Disclaimer: I do not own Sleepy Hollow. The film Sleepy Hollow was made by Tim Burton who adapted it from Washington Irving's short story The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
AN: I just watched Johnny Depp on Inside the Actor's Studio recently and every time he talked about playing Ichabod Crane he would describe him as a "prepubescent girl," and I was instantly reminded of my story. If Ichabod is a prepubescent girl, then this story is sort of about his journey into "woman hood." I just thought I'd share that little tid bit with you folks.
Chapter 4: Plotting the Course
Ichabod sighed as he sat at his desk, hunched over his notebook. Chin resting in the palm of one hand and his pen in the other, he stared at the blank page in front of him. This situation may have been started illogically, but surely he could at least try to make sense of things. Everything could be planned out or organized, why not his pregnancy? He frowned at the word "pregnancy". He still wasn't used to the idea of being with child, but he was trying his best to force himself to get used to it.
Taking a deep breath, he began his planning process. He wrote down on the top of the page "Pregnancy Chart". If he recalled correctly, women tended to carry their babies for about nine months. He had conceived his child around early July, nearly a month ago. He scribbled down the months July to March of next year.
Katrina had told him that she wished to stay in Sleepy Hollow for most of the summer, but perhaps he could convince her to return home sooner. He really wanted to go back to New York, he no longer felt safe in the Hollow knowing that the Hessian was still wandering around the woods. He didn't want to even think about what might happen if the Hessian ever found out he was pregnant with his child. Besides, there were more libraries and medical books for him to study and he really wanted to find out more about his condition so he could understand it better.
So far, he had made it threw the first month and had gotten used to his symptoms, even to the point of finding the pattern that had formed. He would wake up, vomit the food from the previous night, and proceed to suffer a severe headache. For the most part, he was arguably fine in the afternoon, leaving him free to do as he wished with the day. However, he would be exhausted by the time night fell and would go straight to bed. Still, it had only been one month. He had to prepare himself for the next eight.
Under July he placed a dot followed by the word "conception", and under March he placed another dot followed by the word "birth". On second thought, he added a question mark next to the word.
Ichabod sighed as he leaned back in his chair. He really wished he had some type of book on pregnancy, that way he could better plan his symptoms. He knew nothing of pregnancies, or children for that matter.
Ichabod let out a irritated groan at the thought. He was going to give birth without any knowledge of tending to children. His own childhood was only a vague memory to him, marked by events filled with horror and pain. He couldn't give this baby a normal life, that much he knew. He had very little money, no wife and since he was away most of the time, it was more then likely there would be no one to take care of the baby.
I suppose the only reasonable thing to do is give up the child, he thought. At least give it a chance of a normal life. He nodded in agreement with his own thought. It was for the best. After all, if the child was not with him then it would make it that much harder for the Horseman to find it.
He scribbled down on a blank page "give up baby," but stopped. For some reason, he didn't want to finish writing it. Did he really want to go through all that work just to give up the child? No more then a few days ago he was regretting never having any children, and now he was going to throw away what may very well be his last and only chance of having any offspring.
No. I have to think about this rationally. I can't possibly take care of a baby on my own! Children need both a father and a mother!
As if to make his point, he underlined the words two times.
Moving on, he scribbled next "Tell Katrina" and hesitated for a moment. He still didn't completely understand the situation yet, and he had promised Dr. Brown that he would tell her as soon as he did. It was anyone's guess when he would come to terms with this, and he felt like it wasn't going to be any time soon. He shrugged and put a question mark next to the words.
He sat in silence for a moment before a thought entered his mind; Didn't the Horseman have a right to know about this child?
No! He shook his head fiercely, trying to erase the thought. How could I even entertain that type of thought? After what he did to me, what he's done to all those people in his life and afterlife? He's a madman and a murder!
But this could be the only family he has left. Wouldn't you want to know if there was a chance that you may have some sort of family left?
No, I have had quite enough of family.
Then why are you considering keeping the child?
He didn't have an answer for that.
Your lonely, that's why. He might be lonely too.
He deserves to be alone.
Nobody deserves to be alone.
He growled in frustration. It was bad enough to argue with himself, it was even worse to lose said argument. He quickly wrote down "Tell Hessian?" before he could think of stopping himself.
"Happy now?" he asked himself sarcastically before groaning and throwing his arms up in the air. "No, I'm not!"
This was getting annoying. He was simply going back and forth, saying one thing and then a second later, thinking another. Planning this pregnancy wasn't as simple as he had hoped it would be. And he still didn't have any information on pregnancy!
Just then a thought had occurred to him and he felt like slapping himself. Why not just ask Dr. Brown for a medical book on pregnancy? He groaned in annoyance at himself. Why hadn't he thought of that sooner? Neglecting to shut his notebook, he stalked off to talk with the doctor, hoping that the fresh air would clear his head.