhaps re-exposure to the wizarding world would help. When he didn't get a negative response he asked again. Harry slightly nodded. Relief swamped over Remus; perhaps he could do something.
An hour later Harry was cleaned up and fed, Remus had insisted that he take a shower, as there was only so much that spells could do. Harry even had to admit that the shower felt wonderful after being so dirty for the last week. The hot water had been cleansing. After a small meal consisting of a ham and cheese sandwich that Remus managed to scrounge up from the Dursley's refrigerator Harry was ready to go.
Outside, Remus signaled for the Knight Bus and paid the fee to get them to the Leaky Cauldron. It was thirty minutes before they arrived, and Remus had used that time to ask Harry what he wanted to do while they were at Diagon Alley. Harry told him that he wanted books to study; he had finished with his school texts over past summers. Remus agrees and upon arriving takes Harry to Flourish Blott's.
There he lets Harry walk the isles on his own and pick out a number of titles. After an hour Harry put the titles up on the counter and paid for them. Remus noticed that they were almost exclusively Defense titles, but there were some potion titles thrown in. When Remus asked Harry told him that he wanted to become and auror. That was all the answer Remus needed. Harry also picked up a mail order catalogue for Flourish and Blott's and the apothecary.
Remus treated Harry to some ice cream at Fortescue's and a meal at the Leaky Cauldron before paying the Knight Bus fare to get him home. Thirty minutes later Harry was standing in front of the place he hated the most in the world, and he was readying himself to go back into it. Remus sensed his apprehension and told him that if there was anything else he needed to owl him. He would come straight away. Harry thanked him for taking him to Diagon Alley and treaded back upstairs to his room, where he began to read.
.:OoOoOoOoO:.
Dear Remus,
Thank you again for taking me to Diagon Alley, I know I've said it many times, but I have to repeat it. I've been learning so much from these books, and now that I'm allowed to use magic, I can actually put what I've learned to use. These potion books are fantastic, especially 1001 common potions, they are teaching me more than Snape ever could!
Remus had been trying to use Severus' proper title, but Harry refused to other than when he was actually talking to the man.
I now know the basic properties of many different ingredients, which Snape never taught us, and know that you can't effectively mix ginger and hellebore because of their conflicting characteristics. I think that I will be able to really raise my potion's grade because of all the extra studying and work I've been doing in the subject.
I've also been practicing a lot of defensive spells from those books we got. Lets just say that I'm going to have some good ones for the D.A. next year.
-Harry Potter
Letters from Harry began to arrive every three days, this was the sixth, and Remus has been noticing a dramatic increase in Harry's positive outlook. When asked about Harry by others he shows them the letters and they agree that he sounds like he is doing well. So when Dumbledore told Remus that he was going to visit Harry, Remus asked what was wrong.
"There is nothing wrong Remus, but I feel that he and I are overdue for a talk."
Dumbledore, however, did indeed feel that something was wrong, and he was going to visit Harry to either confirm or placate his fears.
Dumbledore apparated to a small park about a block from the Dursley's, due to the apparition wards around the house and the surrounding neighborhood, and began what would be one of the longest treks to that particular house he had ever made.
A knock on the front door yielded no answer and so Dumbledore let himself into the house and slowly shut the door behind him. He slowly ascended the stairs to where he knew Harry's bedroom, the smallest at number 4 Privet Drive, to be. A light knock again yielded no answer and Dumbledore slowly opened the door. As soon as the seal to the hall outside was broken fumes began to flow out from the room into it, rushing past the old wizard and making strands of his white hair flow about him. Dumbledore opened the door wider and sees his young pupil lying on his bed. Around him are discarded bottles, which at one point no doubt held the potions that were brewing upon his desk.
"Mr. Potter" the venerable old wizard asked. The young wizard remains on the bed. A quick spell showed that he was asleep, and overall, unharmed. Dumbledore approaches the potions at the desk and quickly finds what they were. 1001 Common Potions was opened to 437, the cheering potion. There were three cauldrons of it bubbling.
An interesting stench brought the wizard, in whose eyes the twinkle had disappeared, to his favorite student's nightstand. On which sat a still smoldering wrapped piece of paper. It took Dumbledore only a second to recognize the scent. Hashish.
"Oh my boy" the old man barely whispered as he sat down into the boy's desk chair. "What have I done? I have failed you yet again."
He would do nothing but sit until the boy woke.
.:OoOoOoOoO:.
Pain.
His head hurt so badly. A moan escaped his lips as raised his hands to rub his temples in an attempt to alleviate the terrible headache. He knew it would be useless however. It was an unfortunate side effect of taking too much cheering potion. He reached over to his nightstand only to find by touch that there was nothing left of his joint. He muttered curses under his breath. That was all that he had to numb the pain. He turned to his side and slowly opened his eyes. He shut them again as light invaded them, shooting pain through his retina.
More curses. 'Dammit, why is the ganja out? I swore I had enough yesterday, or was that two days ago? Uggh, I can't remember.'
It wasn't until that he turned his head the other way to avoid the light and opened his eyes though that the real curses started. For there, sitting at his desk chair and looking defeated was the one wizard whom Harry did not want to see. Albus Dumbledore. The ancient wizard had the respect of everybody in the wizarding world, and Harry imagined quite a few in the muggle one. He had, however, lost the respect of Harry Potter during the course of Harry's preceding year at Hogwarts; the main reasons being Dumbledore's ignoring of the problems that were rampant in Harry's life and keeping of Harry ignorant of his role in the war.
"Fuck" he said weakly. It was the only word he could come up with on such short notice and in such pain. There was no doubt in his mind that he was in for the biggest lecture he had ever received, and he wasn't happy about it.
"I'm sorry Harry."
Those words were not how he envisioned this conversation starting, but they came nonetheless, and those words cut more than any amount of yelling could have and immediately put Harry on edge.
"I'm sorry for failing you. I can understand why you have turned to this, and I should have expected it considering the situation I put you in sending you back here alone."
"You couldn't possibly understand what lead to this" Harry said wincing.
"This isn't healthy Harry." A glare was leveled at the Headmaster. "Sirius wouldn't have wanted you to do this."
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY HELL SIRIUS WOULD WANT"
Harry screamed at the old wizard. "In case you didn't notice; he's DEAD, Headmaster," the last word oozing disrespect.
Dumbledore visibly flinched, and Harry pressed his advantage.
"Sirius would want me to be happy. And right now there is only one way to accomplish that; the way that I am using. He would want me to live my own life, not yours. I always knew, somehow, that all I was to you was a weapon. Are you proud Dumbledore? Are you proud at what you've been molding me to become? A killer" A thought suddenly occurred to Harry and against his better judgment he voiced it. "I bet you knew that Quirrel was a death eater. I bet you knew what was happening all through second year. Hell, I bet you even knew that Crouch was a loyal follower of Voldemort. I bet you wanted me to get in those impossible situations, to test if the prophecy was true! Have I convinced you yet Headmaster? Have I convinced you that I'm the one destined to fight Voldemort, and more than likely die by his hand?
"What will you do then Dumbledore? What will you do when your precious weapon is gone? What will you do when everybody looks up to you to kill him. Will you fight him and die just the same as me? Or will you hand the world to the monster on a silver platter?"
Dumbledore was, needless to say, quite shocked by Harry's accusations and tried to defend himself from the onslaught of accusations. "Harry, how could you say such things? Of course I didn't know about those instances. I'm not infallible –"
"Damn right you aren't infallible. If you were infallible you would have spoke to me last year! You would have found out that Umbridge was torturing students in their detention sessions. I can't begin to recall how many times I engraved this in my skin!" With that he thrust his hand forward for Dumbledore to see. 'I will not tell lies,' was clearly scarred into the back of his hand. Dumbledore looked horrified.
"If you had been infallible, you would have been there to talk to me about Sirius and my father! If you were infallible you wouldn't have had Snape attempt to teach me Occlumency. Those lessons were a farce Headmaster. Snape raped my mind every lesson for as much embarrassing material as he could find. Is it a stipulation that one can only be trained in Occlumency by reliving their worst memories? Could he have perhaps eased me into the process?
"Let me ask you Headmaster. Would you have practiced Occlumency at night if all it brought in lessons was pain?"
Dumbledore looked shocked, and was feeling even worse. He truly had failed Harry, and now he was suffering the consequences of that. Anger, distrust, and shame.
"If you had been infallible," Harry continued on in a rage, pressing his advantage, "you would have not left me in this house that fateful day years ago Headmaster. All this place holds for me is hate. I'm not wanted here, I don't want to be here. The Dursley's beat me until I started coming to Hogwarts. You must have known this, after all, you would have been keeping tabs on your precious 'Boy-Who-Lived.' But no matter, you still left me here. You made me come back every summer, now I know due to a blood protection, but it doesn't matter. I want to live Headmaster. I don't want to just survive. You seemed unwilling to help me along this path, so I turned to these," Harry gestured to the cheering potions and burned out joint.
"They, at least, make me feel good about myself," Harry said vehemently, then added, "Good day Headmaster."
With that Harry James Potter excused himself from the room and walked down the stairs, clearly intent on being alone. Dumbledore, for his part, couldn't do anything but sit down and stare at the wall. It was clear that he had failed his favorite pupil more than he had previously imagined.
'What have I done?' Dumbledore thought as he brought his hands up and rested his head in them.
.:oOoOoOoOo:.
'What did I just do?' Harry Potter asked himself as he slammed the door to number 4 Privet Drive shut and immediately began off towards a nearby park. There was a part of Harry that was glad that he had inflicted that pain on Dumbledore. After all, had he not suffered three times as much in actually living it? And yet, there was another part of him that felt terrible. Hadn't he promised himself that he would find the blame in himself before he started to look for it in others?
He had, but things hadn't worked out that way. When he began to dwell on Sirius Harry had tried to find where he could have done things differently. The mirror, he could have used the mirror. That had been the hardest thing to get over, the failure of the mirror to find Sirius after he fell through the veil. He had tried to contact Sirius via floo. And that brought up the subject of Umbridge.
Harry clinched his hands into fists at the mere thought of the woman who had admitted to sending the dementors after Harry the previous summer, and who had threatened him with the Cruciatus Curse. Not to mention the lines that were now currently scared into the back of his hand.
Harry turned his hand over and stared at that particular scar. 'I will not tell lies.' Harry sighed. He hadn't lied today in telling Dumbledore what he had, but he regretted being so harsh with the older wizard. Harry reached the park and sat down leaning against a nearby tree.
Harry thought about what the Headmaster had told him, and he knew that Dumbledore was right. He couldn't continue to rely on cheering potions and drugs to get him by. It had been too simple, and Harry had known it the moment he had started. But it had been an effective combination. Harry sighed again and slouched down further against the tree trunk. He knew that he would have to return to his prison soon, and he wasn't relishing the thought of it. No doubt the entire Order would be there, Remus in the lead, all ready to take their piece of him.
Maybe if he just stayed out for a bit longer. Harry left himself to his turbulent thoughts for some time before drifting off to sleep. He had yet to go home.
.:oOoOoOoOo:.
Dumbledore sat in Harry's room, still at the desk chair he had occupied during his and Harry's chat earlier. Dumbledore had wanted to speak with the boy again and apologize. He was hoping that Harry would find it in his heart to forgive him. Dumbledore had come to terms with what Harry had said, and realized it was all truth. Dumbledore could no longer in good conscience let Harry stay here in this house with his abusive muggle relatives, albeit it was the safest place for Harry to be regarding Voldemort.
Now though, the wizard known as the only one that Voldemort ever feared, was quite fearful himself. The subject of his fear? Harry Potter. The young wizard had yet to return home, and it had been nine hours. It was getting dark outside, and Dumbledore could only blame himself for Harry's running away. Dumbledore sighed and decided that the time for waiting for Harry to return on his own accord was long past and set down the stairs of the most normal house on the entire street, which was saying something, and let himself quietly out of the door.
"Quatenus Harry Potter," he muttered waving his wand. When nothing happened Dumbledore moved down to the end of the street and once again muttered the spell. It was a searching spell. It would alert the caster to the position of whatever was called for. The range of the spell however, was a mere fifty meters. Dumbledore didn't know how far Harry had run, but he was going to find the boy and apologize. And so it happened that a number of muggles saw the ancient wizard walking down the street, stopping every so often and waving his wand around muttering quietly to himself. Most thought nothing of it, though there were a few quiet whispers of 'Poor old man, he's losing it.'
.:oOoOoOoOo:.
Remus Lupin was now worried. He hadn't seen Albus all day, every since the older wizard had told him that he was going to speak with Harry. Remus still suspected that Dumbledore had thought that there was something wrong with Harry. After all, Albus had never seen fit to talk with Harry personally before. But what, Remus couldn't begin to comprehend. After all, Harry's letters had just seemed so positive. There was nothing in them to make anybody nervous.
Remus sighed, perhaps that was what was wrong. Dumbledore would be suspicious that Harry would be over Sirius so quickly. He had to admit, he himself was a little wary of how fast Harry had gotten over his depression after being taken to Diagon Alley.
But for now, all Remus could do was wait. With the Headmaster's schedule, there would be no telling when he would be able to speak with him next.
.:oOoOoOoOo:.
A gently placed hand on his should woke Harry. He woke with a start looking up into cool calculating blue eyes.
"You can't be terribly comfortable lying like that Harry."
Harry hmphed and turned over, giving Dumbledore the cold shoulder.
"Harry, my boy. I'm very sorry about what I have put you though." Harry remained steadfastly turned over. "I can't pretend to know what it is like to be destined to fight or die. But I do know what it is like to fight. I failed you once again, and for that I am very sorry. It's very difficult for me to see you like this, hurting and broken."
Harry shifted uncomfortably and wanted to tell Dumbledore that he was not broken, but he couldn't force the words out of his mouth.
"Cedric and Sirius, are just a few of the many casualties that have already happened Harry. There have been many aurors killed in Death Eater raids. There have been many muggles tortured to death already in Voldemort's second rise. They will all be missed, and each of us have our own connections to these people. But you Harry, you have a connection to them all. I know that you experience Tom's emotions, I know that you suffer from visions of his doings. I thought that teaching you Occlumency would help. But I obviously have misjudged the character of Professor Snape.
"I understand how much you are sacrificing. I once did so myself, though I admit I was a bit more personally motivated than pushed. And for that I regret that as well. I had believed that I was doing you a favor by giving you little shoves in what I thought was the right direction. I was obviously mistaken. You have my word Harry that from now on you can lead your own life, and that I will no longer be interfering in your menial activities, that is, outside of Hogwarts.
"If you would like, I can take you tonight from your home here with your relatives and take you to Headquarters."
Harry was surprised at what Dumbledore was saying. He had stood his ground once to the older wizard and the results were astounding. He was finally going to be in control of his life. And yet, he wasn't ready to return to Grimmauld Place. He voiced these concerns in an unsure voice.
"We are no longer located at Sirius' house Harry. The position was compromised when Sirius died. Kreacher no longer has a master to follow orders from and took to leaving the house quite often."
Harry clenched his fists at mention of Kreacher. Dumbledore noted this and calmed his fears.
"Kreacher is dead now Harry."
"How?" asked Harry.
"Lets just say that a certain hippogryph was not pleased with the results of his conversation with you and dealt punishment he felt was fair."
A small grin broke through Harry's face at mention of Buckbeak and the very calm way that Dumbledore had of breaking Kreacher's probably bloody death to him. Not that Harry cared. If he had run into Kreacher, he would have strangled the house elf himself with his bare hands.
"So it is settled then Harry? You will come to Headquarters with me tomorrow? I dare say you will rather like it there."
Harry nodded.
"Now, I'm afraid there is the little issue of your substance abuse."
Harry bent his head in shame.
"I won't force you to stop Harry, though I will highly recommend that you do..."
Whatever Harry had expected Dumbledore to say, it was not that.
"...but I will tell you a story, and trust you to make your own decisions. Years after I graduated from Hogwarts I married the most wonderful woman I knew, Konstance. A year later I was blessed with a beautiful daughter, Emilia." A single tear appeared in Dumbledore's eye.
"She was six years old and was already showing signs of magic, performing accidental magic quite often if I do remember quite correctly." The old wizard smiled at the memory.
"One terrible night, both my wife and child were ripped away from me. The times had been getting worse and Grindelwald was rising to power. Five members of his "army of darkness" as he called them attacked my house. They tortured then killed my daughter and wife, but left me alive, albeit brutally injured.
"I was inconsolable. I began to work myself to be able to take revenge, and I deemed sleep unnecessary. I began to take resting draughts to simulate the effects of a full nights rest. After a while I stopped sleeping entirely, and though my mind could still be tricked, my body couldn't. I collapsed and had to be taken to St. Mungo's. There I was forced to recover from an addiction to those resting draughts, and saw a specialist to help deal with my problems. It was the right choice to make, however difficult it was. I eventually fought through my dependence.
"I still trained, and I still trained harder than any of the others, and it paid off in the end. But it hurt, and after the fall of Grindelwald I had nothing else to continue for. I once again became dependent on substances, but this time it was cheering potions."
Harry was shocked at the admission. This man, the arguably most powerful wizard in the world, had fallen at one point in time. The admission along with Harry's previous understanding of Dumbledore not being infallible showed to Harry that Dumbledore, for all of his wisdom and power, was still human. He was just like anybody else.
Dumbledore continued. "It took me years to fight off that addiction Harry. Years. Do you know how I did it"
Harry shook his head.
"I looked to the future, I looked to my students, and I realized that my wife and child would not want me to live the way I was living. I was destroying myself because of them. Though I miss my wife and child so much, I would never leave what I still have; my students.
"If you want Harry, I will help you through this. I won't let you down again. But in order for me to help you, you have to let me.
"Will you let me help you"
Harry nodded his head and raised a hand to quell the burning in his eyes. "You once told me sir, that it does not do to dwell on dreams "
"- and forget to live" Dumbledore finished.
"Thank you sir, I've been forgetting that. I've been selfish. I have more to live for than myself." Harry stood resolutely. "I need to still be strong for Sirius, for Cedric, for Remus, for you, for everyone."
"I won't fail you again Harry, I promise."
"I don't expect you will sir" Harry said with a slight smile.
Dumbledore smiled in return, it was going to be all right.
As the two walked out of the park and down the street back to number 4 Privet Drive Harry voiced a question that was burning in his mind. "Headmaster, how was it that you knew to check on me? I thought the letters I was writing were fairly convincing."
Dumbledore nodded"That they were Harry. It was the book you mentioned. 1001 Common Potions. I used the same one."
Harry nodded as he was led into the house by the professor.
"Good night Harry. I trust that I will find you ready to go at noon?" Harry nodded resolutely. "Well then, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite."
Harry could only shake his head in wonder. There were times when he was convinced that the older wizard was completely batty. This was one of those times. Honestly, bed bugs? Who ever heard of such a thing?
(A/N: Well, well, well. I hope that everybody liked the first chapter and I'm sorry if I ruined your imagination of Harry being the perfect kid. But I felt that this was necessary to the story, and to the relationship that I want Harry/Dumbledore to have. I felt that having Harry fall was a good way to illustrate Dumbledore's flaws as well, and that is what Harry really needed to see. So, now that that is over what is Harry going to do? Where is this place Dumbledore is taking him to, and perhaps more importantly, what is it? Also, I'd like to apologize for the language and the situations; they are fouler here than at any other planned point in the story as of yet. Oh, and if you read, please review! Also, I felt at some points that the story didn't run quite as smoothly as others, let me know if you have any suggestions in your reviews as to how to fix that.
Thanks anonymous reviewer for correcting the driving directions there. I was going by Mapquest which unfortunatly does not show every street name in the city.)
(A/N2: If you liked this chapter then read Nighttime Sunshine's Like a Phoenix He Shall Rise, as the inspiration for this chapter came from there.)