Here goes nothing.
Every time I had rehearsed this in my head, things were easier. Not that I had ever planned on telling him, least of all being the first to say something. Why in the hell am I doing this again? Oh right. The lead brick. Keep your focus, Polk. And try to keep things in sentence form.
Now that I'm about to do this, I can't find the words.
"There aren't any words." I try to look flippant, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to pull it off. He looks confused.
"There aren't any words for what, Grace?" I can tell he's concerned. Dammit. He actually cares; he's not just looking for an easy lay. When did guys like that show up, at least in real life? Theoretically, I guess that part shouldn't be making this harder. It is. "Does this have something to do with your mom?"
"Psh. I know the words for that: I never want to be like her." And I don't. Because sometimes it seems she's drinking away whatever she and the rabbi had to begin with. "I just... Okay, dude. You know I'm not emotional and I would rather dip my arm in acid than show that I care about anyone. But you, Mr. Logic Boy of all people, should come to a certain conclusion when a girl will willingly spend time in closets full of dead things in jars to fulfill, and often exceed, the '5 minute minimum rule'." I still tried for the flippant thing. Unfortunately, I couldn't even fool myself.
The slightly suprised but mostly pleased look on his face had an air of "Ah-hah, I knew it!" Pattented science geek expression.
"Grace..."
"Yes, that means what you think it means, geek. I just can't find any way to get it out without sounding like I should be an overpriced, rectangular piece of folded cardboard with a mushy saying and a barcode."
Why does he have to smile like that? Very "I knew it all along." Unfortunately, my annoyance is unwarranted: he's really not being cruel about my discomfort. Should make it easier; doesn't.
He slides down to would-be-eye-level, if we weren't side by side. I can feel his lips brush my cheek and I don't even get the urge to roll my eyes when I hear "I love you too, Grace."
Well, I'm planning on doing 2 more chapters. Maybe just to tie it all together. What do my critics think?