Chapter Five: All Seem to Say 'Throw Cares Away'

This ... this was sick. There was no other way to describe it. Driven by a morbid sense of fascination, Jou sank to the floor, staring at the book in his hands as if it were the Holy Grail itself. "Oh, God," he moaned, covering his mouth with one hand, feeling nauseous.

It was Seto. Young, thin, childlike still, eyes wide in his haunted face, small white teeth clamped down on his full lower lip.

He was naked. Bruises marred his alabaster skin, long, jagged slashes decorated his arms and chest like some kind of demonic war paint. A heavy collar was locked around his neck, his wrists fettered above his head with thick chains, knees clamped tightly together as if he strove to preserve some sense of dignity. Tears streaked his cheeks, spilling from those huge cerulean eyes, panic evident in the stiff set of his shoulders, the rigidity of his small muscles.

Jonouchi could feel his last meal coming back up. He fought the nausea and turned the page. Page after page, picture after picture, bruise after cut after tear, after ... he let out a strangled moan. In some of them, Seto wasn't alone. Powerful, evil, disgusting hands grasped at him, dirtying the delicate body, touching him in places no fourteen-year-old boy should be touched. What the hell was this? Advertising?

"Shit," Jou whispered, reaching up for another slim volume, wrenching the lock off this one as well. His eyes fell on the date burned in orange at the bottom corner of the picture and snatched up the first book, comparing the years. This book was two years older; Seto would have been sixteen.

I knew him then, Jou thought, grimacing. He never ... I never realized ...

These pictures were quite different from the last book. Seto wasn't a kid anymore, that much was evident. Sleek, supple muscles just barely visible beneath pale, perfect skin. No cuts, no bruises this time. Just Seto, twisted into impossible positions.

Seto wasn't scared anymore. Jonouchi cringed at the hungry, seductive look in the boy's eyes, his delicate hands roaming over his own body, a coy smile flashed at the camera. If there were chains they were purely for theatrical effect; Seto seemed much more enthusiastic this time around. Seto on a bed of rose petals, fingers splayed over his lean stomach; Seto reclining in a bathtub, legs spread as if he welcomed violation, wrists crossed above his head and bound with a strip of blue silk. Jonouchi was going to throw up.

He wasn't kidding, Jonouchi thought. He was ... he didn't ...hell. Did Seto enjoy being used? Jonouchi knew that some people had a taste for pain that bordered on bizarre, but Seto had never seemed the type ...

"Maybe a masochist? Maybe I liked being fucked while he held me down, hm?"

Did he mean that? Jonouchi shook his head fiercely. Don't be stupid, he told himself. Seto's not like that. But maybe—

"I don't like cameras. Get that damn thing out of my face.

Maybe he had a reason for that ... ?

But ... that smile ...

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Jonouchi's head snapped around. Seto was standing frozen in the doorway, looking as if he were either about to cry, or snap Jonouchi's neck. Just in case Seto leaned in favour of the latter, Jou scrambled to his feet, holding the book like a shield in front of him. "I—I jus'—I saw a light an' I thought you were in here, an' I—"

"Don't you have any sense of decency?" Seto growled, stalking over to him. Jonouchi cringed, waiting for the inevitable blow, still clutching the book desperately. "This is not a museum! My life isn't on display here for your viewing pleasure!"

"I was jus' curious!" Jou protested.

"Just curious?" All of Seto's rage vanished and his shoulders slumped, as if he were too exhausted to even support his own weight. "Now you know. Are you happy?"

"I—I don' understand—" Jou glanced down at the book, cheeks flushed. "Is dis—were you—"

"I told you I was his whore, didn't I? You're the idiot who wouldn't listen to me. I wasn't being dramatic, Jonouchi." Seto slid to the floor, clutching his knees to his chest in a bizarrely childlike manner. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on his knees. "I was. I am. I don't know."

"Why would you keep dese?" Jonouchi didn't understand why he hadn't burned them, or at the very least thrown them away.

"They remind me."

"Of what?"

"Who—what—I am." Seto couldn't meet his eyes. "Everyone needs to be dragged back to reality once in a while." He ran his thumb over his dragon-bracelet. "I just need a stronger reminder than most people, that's all. It's so easy to be arrogant when you're rich."

"Did you—I mean—"

"Spit it out, mutt. I don't have time to listen to you stutter."

"You—" Jou glanced down at the book. "You didn' exactly seem upset—"

Seto lifted his head, giving the stammering blonde a quizzical look. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you like it?"

Seto winced.

"You did," Jonouchi whispered in awe and horror. "Didn' you?"

"No, I—"Seto bit down on his lower lip, hard. "I hated it at first, but after awhile—it kept me sane. How—how could I have had so much? I was a poor orphan who cheated his way to the top. I didn't deserve—"

"You didn' deserve dis!" Jou stabbed the page with a furious finger. "You were a kid! Jus' a lost, lonely scared kid!" He could feel furious tears threatening to spill down his flushed cheeks; he'd never realized how much Seto hated himself.

"It was just easier not to fight. Sometimes he was even nice to me."

"Who?"

"Father."

"Shit ... " Jou sank to his knees in front of Seto, wrapping awkward arms around him, holding the brunette to his chest. "Dat's what it took for him t' be nice t' you? Sleepin' with his employees? Dat's sick."

"I guess," Seto mumbled into Jou's collarbone. "He was just trying to make me strong."

"D'you feel strong now, Seto?"

Seto let out a strangled whimper that wrenched at Jou's heart. "No ... "

"Don' make excuses for a perverted old man. It was twisted, an' wrong, an' you didn' do anythin' to deserve dat. You understand me?"

"But Father—"

"—let his employees rape his son," Jou spat. "He's dead, Seto. Don' let him run your life anymore." Seto's arms snaked around Jou's waist, holding him tightly, as if he was afraid to let go.

"I'll try."

A/N: Aww, isn't that sweet? Is this turning into too much of a soap opera? I realize Kaiba is acting very un-Kaiba like, but he's been traumatized, and I envision him being scared and uncertain and slightly crazy. I mean, he's got to have other sides to him, sides that aren't cold and mean and cruel and standoffish. I like this angsty Kaiba.

"What do you mean, you're dating him?" Mokuba shot his brother an incredulous look. "You said he didn't deserve this stress. Do I even want to know what happened to change your mind?"

"We made passionate love for hours on the bathroom floor," Seto snapped sarcastically. "What the hell do you think?"

Mokuba held up his hands in defense. "Interrogation successfully terminated, onii-san."

"I just get the sense that telling him to leave me alone wouldn't do much good," Seto said, biting into the onigiri Mokuba offered him. "This is good."

"Thanks," Mokuba said, wiping his hand on the skirt of his apron. "Are they heading home?"

"Yeah," Seto said. "They've got work tomorrow, I guess. Christmas is over."

"Speaking of, did you ever give Jou his gift?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Never got the chance. I'll give it to him before he goes home."

"Make sure you do. He's bound to wonder why you gave everyone but him something." Mokuba shoved a plate of onigiri into Seto's hands. "Here. Be a charming host for once."

Seto arched an eyebrow at his younger brother. "I'm not already?"

Mokuba laughed and gave Seto a gentle shove on the shoulder.

"Thanks for putting up with us," Malik called, waving to Seto. Seto waved back at his 'friends' awkwardly, attempting a half-smile. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," Seto muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Hey, Jou—"

Jonouchi was struggling with the buttons on his army-green trenchcoat. "Wha?" He glanced up desperatly. "Help me?"

Seto sighed and fastened the buttons, trying to ignore his impulse to close the distance between them and kiss Jou. "There. Stupid mutt. What kind of idiot can't even fasten his coat properly?"

"Your kinda idiot," Jou responded roguishly, kissing him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Seto." Seto grabbed his arm.

"Wait."

"Na?" Jou looked confused. "I didn' steal yer silva or anyt'ing. I swear."

"I—your Christmas gift." Seto felt his cheeks flush. He was going to be terrible at this relationship thing, he could tell already.

"You didn' hafta."

"I know," he said, thinking of Mokuba and wondering what his little brother had bought. "Here." He shoved a silver box tied with green silk ribbon into Jou's hand.

"You're not really da romantic type, are ya?" Jou commented, untying the ribbon and tucking it into his pocket. He pried the top off of the box as best he could with glove-muffled fingers. (A/N: If any of you know how hard it is to do anything with gloves on ... ) "Wow, Kaiba—upscale insults."

He pulled out what was unmistakably a thin black leather dog collar, studded with tiny gems. "Tell me dese aren't diamonds?"

"They are," Mokuba said, startling Seto. "Pretty, no?"

"Kaiba, dis—dis is too much—" Jou fingered the silver name tag bearing "Jonouchi Katsuya" in gold-embossed kanji. A small sapphire winked at the top of the tag, a testament to the puppy's 'owner.'

"You don't like it?" Seto shot a glance at his brother, admiring his taste in jewelry for what was the first—and hopefully last—time.

"No, I—I love it. Thank you." Jou grinned at him and held the collar out to Seto. "Put it on me?"

Mokuba grinned and patted his brother on the back. "I'll leave you kids alone," he said, vanishing into the house.

Seto reached out with shaky fingers and buckled the collar around Jou's slim throat, adjusting the tag so it hung just above his collarbone. "It looks nice on you, pup."

Jou threw his arms around Seto's neck and kissed him, tongue sliding between Seto's lips and into his mouth. Seto returned the kiss eagerly, winding his long arms around Jou's waist. They stood like that for a while, enjoying the heat of each other's bodies in contrast to the sharp winter air. They broke apart and Seto wound Jou's scarf around his neck, brushing gentle fingertips over Jou's cheek. "Merry Christmas, pup."

"You too," Jou called, bouncing down the steps. "I'll call you!"

"You'd better," Seto replied good-naturedly, crossing his arms over his chest and watching his puppy bounding across the snow-covered yard.

Jou grinned as he slammed open the door of his apartment, singing loudly to himself, some song he'd picked up from watching too much late-night anime. "Who's in the forest strolling ... the birds and the bees sing Mo-mi-jiiii .... "He unbuckled the collar, admiring the way the jewels caught the light, before rubbing at the tag furiously in an attempt to polish it. "Wait, what's this?"

He turned the tag over, squinting to read the tiny kanji in the dim light. "If ... found ... please ... return ... to ... Kaiba ... Seto ... ? Kaiba, you bastard!" he laughed, collapsing on his bed, giggling. "You complete bastard ... "

On the other side of the city, Mokuba was dodging various objects Seto was flinging at him. "Ow, nii-chan," he whined as a book struck him in the temple.

"He's going to think I'm a complete pervert!"

"It goes along with the whole 'mutt' thing! It was a joke!"

"You've got a shitty sense of humour!"

"It was funny! Laugh, dammit!"

Seto's pillow hit him in the face. Mokuba tripped and fell flat on the floor, striking the carpet with a loud thump.

Seto laughed.

And so ends chapter five ... a little humour with your angst ... please review this and make Kaida happy. Puh-rease? (I support Engrish!)

Hey, you know what I never noticed? 'Kaida' looks remarkably like 'Kaiba,' only with a 'd' instead of a 'b.' I didn't intend that ... I just like the name Kaida. It means 'little dragon,' I think.