To my reviewers (who hasn't said anything negative to me so far) thank you for reading this story. But sad as I am, I think this story is drawing to a close. I have no idea how much longer it would take. That of course depends if something else will come my way to make the story better. And since I think nobody is really reading all my babbling, I really should stop now because I'm taking too much space.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own RK.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THE LETTER AT THE END SINCE WHAT DEPENDS ON WHAT I'LL WRITE NEXT IS UP TO YOU!
22 Sorry
They had no choice but to send their last enforcement, Soujiro. Everybody had tried talking to her but she did not even whisper a reply. She stayed in her room and would not go out if that meant seeing Kenshin.
After urges, pleas and bribing, Soujiro entered Kaoru's room to check her status. "Kamiya-san, are you still upset?"
"What?" her hands shuffled around the things she had spread across her. "I've been busy. What is it that you want?"
"They want me to talk to you. Especially Himura-san." he added.
"What of? I'm not upset. Why should he upset me? I don't care about him."
"Kamiya-san?"
"Yes?"
"If you're not upset, then why are your eyes all red?"
"Huh? Oh, I caught something in my eye."
"You know I wouldn't tell them..."
"Really?" Soujiro nodded. After that, it all came out of Kaoru like a dam.
"That prick! How dare he think we were doing something wrong? I mean, I was trying to be nice to him already and that is how he repays me! What nerves! Does he even know how hard everything is for me?"
Soujiro could just nod. "But he did trust us enough to leave us... we should be thankful."
"Well...I guess. But, he's still a prick."
"Would you forgive him if he just apologized?"
Kaoru pouted and sat stiffly. "I don't know."
"Are you still angry?"
"I don't know."
"Himura-san thought you might be hungry. Even if you don't want to see him, you should eat." From out of nowhere, Soujiro procured some rabbit shaped rice balls. "Here. I guess he's sorry." Then he left.
Kaoru picked up one rice ball and thought to herself that Kenshin must think she's childish. Well, after what she's done, she thought, 'maybe a little...'
The next day...
Kaoru woke up and quickly got dressed. She hurried to the kitchen and saw Soujiro there. She looked around the kitchen when Soujiro asked her something "Looking for someone, Kamiya-san?" Kaoru shook his head. "I was just wondering where the others are."
"They all went out today, why do you need something?" Kaoru shook her head again. "We have a lot to do, Kamiya-san. You should eat breakfast now."
"How about you?"
"I already ate." Soujiro smiled as he washed the dishes. He remembered this morning. "Just take care of her. Thank you Soujiro."
'Himura-san, what are you doing?'
Flashback
"Himura-san, don't I need to wake Kamiya -san up?"
"No it's okay Soujiro. Kaoru-dono doesn't like being disturbed when she's sleeping. She could punch on reflex."
"How long will you guys be out, Himura-san?"
"Probably all day. Everybody's busy today. Misao-dono went over to Megumi-san's. She seemed upset about everything."
"Well, then, what does Kamiya-san usually like for lunch?"
"Just don't give her catfish. I gave her one once and she looked so disgusted. And don't even let her boil water, she can't do that. If she wants to help in the kitchen, tell her to prepare the table instead or let her chop the vegetables but look after her because sometimes, she chops the vegetables wrong and can injure herself. Also, if she asks you to prepare her bath, warm the water first. She usually takes it after her training, especially when she's sweaty. Also if she tries to help you while doing laundry, just let her hang the clothes, she seems to like that."
Soujiro listened as he tried to remember everything Kenshin was saying.
"Also, she might want to have tea with you, don't disappoint her.. She might take it the wrong way and punch you. Also, especially when she's really sad, you can cheer her up by making rabbit shaped rice balls. It'll make her smile, I'm sure. When she punches you, even if it doesn't hurt, act like you're hurt. Sometimes you can pretend to be thrown away. Don't worry she'll feel sorry and if there's an injury, she'll fix it willingly. And one last thing sometimes, she takes baths too long, this could be bothering but she likes it that way. Remember to knock before you enter, even if you think she's not there because she's going to get really mad at you and lock you up in a warehouse and also because I'll surely know about it and you know what I could do to you if you did."
"Ok. I got that. Are you sure you don't want to talk to her before leaving?"
"No it's alright, you take care of her."
End of flashback
Kaoru looked around her. The emptiness of the place made her feel unease. Even with Soujiro around, somehow it all felt different. 'What is going on?' she thought, 'One moment, they were watching me like a hawk, the next, they all leave me.' She sighed then blew away some strands of hair going to her face.
'At least, I still have Soujiro to keep me company.' She smiled at the thought. She could not deny that she enjoyed his silent company. His presence gave her a feeling of warmth. She knew not why but, Soujiro seemed to be making her feel nostalgic. Nostalgic for what? She didn't really know.
She shrugged her shoulders and brushed the thought away then followed Soujiro outside. He seemed to be in deep thought.
'I have to do it. For Himura-san's and Kamiya-san's sake...' was the thought running through his head.
Kenshin was working hard. So hard, in fact, that he could almost break his back. Tae has enlisted his help in the kitchen. She had sampled his cooking and thought that it would bring back to the old 'Akabeko feeling', she said. Because of the recent attacks to the said establishment, people have been opting for other places to dine.
Meanwhile, Yahiko was gathering water. Tsubame was behind him. Kenshin watched this scene of young love blooming with a tinge of jealousy. He felt envy for their happiness and contentment. He had the idea that happiness was not meant for him. For him, happiness was almost something he could never reach. It would come close to his grasp but then it will slip away.
'Just like Kaoru.' the thought rushed through him and shrouded all others. Once he gets started on thinking about her, he could not stop. It was always about the raven-haired tanuki he loves.
He stared listlessly, the knife held on one hand. He remembered their argument. So unlike of them to be fighting. So unlikely that he would feel jealousy.
But the truth was, he had been hiding bits of jealousy even before Kaoru lost her memories. He felt jealous of Yahiko because he could tease Kaoru effortlessly, be with her all afternoon when she used to train him, that Kaoru's always worrying about him and that he could make Kaoru proud.
He was jealous of Sano and his camaraderie with Kaoru. Kaoru showed patience to the gambler even though he was a freeloader and would always borrow money. He wished he could be so at ease with her, to say everything he wanted to say.
Unbelievably, he felt jealous of Megumi and Misao too. They kept Kaoru's secrets. They were her confidants in matters she could never tell him.
Yes, he has always been jealous. Yesterday was but a demonstration of his locked up envy. But he had hurt her. He accused her of things, though, he knew deep inside that they were not true. In the end, he let the Battousai prevail and had hurt her.
Perhaps, that was why he accepted this job without hesitation. It wasn't all about the money. It was a sort of penance, a punishment. He denies himself the pleasure of seeing her. Maybe he was just afraid that she hates him.
He recalled that time when they first saw Soujiro. Before that, Kaoru said something happened near the cherry tree. Kaoru had been showing more and more signs of her memories being recalled.
He gasped. He had an idea. He knew what to do.
Misao was at the clinic with Megumi. They were there for some much needed talk.
"Tell me you're kidding, Misao."
"No." was the uncharacteristically short answer of the girl in front of her. "I've already made my decision. I can't take it anymore. I can't look at either Kenshin or Kaoru! Things have been growing from bad to worse. Can't they just give it a rest?"
"But, that's no reason for you to leave so soon."
"I've been away long enough. I have responsibilities too at the Oniwabanshu, you know."
"You can't. Especially now, you know Kaoru needs all the help she can get."
"What's the use if she doesn't want any. What are we? Backdrops to their sad story?" Misao looked away from Megumi. She couldn't believe she was saying these things.
"You know, that isn't like you, Misao." Megumi answered while serenely, she stared at Misao who was gazing away from her.
Misao sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that everything was so frustrating. Why can't Kaoru's memories come back quicker. I think Aoshi-sama thinks that she will be alright. Why else would he have left?"
"Ah, I see, it's because you miss him, don't you? I can't believe this. And I thought for one moment, by some miracle, that you have stopped obsessing over him."
"It's not like that!" Misao countered, blushing to the roots of her hair.
"Why not a letter?"
"As if he'll read it." she grumbled.
"At least he could pretend that he had."
Misao looked down. "Am I that transparent?" Megumi nodded.
Kaoru was enjoying every bit of her afternoon with Soujiro. So far, he had prepared her bath, cooked her meal, and talked to her all without a slip. He had done everything to make her feel happy.
She was hanging the clothes while Soujiro continued washing. There was nothing but the silence and their smiles.
"Himura-san was right. You enjoy these things." Soujiro commented out of nothing else to say.
At Soujiro's comment, Kaoru's curiosity was tickled and she asked, without facing Soujiro what else did the red head say about her.
Soujiro said as much as he could recall everything that Kenshin had told him that morning. "... and that I should knock first before I enter the bathroom regardless if I think that you are not there. All because you would throw me into a warehouse and that he has a punishment of his own prepared for me when I do walk in on you."
Kaoru stood still, her back still facing him. She bowed her head a bit as tears threatened to fall. Why was she crying? Was she guilty because she knew full well about her ill treatment of the rurouni when all he wanted was to take care of her? She sighed and smiled at the thought. 'That idiot's probably punishing himself about yesterday...'
She smiled then turned towards Soujiro, her smile faded away at what she saw. She took one gulp at the sight. The sun was behind Soujiro and was creating a silhouette. His hair looked as if it was on fire. RED HAIR. She was seeing red hair... someone with red hair washing clothes and smiling at her.
It was like she was moved back in time. She could almost see Kenshin there. Her knees grew weak as a splitting headache came. Soujiro came to her aid and rubbed at her back. She looked at his face but she couldn't see Soujiro. She was seeing someone else. She could not hear what he was saying. Everything was a blur as she felt her breaths come short. She saw Kenshin, he was holding her. He was asking her if she was alright. He was picking her up and laying her down...
Kaoru woke up in a room full of worried faces. But the face she had wanted to see was not there. She didn't know but, there was a deep feeling of pain in her heart. Misao came to her first,
"Are you alright, Kaoru? Soujiro said you fainted. It must be the heat, summer's coming soon."
Megumi stopped Misao from her babbling and acted the professional. "You seem to be fine. Were you sick this morning."
Kaoru shook her head. "Just a headache this afternoon." Megumi nodded then turned towards Soujiro. "Has she been doing anything strenuous this morning? She must be so tired, look, she's as pale as death!"
"No, we were just hanging the clothes when it happened."
"Have you been skipping meals?" Kaoru shook her head. Megumi had on a sly smile when she surprised everybody by saying, "Well, you're not going to tell me you're pregnant, right?"
At that, Kaoru shook her head furiously. Misao's eyes bulged, Soujiro turned red and with a quick move, Sano kicked Yahiko out of the room. Megumi laughed. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, there's nothing wrong with you." Then Megumi had on a serious glint in her eyes as she stared at Kaoru's face. She was in deep thought. 'Could it be true?'
Everybody felt silent as Megumi stopped her teasing and looked serious. 'Could it be that her memories are all coming back?'. She just stood up without a word and bid them goodbye and told Kaoru to get plenty of rest.
The silence was broken when Soujiro asked "Where is Himura-san, by the way?"
Everybody felt silent and nobody answered. Suddenly, Kaoru felt like her heart was breaking.
It was nighttime when Kaoru awoke again. As she looked around, all that she could see was darkness. Her stomach grumbled as she surrendered herself on grabbing some snacks. She founds some rice balls, which she ate greedily. Strange, having leftovers was a rare occasion at the Kamiya dojo.
She shrugged her shoulders and went on eating. The cold night air hit her yukata-clad body as she went outside. She walked past Soujiro's room then Misao's then the noisiest room of all, Yahiko and Sano's. It is a wonder how their neighbors get some sleep with Yahiko's and Sano's snores reverberating through the entire place.
She did not hear any sound from Kenshin's room, however. It even seemed to be empty. She went near the door, trying to hear anything but there was nothing. Finally, she was sure that the room was empty. Kaoru became confused once again as she felt an inexplicable fear at the thought of Kenshin going away.
'If he goes, it's my fault.'
Without further ado, she went out not minding to put a coat over her clothes. She found no one. Her footsteps led her and finally she found whom she was searching for. By the light of the full moon, she saw Kenshin walking around near a cherry tree. She only watched him as he crouched here and there then walking around.
When, at last, the rurouni felt her presence he stopped. She slipped into the light so that he could see her.
"Kaoru-dono? What are you doing outside clad only in your sleeping garments? You have to go inside, Megumi-dono told me you were sick!"
"Ummm... I was just going out for a stroll." She answered meekly as she pulled her clothes tighter around her.
"You should've at least worn a coat. If you catch a cold-"
"Kenshin! could you please shut up for a moment and let me do the talking!"
Kenshin quickly stopped her long line of reprimands and for some reason hid his hands behind his back.
"How about you, Kenshin? What are you doing outside so late at night?" before he could answer, Kaoru already cut in.
"And don't tell me that you came out for the same reason I had because I saw you crouching around and that is no stroll."
Kenshin laughed a husky laugh that made shivers run down Kaoru's spine.
"I wasn't going to lie to you ,Kaoru" he said, intentionally leaving out the honorific.
"So, why were you out?" Kaoru said uneasily while she stared at her toes, not knowing that at every passing moment, Kenshin only loved her more and more.
"I was out gathering a gift..."
"Gift? What gift? Grass?"
Kenshin laughed at her question. Kaoru was just not used to seeing Kenshin this way. He shook his head, still smiling.
"I was gathering a special surprise for someone I was mean to yesterday."
Kaoru didn't say anything as Kenshin came closer to her. He was staring down at her when he brought out a jar in front of Kaoru.
It looked like an ordinary jar but when Kenshin opened it, several fireflies came out. Soon the tiny lights were surrounding both of them. Kaoru stared with marvel at the beautiful things while Kenshin stared at a whole other kind of beauty.
"I was gathering fireflies when you came. I wanted to surprise you."
Kaoru felt so happy that she twirled around the place and tried catching some of the fireflies. She didn't mind the state of her clothes.
"Kenshin! It's beautiful!" at that moment, Kenshin became daring enough to come even closer to her. He had the courage to touch her face and Kaoru could only lean into his touch.
"I'm glad you're happy about it. You said before that you felt something happened here. Can you tell me what it was? Because, I know, something did happen here."
"I feel sad when I try to think about it." Kaoru said, closing her eyes. "But it has something to do with you." She couldn't help herself. She leaned to his chest, enjoying the warmth. Kenshin happily put his arms around her.
"One night, just like tonight, I said goodbye to you on this very spot."
Kaoru closed her eyes as she tried to remember. "You were crying, I made you cry. I'm sorry."
"But you had to go..." Kaoru answered. "I can't keep you with me, you had to go." Tears ran down her cheeks as memories were flooding through her mind. She looked at the fireflies and it seemed to make her weep even more.
"I shouted at you yesterday, I'm sorry. I couldn't help my feelings. I'm sorry." Kaoru shook her head, "I was mean to you too, Kenshin. I'm so sorry. I was so confused."
Kenshin held her tighter and shushed her. "It was nobody's fault."
Kaoru moved her face a bit in order to look at him. "Please don't let all of this be just a dream..."
"No, it's not, Kaoru. Tonight is real. I love you."
Kaoru wanted to weep because she still could not remember everything. But one thing she knew, she has never felt so happy.
Kenshin inched his face closer and Kaoru knew exactly what he was going to do. She looked down demurely. She felt his lips graze hers and she could not help but feel the warmth. She smiled as he planted another soft kiss. Kenshin, realizing she was liking what he was doing continued kissing her on her face. He took her hands in his own and kissed them.
Kaoru lightly tapped his cheek in what was supposed to be a slap. Kenshin smiled as he stopped. Kaoru came to cuddle closer. "I'm ready, Kenshin. I want everything."
"Ororororororo!" Kenshin was too shocked to say anything else.
Kaoru lightly slapped him again, "What I mean is I'm ready to remember everything. Will you help me?"
Kenshin only smiled and held her tighter, planting kissed on her face and finally found her lips. Kaoru could only oblige.
LETTER OF EXCUSE/APOLOGY/PLEA/STATEMENT.
Okay, you might want to know what's going on. Why can't I write more quickly. OMG, It takes almost a month to write each chapter. (How bad can I be?) The reasons are:
1.School. C'mon! Do you really want a picture! Imagine, you just turned 16, you're really anxious about graduation and your College entrance test results especially if it's a school you really want to get into, You need to finish your thesis, polish up reports, sweep off quizzes, understand physics and derivatives, you hate calculus, your business proposal sucked (we have a subject where we build a business thingy and run it, to find out if it's feasible or not, fun eh!), join an essay writing contest to escape an oration contest. Is life really worth living with all this mess!
2. School paper. We went to a contest and stayed there for a week. There were NO COMPUTERS, NO MALLS, just lots of fellow young journalists and really noisy people that you could NEVER EVER think when you're with. Oh what the hell, I was with a special person (wink! wink!) on this contest! You get to see him when he wakes up, sleep (doesn't snore). He dresses funny when he sleeps. Hmmmm... okay back to the real world!
3. Disasters. Due to calamities, things have been postponed again and again and again and again.
4. I'm an emotional wreck. Major confusion (sometimes I think my hormones are unbalanced) that kept me writing mellow poems and dumb prose or whatever. The prom just ended and I realized that Aidenn (my secret name for my secret special secret someone) looked good with glasses and that one of my friends (two of them actually) have got the hots for him! Check out this site! You could find some of my stupid poems here! www.poewriters. Writer's block. Can you believe that this story was originally going to be 20 chapters long? The ending sucked and I had to redo chapters. Also a note about the PREVIOUS CHAPTER, Kenshin and Kaoru wasn't supposed to fight. Argh! I typed the wrong thing. There were two copies of that chapter, one, they fight, two, they don't. I realized it about a week later when I found the manuscript lying around in my room! But I can't change that now, can I? What was I thinking?
6. Health. My health status isn't exactly the best. I'm insomniac, has depression tendencies, stressed out, I get sick every now and then, I don't breathe normally, also, I'm accident prone, I'm one of the clumsiest people alive!
7. Technical problems. If you haven't experienced these kind of problems, well, Lucky you! I lost Kicham including my one and only picture of Alexei Romanov. TT. So, I have to use the computer at the living room. This means, I'll have to share it with everybody else and there's less privacy.
8. Other stories. When I have writer's block about THIS story. I begin thinking about OTHER stories. You might want to look out for these to see how much I suffer: ALL ARE K/K PAIRING!
CHOOSE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SO I WOULD KNOW WHERE TO CONCENTRATE.
a. BRIGHT LIGHTS: A/U, set in the music scene. Currently 2 chapters
b. COOKIES OR SUNDAES: A/U, It's about making the toughest decisions and enjoying the circumstances without looking back and thinking what could've been.
c. PRECIOUS ILLUSIONS:A/U Kaoru has always helped Kenshin out with Tomoe. But when something happens that drives Kaoru and her adoptive family, the Yukishiros to migrate. Kenshin's heart is broken. And when Kaoru comes back after many years, Kenshin realizes what he hasn't noticed before.
d. YOU NEVER KNOW: A/U Kenshin makes the biggest mistake of his life driving away his pregnant wife, Kaoru. After losing her, regret surfaces and he begins to search for her and their son.
e. LIVING THE LIFE OF ANOTHER: slight A/U Kenshin has finally settled everything. But then something happens to him. In the morning, he woke up in present day Tokyo! But where's Kaoru? Apparently, Kaoru, in the modern times is an environmentalist who detests zone developer, Kenshin Himura! What about the Kaoru of the Meiji Era? How would she react to the changes happening to the Kenshin she knew? Most important of all, how could Kenshin the wanderer come back to the Meiji era before Modern Kenshin exposes Kaoru to all sorts of stuff not acceptable in ancient times
f. WISHING YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: A/U Sequel to Living the Life of another... summary is confidential as of now.
g. OUR OWN GHOSTS: A time the Kenshin-gumi begun to wonder what Kaoru's past was like aside from the dead-father story. It takes a while for Kaoru to open up until Kenshin saw a ghost of a man walking beside Kaoru. Who was that man? When Kenshin asked Kaoru, she broke into tears and asked "How can you see him when I don't?" Other characters besides Kenshin and Kaoru are rarely seen in this story. It is purely a private story between the two of them.
NOW YOU SEE? I'M NOT WASTING MY TIME. Writing relieves me from depression. I have a tendency to break down under pressure. So forgive me if I always delay. I'm striving! TTTT