Hermione sat on her bed, elbows on knees, head in hands, shoulders shaking silently. It was a sight Malfoy was very surprised to see when he flew up to her window. Tapping it open slightly and slightly gently on the window sill, he peered at her.

"Granger? What's up with you?" He asked, not wanting to be too nice.

Hermione looked up, and instead of the tear-streaked face he'd been expecting, she was laughing. "Oh God, Malfoy that was the funniest thing…"

He smiled. "I know. I'm genius aren't I?"

"But just the "Always thinking about my-' Honestly, I was trying so hard not to laugh."

"But that would have blown it."

"Speaking of blowing it…"

"As I was saying about you always thinking about my-"

"And as I was saying about you being a vain pervert…."

"You've never said that."

"I've been thinking it."

"Right then. So what were you going to say?"

"What was with that kiss?"

"You liked it?"

"Oh contraire, Draco Dearest. That messed everything up."

"Your French is horrible."

"That's beside the point."

"Actually, I believe it is the point-"

"And I believe you're trying to change the subject."

"Well….Maybe."

"Uh-huh. So, why would you kiss me? It was going perfectly…"

"It was not! You were about to scream out at all those people that I couldn't get an erection!"

Hermione smirked.

"And now you're stealing my smirk!" Yelled Malfoy, seemingly in hysterics.

"I'm not stealing your smirk!"

"Yes you are! Clearly you've been around me too long!"

"Clearly I have!" Hermione yelled back at him, getting up from her spot on the bed to stand face-to-face.

Malfoy blinked down at her. "Why would you say that?" He asked feebly, clearly curious.

"Because I know that the best way to shut you up is to do this…." She said, planting her lips firmly on his. His arms quickly snaked around to the small of her back, and Hermione smirked once again. This time, however, Malfoy was too busy to notice.

As you can imagine, the Great Hall was abuzz with the breakup that had ended in a very confusing way. Due to the fact that both of the two had promptly disappeared soon afterwards, many were trying to piece together as much of the story as they could.

Hermione's closest friends were holding an impromptu meeting in one corner of the Great Hall.

"Did you hear?" Parvati squealed eagerly.

"It's kind of hard not to," Ginny retorted, turning to Harry and Ron. "What do you guys know about all this?"

"I bet we know more than they do!" Lavender broke in, using an incredibly high-pitched voice.

"Wonderful Lavender. Can you give us a few moments?" Harry asked, flashing them his best smile. They nodded, giggling, and ran off to talk to a few more of the speculating Gryffindors.

"I know she was apparently dating him," Ron began.

"Yeah, that's what all the girls were saying," Ginny replied, nodding.

"And we know that she really seemed to like him," Ron added.

"But I think there's something strange about all this." Harry spoke quietly, looking thoughtful.

"What do you mean Harry?"

"She just….Doesn't seem to really like him."

"What are you talking about? You remember what she was saying that day we went in to talk to her, right?" Ron exclaimed, maybe a little too loudly.

"Yes," Harry replied grimacing. "But it seemed sort of…Falsified."

"Well, I can tell you that she certainly never looks pregnant." Ginny said, trying to be helpful.

"Can we not go there?" Ron asked, looking nauseas.

"I think maybe we better talk to Parvati and Lavender."

"For once," Harry replied, "I'd have to agree."

"Lavender!"

"Harry!"

"Parvati!"

"Harry!"

"Right," said Ginny in an annoyed tone. "Now that we've established that we know each other…."

"You jealous girl?" Lavender said, in her best tough accent.

"Of what?" Ginny replied, standing face-to-face with the slightly taller girl. "Harry knows my name too, isn't that funny? In fact, he sometimes shouts it when-"

"Gin," Harry broke in hurriedly, casting furtive glances and thanking God that Ron wasn't too quick in his realizations. "We don't need to go there." He was mortified, partly because Ginny was supposed to not say anything, and partly because Lavender and Parvati were far more perceptive than Ron. He sighed, but turned to the girls.

"We need to know what you know about Hermione and Malfoy," Ron said, trying not to cast Harry odd glances.

"Well…"

"There's an awful lot…"

"We have time," Ginny said, irritated once again.

Lavender glared at her. "We know she's been pregnant, several times in fact, and that she's found a spell to prevent her from actually showing signs of pregnancy or actually having to give birth." The three friends cast each other nervous glances. It really didn't sound like Hermione. "We know that she and Malfoy were breaking up today, but the way it turned out, we believe that it was a cover-up to hide their suddenly public relationship."

"You really need to get lives…" Ginny muttered while Harry thanked the girls.

"What do we do?"

"Talk to Hermione."

"What if she's with Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"Then," Ginny replied sweetly, "We ask them both."

"This could get very interesting…" Harry said as they walked off.

Meanwhile, the Slytherins were having their own council.

"With the Mudblood?"

"Malfoy?"

"Drakie Poo?" All eyes turned to Pansy, who blushed a deep crimson and hung her head.

"Don't ever use that name around me again," Blaise warned.

"I feel sick," came the witty response of another boy in the crowd.

"I think," Blaise began, trying to gather order, "That we need to talk to Malfoy."

"I think," said Devon Pyth, "That you may be right."

"Do we have to talk to him, per say?"

"No," replied Blaise, faking thoughtfulness, "I believe there are other methods to get the information we need."

"Well, yes," came the same wise-ass from the back, "But you don't really want to know what the Mudblood's like in bed, do you Blaise?"

"Oh, shut it," Blaise responded bitterly as the group laughed.

Hermione pulled away from Malfoy.

"Stop avoiding the question!"

"You kissed me!"

"Stop being so God-damned irresistible!"

"You think I'm irresistible?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I take it back."

"Uh-huh…"

"Why did you kiss me down there? We were trying to break up, and you gave everyone the wrong idea! And I hate kissing in public."

"You've kissed people before me?"

"Oh, shut up Malfoy, and answer the question."

"I just…Wanted to kiss you."

"You've really got to stop giving in to your manly urges."

"Manly urges, huh?"

"Something like that. Can't you tell I'm not happy with you right now?"

"No. I've never been much of a ladies man."

"Sarcasm is most definitely not appreciated."

"Look. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"It's not that easy."

"Try it."

"You've got to stop doing this! Anyone else would have made me mad enough that I'd have hit them, or yelled, or generally lost it by now!"

"But…?"

"But you're not, and I don't know why! And that in it's self is beginning to piss me off!"

"If I'd have known you had such a potty-mouth…"

"Get over it."

"The Gryffindors will want to talk to you."

"The Slytherins will have far more to say to you."

"Except Slytherins don't just say things, you see."

"Hmmm….So what do we do?"

"We?"

"Yes. Us. Together."

"There's an us now?"

"Should there be?"

"There you go with my smirk again!"

"Must be from being permanently attached to your lips."

Draco was too shocked to say anything for a moment, and Hermione continued smirking. There was a knock at the door. Hermione sighed, rolled her eyes, and ushered Draco out the window.

"Just a moment!" Hermione said, trying to be as casual as possible.

"Hermione, if Malfoy's in there, don't let him hide or leave. We need to talk to both of you!" Came Ginny's response.

"Not that we particularly want to…" Ron added.

"Oh, shut it," came his younger sister's curt reply.

"All right," Hermione said tiredly, motioning for Draco to re-enter the room. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"You'd be correct in that respect," Harry said as she opened the door.

Hermione turned to look at Draco. "Let the interrogation begin."