For the love of God... is that all the reviews I got? Eh, bloody hell...anyway, here's chapter 8 of the Amazing Race for your enjoyment. NOW REVIEW, PEOPLE!
Responses:
superdave: That's good. By the way, you will also appear in the finale of the Amazing Race since you co-hosted it.
LegoMan727: I was in a rush to finish that chapter, hence why it was pretty bad.
Nintendo Nut1: Well, well, your make out paradise might or might not end, depending on my mood...heh heh heh...
Link: OO Good lord...
Backstage...
"Man...No one reviewed, so I'm hunting down a co-host...how lame..." Nintendo Nut1 complained through a chocolate bar as she began knocking on random doors in a small town. "What the hell are these people doing...?" Knocking on another door, it was opened by a 16-year-old girl who, from the looks of it, had been sleeping for a while.
"What do you want...hey! Aren't you that Nintendo Nut person on that fan fiction place?"
"Umm...yes, I am?"
"YAY! I WANNA CO-HOST!" Getting a better look at the girl, Nintendo Nut1 noticed that she was Korean. She had black hair and sepia-colored eyes. Her clothing consisted of a black short-sleeve, a short black skirt; black boots...almost all of her attire was colored black. She also had a rapier strapped to her belt. "I'm IloveRoy on the website, but call me AznGal."
"Well, you can co-host if you want..." Nintendo Nut1 answered.
"YAY!"
"This is the land of Ostia, in the land of Lycia in Elibe." Nintendo Nut1 announced. "And this is Castle Ostia, an impregnable fortress and known governmental power center here in the land. This stronghold was the 6th Pit Stop in a race around the world."
"Teams who arrived here in the last leg now have a mandatory rest period where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." IloveRoy answered. "Teams have no idea what will await them next, so they can only use the given clues to locate the next Pit Stop. Roy and Lilina, who were the first to arrive at 7:30 pm, will depart at 7:30 am. EEEEK! ROY, YOU COMPLETE ME! EEEK!"
"WOOT!" Nintendo Nut1 cried for no apparent reason as she spun around like a top.
Roy and Lilina
1st to depart, 7:30 am
Location: Castle Ostia's main gate
"Ooh, let's see...'Travel by train to the land of Pherae...'" Lilina began reading.
"Teams must now head 4.5 miles to the Ostia train station." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must board a train bound for Pherae, 50 miles away. When they depart at Benedictine Station, teams must locate the Statue of Courage to locate their next clue."
"Well, here we come..." Roy muttered, as they jacked a carriage bound for the station.
Link and Zelda
2nd to depart, 7:35 am
Location: Castle Ostia's main gate
"This'll be fun...a train ride?" Link asked as he and Zelda was carted off towards the train station.
"I hope someone doesn't try to rob the train, though..." Zelda thought.
Pikachu and Pichu
3rd to depart, 7:36 am
Location: Castle Ostia's main gate
"Working with these guys helps..." Pikachu replied as he read the clue. "Pherae...hmm."
"Oh...my head hurts..." Pichu said, clutching his head in pain as he stumbled into the carriage. "I feel like someone jack hammered my head last night..."
"You deserve that..." Pikachu said as he hopped into the carriage with Pichu.
Yoshi and DK
4th to depart, 7:37 am
Location: Castle Ostia's main gate
"I'm tired..." Yoshi said on the drive towards the station.
"Well, you could sleep..." No sooner was the words out of DK's mouth that Yoshi fell straight asleep, curling up on the window seat. "Heh, he'll never change..."
Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 5th place
Location: Castle Ostia's main gate
"Pherae?" Ness asked.
"I believe it's a sub-region located here on the Lycian continent..." Mewtwo explained.
"Well, let's go..." Ness said as he and Mewtwo made their way to the station.
Pemberton Terminal, Ostia
Platform 8 bound for Pherae
Roy and Lilina
Currently in 1st place
"Well, here's the place..." Lilina said. "But there are no trains here..."
"I found out the train leaves at 10:00 am today," Roy panted, running back from the ticket counter with two train tickets in his hand. "That gives the other teams 2½ hours to get here."
"Oh, dear...at this rate, the other teams will be here..."
2½ hours later
"See!" Lilina fluted fixedly. "The other teams are here!"
"All the teams are now on their way to Pherae." IloveRoy reported. "Once they get there, they must locate the Statue of Courage to receive their next clue. GO ROY!"
Benedictine Station, Edgerton Terminal, Pherae
Platform 4: Arriving from Ostia
Roy and Lilina
Currently in 1st place
Location: Saragossa Park, near the Statue of Courage
"I love this land." Roy said.
"So do I..." Lilina said. "Especially when I'm with you, Roy..."
"Lilina...do you...um...you know..." Roy stammered.
"Could he be...does he like me?"
"Hey! There's the clue!" Roy shouted, pointing eloquently towards the Statue of Courage.
"Damn it...stupid clue box..." Lilina angrily thought. She opened the box and read the clue. "'Travel by carriage to Botanist's Beach on the shores of Lake Vindross...'"
"Teams must now make their way to Lake Vindross, near the border to Santaruz," Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must locate the Botanist's Beach, named for the flora that breeds there, to receive their next clue."
"Let's go..." Roy said. Lilina stayed behind a bit to curse the clue box and kick it over, and then ran off after Roy to join him in the carriage.
Link and Zelda
Currently in 2nd place
Location: Saragossa Park
"Botanist's Beach?" Link asked. "What the heck is that?"
Zelda screamed. "What if there are plants that try to eat us? EEK!"
"Don't worry, I'll protect you..."
"Thanks. I know I would just die if something tried to eat me..." Zelda scooted closer to Link, liking every minute she spent with him.
"Poor little kitten..." Link said playfully as he kissed Zelda on the forehead.
Pikachu and Pichu
Currently in 3rd place
Location: Saragossa Park
"OH MY GOD!" Pichu screamed. "Link and Zelda are making out, MY VIRGIN EYES!"
"Oh, for the love of Rayqueza..." Pikachu smacked himself in the forehead, exasperated at Pichu.
"EEK! YOU JUST SWORE!" Pichu screamed as he grabbed a clue and tore it open. "Whoa, Botanist's Beach? What's that?"
"I have no idea..." Pikachu said as he dragged him off.
Yoshi and DK
Currently in 4th place
Location: Saragossa Park
"YAY!" Yoshi squeaked as he read the clue. "We get to go to the beach! And there's plants, which mean exotic fruit!"
"Don't tell me you already forgot that time when you had diarrhea and pooped all over the Mansion because of a weird fruit like-" DK was interrupted by an angry Yoshi.
"STFU!"
Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 5th place
Location: Saragossa Park
"I see some hostile plants in this Botanist's Beach place...be careful." Mewtwo noted, using Foresight to see the future.
"We will." Ness assured Mewtwo, leaving the vicinity.
Fox and Falco
Currently in 6th place
Location: Saragossa Park
"Yes!" Falco cheered. "We're not last!"
"Of course not, what do you think we are?" Fox asked as he read the clue. "Botanist's Beach?"
"We better be prepared." Falco stated, pulling out a belt with blasters, grenades, machine guns-the whole damn StarFox arsenal, if you will.
"Of course..." Fox sighed as he got into the carriage and rode off.
Botanist's Beach, Lake Vindross, Pherae
Roy and Lilina
Currently in 1st place
"The clue, the clue, the clue!" Lilina said. "So ho! 'Detour: Plants or Animals...'"
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons." IloveRoy said. "In this Detour, teams must choose between Plants or Animals. In Plants, teams will receive a guide book on plants. Teams must then search one square of land and locate two plants pictured in the field guide. Once they take the specimens back to the scientist, he will give them the next clue."
"In Animals, teams must make their way to the reception center near the entrance of the park and locate three horses using only their numbers," Nintendo Nut1 said. "If they locate the correct three horses, the receptionist will give them the next clue."
"Well, what do you think?" Lilina asked Roy.
"Let's do Plants, trying to find three horses by number are too difficult." Roy reasoned. "Maybe we should take a break first, though...besides, the forest where we search for the plants won't open for 2 more hours anyway." Roy collapsed onto the sand, exhausted.
"Okay..."
Yoshi and DK
Currently in 2nd place
Location: Botanist's Beach
"WOW!" Yoshi squeaked. "This looks so nice!"
"Well, at least there are no man-eating plants..." DK agreed as he read the clue. "You want to do the Plants task?"
"I want to swim!" Yoshi said.
"Go ahead. The greenhouse doesn't open till 12:00 noon today."
Link and Zelda
Currently in 3rd place
Location: Botanist's Beach
"Plants or Animals...what do you think?" Zelda asked after she read the clue.
"I think we should try finding plants...it can't be too difficult, right?" Link asked.
"I guess that's true." Zelda replied. "Plants it is!"
Pikachu and Pichu
Currently in 4th place
Location: Botanist's Beach
"Plants we should do because it is shorter." Pichu reasoned after reading the clue.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night..." Pikachu said languidly.
Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 5th place
Location: Botanist's Beach
"Well, well, what should we do? Do we risk getting eaten by plants or getting trampled on by horses?" Ness mused.
"We could try Plants since everyone else is doing that, and there are more people that'll notice us..." Mewtwo replied.
"Well, okay..."
Fox and Falco
Currently in 6th place
Location: Botanist's Beach
"Well, we know we're taking Plants since we're adventurous..." Falco said. "But I'm bored! And we still have an hour before the damn place opens!" Falco then noticed a sly smile reaching across Fox's features as he watched the other teams goofing off and hanging out, basically. "What's with the smirk, huh?"
"Feel like pulling a Broadway?"
"Man, I'm tired of waiting!" Yoshi vexed. He got up from the poker game he was playing with Pichu and DK and stomped off towards the reception center. "Man, are they going to open it or what?"
"Meet Yoshi, 19 years old."
"What-! Who's there?" Yoshi squeaked, looking around for the source.
"Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store."
"Liquor store! What the heck are you talking about, you retard?" Yoshi yelled.
"But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..." the voice finished as the music for Eminem's Guilty Conscience started playing.
"Alright, stop!"
"Say what?" Yoshi asked as he turned to see air.
"Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer, you better think of the consequence." Fox rapped as he leapt out of the bushes.
"Fox!" Yoshi fluted. "What the hell-"
"I'm your muthafuckin conscience!"
"That's nonsense!" Falco rapped as he took his place beside and facing Fox. "Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs and borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs; tell her you need a place to stay, you'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade."
"Yeah, but if it all goes through like it's supposed to, the whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you! Think about it before you walk in the door first: look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns."
"Who's that?" Yoshi asked.
"Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit?" Falco asked.
"No..."
"Are you that rich?"
"No..."
"Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?"
"What kind of questions are those?" Yoshi squealed as Fox began rapping again.
"Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! Not over this shit; drop the biscuit! Don't even listen to Falco yo, he's bad for you!"
"You know what, Fox? I don't like your attitude." Falco snapped before they ran off, leaving Yoshi speechless.
"What the heck...?"
Roy and Lilina were relaxing at the beach, soaking up some sun and splashing each other every now and again. Roy had stripped down to red swimming trunks, and Lilina couldn't help but blush at how hot Roy looked. She, on the other hand, wore a blue two-piece, and Roy was having a hard time keeping his mind out of the gutter.
"Hey...Roy...you look great..." Lilina said, trying not to offend him.
"Th-thanks, you look nice too..." Roy stuttered, scooting closer to the mage.
"Oh...tee hee..." Lilina giggled nervously as she embraced the red-headed swordsman, causing his blush to become worse. "You're sweet, Roy..."
"Meet Roy, 17 years old."
"What in Lycia...?" Roy started, but was interrupted.
"After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom."
"That's so not true!" Lilina blurted out, letting go of Roy and shaking her fist towards the voice. "Stop it!"
"Once again, his conscience comes into play..."
"Now listen to me, while you're kissing her cheek and smearing her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink. Now all you have to do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..." Falco rapped.
"Hey! That's a mean thing to say about me..." Lilina said, tears forming at her eyes.
"Stow it, you retard!" Roy said, brushing tears out of Lilina's eyes and getting ready to jaw Falco.
"Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old! You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair!" Fox retorted.
"It's rather rude and brash to reveal a lady's age..." Lilina muttered in anger.
"Yo, look at her bush. Does it have hair?" Falco asked.
"What the hell do you take me for; do you think I'm some kind of hormone-crazed lunatic!" Roy blurted out.
"Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare 'til she passes out and she forgot how she got there." Falco finished.
"Shut up, vile rogue!" Lilina was pulling a Fire tome out of her pack.
"Man, haven't you ever seen that one movie Kids?" Fox muttered.
"No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!"
"Bloody hell..." Lilina said. "This guy's got some issues..."
"Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?"
"Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..." Falco sang as he and Fox ditched an angry-looking Roy and Lilina.
"That ruined the moment..." Roy spluttered as Lilina protectively clutched him in her arms.
Link and Zelda met with Pikachu concerning the trip they should take through the Detour.
"So, you can help us?" Link asked.
"Why not? The rules don't say anything about not helping the other teams..."
"YAY!" Zelda cheered.
"Meet Link, a 17 year old Hero of Time."
"Hey! Who said that?"
"After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his girlfriend in bed with another man."
"How rude!" Zelda said.
"What the hell's going on?" Pikachu asked. "My god, you have some sick minds..."
"Alright calm down, relax, and start breathing..." Fox began.
"Fuck that shit; you just caught this bitch cheating! While you at work, she's with some dude trying to get off!" Falco protested. "FUCK slitting her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!"
"Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?"
"What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?"
"Good lord..." Link said. "This discussion is highly improper. Zelda, you had better cover your ears. I would recommend that you do the same, Pikachu, though I am well aware that Pokèmon do not have any real delicacy of mind."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Pikachu spluttered.
"Alright Falco, maybe he's right Link, but think about the baby before you get all crazy."
"Okay; thought about it, still want to stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did; be smart, don't be a retard! You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES!"
"What'chu say?" Falco had evidently struck a chord.
"What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?" Falco teased.
"I'm a kill you motherfucker!" Fox threatened.
"Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!" Falco was messing with Fox."Mr. Fox? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight out of Compton; y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?"
"Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went! Been there, done that... aw fuck it...What am I saying? Shoot 'em both Link, where's your gun at?"
"AFTER THEM!" the other teams announced as they charged at Fox and Falco. They screamed like little girls and ran away from the angry mob. DK stood calmly watching, as if he were observing a TV show that did not please him above half, though he made it a point to keeping an eye on Yoshi as well as the teams from Fire Emblem and Legend of Zelda. Ness and Mewtwo realized suddenly that, for the time being, no one was watching them. They slid quietly behind a tree and crouched down, eyeing the path to the Botanist's Gate. Two more trees and a stone bench would provide some concealment, but they would have to cross an open stretch of beach to reach the gate itself. They shrugged and began moving.
They weren't even halfway to their goal when Fox and Falco blew past them and ran into the greenhouse itself. "Augh! MOMMY!" Falco screamed as Ness and Mewtwo were abruptly trampled on by the angry mob. Ness and Mewtwo were left twitching on the ground, black footprints engraved in their skin.
"Ow...it hurts..." Mewtwo said as they heard the sound of glass breaking, women screaming and pants ripping. Suddenly a volley of potted plants flew outside the door and shattered against the ground, leaving various botanical samples strewn about the ground near them.
"I told you we'd need to be careful..." Mewtwo said. "Oh, well, at least we can get the clue now." He grabbed two plants and handed them to the scientist. "Let's see... 'Make your way to Castle Pherae...'"
"Teams must go to Castle Pherae 2 miles away." IloveRoy announced. "Once there, teams will make their way to the main gate to locate the next clue. Hey, Nintendo Nut1! Do you have my crowbar?"
"Whee! One crowbar, hold the onions!" Nintendo Nut1 had gone hyper again and was wearing a ridiculous Mardi Gras feather boa and asked in a weird nasal voice, "Don't I look fabulous?"
"Fabulously ridiculous." IloveRoy said. "Now excuse me while I try to steal a pair of Roy's underwear from Castle Pherae." She ran off, but not before donning a black ski mask. "YAY ROY!"
"We got the clue and the map, so let's go!" Ness announced loud enough to be heard inside the greenhouse.
"WHAT?" several angry voices said at once as the other teams rushed out of the greenhouse. Roy examined them with angry speculation, and Fox and Falco's blasters turned to point at Mewtwo. Ness cursed mentally and swiveled his head from side to side, trying to watch the road and Fox and Falco at the same time.
"I told you not to play tricks with me!" Fox shouted.
"But you didn't command him to do anything in the first place." Pichu noted.
"...you just had to ruin the dramatic scene, didn't you?" At this time, Ness and Mewtwo's coach drove up and they hopped in before anyone noticed.
"Well, that was fun..." Link noted. Unbeknownst to them, Roy and Lilina had completed the task while they were talking and rushed off as well. "Wait, what are we waiting for? We have to get the clue, too!" With that, the remaining teams rushed back into the greenhouse to locate the plants.
Castle Pherae Main Gate
Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 1st place
"There's the clue!" Ness said. He tore open the clue and read, "'Road Block: Feel like hunting for buried treasure?'"
"A Road Block is a task only one person can perform, and no one person can do more than 6 road blocks in the entire race." Nintendo Nut1 said. She continued, "In this Road Block, teams must search for three keys to open the castle gate. That person will only have three hints as to their locations. Once they find the keys, they can open the gate and receive their next clue."
"Well, I'll do it..." Ness remarked as he read the three clues to locate a key. "'When I grow up, I want to be a tree...' Good lord, this'll take a while..."
Roy and Lilina
Currently in 2nd place
Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate
"I'll do it..." Roy said after reading the clue. "I know the castle like the back of my hand."
"You should, you grew up here!" Lilina snapped.
"Fine, fine... 'The eyes see all and all they see, which looking liking the reflection of thee...' ...it must be behind the mirror near that freaky eye tapestry in the gatehouse!" Roy ran off towards the gatehouse and later emerged with a sword-shaped key. "Got one!"
Pikachu and Pichu
Currently in 3rd place
Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate
"Key...key..." Pichu said as he was strolling around the castle. "What does this mean? 'The person you have been waiting for has arrived...' ...augh! I can't figure it out!" He soon happened to stroll by a statue of a person sitting and waiting. "Hey, that's pretty cool...wait, what's that?" He noticed the key hanging around the statue's neck. Pichu grabbed the key and ran off. "That's one down, two to go..."
Link and Zelda
Currently in 4th place
Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate
"This is one weird clue..." Link said. "'Abstracted life is not what we need...' This is hard!" Sometime later, he passed by what looked like an art gallery. He was browsing at some of the artwork when he stopped at a painting of two people and a vase, all made up of vibrant color and squares. "That's weird...at least the key painted in looks it...hey, wait a minute!" He reached out and poked the painting, which shook the key out of the painting and onto the floor, where Link picked up the key. "That was weird..." Trying not to think about it too much, he ran off with a confused look on his face.
Yoshi and DK
Currently in 5th place
Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate
"Good lord... 'Out of the grower, something sweet to eat, out of the eater, the key to salvation...' my head hurts." Yoshi said. Walking around, he soon noticed a small watermelon growing nearby. "YAY! FRUIT!" Yoshi swallowed it wholeheartedly. However, something got stuck in his throat, and Yoshi was coughing frantically to get it out. He succeeded and coughed up...a key? "What on earth...oh, I get it..." Yoshi said as he pranced off in search of the next key.
Roy and Lilina
Currently in 1st place
Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate
"Well, that takes care of the gate..." Roy said as the gate swung open to admit them onto the castle grounds. He and Lilina made their way into the main hall, where the guard gave them the clue. "'Go to the next Pit Stop, the Renfro Overlook...'"
"Teams must now go to the Renfro Overlook outside Castle Pherae." IloveRoy said. "This picturesque hill, featured in the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King movie, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated. GO ROY!"
"This is easy..." Lilina said as they ran out of the castle.
Renfro Overlook
"Man, when will they get here?" IloveRoy said. "Waiting wasn't on the job description..."
"Well, at least you will meet my son..." an old man said. His hair was as flame-colored as Roy's, and his attire consisted of a royal blue robe and a suit of red and blue armor underneath.
"We know, Lord Eliwood..." Nintendo Nut1 stated, chewing on a chocolate bar. She then noticed Roy and Lilina running up towards them and watched as they skidded to a stop on the world map. "Roy and Lilina, you are team number one!"
"Yay!" Lilina cheered.
"Well, you have done well, my son." Lord Eliwood said, catching Roy's attention at last.
"Dad! Good to see you again!" Roy replied, hugging his dad.
"I know. Here you go, son." Eliwood had handed them both a Souvenir Set bound inside a box of red with the Fire Emblem symbol engraved on it. "Now do your best, my boy."
"Don't worry, I will." Then IloveRoy surprised the whole company by walking up to him and kissing him tenderly. This caused several angry curses directed at her from Lilina, a 'Good lord' from Eliwood, and a smug look from Nintendo Nut1. "Whoa! What the heck-"
"I have to go and finish my business on Roy. But we'll meet again." With that, she grabbed Souvenir Set 6 (see ch 7 for details) and disappeared in a column of light as Link and Zelda run up towards the world mat.
"What's with that girl, trying to kiss Roy..." Lilina spluttered.
"YAY! Link and Zelda, you are team number two! YAY!" Nintendo Nut1 took this time to jump Link and glomp him, but she was pulled off soon after by Zelda, who was muttering little strings of curses. "Hey, I can't help myself! He's hot!"
The day was uneventful after that, with Pikachu and Pichu, Yoshi and DK, Ness and Mewtwo, Fox and Falco, and Marth and Sheeda, leaving Mario and Luigi the last to arrive.
"Mario and Luigi, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you you've both been eliminated from the race." Nintendo Nut1 watched as they walked off sobbing and basically feeling sorry for themselves.
"Well-a, I'm-a glad-a to have-a been with-a my brother on Amazing Race. That's-a all I can say." Mario replied, hugging his brother.
That's it for leg 7. You want to co-host; you know the drill:
Penname:
Age:
Favorite Smasher:
Description:
GENDER!
hair color
eye color
your attire
race
personality
any personality quirks
The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next o-host:
The Castle Pherae miniature
A Lord Eliwood figurine
The Divine Weapon, Foreblaze
A Guidebook to Pherae
The Guide to Pherae for Dummies book
A new weapon of your choice
Pherae: The Movie
Farewell! Until next time!
Gamer21