Summary: As a life hangs in the balance, there is reflection

Spoilers: The Siege, part 1

Rating: G/Gen

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters found therein.

A/N: This was originally written for the SGA Flashfic community on Live Journal. It's my first Atlantis fic and my first fic in any fandom in literally years. If you feel the urge, I'd love to read your reviews. I'm planning to do more and would love to know what I'm doing right or wrong.

Life in the Balance

"After it's done then."

Peter Grodin echoed the words that had just been spoken to him, trying to project a confidence that he was very far from feeling. The words hung over him heavily as he worked, trying to power up the satellite. The words reminded him of what he would lose if he didn't make it. He would never have a chance to return to Earth, never again tell his parents or his little sister that he loved them, never again see Atlantis, the city he had come to call home.

"Stay exactly where you are."

Peter said this determinedly, silently pleading with Rodney to listen to reason. He knew that time was running out. As much as he didn't want to lose his life, the idea of losing everyone in Atlantis was far worse. Fear hung heavily in his heart. He had left his familiy behind on Earth, but gained a whole new one after coming to Atlantis. Doctor Weir, who he respected, admired, and enjoyed working for. Rodney McKay who was arrogant, self-centered, and rude, but also brilliant, loyal, and when it came down to it, brave. Rodney had saved them countless times and there was definitely a respect and affection there. There were others as well. Major Sheppard, Zelenka, Stackhouse, scientists and millitary alike. Being stranded away from Earth had brought him closer to so many of them and he would do whatever he could to give them a chance to beat the Wraith. The satellite fired and the first Wraith hive ship was suddenly gone. For a brief moment, he felt hope swell with in him, but it was quickly extinguished when he realized that something was wrong.

"I'm sorry."

Peter said those two short words and knew that they would be his last. He knew that they could never convey all that he wanted them to, but it was all he had. He was sorry that he would never see his family again and that they would never really know what had happened to him. He was sorry that he wouldn't be able to help his friends try to defeat the Wraith, and he was sorry that Rodney and Aaron had to watch as the sattellite was distroyed. Most of all, he was sorry about the loss of life. They had lost too many people since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy and he didn't want to lose any more. Life was hanging in the balance and he weighed his own against theirs. He knew that if he had it to do all over again, he would do everything exactly the same.