My name is Tanash-194 of the Hect Simplatt pool. I am not related to Tarash 514, who is currently Visser Seven but is in the process of being promoted to Visser Five.

I used to be a sub visser. I used to be a Yeerk. Part of me still is, even though you'd never know.

I am a human nothlit.

I suppose that my story started when I was given the power to morph. I held the rank of sub visser two. I was very busy with recruiting members to join the Sharing.

My host was a fifteen year old girl. Her name was Christina, and she was fairly popular.

It had been my idea to determine which people at which schools were considered popular, and then to infest them. If we could persuade a few hundred human children and teenagers to join the Sharing, it would only be a matter of months before the rest of the human race surrendered to Yeerk control.

She was not voluntary, but she was cooperative. I treated her as was acceptable; I did not torture her, but I also did not befriend her.

Mostly, we ignored each other.

I had been working for Visser Three at the time I received Christina. I had controlled another human host and became intrigued by the workings of the human mind. It was then that my popularity idea sprung into form. I requested a host change so that I could put this idea into practice.

My first host was not suitable for the job because he was known as a "geek" at his school. He had joined the Sharing as a way of trying to find other geeks, and perhaps meet a geeky girlfriend. He would go to another Yeerk, and I would pursue my vision and further my glory.

Because I did an excellent job serving the Empire, and the Council knew this, Visser Three granted me permission to obtain a popular human so that I could pursue my course of action. I would keep track of all of the students in the human's high school and in the Sharing who were popular. I would comprise a list of the names of people who dominated their schools, starting with the teenagers but gradually working to college and, eventually, children.

It should come as no surprise that this plan worked fairly well and I was promoted from sub-visser fifty to sub-visser two within a relatively short time period.

I had hopes of becoming a Visser, and perhaps serving on the Council at some point. I was a loyal Yeerk. I was ambitious. Some would argue that I was ruthless, but I was not unnecessarily cruel. I never reduced any of my hosts to a staring idiot. This was not entirely out of kindness. Only the Yeerks who have something to hide torture their hosts needlessly.

A few days after receiving my new title, something happened that completely changed us both.

I was walking home from school one afternoon when I noticed a blue flash of light from a pipe outside. I thought nothing of it, but my host wanted me to look at it.

I assured her that it was nothing, but she protested.

It could be something important.

She was thinking that perhaps it was a piece of human technology, such as a cellular phone. Christina had an odd habit for collecting pieces of junk.

It's nothing, human.

Just look.

Not wanting to start a fight over next to nothing, I walked a few steps back and examined the pipe. To my surprise, it was a fragment of the escafil device. It had been taken apart.

Well, human, it looks as though you are correct, I mused. Now, let's use those eyes of yours and see if we can find the rest of it.

Christina beamed.

I searched the area for the rest of the box. It was difficult, but eventually I found all of the pieces and assembled them together.

This could be quite useful, I mused. I will hand it over to Visser Three, of course, but in the meantime, I shall be the first Yeerk who does not need a host.

Will you let your hosts go once you have the power to morph?

It is a possibility, but there are those of us who will want the power to morph as well as the ability to assume another form. I am content with assuming another form, but the Council will decide what is best for everyone.

Christina remained silent, but I knew what she was thinking.

I will acquire you and a few members of your family. You will either be reinfested or freed, depending on whether you choose to cooperate with me, I added. You will come with me when I show the box to Visser Three.

Since Christina knew that failing to cooperate with me would result in immediate execution, she readily agreed.

That night, I left Christina and she walked with me to her parent's room. We acquired their DNA quickly, as well as her DNA and her sister's. I morphed as soon as we got back into her room. I could hear her trying not to scream as my ears popped out with my eyes. She looked horrified. I couldn't say that I blamed her. I had seen morphing before; it wasn't pretty.

I looked in her mirror when the changes were complete. I resembled her more than any other of the people I acquired. I had long brown hair, very curly, and pale blue eyes. I had a few freckles, and was medium small, in terms of height. I looked on the thin side. Christina was getting some clothes for me. I remembered that it was almost impossible to morph clothing.

"It is strange to have an actual body," I mused. "I think I prefer this to infestation."

"I do," Christina replied.

I glared at her.

"Tomorrow, we shall go to the Yeerk pool and I will present the device to the visser. You will come with me," I emphasized. "If you try to escape, I can assure you that your fate will not be pleasant."

"Yes, sub-visser."

As she spoke, she looked in her drawers, took out some clothes, and handed me some pajamas to wear for that night. I realized, embarrassed, that I was naked in front of her. I gratefully put on the clothes as I gave her my answer.

"Are you going to become a...what's it called?"

"A nothlit?"

She nodded, with that look on her face that I recognized so well, the one that said, "I knew it was something like that!"

"Yes, I will become one. I don't plan to morph any other animals, and there's little point in remaining in my Yeerk form, especially when that means that I would still need to feed. That would be bothersome."

Since my morph wasn't an exact duplicate of her, I would be unable to fool the other Yeerks. I was superior to them, but they would suspect me of being a traitor if I simply let a host go. Christina knew that.

"If you become infested again, I will ensure that it is with a kind Yeerk," I promised. "They will probably not let you go right away."

"I know."

We headed to the Yeerk pool the next day after her classes ended. I walked towards McDonalds to say the password.

"I would like a happy meal with extra happy," I said, after pretending to look at the sign.

The Controller at the counter laughed and let me through. I walked through the walk in refrigerator to the Yeerk Pool.

Even at this early hour, there were lots of Yeerks getting reinfested. I heard the screams from the cages and tried to tune them out.

People were being scanned as they walked out, to make sure that no host tried to escape without a Yeerk. So far, no one this morning had escaped. My assistant, Tahare-712, in human form as well, came up to me for a second.

"Take me to the visser," I told her. "I have important news for him."

"I don't recognize you," Tahare replied.

"That girl is my host. I have important news for the visser."

Tahare seemed suspicious, but she nodded.

"Follow me."

I noticed something suspicious.

There was a person with a device that scanned people for Yeerks.

"I was not aware of this before."

"It's new," Tahare shrugged.

I said nothing more. I would simply explain what happened when they scanned me.

"In line," said a Controller, pushing me and Tahare in line, roughly. I felt anger but made myself stay silent. I would simply give them a warning later.

The Controller began to scan us and let us pass. I was fifth in line, Tahare after me. It was soon my turn.

The Controller turned cold. "There is no Yeerk in this human," he said, grabbing my shoulders roughly with the back of his hands, forcing me to face the other guards.

I started to explain but he told me to be quiet, he wouldn't waste time with escaped humans. He grabbed me and called over another Controller, a Sub-Visser that I recognized.

"This one is an escaped one. Put her in line and infest her. Hurry, before she escapes or anyone notices that she got away." The Sub-Visser grabbed me, dragging me to the Yeerk pool. I started to explain but he just hit me and told me to be quiet, and if he had to, he would use a Dracom beam.

I decided that when the Yeerk crawled in me, it would see what had happened. There was no need to worry.

I waited in line, growing more and more worried. I saw some Hork Bajir and humans protest as their heads were shoved in the water, and others simply put their head in the water, and rise as calmly as they had been minutes before. Now that I was human, I was disgusted by the way the involuntary hosts were treated. I promised to do something about it when the whole mess cleared up.

It was soon my turn. My head was roughly shoved into the water, and I closed my eyes and anxiously waited for the Yeerk to enter. I remembered that just a few weeks ago, when I first infested Christina, that the Yeerk was me.

I tried not to think about that.

The Yeerk echolocated and felt my head in the water. It scrunch-thrusted, the way we Yeerks swim, to my head. It felt around for my ear and crawled around the entrance. It crawled in, numbing my ear as he went. I slowly felt the horror of losing control of myself. I screamed with terror, but nothing happened except I was kicked by a Hork Bajir.

Probably to shut me up, I thought cynically.

First, I could no longer move my legs. Then, I lost control of my hands. Finally, I lost control of my face. The Yeerk was fully connected. I felt disgust and relief. Now he would understand the mistake.

I felt him crawl even further into my mind, and I was unable to scream. This is what it's like for them! I thought, filled with hate for my fellow Yeerks. Was it this bad for everyone? I knew the answer.

The Yeerk was completely connected. Before I could explain what had happened, it began to mock me.

Well, well, well. Thought that you could get away, did you?

How dare they treat me with such little respect! I would punish her later for her insolence.

In the meantime, I needed to get this Yeerk out of my head.

Which one are you? I demanded.

My name is Lillim-9365 of the Hect Siap pool. It then proceeded to mock my "efforts of escape."

At least I was able to communicate with it, mind to mind.

Listen to me, Lillim! This is all a mistake! Open my memories; you'll see.

Lillim opened my memory and gasped with shock. He screamed, terrified. S-so sorry,

Sub-Visser! he exclaimed, loosening himself around my mind, giving my body back, and getting out. I didn't mean to! he shouted as he fell out.

I grabbed him and forced him back into me.

Fool! What will the others think? They'll just infest me again. Tell them, you imbecile! Or else I swear by the Kandrona that I will starve you and, in the last agonizing seconds, burn you alive and torture you to the last moment of your death! I vowed.

Lillim seemed extremely embarrassed. Yes, sub visser, it stuttered. It moved my mouth and explained to the Hork Bajir what happened. The Hork Bajir said that they would warn the others, and Lillim left me.

That afternoon, I saw Christina go to the Yeerk Pool. I watched the new Yeerk, a member of the Peace Movement, regenerate, and saw her go to the Voluntary Host area. I entered the area and said that I needed to speak with her. She left her seat, looking a little nervous. I knew what I had to do just then.

"Hi, Visser." Her face was almost stone cold, trying to be friendly in that way that lower Yeerks behaved out of fear to a superior. How similar she seemed to my subordinates in that way.

"Hello, Christina." I suddenly forgot what I was going to say; I felt so strange doing it. I knew that it was unheard of, but after being a Controller, I didn't care.

Yeerks didn't know what kind of pain that their hosts suffered. I knew that even the voluntary ones probably didn't exactly enjoy it. Not the tricked ones, anyway. And Christina was not really voluntary. I saw the look in her eyes when I told her fate just hours ago.

"What's wrong?" she asked, worried, or at the very least trying to seem that way towards me.

Just say it, I thought.

"Christina, do you know what happened to me earlier?"

She shook her head.

"Some guards thought that I was an escaped host. They...infested me."

Christina raised her eyebrows. "You must have known that was a possibility."

"It did not occur to me at the time," I admitted.

There was an awkward silence.

"I apologize for having caused you pain. I see what it's like now."

She looked at me in amazement; the hardness had disappeared from her at that moment.

"I will try to free you, and all involuntary Controllers," I promised. "I will join the Peace Movement."

Christina smiled at me for the first time ever. "Thank you, Tanash."

I smiled back and looked around the area with some fear in my eyes. I turn back to her. "Leave now. Just pretend to be getting a Yeerk. You know what to do. I'll make sure that nothing happens to you."

She nodded. "Be careful in the movement," she warned. "After what happened with Aftran..."

"Yeah, I know. Good-bye, Christina."

She kind of smiled and then left. I was now a new person. Yes, a person. I guess that part of me was a Yeerk, and still is. If I hadn't been one, I wouldn't have had that-what's the human phrase? Oh yeah, wake-up call-that I had.

That day, a huge realization dawned on me. And I would take the first step toward peace and action in the Peace Movement. Maybe, if all Yeerks experienced what I had, there would still be a chance to make peace with the Andalites. Someday. Until then, I was happy with taking a step in the right direction.

The End