Hi everyone… edgy wedgy and myself would like to say a few words before you go ahead and read this new chapter. First of all, this was entirely written during one maths lesson, and was frowned upon by another friend (happy molecule – even though she has no idea about the characters in TP books and she apparently finds the story scary, has kept reading whatever we write for the past term.) I'd also like to say that the contents of this story will get 'harsher' but no less interesting and engaging!!! I've edited chapter one, but if you would like to see the original version (which isn't THAT different) please go to edgy wedgy's account.
For now, let's enjoy and I pray to the gods that you don't sue me or Aaron – or, if you do, don't go bashing Joren.
*I don't own the characters. I own the depressing (REALLY DEPRESSING!!!) story I put them in. What can you say? Aaron likes biscuits.*
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Chapter two
"Look!" cried Cleon, "I have three biscuits today!"
"You mean you HAD three biscuits today," snapped Kel. She was in a bad mood over Neal's obsession with Cleon..
"Well, actually, I had about fifteen," said Cleon in a matter-of-fact manner. "They were really nice, you should try them, Kel."
Kel rolled her eyes, got out of her chair and left the room. Neal strode in, looking very pompous. When he saw Cleon he broke into a smile. "Cleon! My good man, how are you today?"
Cleon looked up at Neal and mumbled something incomprehensible through a mouthful of biscuit.
Nea's smile faded a little. "Good, good," he said. He sat down opposite Cleon and folded his hands in his lap, watching Cleon intently. Cleon didn't seem to notice, just kept eating his biscuit. After a while Neal cleared his throat seriously.
"Uh, Cleon," he said solemnly. "I need to talk to you."
Cleon just looked at him and blew a raspberry, spraying him with biscuit. Neal flinched.
"Cleon, when we get married," Neal continued, watching Cleon try to say the alphabet with the biscuits in his mouth, "we have to start thing about children."
Cleon's mouth opened so fast that all the soggy crumbs flew out of his mouth and onto Neal. "B-b-but I d-d-don't want-t ch-child-dren!" he cried, and burst into tears.
Neal stiffly wiped the crumbs off his face and said, "Not our children, you."
Cleon was shaking his head so hard that he looked like a blur. "Waaaaah! I'm not a child!"
"YES YOU ARE!" Neal was getting very annoyed. In addition to having biscuit crumbs all over him, his future child was not behaving at all. "Kel won't be happy to see you act this way."
"Kel can speak for herself, thank you very much," said a sharp voice.
Neal whirled around to see Kel, and smiled. "Now Cleon, say hello to your future mother!"
Cleon opened his mouth. Neal waited expectantly. However, only a dribble came out.
"Well?" he demanded, "don't you have anything to say?"
Cleon burst into tears again. "But I love you Neal! In that way!" he continued to cry and soon he began to sound like the wailing noise that King Jonathan makes when he gets woken up in the middle of the night.
"Ugh!" said Kel, throwing her arms in the air. "Two useless fiancés!" she marched out of the room.
Neal glanced at Cleon, who was sucking on a biscuit and looing at him with sad puppy eyes, and ran out of the room after Kel.
"Kel!" he cried, "Kel, wait!"
Keladry kept walking.
"Please, Kel, listen to me!"
Kel stopped but did not turn around.
Suddenly, she began to laugh out loud
She laughed so hard that she fell on the floor of the corridor and started thumping the floor with her fists. Neal looked on, concerned but completely and utterly helpless.
Suddenly she stood up, buttoned up her shirt to the very top button, and turned to Neal. "Yes?" she said coldly.
Neal became quite aware of how tall and mean she looked "It's about Cleon…" he said nervously.
Kel threw her arms in the air. "Cleon! It's all about Cleon!" she shrieked. "If you love him so much, why don't you ge dig yourself a hole and live there with him?"
Neal looked at her, horrified. "I don't really like holes, Kel, They're dirty. I don't feel a hole is an adequate dwelling for us."
"Buy a mansion then!"
"But where would you go?"
"I…" Keladry paused. "I don't know!" she wailed and fell to her knees, sobbing.
Neal ran up to comfort her. "Oh Kel, don't cry. We're getting married, don't be this way."
When she didn't take any heed of what he had said, Neal didn't know what to do. Kel was being so immature, yet… he loved her…
"I love you, Kel," said Neal.
Kel squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "No," she said firmly. "You love Cleon. You're only marrying me so that you can get to him."
Neal looked shocked. "That's not true!" he cried. "YOU'RE the one I love! Cleon will be our adopted child. I don't love him in that way!"
Kel shook her head furiously. "I've seen the way he looks at you!" she cried, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Just go, Neal, please. I need some time alone."
She turned around and kept walking. Neal stood there, arms hanging loosely by his sides.
Cleon bounced into the corridor. "Hi love!" he said.
Neal looked at Cleon's smiling face and walked out towards the courtyard.
Cleon stopped smiling. He ran to Kel's room and knocked on the door. "Mummy!" he cried. "Daddy's ignoring me!"
Then he realised that he had just accepted Neal's new role for him and quickly said, "I mean, wife, husband's ignoring me!"
He continued to pound on the door and yell this out loud for about fifteen minutes when he finally realised that Kel was not replying.
"…and I don't think I can do that. I mean I'm only eighteen and two husbands who only love each other and it's just too much. I'm sorry, but oh Mithros, I really don't know what to do. I love you both, equally, but neither of you seem to want me. Neal is just…"
Cleon yawned. Kel could be so boring sometimes.
"…why, WHY is this happening to me?" Kel broke into hysterical sobs. Cleon yawned again and fell asleep on the floor outside Kel's door.
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Next chapter features Alex, Roger and Joren… what could they get up to, when all three of them are… dead?