What Was There All Along

Disclaimer: I own nothing except any OCs.

Max had by now convinced Joshua not to go out looking for this 'gossamer' thing, not wanting him to be accidentally spotted by anyone and hurt, but also subconsciously realising, that she needed a second for a search like this, ALEC, the perfect excuse to go and see him… Not that she was willing to admit that, even to herself, but the truth was, she felt sort of guilty for earlier. Especially when he had made his 'pimp' crack, it was typical smart ass Alec behaviour, but she couldn't help wondering if it was masking something deeper, like everything he did seemed to be, was it just a smokescreen to distract her from his pain? "Since when have I ever thought Alec was this deep," she wondered irritatedly, Alec was just…Alec, why did she care how his mind worked? But the truth she didn't want to admit was that she did, she really did.

Logan hadn't been happy that she'd left their date to find Alec, but strangely Max found that she didn't much care what he thought, and she wasn't particularly sorry that she'd had to leave because of something Manticore related.

Reaching Alec's apartment, Max prepared to knock, before coming to her senses and realising that she never knocked, always just barged straight in, so why the sudden change? Why exactly did she care about respecting Alec's privacy? So trying to act naturally, and not nervous, as she suddenly realised she was, she began to pick the lock to let herself into Alec's apartment, letting herself in as quietly as possible.

It was then that she saw a prone from, spread eagled with its head under a blanket on the couch, and figuring that it was Alec, though what he was doing sleeping on the couch she hadn't a clue, she moved to pull the blanket off him, discovering not Alec but…"Asha?" Max stuttered, trying not to let her confusion bleed into her voice anymore than she already had done, though the shock on her face was sure to be a dead giveaway.

What exactly was Asha doing in Alec's apartment, asleep on his couch? But most importantly, why did she care? This was typical Alec behaviour, and sure Asha looked like she should know better, but what did she expect, Alec was practically synonymous with 'slut'. But it hurt, for some unknown reason it felt like a betrayal for Asha to be here in Alec's apartment instead of her…where did that come from? But surely she was being too harsh, she was writing Alec off again, and hadn't she said only a few days ago that everyone, even Alec deserved a chance? She didn't even have any proof that anything had…Well there went that theory…

Alec had just walked out of the bathroom, clearly still wet from the shower, wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, water literally dripping from his tousled locks, and down his well defined abs, 'He looks yummy' informed Max's much loathed inner voice, whilst the rest of her conscious mind rebelled and continued fantasize about what him and Asha had been doing… Max was furious. She knew that she shouldn't be, knew that she had no claim on Alec, but she was having his baby, and yeah sure she had chickened out from actually telling anyone yet, but surely that meant something? Yet here he was cavorting with Asha. 'Asha' what kind of name was that anyway? Why was it that everywhere Max was she suddenly was too? What exactly gave her the right to move in on Max's terriotory, first Logan now Alec…could the girl not find her own boyfriends or something? And, whoo… What in God's name was that? Did Max actually equate Alec with 'territory', like he was her property or something, what the hell was up with that? And what the fuck was wrong with her mind that suddenly had her thinking like that? Was she jealous of Alec and Asha?

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"Max?" questioned Alec finally, when her silence, not to mention the burning fury he could see raging in her eyes was starting to creep him out. Figured she'd walk in just when things looked worst for him, she couldn't have walked in half an hour ago to see him being all nice and kind to Asha, tucking her up in a blanket, oh no, that would be simple! She had to arrive just at the point where he was stepping out of the shower wearing only a towel with Asha fast asleep on his couch. He looked guilty as hell, and he knew it, but for once he hadn't done anything, it was just sod's law that the one time he really had done nothing she would never believe him, when he lied to her loads of times before about trivial stuff and got away with it…not that that was anything to be proud of, but anyway it was the principle of the thing! But if he wanted an upside to this God-awful situation, this cosmic joke that was his life at least Max was jealous, so that meant she felt something for him, right? He'd have to remember that for when she strung him up from a tree later.

"I need your help. Can you get dressed?" Max finally spat out, still clearly angry, though trying, unsuccessfully to hide it from him.

"Sure." Alec replied, moving off to quickly pull on some clothes and trying not to think of the ludicrousness of this situation. It was so funny he could cry! He'd gone off on an all night bender, hooked up with a girl, and generally had a shitty night, although, nothing actually happened, the reason for this you ask? Max and Logan had found a cure to the virus so he figured they'd be out all night knocking boots, hence the reason for said drinking binge. But instead of having crazy naked sex with Logan, here she was, in his apartment, having walked in on the worst scene he could imagine, in the circumstances, crazy jealous and looking about ready to castrate him for, appearing to have done exactly what he believed she had been doing with Logan, which had pushed him into said situation in the first place! Was he the only one seeing the hypocrisy in this freaking disaster! This was seriously not fair, where did she get off judging him! And perhaps most importantly, why was she here?

Returning to the living room fully dressed Alec then followed Max out of the apartment, off to …do whatever it was that she wanted him to do, which come to think of it, she hadn't actually mentioned yet.

It didn't take Alec long to discover, after a little probing, that a Manticore gossamer was on the loose in the city, the sewers more precisely, which just figured considering how well his evening had been going so far. It seemed that every time Max ever came to see him he ended up crawling around in the sewers with her, she was just lucky he loved… and he had better not be thinking that because that was a sure fire way to heart ache and misery. "What a mood killer," Alec thought wryly, "but wait, yeah my mood was crappy anyway!" he fumed, trying desperately not to think…what he had just almost thought, may have been true but he didn't have to keep thinking it, things sucked bad enough already.

Anyway, trying to distract Max from his turbulent thoughts, Alec resorted to his usual tactics, namely talking, about anything and everything, gossamers mainly, but skirting around anything important, "Banter, that's the order of the day." realised Alec, after all, it was what he and Max were good at, verbal sparring, one of the many reasons he loved her…"And I can't believe I just thought that again!" cursed Alec inwardly, "Am I looking for more pain, or am I just too stupid to control my own aimlessly meandering thoughts!" he fumed, angry at himself again, kicking at the water of the sewage tunnel in irritation, but stopping when, as per usual, Max shot him a death glare.

But Alec being Alec, he couldn't resist trying to fix things, he had to try and make things right between him and Max, well first he stirred things up a bit with some, fairly inappropriate, not to mention irritating smart ass comments, but a guy had his pride right? So he did rub her nose in what he and Asha could have done, a bit, didn't want her to be complacent did he? But then, his morals (which Max believed to be nonexistent!) kicked in, and he tried to allay some of Max's worries, though why he was bothering when he wasn't sure she cared was anyone's guess.

He explained to her, that 'for the record' nothing happened, trying to throw it out as a comment of no importance, and failing miserably… though he also couldn't resist throwing in a possibility of a 'double date' to irritate her. Max however didn't seem to notice his atypical behaviour, she was that busy trying to pretend that she didn't care, and hence warming Alec's heart by proving that she, in fact, did care if she was trying so hard to prove she didn't. How he pulled off that illogical leap he wasn't sure, feminine judgement?…yeah, well whatever it was he was sure he was right.

Finally they emerged in some disgusting junk yard, where, shockingly, Max wanted them to split up to find the gossamer. To say Alec was unhappy about the idea would have been an understatement, he was furious about it, his instincts screaming at him, that with a dangerous predator on the loose he should keep his mate in sight at all times, but as usual Max was having none of it, and told him, in no uncertain terms, to get lost, so valuing having all his parts remain in their current locations, he agreed. Unusual that!

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It took Max and Alec less than half an hour for both of them to be slimed, and dragged unconscious to a car by the creepy little lizard. So perhaps they might have been better off sticking together, but at least they tried…

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Coming to after being slimed by the little lizard thing, Max found herself stuck to the seat of a car in the junk yard, with Logan, Alec, and the three hapless idiots the creature had captured before. How the planned romantic evening with Logan had managed degenerated into an unprecedented disaster she wasn't sure, but she was about to spend her last hours of being safely able to touch Logan stuck to the seat of a car with goo, and if that wasn't a sign from above that their relationship was doomed she didn't know what was. But Max never had been very good at listening to other people, so why did listening to fate have to be any different.

Waiting for the others to come to, Max found herself pondering the evening, where had it all gone wrong? Sure, she hadn't exactly been honest with Logan, what with the having another man's child and everything, is that why this was happening, to teach her a lesson? And why was she more worried about Alec and Asha than loosing her chance with Logan? Sure she believed him when he said nothing had happened, Alec never lied about stuff like that, but then why had Asha been there? And why the hell did she suddenly care who Alec was seeing!

She didn't have long to think though as Alec and Logan both seemed to wake up simultaneously, "Joy of joys I get to talk to them both at once!" she sniped silently, praying to God that this nightmare would end soon. They tried to get out of the goo, but all found that they were stuck tight, the perfect end to the perfect night! Their only hope of rescue lay in Joshua…who they had specifically told not to leave Logan's apartment, so it was safe to say they would probably be stuck here for a while longer…Just great!

It was at this point, when Max thought things couldn't get any worse, that Logan decided to have a heart to heart with her...in front of Alec. Exposing the fact that the virus was still a part of their lives and that they hadn't actually got around to doing anything yet, to which all Alec could do was snipe, typical! Fortunately though, Joshua turned up to rescue them before things could get any more fucked up, and Max was able to trap the gossamer, whilst Alec managed to, convince the junk yard guy to keep it as a pet! Max had to admit, sometimes Alec really did impress her, and pulling the proverbial rabbit out of the hat with that one was really quite an achievement, though she'd never in a million years tell him that.

Finally though, it was just her and Logan, sitting in the junk yard car, talking, her least favourite activity when it was this excruciating. What was she supposed to say, when really she was almost relieved the virus was back? With the virus in place she didn't have to make a choice, she was safe, she had Logan, but they could never really be anything, and she could…use it as an excuse to keep Alec at arms length. "It's no use," she sighed, forcing herself to think clearly, she couldn't use Logan as an excuse to not deal with this thing...whatever it was with Alec, she had to be strong, and realistically what with the virus and her pregnancy she had to face facts, her and Logan were over…She just needed to tell him that, easier said than done…

"Guess this it then." began Logan, uncomfortably, watching the seconds tick down on Max's pager.

"Yeah," Max concurred, not having the courage to look him in the eye, as she tried to rehearse what to say to him, "look Logan," she tried to explain, "this virus thing isn't going anywhere, I mean this proves it," commented Max sardonically, waving her hands in the air, and indicating their time ticking away, "maybe it just wasn't mean to be…" she tried to let him down gently.

"No Max I won't believe that, I can't pleaded Logan," grabbing her hand, and forcing her to look him in the eye, "I had to give up on us once I won't do it again." he begged, his voice impassioned, and filled with pain.

It killed Max to do this to him, he'd been a part of her life for so long, but in the end, this was for his own good, who knew, one of these days she could kill him if he wasn't careful, and she didn't think that she could live with that, he'd one so much for her, and she did love him, but perhaps maybe just as a friend…

"Logan…" she tried to reason with him, but suddenly her mouth was assaulted with a fierce kiss, it wasn't like Alec's kisses, it wasn't what she craved, but it had such pain, such depth that she gave into it, this would be their good bye, because Max refused to play this game any more… It was over…

With one last look Max exited the car, turning back only to say 'good bye', she could have told him about the baby, probably should have done in fact, but she couldn't, not yet, there'd be time for that later. For now she just wanted this relationship to die with dignity, there'd be time for recriminations, impassioned speeches and cries of betrayal later, God knew that was still on the horizon, cos over or not, Logan was still gonna hit the roof when he found out that she was pregnant. The question was, what was Max gonna do with her life now? What was she gonna do about Alec? Could she trust him?

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Alec meanwhile was back where this freaky ride had started, his apartment, where Max had seen him and Asha and everything had gone to hell. Practically as soon as he had walked through the door, he'd flung himself down on his bed and tried to sleep, but it was useless, he needed to know what Max and Logan were saying to each other, if only to torment himself, he could practically hear the pledges of undying love from here and it was making him sick to his stomach. How could Max believe that she could be satisfied with 'normal'? She was so much more than that, and if she just gave him a chance he could show her just how great it was not to be 'normal', to be transgenic…

Eww Max and Logan kiss, sooo very wrong, but anyway… Personally I'm not so fond of this chapter, its basically a rehash of borrowed time (still) but it seemed the best way to get to the end point, and let Max and Logan's relationship die, anyway, I'd be curious to know what you think!

Cheers for all the reviews, I'm glad that so many people like my crappy little story, anyway, please continue to review and tell me what you think!

Thanks!

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PS. I'm back at school now, so expect updates to take a bit longer! Thanks!