Chapter 1

Yanah sat on her favourite spot on the couch in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. The silence surrounding her was heavy. The sound of her crumpling yet another piece of parchment broke through the silence. It was no use. It was the umpteenth time she'd tried to start with her potions essay. But she couldn't concentrate. Angrily she wiped another tear of her cheek and mumbled under her breathe: "I bet everyone is having a good time…"

Tonight there was a ball at Hogwarts. And that was really rare. With all the things going on in the outside world, the students deserved a little break and so they had organised a ball at Halloween. They were safe at Hogwarts, but most of them worried about their family now that Voldemort was growing stronger than ever. So did Yanah, but there also was another burden weighing on her heart …

"I should've taken someone's invitation… But no, I had to wait for him," Yanah whispered.

Yanah had gotten lots of invitations to go to the ball, weeks beforehand. Which had surprised her because she was new at Hogwarts. But she had taken a liking in Harry and she was sure he liked her too. So she had waited for him to ask her. Only, he hadn't. And then it was too late. She refused to go alone. Hermione had offered that she'd go with her and Ron, but Yanah didn't want to be the fifth wheel on the wagon. It was obvious they liked each other, and who was she to intrude. Maybe tonight was the night that they were finally ready to admit it to each other and she would only be in the way…

In the previous two months Yanah had spent much time with Harry, Ron and Hermione. At first it didn't seem like Hermione would be her friend, but she'd come round and now they were the best of friends. They shared a room in the dormitory and a lot of interests so it seemed, reading being one of them. They enjoyed always knowing better than Ron and Harry. And the boys loved asking the girls for help cause it had never been more important than now. They were in their final year. Harry needed to pass Potions if he wanted to become an Auror and Snape was giving him a harder time than ever. He needed all the help he could get.

But something had become different in the friendship. Not only cause of the adding of Yanah to their little group or them no longer being underage wizards and witches. The friendship itself was different. Yet, none of them could really put their finger at what exactly had changed until this moment. Now, Yanah knew what had changed. She had noticed quite quickly when she joined the friendly trio that there was something between Ron and Hermione, and that they weren't ready to admit it. But quite recently she had discovered that she felt more than friendship for Harry. So four good friends were becoming two romantic couples. At least, that's what she thought. She had spend a lot of time with Harry, helping him with his homework and practicing Quidditch (cause she made the Gryffindor team). At first Hermione had been a little jealous cause helping Harry with his homework had been her job for years and she didn't like it that there was someone new that actually matched her intelligence. But as they became friends she quickly accepted it and of course she noticed that Yanah and Harry liked each other.

Both Yanah and Hermione had been sure Harry would ask Yanah to the ball. A week before the ball, when the first snow had fallen, they were outside on the grounds throwing snow balls at each other. Harry had tackled Yanah and they had fallen backwards in the snow, Harry on top of Yanah. For a moment she'd thought he would kiss her. But he hadn't. He'd gotten this confused look on his face and scrambled to his feet. After that, he seemed to avoid Yanah. And when they'd gotten this horrible Potions essay he hadn't asked her for help.

The day before the ball, Yanah's hopes dropped and she realized she'd been a fool. He would not ask her. And it had hurt. She then realized she liked him more than she'd thought. She had fallen in love. And it turned out to be hopeless.

And now she was sitting here, trying to start the dreadful essay. But the words wouldn't come. She remembered Hermione's happy face as she had dressed up, getting ready for the ball. She would've given anything for a little happiness right now. This had been an awful year, and Harry's rejection didn't help at all.

Yanah sighed and crumpled another piece of parchment because it got wet from her tears. The floor and couch surrounding her was full of parchment pellets. As she put her quill to the next piece she heard the painting open and footsteps coming towards her. She didn't have to look over her shoulder to know who it was. Apparently he'd been outside on the grounds the whole evening.

"Yanah…" said a voice. He sounded surprised to find her there which made Yanah role her eyes. "Why aren't you at the ball?" continued the voice.

"I was waiting for a certain someone to ask me, but he didn't," she replied in truth. She didn't mean to sound harsh but as guys weren't that clever, he had to catch it that she was talking about him.

"Oh." Was the poor response she got. She already had her mouth open to respond when Harry continued: "but you got lots of invitations… I mean… I've heard that at least 5 guys asked you. Including Seamus and Ernie."

"Yeah, so? Maybe I just didn't feel like going. What's it to you anyway…" Yanah replied. She had enough of this. She didn't want to look at Harry and scribbled down the essay title for the umpteenth time.

Harry just stood there. Staring at her. He didn't know what to say. She had had at least 10 invitations to go to the ball from all four houses, so many guys to choose from but she had waited for him. He now realized that he'd hurt her. He didn't want to, but he had. Slowly it dawned on him, that she had chosen not to go with anyone else. She'd rather sat here alone then to go to the ball with anyone but him. His heart gave a jolt. She liked him. Like he liked her. And that was what he was afraid of. He felt that he needed to explain.

"Yanah…," he began. He was never good with words. Especially not if he needed to talk to a girl. A girl he liked. A lot.

She looked up at him, and he noticed she had been crying. Once again he felt the urge to have to explain to her why he didn't ask her to the ball and also another feeling. The feeling to comfort her, to hold her, to take away her pain …it confused and scared him to no end.

He took a step closer and dropped on the couch next to her. Keeping his distance of course.

"I wanted to ask you to the ball," he blurted out, "I really did."

She looked at him as if she didn't believe him.

"But you didn't," she said gloomily.

"No, I didn't. I knew you'd gotten all those invitations, so you could go anyway. You didn't need me. I didn't know you were waiting for me. Otherwise I would've told you to accept someone else's invitation." That didn't come out the way he wanted to. He could see he hurt her again. Quickly he continued, he had to make her understand.

"It's not that I don't like you. I do like you, Yanah. Please believe me…"

"How can I? You have been avoiding me for over a week," she interrupted him.

"I know. It's just … " Crap, he didn't know how to say this. He was not used to expressing his feelings.

"It's … I'm dangerous. You… ," he took a breathe and continued, "The people around me… people I love … they … they always get hurt. My parents, Sirius, … I don't want anything to happen to you…" the last sentence spoken in a whisper.

Yanah gawped at him. Did that really mean what she thought it meant? He didn't want anything to happen to her? He didn't want her to come closer cause people he was close to, people he loved got hurt? So…he loved her?

"You… you love me?" she whispered and for a second she thought he hadn't heard her, but then he looked up at her, his bright eyes glowing.

"Yes." Harry's cheeks turned red, but he didn't look away.

Yanah sat up straight and put down her parchment and quill, no longer faking to write.

"But you don't want to be with me anymore? You don't want me to help you anymore?"

"I … it's too dangerous."

"What about Ron and Hermione? They've been near you for years and they are still here, they are your friends. You must like them too. Love them even. How come you haven't told them to stay away if you're so dangerous to be around with?"

"I um… that is different. They …"

"How is that different?"

"They are just friends! Of course I like them, but you are no longer just a friend…I don't want you to die like everyone else I loved, and the best way, the only way to ensure that is to not let you get closer to me," Harry said a bit louder than he intended to.

"Don't you think I ought to have a say in that? I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I don't need you to protect me. And what if I don't want to stay away from you? What if I told you, that you are not the only one Voldemort is after?"

"What do you mean?" Harry was completely lost. That last comment blew him away.

"I mean that I'm not put into Hogwarts in my final year for nothing. I could've easily stayed at my old school. But where would be the safest place for someone on Voldemorts most wanted list? Right under the nose of the one he fears the most. Dumbledore. I've been put here for my own safe keeping. I'm on his list, probably right underneath you, Harry. And I have no idea why. But I am. So you wanting me to stay away from you for that reason, well tough luck, cause it won't make any difference."

He stared at her. He didn't expect that.

"What… you… I don't understand," he stumbled.

"I don't either. No one has told me anything. All I know is that my parents were murdered by Voldemort himself 8 months ago and that they are certain that he'll come after me next. But no one has told me more than that. I'm sure my grandma knows more, but she's not letting me in on it." As she mentioned her parents, her eyes started to fill up with tears, the pain of their loss was still to fresh.

Harry, who noticed the emotions rise, shoved over towards her and put his arm around her shoulders. His determination not to see her anymore was slowly fading. Yanah, who took comfort in this gesture, rested her head on his shoulder as tears came flowing down her face. He let her cry for a little while, he said nothing, he just held her and caressed her shoulder softly.

After a while he asked her: "Your parents… what did they do?"

"I don't really know, we've moved abroad a couple of years ago. They worked for the Ministry, but I never really understood what they did exactly. I've been to several magic schools though. They always kept me in their neighbourhood. I guess… I think they were some kind of spies. Everything they did was top secret," Yanah replied.

"I wonder why they haven't told you anything. There's definitely something going on. If Voldemort has killed your parents in person, they had to have been important to him… And if you are in danger too, you have a right to know. It's always the same with those people. They never tell us anything. Think we're too young. We're no longer under aged for crying out loud!" Harry got worked up.

Yanah put a hand on his knee and sat up, looking him in the eyes.

"I know. We will figure it out. Won't we? You always do. Will you help me?" she looked at him desperately. Before he could answer she continued: "Please don't shut me out. I can make my own decisions, Harry. I can take care of myself. I just …"

Harry slowly bend forward and kissed her softly on the lips. Yanah had her answer. He reconsidered. If he couldn't protect her by keeping her away, he would protect her by keeping her very close.