Hermione found Draco easily; his distinctive hair was just visible over a pile of Transfiguration texts. Nervously, she adjusted her skirt and wished she'd changed into something slightly nicer. Oh well...if he didn't like her outfit, nothing lost, right?
Except all sense of dignity, pride, and self-worth...
She was just about to turn back when Draco glanced up. There was no escaping it now. Hermione took a deep breath and made her way over to the seat opposite Draco. "Malf—Draco," she began, then realized that she had no idea what to say that wouldn't sound utterly idiotic. Draco had set down his quill and was looking at her patiently, and she felt an unwarranted blush spreading across her cheeks. "I—well—I—yes," she explained coherently and, unable to meet his eyes, stared down at her hands. When she did look up, Draco looked distinctly puzzled.
"Er, Hermione...I'm terribly sorry, but if there was a prize for Most Confusing Girl in Hogwarts, it'd be sitting on your dresser. Mind explaining?"
"I'm saying yes, all right?" Hermione felt she could have won any number of prizes for Most Embarrassed Girl in Hogwarts at the moment.
"I got that part. Yes to what?"
"I don't know! Hogsmeade, or something!" Hermione yelped, her thoughts running around in her head like rabid Chihuahuas with dynamite strapped to their backs.
"Hogsmeade? You mean, on a date?"
"Of cou--" There was something wrong with this scenario...Hermione faltered. "Didn't you tell Harry and Ron…"
He frowned. "I haven't talked to them for ages. Why? What was I supposed to have told them?"
Hermione buried her burning face in her arms. So Harry and Ron had just been trying to set them up. And she had just humiliated herself beyond her wildest nightmares in front of Draco Malfoy.
"Hermione?" And said Draco Malfoy was being uncharacteristically nice, which was far worse than if he'd been nasty about it. At least she could have slapped him or something.
"Go away," she moaned in a muffled voice. "I'm trying to die quietly."
"That's the most coherent thing you've said yet. Will you please, please tell me what's going on and why you're trying to die and why I should have said something to Harry and Ron about Hogsmeade and—oh. OH." It had all finally clicked.
Hermione wanted to slink under the table. She was sure she'd be able to die of pure shame. She risked a glance upwards, and saw an empty chair. So he'd left. Well, she shouldn't be surprised…
With a sigh, she stood up, turned around, and almost screamed at the sight of Draco Malfoy, hand extended, standing awkwardly behind her. "Dammit Draco!" She put a hand to her heart; it was hammering wildly, and she assumed it was from the shock. She was most certainly not going to think about silky soft platinum blond locks falling across clear silvery eyes. "Don't do that!" He smiled—well, it was more of an amused smirk, but there was a definite smileyness to it—and let his hand drop to her arm. There was only so much shame you could endure in one day, and that was it for Hermione. She pushed his hand off her arm with a temper that surprised even herself. "I've had enough of being manipulated and set up for complete and utter humiliation today! First Harry and Ron, with their 'You should see how he looks at you, Hermione,' and 'He's really a decent guy,' and now you and your damn hair and your damn eyes and your damn, damn pretty-boy smile!"
Hermione thought over what she'd just said and decided that it would be a very good idea to be very, very quiet.
"They said that?"
She nodded mutely.
"And did you say you liked my hair and eyes and smile?"
She shook her head vehemently.
"So does that mean you won't go with me to Hogsmeade after all?"
She started to shake her head, then tried to turn it into a nod, and finally settled for immobility. Draco was staring at her intently…those eyes could put a hypnotist out of business, she privately decided.
"Come on, Hermione. It won't kill you to say something."
"It very nearly did today," she muttered. "Anyway, now I've had quite enough mortification, thank you very much. I'll just run along and perform a couple of Avada Kedavras," she concluded. She started to push past him, but he grabbed her arm with Seeker's reflexes.
"What?" she snapped.
He sighed, and for a moment Hermione was entirely fascinated by how adorable he looked when he did that. In the most evil-Slytherinish way possible, of course.
"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? Say yes or no. It's not that complicated."
"I thought you didn't want to ask me out! You said you hadn't talked to Harry or Ron."
"I didn't. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to accompany me to Hogsmeade. I was going to ask you anyway—I was even planning to arrange an opportunity next week—but, well, now's as good a time as any." He grinned, and every female in the library melted.
"All right, then." Hermione said as coherently as she could.
"Do you think it makes me look more intimidating if I take off my glasses, Ron?" Harry asked, holding aforementioned glasses by the left lens.
"Harry," Ron said gently, "That's Seamus. I'm over here."
Harry resignedly put his glasses back on, after a rather half-hearted attempt to wipe the fingerprints off.
Dean beat Seamus at Exploding Snap for the sixth time in a row and looked up. "Watch out—here comes herself. Er, Seamus and I will just trot along to the dormitories now…"
"Oh, no you don't," said Harry firmly. "Ron and me need you for emotional support. All for one and one for all, House loyalty, and all that sort of thing, right?"
"Nope, sorry," said Seamus, sweeping up the cards. "You're on your own here. Bye!"
The escaped just as Hermione burst into the room. "Harry James Potter! Ronald Whatever-Your-Middle-Name-Is Weasley!"
"What is your middle name, anyway?" Harry asked Ron.
"Bilius," Ron mumbled, turning red.
Harry stared at him incredulously. "Bilius?"
"My mum's idea. I'm just glad it's my middle name and not my first."
"Bilius Ronald Weasley…Bill…Billy-Bil-Billers…" Harry said thoughtfully. "It's got a certain ring to it."
"Shut up, Harry."
"STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT!" Hermione scowled blackly at them, and they cowered appropriately.
"Eep," said Ron.
Harry nudged him and whispered, "We're in trouble—she's gone caps-locky."
"But we will be brave!" Ron muttered back.
"Courage in the face of caps-lock!"
"Onward, comrades!"
"We will not yield!"
"Never!"
At which point they began to wave their arms and sing some dreadful battle hymn that neither knew all the words to.
"STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!"
They stopped.
"Er, sorry," said Harry.
"We got a bit carried away," said Ron.
Hermione massaged her temples. Why was it always so difficult with boys? She continued, in a deadly quiet tone. "You have humiliated me utterly and completely. You will pay. Good night."
"But it isn't even lunchti—ow!" Ron glared at Harry, who had just saved both of their lives by stomping on Ron's foot. Nervously, Harry watched Hermione's flight up the stairs, grinding his heel into Ron's foot absentmindedly until Hermione disappeared. Finally, Ron dislodged Harry by trying to kick The Boy Who Lived with his other foot, not succeeding, and tripping both of them.
Harry sat up and took off his glasses, looking dolefully at the almost opaque lens. "Ron, do you ever have days where you feel like you're just there for comic relief? That your life has no purpose? That you exist as a side entity, and aren't really the focus of the show?"
Ron snorted. "You're asking The Boy Who Lived's sidekick? That's rich, Harry. Anyway, who would the story be about, if it wasn't about you? Hermione?"
"Well," Harry pointed out, "I'm usually the only one who goes caps-locky. Now Hermione's gone and done it."
"Ah, but you provoked her into doing so!" Ron gave Harry a smug grin.
Enter Ginny, stage right, via staircase from girls' dorms. "You done with my boyfriend, Ron?"
"Boyfriend? BOYFRIEND?"
"Er, Ginny…" Harry glanced nervously between the Weasleys. "I hadn't actually mentioned that to Ron quite yet." At Ron's reproachful glare, he quickly added, "But I was going to! I just wanted to wait for the right time."
"Ah," Ginny said. "As in, not now. Oops. Well, I'll be seeing you both soon!"
Exit Ginny, stage right, via staircase to girls' dorms.
"We need to talk," said Ron.
11/07/04: Muahahaha! I am like unto a god, for I didst prophecy that Ron would have a ridiculous middle name before JKR said so! ...or perhaps I should be quiet now.