Monochrome.

T: I didn't realise it was ambivalent as to which Kamui I killed in the last chapter but then I suppose that's because I'm used to having only a regular set of readers…is nice to have someone new! This chapter will hopefully clear a little of the confusion (Crosses her fingers).

X is not mine and the fic deals with some dark issues…but then being an X fic what do you expect? Oh and spoilers for up to volume 18 of the manga.

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I recall that it was the vivid crimson of blood which was last colour that I saw before the strike of his sword plunges me into the monochromatic world that is now my normal.

I feel still the heat in my eyes as the blade sliced the nerve…feel still the sting as my magic saved what little sight I had left...

The Dark Kamui…Fuuma…takes my pause as opportunity and leaps towards me with his Shinken drawn.

I feel still the helplessness as my body reacted to this movement…

Hear still the sound of his flesh and mussel tearing.

I recall feeling sick and resisting the urge only because of the vein belief that I might still save my friend…

That swift action will reverse what I have done.

His hands caught onto mine as I began to chant, his fingers little points of heat even though the life of him is draining steadily away…

Even though he is dying.

"Stop this, Kamui."

"No."

"You can not save me."

My chest hurt so much that I felt almost as though I could not breathe.

What was this feeling?

My hands moved from his to grasp at his clothing, this action a vein attempt to pin this moment, to steal time before it becomes too late.

I did not know that I had been crying until his hands move again, this time to wipe the tears from my cheek.

"Kamui, all I wish is to protect this world that you live in and so once I am dead I shall maintain the final Keki…shall ensure that this world endures."

"Why?"

I can see still the smile on his lips, that fragile smile that wavers a little as his he begins to lose the strength for even such a simple action.

"It can wait a moment; firstly I need you to recall something."

"Tell me."

"Seishrio's last words were true. Let the Sakurazukamori know that.

"As to the other…I do this because I loved you, Kamui Shirou."

I knew as soon as he said those words why my chest hurt so, why bringing him back to me had been an all consuming passion despite the dark shadows of his heart, thus it is with conviction that I tell him,

"I love you also."

He uses the last of his strength to kiss me, uses his final breath in this our last and only act of intimacy and love.

When he was gone I pulled him to me and simply allowed myself to go numb…allowed the hollowness of my heart to rule me for a while.

…………………………………………………………………………………

I could not say how long it was that I remained upon the tower, my hands gripped hard to Fuuma's body and my attention fixed upon the dark black splotches of his blood upon my skin.

Could not say how long I had been there before I heard the voice of the Sakurazukamori instruct me,

"Go home, Kamui."

"Why?"

I recall that I sounded so much like him in that moment, recall that for the briefest of instants I could understand his betrayal.

Then he is stealing the weight of Fuuma's body from me and suddenly he is again my enemy, is again little more than Sakurazukamori.

"He wished you to live." He replies as he steps out of my reach.

"For what?"

"You shall have to find the answer to that yourself."

I lifted my head then and was unsurprised to find that he had his back to me, unsurprised that he wished to maintain a distance now between us.

"When a person dies, Subaru, what they say is only ever truth."

He did not react to those words as I had hoped; instead he merely repeated his command of,

"Go home, Kamui."

Before he leapt away into the night sky.

………………………………………………………………………………..

I remain locked in my room for a week, simply thinking on Fuuma's wish and what he had hoped to gain from such a desire.

Arashi came to talk to me and as she spoke of her own misfortune and the choices she had made I found myself understanding at last.

Fuuma had wanted for me to live because there were people still in this world who depended upon me, who looked to me for strength and leadership.

I leave my room at last and gather the remaining seals together so that we can talk of what our lives our to be now the war is over, talk of living for the memory of those who had died in the Year of Destiny.

Time passed swiftly after that, the days marked only by my steady adaptation to my infirmity and to the emptiness that Fuuma's death had left within me.

The birth of little Kotori places a bright light into all of our lives and for a while her existence unites us again.

Makes us whole.

Then Yuzihara receives a call from her Obaachan that has her on the next train home and Aiko is given a promotion situated outside of Tokyo.

Thus by the anniversary of our victory only Arashi and I remain behind to morn the dead and recall the passing of a year.

By the time another year has passed Arashi is alone when she goes to set her flowers against the tower; alone in the want to cling to the past.

Time passes.

Upon graduating from school I procure a quiet job editing manuscripts.

It does not pay all that well, but they have never asked to see my face and mother had left me money enough to buy an apartment and maintain its upkeep.

Arashi moves out of my new home when Kotori is two, yet she returns often to talk to me and to allow me to indulge her daughter a little.

The years begin to blur into one another and it is only in the change in Kotori that I note their passing at all.

Seven years pass before Subaru comes again into my life.

When Arashi had told me that she had seen him, that she had asked him if her would return to us, I had believed that an end to it.

Had believed that he would not again cross onto our path.

Then Arashi brings him with her the next she comes to see me.

He looks pail to my eyes, his skin stark white against the solid black of his clothes, yet he lives and that is a comfort to me.

"I did not think that I would see you again."

"I have made a choice that I had want for you to hear, Kamui."

"Tell me."

"It has been seven years since the Rainbow Bridge fell and he has not come back to me as I had hoped vainly that he might.

"Thus I am faced with an eternity as I am now…an eternity empty and alone but for the screams of those who feed the tree.

"Though I can face the thought of living empty, I can not listen any more to those screams,

"Thus I am going to exorcise the tree."

"Is that not dangerous?"

"There is risk, of course and yet it does not matter to me whether I die or no."

I little like his tone and I suspect there is more than a minimal risk to this action.

There is a way to steer his mind from this course and though I feel guilty in using it I know it is the only choice.

"If you die, Subaru, his last remnant will fade also."

His had raises to touch his right eye and for a moment I believe I have won this argument, believe that he shall give up on this idea.

Then he smiles and says,

"I am the only one who cares whether he endures or no, thus for his essence to fade will not be the greatest of tragedies."

"Subaru, I understand why you wish simply to let go, for I also had such a want at the ending of that year. Yet Fuuma died so that I might live and though I am broken, though I shall never love again I shall honour his sacrifice.

"Shall live in his memory and shall live in the knowledge that he cared for me."

"If you truly believe that, Kamui, why have you not visited the tower for six years? Why do you not set flowers to the base of the tower as Arashi does?"

He stands then and bowing to Arashi remarks,

"Thank you for bringing me to him, Arashi and you are welcome still to come with me on Sunday should you wish."

Before he is gone from the apartment.

…………………………………………………………………………….

I decide to go the park simply because I wish him to know that though I disapprove I am still his friend.

Kotori is with them and she looks so different in the pail grey that I associate with pink, that fro a moment she does not seem as the same little girl that I have so fallen in love with.

Then she reaches for my hand as Subaru begins his chanting and the familiar pattern of her palm settles the odd discomfort I had felt.

The sakura reacts violently to the spell and when one of the blossoms slices a small cut across the back of my leg I raise a barrier against them.

Both Subaru and the tree are dead when I lower the barrier again and yet there is such a smile to the older man's face that I find I can not be angry at him.

For in death he has found his peace at last.

I attend the funeral with the other seals and mumble some fitting last words to the Onmyoji before I leave the graveyard.

I wonder the streets of Tokyo aimlessly and it is only when I no longer feel the press of others about me that I realise where my feet have taken me.

The tower has not changed since I gazed the last upon its splendour.

I think to leave and then I recall Subaru's last enquiry to me,

'Why have you not visited the tower for six years?'

I was afraid.

I knew that without question or thought and yet why? What was there to fear?

Stealing my nerve I leapt for the flat roof of the observation deck and settling myself into a meditating stance enquired,

"Fuuma…will you come and talk to me?"

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T: Yes that is where I am going to leave it…mean aren't I? The next chapy might be a while in coming both because it shall be the last and because it deals with Kakyo who is my white wheal as far as X characters go…R+R as I'm addicted to praise!