:squeals: 8 REVIEWS! Not as good as 10 but… armfoothandknee. I'm very happy with it. As usual, sorry for the slow update. What happened to my chappie a day, eh? I know. It's horrible. But it's not that I don't want to write…
Argm. Whatever. I've updated now and that's all that matters. Please forgive Suze for her random outbursts of Ramstein and my slow updates. This story will be over soon so I can add more to 'Stuck In Between,' (yay).
Unfortunately, I'm in writers block for THAT too.
Ahh well. Here we go again.
∞ Isa ∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I don't know if I will survive without you in my arms
Then now...
Give me a chance
Let me show you how much love you
Oh, I need you to survive in the darkness
Save me from the dark and from the death
- Evanescence, For you
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
I arrived home after school feeling depressed… if you could sum up this feeling of the most extreme sadness and guilt in one word, that is. I also felt really stupid. I mean, now I understand what Jesse AND Paul must be thinking of me now: Suze is a freak that sings in German.
Not that I care about what Paul thinks of me.
Inwardly, I sighed and continued walking up the steps into my room. I didn't expect Jesse to be there and he wasn't.
Except…
There was another letter.
I don't know why I brightened up somewhat at this letter. I mean, I guess it was because my 'admirer' didn't care if I sung in German or had watched XXX around seventy times. (An: That's where I got 'Bang Bang' from… who gives a shit about Janet Jackson; Suze is now a Ramstein fan) But yeah. I was happy because I have a letter.
A letter.
For me.
SQUEE!
Hehe. That rhymes. I am having a really random day today, I thought as I picked up the letter from my window seat – where it had been carefully placed – and dropped my bag onto the floor, where it thudded onto the carpet and stayed there.
I sat on the window seat and felt a warm chill up my spine. I imagined that Jesse was sitting behind me and I was laying back on him and he was touching me. Every time that Jesse touched this imaginary Suze, her temperature would arise one more step above homeostasis then she would sigh in bliss and Jesse would release a big grin.
Consciously I had been thinking of that. But my subconscious mind seems to have a mind of it's own – before you say anything, I am aware that that sentence makes no sense whatsoever – and as I was fantasizing about Jesse I had slowly unwrapped the letter and the envelope had flopped into my lap.
The letter was now completely folded open for the world to see. I took it all in with eager eyes. This time there was only one note and no poem. This is what it said:
My Susannah how much you have deceived
Your beauty has corrupted the things I once perceived
As a natural beauty, a wonder to me
Now I see those things will never be
What I need… so bad and so true
Can't you see that thing is you?
Your Secret Admirer (Who could it be…)
That was so beautiful I felt like I was going to be sick with warm fuzzies – which I was suddenly getting in huge amounts. I reread the note over a few times and realized the warm fuzzies I got kept coming once I read the bottom line.
Your secret admirer… who could it be?
Was it a clue? I think it was.
I bounced off the window seat and towards my CD collection. My mother had burnt me a CD once, with a lot of different songs on it. But there was one in particular that got me…
I found the CD soon enough and put it in my CD player. It whirled to life for a moment but then –
The power cut.
I groaned. Why? Why did everything hate me today? Luck sure did. And god. Especially god. The man upstairs does not like me one bit.
Oh well, what were the odds that the stereo downstairs would fail too? I took my CD down there.
And five minutes later came slouching – what happened to the bouncing? – Back up the stairs. What were the odds? Odds smodds.
Aka. The stereo downstairs had cut out as well.
Man oh man…
But then I thought: Maybe this was another sign. Because again, what were the odds? The only person I could know that has powers that could stop electricity from flowing would be –
Jesse.
Did that mean that Jesse was my secret admirer? My heart skipped a beat… maybe two. But then reality fell on me. Why would Jesse cut the power to the stereos if he didn't want me to find out the song clue? What if there was no clue?
My head was spinning with too many questions. I slowly walked back down the stairs and pulled out a kitkat and can of Pepsi from the fridge before walking back upstairs to my room.
And I was greeted with quite a weird sight.
Jesse was lying on my bed…
In, what people these days would call it, a sex pose.
Were my eyes deceiving me?
Then I realized what he had in his hands. My letter. My eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and I stalked up to him then did something I would regret dearly.
I hit him over the head with my kitkat.
So what? I mean. If Jesse was lying on my bed, in a pose that only could scream out 'screw me, screw me!' (If you know what I mean) then shouldn't that give me all the right to whack him on the head with my chocolate bar?
No.
But –
I did anyway.
When I did this, I said that I regretted it dearly. That was because of what happened next. Jesse, still lying in the same pose – with one of his legs outstretched and flat on the bed and the other bent at the knee, propped up on top of the outstretched one, his body turned to the side facing the door and his hand holding up his head on a sideways angle – gripped onto my hand, apparently not at all shaken by my actions.
And then – he flipped me onto the bed.
I am not even joking. With his ghostly powers and grip on my hand, I flew from where I was standing, in his view and in front of the bed, and then onto the bed, on the other side of him, in a mere, oh, two seconds.
No kidding? It was fun. But it wasn't fun when Jesse started tickling me rapidly, all in my sensitive spots causing me to howl and giggle without mercy. The only time he stopped the game was nearing the end – when I fell off the side of my bed and painfully onto the floor.
Or that's what I thought I did, until I realized he was holding me. He had caught me at the speed of light and soon I was pulled into him. His hug felt warm and I felt as if I were the luckiest girl alive.
Brown eyes looked down at me with concern. My face felt hot. Was he going to kiss me again?
I already knew the answer and I thought it all the more when Jesse released me and I tumbled down into the middle of the bed. A few strands of my dark brown hair fell into my face and I blew them upwards, making a farting noise.
I looked over at Jesse, only to see that he was still sitting on the bed, looking down at me. "I forgive you, by the way," was all he seemed to say.
I grinned and sat up, "Thanks," was my reply.
Jesse wasn't finished like I thought he was. Oh no serry. "Next time when I'm talking to you, however, maybe you could uh… not speak rapid Italian."
I immediately corrected him. "German."
If I hadn't have gotten enough of it last time, I did then. Again in a perfect enactment of me, Jesse said nonchalantly, "Whatever."
"Stop doing that!" I groaned and my hands flew to my face, I fell back down onto the bed again.
I breathed out slowly. Carefully. "Okay. I'll forgive you since you forgive me. If I don't speak in rapid German," I put an emphasis on the 'German' so he'd remember it better, "and you don't mock OR laugh at me anymore."
Jesse looked confused, "Laugh at you? I have never laughed at you before." I snorted.
"Yes you have." My gaze was averted from his face to my pillow on the opposite side of the bed. I turned my whole body around so I was in front of the pillow, and not Jesse. It seemed to be a dramatic thing to do but I remembered the times that he had laughed at me before and my vision was blurred.
Arg. I groaned inwardly. Crying attack!
I made sure it didn't show. Especially when Jesse poked me – yes, poked – on the shoulder. Then I felt him get up off the bed and physically turn me around. Whilst he was floating above me, I got a perfect view of the six-pack underneath his shirt, so I was in a little bit of a daze for a moment. But then I came to terms and met his eyes.
"Susannah. I have never laughed at you be-" Jesse began to say again, but something stopped him. It wasn't me, but something else.
"SLATER!"
My whole body sprang up in, what seemed to be, a natural reflex. I guess it was natural when it was Paul. I turned to see where Jesse had seen him.
But there was nothing there.
I looked closer and there it was. A sign. It looked like a knife, which curved both ways. But it was in red paint. Or blood.
Then I realized what it was. How could I have been so stupid? It was the Evanescence sign. Off the CD my mom had burnt for me. I almost sighed in relief. But then I wondered, briefly, why it was there.
This was most definitely weird. Why did Evanescence keep popping up? First it was the lyrics from 'Solitude' (Your secret admirer, who could it be?) and then the Evanescence symbol appeared on my wall.
Jesse had said he had seen Paul… that meant…
"NO!" My hands flew to my face for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. But I didn't care. All I could think was:
Please no. Please no. Please no. Please no.
Which, I might add, when it revolved around your head as fast as light, got really annoying after a while.
So I decided to think:
Why? Why did my secret admirer have to be PAUL SLATER!
Jesse instantaneously calmed and went to aid me. I, of course devastated, was rocking back and forth on my bed. Looking back, I must have seemed not quite right in the head. No… wait… try a lot not right in the head. If there was such a thing.
"Susannah?"
This was so weird. Jesse had to continuously be worried about my changing moods. One moment I was hitting him with chocolate – hey! Where did my kitkat go? – then I was moping then the next I was in complete and utter shock when I found out that my secret admirer, the one who smothered me with chocolates and love notes was really my enemy Paul Slater!
It all came out. Everything in the above paragraph, minis the kitkat remark and how weird it was and my changing moods and how Jesse had to be there continuously to worry about me.
"So let me get this straight. You are convinced that Paul Slater is sending you notes and objects of affection?" Jesse asked, looking sceptically at me.
"Yes." I felt stupid now. Now that the initial shock of my secret admirer had been revealed had worn off. I really did feel dumb.
"Susannah. If Paul Slater drew that sign-" he pointed to the Evanescence symbol behind him "-than how could he have given you that at the same time? Because I am sure that was not there before."
This sparked my interest. "What?" I turned to where Jesse pointed at the second time. It was another gift, this one was wrapped in light blue paper and it also had a note to go with it.
I opened the gift first. Yeah, I know it was a little rude, but I could look at the card later. I had the whole night to do that.
The gift was a CD. It was burnt, like the one I received off my mom. But when I put it in my CD player next to my bed – the power was no longer out… thanks Jesse – I realized that it wasn't the mixture of oldie songs – along with rock – that my mom had given me.
The first song was 'Vanessa Williams - Dreaming' the second one was, 'Metallica – Until It Sleeps' the third was 'Evanescence – For You' the fourth was 'Soundgarden – 4th of July' the fifth was, 'Evanescence – Solitude' and the last one was a karaoke version of a song I had never heard of before, but it sounded nice.
"Jesse, what do you think this means -" I turned around to face him.
But he was gone.
The letter that the admirer sent lay where it had been before. I opened it slowly, savouring any effect that it might have on me. Good or Bad.
This will be the last
Of me you will see
Claim me now at the school
Junipnero Serra Mission Academy
Admirer
The time had come for me to meet my secret admirer. I was certain that was what the letter meant.
But one thing got to me.
Was my mystery admirer Jesse de Silva or Paul Slater?
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Good Enough? Lol. That took me AGES to write. I hope its good enough. The next chapter will be the last. All will be revealed. The strangeness of Jesse. What the notes meant. Who the admirer was. What will become of the other man – the one who is not the admirer – and ultimately, whom Suze will end up with etc.
I've done my part… can you do yours? Review. Please. I will forever be in your debt.
∞ Isa ∞
P.S. I ALMOST forgot. Acknowledgements to the GREAT people who have reviewed already:
Strawberry-Shortcake01 – We'll see, Chica, We'll see. Maybe from this chapter you will know who the admirer is. I'm still not telling until the fic is over. Which will be in a chapter or two.
Elmers Girl – At least someone appreciates my humour:) Not that no one does… they do. But yeah. Raine, you just light up my life! Ramstein rocks – thanks for the lyrics, by the way. And yeah, I will be writing a 1-800-WHERE-R-YOU fic later on. AFTER I finish this fic and perhaps another few MEDIATOR one-shots.
Alda Rethe – Cheese rocks. No doubt about it. Lol. I learn how to write poems from school. Mrs Archeries is our English Teacher and she's this really cool poet. I love her work :hugs teacher and grimaces when she gets a detention: meh… lol. Thanks for the review and I hope you like this chappie.
Nikki007 – Du Hast is a complex song… I don't even know the English. I think Raine (Elmers Girl/Lluvia) does though. Check with her.
BillthePonyLlama – Heh. YAY! German rocks. I don't understand the song… I just like it. What's the translation you got? Lmao. I love your fic by the way. Very unique.
Whitedestiny34 – I told you it was random. No, Suze likes the movie 'XXX' (lmao, so do I) and you know how songs sometimes stick into your head and you know all the words? Yeah. That's what happened to Suze. It happened to Elmers Girl with Metallica as well. Lol.
Jeese's Querida – Lol. You will find out who the admirer is in the next, and unfortunately final, chapter.
TTFN.