Phalanx and Firewhisky
After a week of working at NEWT level, Harry was seriously considering leaving school and becoming a travelling minstrel. Every single subject had quadrupled its workload, as well as becoming several times harder. Despite his natural prowess at the subject, Harry was even finding Defence Against the Dark Arts a strain; and had grudgingly decided to use the homework diary that Hermione had given him the previous Christmas, just to keep on top of things.
"Hi Harry."
"Hi," replied Harry, unthinkingly, as he hurried up the stairs, desperately trying to remember which class he had next. He stopped mid-step and turned round.
"Sally?"
She gave him a little wave.
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, walking back down towards her.
Sally shrugged. "I got bored, so I decided to have a look around the school."
Harry shook his head. "You shouldn't just go off on your own, you could get lost."
"I did."
"What? What happened? Are you okay, did you…"
"Oh don't worry, it was fine, I got directions. Besides," Sally continued scathingly, "do you know what the most exciting thing I did today was?"
Harry shook his head.
"I played Bohemian Rhapsody on my teeth with a pencil. I was glad I got lost, if only because it gave me something to do!"
"Well," said Harry, thoughtfully, "we're going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, if you want to come with us."
Sally's eyes lit up. "Yes, that would be brilliant!"
"Why don't you come and have dinner in the Great Hall tonight as well?"
Sally considered this, and then nodded slowly. "Okay then."
Waving once again, she turned away from Harry and walked off down the corridor. Harry stood waiting on the stairs. As expected, Sally reappeared after a few moments looking sheepish.
"Harry, where…"
"Turn left at the end of the corridor, down the stairs, mind the trick step, turn right and it's straight ahead of you."
"Thanks."
Dinner was a surprisingly quiet affair. No one took much notice of Sally at all, although most of the people on the Gryffindor table gave her quite a wide berth. Choosing to ignore this, she spent the meal chatting to Ron, Harry and Hermione, and trying to introduce herself to some of the other sixth years without much success.
As Harry, Ron, Hermione and Sally were leaving the Great Hall, however, Tracey Davis, a blonde Slytherin girl, began to make very audible comments about Muggles, along with the rest of the rest of the Slytherin table.
"I mean, what is this, some sort of animal shelter? First a giant, then a werewolf, now this! It's dangerous, who knows what we might catch? If Dumbledore insists on it being at Hogwarts, why isn't it just set loose in the forest like all the other creatures? Or at least kept in a cage or something."
Sally grabbed Harry to prevent him from jumping across the Slytherin table.
"Leave it Harry. After all," she turned to face Tracey, "we don't know what's going on in her life. It must be terrible for you," she continued, now addressing Tracey directly, "that Draco Malfoy is shagging you intermittently because Pansy Parkinson is making him wait." There was a collective gasp, and all heads in the hall turned to the Slytherin table. "You must feel so cheap, so used, so…utterly spineless. I mean the guy won't even let you come up to his room! He's been screwing you in the girls' toilets. If I had such low self esteem, I'd probably need to take it out on someone too."
With that, Sally turned on her heel and walked out of the Great Hall. Ron, Hermione and Harry followed her, stunned.
As they approached the hospital wing, Sally stopped, turned and did a flourishing bow.
Harry, Ron and Hermione applauded obligingly, Ron now almost crying with laughter.
"I haven't seen Malfoy look so embarrassed since Moody turned him into a ferret! How did you know about him and Davis?"
Sally smiled enigmatically.
"It's amazing; the things people say when they think they can't be overheard."
By the next morning, Sally had become one of the most popular girls in the year. Her little speech at dinner had caused Pansy to unceremoniously dump Draco Malfoy in front of the entire school, and he was noticeably absent from the wave of sixth years that were making their way to Hogsmeade. His total humiliation had turned Sally into something of a hero in the eyes of Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs alike, and she was now surrounded by so many people that Harry was finding it difficult to stay near her.
By the time they had all reached Hogsmeade, people began to disperse, but not before Sally had made arrangements to meet a group of Gryffindor sixth years in the Hog's Head that evening before returning to school.
"So," said Sally, finally coming over to Ron, Harry and Hermione, "where are we going?"
Before Harry could answer, the four were blinded by a flash of light. Whipping out his wand, it took Harry a few seconds to realise that the light had actually come from a camera. Looking around he could see that they were surrounded by reporters, all clamouring and shouting questions.
"Sally, how do you feel being at Hogwarts?"
"What was your reaction when you found out about the magical world?"
"Did you know any wizards before you came to Hogwarts?"
"Sally look over here…"
"Sally…."
"Sally…"
Thinking quickly, Harry grabbed Sally by the wrist and pulled her out of the crowd and into a back alley. Ron and Hermione followed close behind.
Harry leant against a wall, breathing heavily, after checking they hadn't been followed. "Bloody hell! What was all that about?"
"Well it's obvious, isn't it," said Hermione, superciliously. "Muggles almost never enter Hogwarts, when one does the press is bound to pick up on it."
Ron groaned. "What are we going to do now? We can't just sit here all day. You don't have the cloak do you Harry?"
"Yes I do," said Harry sarcastically "I keep in my pocket, just for moments like this."
"Just asking."
"Why don't you just leave me here?" suggested Sally. "Come and get me later."
"Don't be stupid," said Harry crossly, "besides, they've seen us with you now. They'll follow us as closely as they'll follow you."
"Well then let's go out there!" retorted Sally. "This is the first time I've ever been to a wizarding village, and I'm not going to spend the day sitting in a drain. If we see reporters just…just ignore them."
"Easier said than done," muttered Harry, but Sally had already stepped into the street.
The four managed to reach Honeydukes without too many problems, but as they entered the shop, Sally gasped as a hand grabbed her elbow.
"Sally Mason? Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet. I was wondering if we could have a little chat."
As she said this, she manoeuvred Sally into a secluded corner of the shop, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione no choice but to follow.
Sitting on a stool, the reporter took a piece of parchment and a quill out of her crocodile skin handbag and, placing the parchment on her lap, balanced the quill on it.
"So," she began, "let's start with the big question. Why are you, a…non-magical person, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"
Instead of answering, Sally turned to look at the parchment on Rita's lap, as the Quick Quotes Quill had already started scribbling away.
Looking bewildered and disorientated, she struggles to answer as the takes in the wondrous new world into which she has been thrown.
Sally raised one eyebrow. "No one's going to believe that," she said, "even if you do print it. It's too saccharine. Oh, and in answer to your question, no comment."
Rita Skeeter glared at the girl for a moment, and then changed her expression to what she clearly thought was a reassuring smile. The quill began to write faster.
"Well, do you at least have a few words for the Daily Prophet?" Rita asked.
Turning to leave, Sally called out a reply over her shoulder. "Actually I do. The second one is 'off '. I'll leave you to work out the first."
"You know she'll slaughter you," said Harry as they left the shop.
Hermione shook her head. "Actually, she won't. Or rather, she can't. The Daily Prophet has been losing readers like wildfire since the whole You-Know-Who fiasco, so they're trying to seem as Muggle friendly as possible"
"Well that's good, at least," said Sally. "Right, where next?"
"Let's try Zonko's," suggested Ron.
After a short stop in Zonko's (which Sally admitted to Hermione she found a bit boring), they went up to the Shrieking Shack-mainly for Sally's benefit, as the novelty had most definitely worn off other three in third year. At Ron's insistence, they then returned to Honeydukes, where Sally immediately bought one of every single wizard sweet she could see – including Cockroach Cluster and an Acid Pop. This led to a debacle at the counter as Sally tried to work out the intricacies of wizard gold.
Because of this, by the time they reached the Hog's Head there was a party in full swing. Seamus and Dean hurried over to grab Sally and pull her over to the bar. She grabbed Ron's wrist, and he was dragged along as well, leaving Harry and Hermione in a corner on their own.
Harry looked at Hermione, and sat down. "Well this is going to be fun," he muttered.
From the looks of things, someone had managed to procure a bottle of Firewhisky – probably Justin Finch-Fletchley, who could easily pass for eighteen. The atmosphere had definitely become much more raucous, and Seamus was now leading a rendition of 'Danny Boy'.
Getting slightly worried, Harry decided to get up and look for Sally and Ron. He found them in the middle of a large crowd, Sally giggling uncontrollably and clinging onto Dean Thomas. Harry sought out Ron who, although he wasn't sober, was less drunk than some of the others.
"How could you let her get like that?" shouted Harry, trying to make himself heard over the second verse of Danny Boy.
Ron shrugged. "She had barely anything, mate. Just a sniff and she was bouncing off the walls."
"Shit."
"What?"
"She's a Muggle, isn't she? Magical alcohol is bound to affect her more than anyone else." Harry sighed, exasperated. "I'd better take her home."
Prising Sally off Dean, Harry led her to the door, telling Hermione on his way out that she should probably keep an eye on Ron.
"Marvellous drink, Ogden's Firewhisky," Sally slurred as they left the pub. "I wrote a song about it, it goes 'La, la la la la…' no wait, that's not it, it goes 'La, la la, la la, laaa…' no, that's not it either…"
"I've definitely got it this time, it's 'La, la la, la la la, la…' no, still wrong…"
Harry tried to quieten Sally down as he hurriedly signed them both back into the castle. Unfortunately, this only made things worse, as Sally put a finger to her lips and began making shushing noises and giggling.
Harry was certain that he couldn't take her back to the hospital wing in this state – even the normally discreet Madam Pomfrey would probably not be willing to turn a blind eye this time. Sighing once again, Harry began to heave Sally back to his study bedroom.
Once he had sat her on his bed, Harry began to look for some water for her to drink, to try and sober her up. When he turned back round to face her, he found that Sally had fallen sideways and was now snoring lightly. Harry considered waking her up, but decided against it and instead took off her shoes, placed her feet on the bed and covered her with a blanket.
Taking a pillow off the bed, he laid it on the floor and tried to transfigure it into a bed. On the third attempt it became a thin and uncomfortable looking sleeping bag.
Oh well, thought Harry, it will have to do.
A/N: Sorry for the huge delay – not only has my life been absolutely mad, I had a bit of writer's block. Anyway, this chapter is quite a bit longer than some of the others, so I hope that made up for it.
fictionair: I'm glad you like it!
Star19: Thank you.
OHsnap: Ah the romance may not be where you expect it to be…then again it might. That was useful, wasn't it?
junomalabre: I am part of that choir now you mention it! I knew I recognised you from somewhere…Anyway, thank you for being such a lovely beta.