Hermione hurried through the halls. She'd been getting odd looks all day, and why not? She'd pretended to love Malfoy, then slapped him, pretended they were dating, pretended things weren't working out, and then, what, played footsies with him? Things couldn't be any better, she thought sarcastically.

Then she felt a hand grab her arm, near her elbow, and pull her near the wall. It was Malfoy. Clearly things can always get worse.

"What?" She asks in her most innocent voice.

Malfoy's eyes flashed. He wasn't smirking, and he looked as if he wanted to kill her. Wanted to kill her more than usual. "You told your little Gryffindor friends we're together?" He spat out, and Hermione could just picture him as a snake spitting venom.

Hermione looked surprised, but she knew it would have to happen sooner or later. "They saw us, that one time, outside."

Malfoy glanced behind him. Luckily, most of the students ignored them and continued on their way. "Who did?"

"A few of my little Gryffindor friends," she replied sarcastically.

"I'll kill you."

"They asked me. I made something up. I've even got Harry and Ron fooled…" Hermione trailed off. "But you do you care? You'll kill me either way." But at the mention of Harry Potter's and Ron Weasley's names, Malfoy's ears had perked up.

"Fooling Potter, huh?" He asked slowly, smirking once again.

"You're not going to kill me," Hermione stated, mildly relieved.

"No. This could be…" He paused, searching for the right word. "Very amusing."

Hermione feigned shock. "But what will your pureblooded Slytherin friends say?"

"That," he said pointedly, "Will be the less than amusing point."

"True."

"So…."

"So what?"

"Where to start?"

"I thought you were the mastermind behind all this." Hermione said, becoming increasingly aware of her spot against the wall. Everyone had dispersed, drifting away for lunch.

"I am….First off, what have you told everyone?"

"I only told a few people…" Hermione replied, defensively. He waved it off with his hand. So Hermione recounted everything she'd told Lavender and Parvati.

"So either I'm the naughty boyfriend and I do horrible things to you during play practice, or I'm the nice boyfriend and I abide by your wishes."

"I'd much prefer the latter."

"Too bad. Naughty fits me better."

You've got that right, Hermione thought to herself, eyes scrolling over his body. She chided herself quickly though, remembering hat this was still Malfoy, and it was all pretend.

"What did you tell Potter and Weasley?"

Hermione blushed slightly, and, unfortunately for her, Malfoy noticed.

"What was it, Granger?"

"They asked how I could, because you're Malfoy," she was about to continue, but Malfoy interrupted.

"How perceptive of you," he cut in wryly.

Hermione grinned. "That's what I said. Anyways, I told them I knew who you were, but you were so sweet and brought me flowers and spelled out nice things with chocolates, and-" Hermione stopped suddenly, remembering the rest of what she'd said.

"And?" He prompted.

"Nothing," she replied, a little too quickly.

"Uh-huh. That's entirely believable."

"I said," Hermione replied, becoming suddenly determined, "That you had a particular way of putting your tongue in my mouth. And that was as far as I got, because they both cut me off with their gagging." Malfoy was smirking, and Hermione longed to back away.

"Well…." He said, the smirk growing ever larger, a feat which Hermione had thought impossible. "I could make that truth."

"Chocolates and everything?" Hermione asked hopefully.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Hannah Abbot saw a pig go flying by her window.

The ground suddenly became very hard underneath a Ravenclaw's feet, because hell was freezing over.

A man somewhere in Greece ran down the street, screaming, very loudly, "The End is Near! No, Wait! It's here!"

Draco Malfoy laughed. And all Hermione could think about was how cute he looked. Not like the sexy, gorgeous hunk of a git she knew him to be. But cute. Charming, even.

"Chocolates and everything," he said, before capturing her in a kiss to end all kisses. And his tongue fit just right. "Though," he said, after they'd stopped kissing, "I don't know what flavours you like."

"Well, then," Hermione replied mischievously, "You'll just have to spend a little more time with me."

"I guess so," he said, before capturing her in another kiss. Hermione was incredibly grateful for the lack of students in the hallway, and incredibly grateful for the tight clasps on her robes. Really, at that point, neither of them could be trusted.

"You two really go well together," Lavender said, once again bounding into Hermione's room.

"Pardon?"

"That kiss."

"Kisses," Parvati corrected pointedly.

"Oh," said Hermione faintly.

"It was Malfoy. I mean, at first we didn't believe you, thought that it was maybe just a fantasy or something, but today in the halls e saw you and I couldn't believe it, honestly Hermione…."

"You can't being to imagine how many girls want to be you right now, I mean, after we told them…." They shot each other guilty glances. Fortunately for them, Hermione wasn't paying attention. She was looking at the black eagle owl tapping on her windowsill, a small box tied to its claws.

Dear Hermione, It read.

You Gryffindors may be brave, but your nosiness beats it all. I was molested, (pardon the pun,) with questions from my fellow Slytherins. It seems those two flower girls of yours have been spreading rumours. Though, I suppose they're not really rumours anymore, are they?

Your devilishly handsome, sexy, debonair boyfriend,

Draco Malfoy (Or Stud-muffin, as the rumours say you refer to me as. Do you really? Because I could call you Peaches.)

Hermione stifled laughter as Lavender and Parvati reached for the letter.

"A Parvati is not a flower," Parvati huffed.

"Oh, hush," Lavender replied excitedly, turning back to the parchment in front of her.

"Why is boyfriend underlined?" Parvati asked.

Hermione put on a dreamy smile. "Because, it just is….I guess it's an inside joke, almost."

The two girls squealed together. "That's so cute!" They exclaimed.

Hermione forced a smile. "I suppose." The reason her smile was forced was because she could see someone at her window. Draco Malfoy was going to become a nuisance.

"Parvati, Lavender, could you go spread rumours somewhere else?" They nodded, and ran out of the room, talking excitedly. Hermione quickly shut and locked the door behind them. Picking up the parchment from the bed, she crossed to the open window.

"What are you doing here?" She asked to the boy hovering on his broom.

"Why, that's a terribly silly question. I've come to see you, Peaches."

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Stud Muffin. How far are we going to let this go?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"You, me, us…"

"Cut the crap."

"Right. I forgot, it's utterly impossibly to toy with your mind," he rolled his eyes.

"It is."

"Uh-huh," he replied, unconvinced.

"Would you stop hovering?" She asked, clearly exasperated and eager to change the subject.

"Would you have me come in then?"

"No. I'd much rather you fell."

"I always loved flirting with you this way, sugar plum."

"That may be laying it on a little thick, don't you think?"

"I knew the terms 'thick' and 'lay' would have to come into our conversations sooner rather than later."

"Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Or you could join me down here."

"Rather not."

"I'm so sure."

"Back to our original topic…"

"Which was about sex, I believe."

Hermione blushed. Definitely not something I thought I'd be discussing with Draco Malfoy, she thought, trying to stop her embarrassment.

"No, I don't think it was."

"I believe the words lay and thick were mentioned."

"And…?"

"And you may be innocent, but you're not that innocent."

"Watch me."

"Gladly. Are you going to perform?"

She glared at him. He flew closer to the windowsill, and stepped inside. Out of his robes he pulled a yellow rose.

"That was unexpected," she said, taking it.

"Seemed like the….Opportune moment," he replied.

She smiled up at him, though she hated the height difference. Made her feel small and delicate, which wasn't something she liked to feel .Unless Draco Malfoy was kissing her like he was.

He moved her backwards, closer and closer to the bed. She broke apart from him as someone knocked on the door.

"This is the part where I hide in the closet, isn't it?" He whispered, smirking again. Hermione nodded, and straightened her clothes. She took a glance at the bed. Hopefully whoever it was wouldn't be too perceptive.

It was Harry. "Yes?" She asked, trying to block his view of her bed and closet at the same time. He peered around her, though discreetly.

"I, uh, wondered where you were at lunch."

Hermione fished for a plausible lie. "Studying. In the library."

Harry looked puzzled. "We checked the library."

"Oh. Right, sorry. Today I was in an abandoned class room. Quieter."

"Than the library?" He asked, looking even more skeptical than before.

"Yes."

"You weren't…." He looked disgusted again. "Spending time with Malfoy?"

"No," Hermione said, but she could feel the blush creeping up on her.

"OK, well then. Are you going to come down for dinner?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes. After I….Finish this book I'm reading."

"OK." Harry said, giving her a strange look and walking back down the stairs. Hermione sighed, and went back to sit on the bed.

"I thought you told them?" Malfoy said, emerging from the closet.

"I did, it's just-" She sighed again, and he sat down beside her. "I can kiss you for the sake of the stunt, but I can't kiss you because I want to."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense."

"You have girls falling all over you, all the time." Hermione replied, tears beginning to form. "Not that I watch you. And I don't. A boyfriend is supposed to be something special. A first kiss is supposed to be special, but you took that. And my second, and my third, and my fourth. So there's no way to back track and pretend it never happened. I can't have my first real boyfriend be someone who I hate and who hates me. It was fun, at first, pretending, everyone's faces, even the rumours are funny. But it's not pretend when I'm kissing you back, just because I want to, not for a game we're playing." She sighed once more, and brushed the tears off with her pillow.

Malfoy stared at her. That much pent up emotion was something he hadn't been ready for. He opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione had one last thing to add.

"And I'm just another of your many girls. Play toys, or whatever you want to call them."

"I'm sorry."

"You're what?" She said, looking at him amazed. He leaned forward, and brushed the next wave of tears from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was your….First time. For everything."

"Think of the sexual implications of that."

Malfoy smirked. "You said it, not me."

And then he kissed her again. And she found herself kissing him back, though she didn't know why. Needless to say, Hermione didn't make it to dinner either.

A/N: Please review. I spent a few hours on this, literally, and I'd really appreciate if I could get your feedback. Even negative, but please, if there's something you don't like, tell me what it is. Don't just say you hated it.