B'Elanna finished citing all the examples from their military history and his personal affairs that she could to confirm her theory. Summarizing the whole thing once more she said, "I think Seska was assigned to us not to uncover the Maquis actions so much as to find your Starfleet connections. She helped the Maquis too much to have been worth it for the Cardassians, unless she was after something else, like Starfleet. That is why she honed in on you. As a Cardassian operative, she hated the Federation more than the Maquis and on a personal score she wanted to break every Federation ideal in you."

Chakotay's position had changed again during the course of her monologue, but he did not pour another drink. His shoulders were slouched, arms folded across his torso, but his legs still remained wide and relaxed. Raising his hand to his lips, he pressed his thumb and fore finger against them, inhaling.

Janeway observed Chakotay's manner. It was controlled but he appeared exposed on a number of counts. He was embarrassed by his conduct with Seska, but he was also seriously guarding something. Starfleet, she concluded in her mind as she interpreted all his physical messages. B'Elanna nailed it and he does not want to admit it.

Choosing to rescue Chakotay from a compromising situation, Janeway interjected, "Thank you, B'Elanna, I'm sure that provided some food for thought. Sometimes it helps to see our problems from another person's perspective."

Hearing the unspoken 'dismissed' in the captain's tone, Torres rose from her seat, "Well then, I'm glad I could help." She left without another word.

There was silence in the room after the whoosh of the door. The truth hung between them and Chakotay was slow to make eye contact with his captain. Casually shifting in his chair, he faced her more directly. Filling both of their glasses, he handed Kathryn hers.

"So what did you think?" he asked, seizing the opportunity to shift the conversation away from a direct confession.

Janeway swallowed and replied, "I can't think of a more plausible explanation. Except that the whole theory is dependant upon you having had some pretty substantial Starfleet connections while you were a Maquis captain."

Rolling the liquid in his mouth, and swallowing, he agreed, "That it does."

"But it also explains why Seska would prefer a Maquis mutiny to serving aboard Voyager."

"It does that, too."

Kathryn switched to a more personal tone. "And her obsession with you."

Only a subtle flash in his eyes revealed his pain at discussing this with Kathryn, but he met her gaze directly. "Yes, it would do that, too."

The tension in his muscles began to come back. "What do you want to know, Kathryn?"

"Oh, I want to know everything." She shook her head. Some of the very same people who assigned her to pursue his ship may have provided the munitions he'd need to fight her. "But this visit is not for me. It's for you. The question is what do you want to tell me?"

"I can't talk about Starfleet, Kathryn. At least not now, I …," he was about to say "might say too much" but cut himself short realizing that that would be saying too much.

Resting her captain's curiosity, Kathryn considered her friend. "Do you want to talk about Seska?"

He snorted sarcastically, "Oh yeah, let's talk about the Cardassian whore who gained free access to both of our ships through my bedroom door!"

To defuse his anger, Janeway said flatly, "You are embarrassed."

"Damn right I am! Kathryn, if a half naked crew member crawled through an emergency panel into your quarters, you'd throw him into the brig not onto your bed!"

She couldn't entirely stifle the laugh at the visual image of a half naked crewman being bounced down the hallway. "Yes, you are absolutely right."

Kathryn, wanting to sooth his self-hatred, took a chance. "Chakotay, did she get what she wanted?"

"What?"

"Assuming that there was… information… that you had, that she wanted, did she get it?"

His eyes began to clear from the power of the Cardassian venom, "No." The realization spread across his face. "No, she did not."

Kathryn smiled too, and postulated, "So Seska, the Cardassian operative, went to all of the trouble of blowing up Cardassians and crawling around half-naked through emergency panels to seduce you and what did she gain?"

Chakotay smirks shyly.

Janeway blushed, then rolled her eyes, and retorted, "I mean other than…that… What did she gain for the Cardassians…? Nothing"

"When you put it that way… Yeah, that would be about right."

Leaning his elbows on the table, he rested his forehead on his hands and chuckled. Looking up at Kathryn again, his eyes flashed. His countenance denoted friendship and freedom. Giving her a genuine grin, he said, "Thank you."

"Sometimes all we need is another perspective… that is why I need you…" Kathryn smiled sweetly and squeezed his arm.

Chakotay rose from the table, taking the narrow glass and flask in one hand and Kathryn's hand in the other, he guided her to the sitting area. He sat in the arm chair, while Kathryn paused to order something from the replicator. Offering Chakotay some of the assortment of Risan vegetarian appetizers, she sat on the sofa.

Trying a few pieces, Chakotay spoke around the bite in his mouth, "You know that I turned down a position as first officer aboard the Azimuth?"

He knew that Kathryn knew his Starfleet records better than he did, but it was an opportunity to change the subject. But, to her surprise, rather than avoiding personal issues he invited her into another.

"Yes, instead you took a position teaching advanced tactical at Starfleet."

Chewing intently on the first morsels of food he'd eaten in 24 hours, he asked, "So, did you determine why?"

His actions, his motivations, and reasons for doing things had been a puzzle to her for these couple of years, but she was unaware how casually he observed her scrutiny. Yes, it was one of his decisions that she tried to understand. Psychological profiles and intelligence files shed little light on it. Kathryn always wondered if he had Maquis connections and motivations for doing things before he resigned from Starfleet. She answered, "I have no idea."

Walking over to the replicator and ordering water, to wash down the appetizers, he asked, "Do you want me to tell you?"

"Yes."

Smiling a little sheepishly he confessed, "I wanted a family."

"A family?" It was often hard for Kathryn to see beyond the Angry Warrior, to see the man he was before his people were slaughtered.

Chakotay sat down, took a drink of the water and began, "I was between postings and went home to Dorvan V to visit my family. A cousin my age got married(,) and, had a child while I was on a deep space assignment. I stayed with them during my visit. I thought it would be easier than staying with my father. But, I watched their happiness and for the first time, I felt lonely. Watching them opened my mind to possibilities I had never before imagined. Possibilities that I knew I would be turning my back on if I took that position and headed hard on a command path.. I went on walks and vision quests to sort things out. Finally, I decided to decline the Azimuth in favor of seeking a position in San Francisco."

Kathryn was surprised. "Where you went looking for someone of like mind?"

Chakotay laughed hard at the memory. "I went on a lot of first dates!"

Kathryn smiled and shook her head. "I'm sure there was no lack of interested parties."

He eyed her carefully and explained, "I met a number of remarkable women, some fascinating and ambitious scientists, others were more domestic, but some…" He colored and shook his head. "Well, let's just say I never met the right one."

"Then what happened?"

"You know the rest. My father was killed in the attack on Dorvan V, as was my cousin, and his family. I joined the Maquis."

She paused for a moment and considered the innocent lives Chakotay saw destroyed.

"Chakotay, how come you didn't tell me this before?"

He looked straight at her, almost confused at her suggestion. "Like when? On New Earth!"

"Well… yes. We talked about a lot of things…"

"Kathryn!" he exclaimed, "The only man on the planet doesn't exactly set the only woman on the planet at ease by talking about his longing for children!"

Kathryn frowned and wondered if the ale was clouding her thinking. "I wasn't thinking about it that way…., but, I see your point."

Chakotay leaned back in his chair and looked at her with a furrowed brow and a lop-sided grin. Seeing that she was slightly inebriated, he decided to play with her a little. "Unless, you think my bringing it up…"

Watching her entire body stiffen, he decided to leave it there. "Relax, I was only teasing."

A few moments of silence passed.

Kathryn chose to dismiss his last remark and concentrated on everything she had just learned. Assimilating the new information and considering the present situation, Janeway began, "So, when Seska told you she had impregnated herself with your DNA it…" She hesitated, a little slow from the ale, and searched for the right words.

Chakotay finished the sentence, "…Created a civil war in my head! I wanted a child, yes. But Seska! I had feelings for Seska at one time, but she was the last woman I would have chosen to raise a child with! Even before I found out she was Cardassian."

Becoming more serious, he continued, "I refused to think about that child or consider it mine until our conversation in your ready room, when you told me Voyager was at my disposal if I wanted to rescue my baby."

Kathryn wasn't sure where he was going. Did he blame her? She hesitated hoping he would explain further.

"I was angry at you for suggesting it, but I went on a vision quest, and came out believing that I had to accept Seska's child in my heart. I wonder now, if I had not wanted a child for so long, would I have risked Voyager? Or would I have been better able to see through Seska's deceptions, better able to protect this ship?"

"Chakotay, we had no way of knowing. You forget, Seska wasn't lying. She and the Maje, believed it was your child. And we made a joint decision." Janeway spoke with conviction, "You may second guess your decisions, but I am set in mine."

The captain was suddenly on her feet pacing. "I made a decision early in our time in the Delta Quadrant, I'm not leaving anyone behind. Unless they ask to be put off this ship, every member of this crew, and every offspring of a member of this crew are going to receive the full protection of Voyager. We won't be plucked off one by one, and anyone who messes with Voyager will know we value our people, each life, and that we are prepared to defend them!"

"Kathryn, we lost three crewman pursuing 'my child'! feel terribly indebted."

"No. We did not lose them because of a decision to defend the innocent!"

Kathryn waved her arm toward the window. "We lost those men because we didn't anticipate the number of Kazon lives they'd sacrifice just to acquire Voyager. We are battling an enemy who cares nothing for their own people. They lost two ships and nearly one hundred men in that attack."

Turning to face Chakotay with both hands on her hips, Kathryn concluded, "They were determined to take Voyager. It was a battle we would have had to fight one way or another. Baby or no baby, Chakotay."

Standing directly in front of him, she finished her impassioned speech.

Chakotay lifted his glass to his lips and calmly observed the passionate woman in front of him. "I suppose."

"You know I'm right!"

"Yes, I know … you are right."

Kathryn tried to sit back down but suddenly felt uncomfortable, uneasy. She didn't like it when her first officer did not share her confidence. And after her spontaneous captain's speech, it was difficult to slip back into casual friend mode.

Casually observing Kathryn's change in demeanor, Chakotay asked, "Want to talk about Starfleet?"

Raising an eyebrow and poising herself on the edge of the sofa, Kathryn asked, "It's a broad subject. Was there something a little more specific you had in mind?"

He sighed and pursed his lips, "Maybe."

Leaning forward, she asked, "What will you tell me?"

"Not much. But enough."

"'Enough' for what?"

"Enough to alleviate that sense of suspicion you felt when you considered the possibility that a Maquis captain, you were sent to bring in, had Starfleet connections."

"That would be nice."

"Sure, I knew a lot of the right people, but I did not join the Maquis with 'connections' quite like B'Elanna thought. The Starfleet connections that B'Elanna suspected were above board."

Kathryn snorted, "Really? How does a Maquis have 'above board' Starfleet connections?"

Chakotay pondered a moment and then spoke, "Hypothetically speaking, if Starfleet brass were skeptical about the Cardassians keeping their side of the treaty, what would be the best way to evaluate their suspicions?"

"It is a difficult position. If Starfleet Intelligence goes too far, and are discovered by the Cardassians, then they risk putting the Federation in breach of the treaty."

"True." He paused a moment to let her think it through.

"But if" Kathryn thought it through. "If Starfleet Intelligence knew of a private citizen, whose future dealings might make him, privy to classified Cardassian information." She frowned unable to put the puzzle together.

Chakotay helped her along. "Then a simple request to notify Starfleet Intelligence to any substantial threats to the Federation would certainly be in order."

"Of course, and they would have to devise a means for him to do so." Kathryn eyed him carefully, as if the scrutiny of her gaze would reveal the rest of his thoughts. "But how would the Maquis benefit from the arrangement?"

Chakotay frowned as if he was trying to put the puzzle together himself, "Maybe they don't directly." He shrugged off the question. "But, what I often wonder, is why would Starfleet send a ship on assignment after a Maquis vessel that regularly provided Starfleet Intelligence information"

He cringed slightly, realizing those last words were as good as a direct admission. Smiling he added, "Hypothetically speaking of course."

With a knowing but slightly tipsy smile, Janeway batted a hand in his direction. "Oh, of course."

Kathryn leaned back on the sofa and considered what he was implying. Voyager was assigned to find and stop Liberty specifically on account of Cardassian complaints. She knew the Cardassian accusations well.

Stretching her arms out across the top of the sofa, Kathryn rolled it over in her mind. Why would the Cardassians pressure the Federation to capture a Maquis vessel that the Cardassians already successfully infiltrated? What did Chakotay provide the Federation that threatened the Cardassians? Why wouldn't they inform their own operative of Tuvok's infiltration? Or arrange with Starfleet to have Seska pulled out along with him? Had Seska so thoroughly compromised her operation, that the Cardassians had no regard for her? And damn him for bring this up at the bottom of the bottle.

Chakotay silently drank his ale, while she thought it over.

"I don't know who I have to thank for our introduction, Seska or the Cardassians!"

"Probably both," Chakotay replied.

"What did you provide Starfleet that stirred up the Cardassians so badly?"

"Ah, now that is classified."

Kathryn rolled her eyes and glared at him with a mock pout.

He snickered at her expression. Not yielding one bit.

"So you give me the answer to one mystery, just to open up a bigger one before I leave." She frowned. "Not fair. Now, how will I sleep?"

Laughing, he replied, "Oh, you'll sleep. You'll sleep just fine. The Romulan ale will help with that."

Kathryn glared at him. She was certain he waited until he saw the ale was affecting her before bringing it up. No doubt it was a calculated move.

She rose from the sofa and walked over to his side. Resting her hand on his shoulder, Kathryn began, "Commander." Censoring her thoughts, it was difficult to come up with an appropriate good bye.

He covered her hand in his. His shoulders relaxed beneath her touch. "Good night, Kathryn. And thank you. I needed a friend tonight."

He released her hand.

She walked to the door and looked back. Giving him one last wistful look from the exit, Kathryn spoke softly, "Sleep well."