Chapter eleven, page forty, chapter eleven, page forty… Ahem. In this chapter Joren gets emotionally bashed. Jorie, please don't feel bad… don't hate me… it was Aaron's fault! Might I point out that Sarah is a miserable typist and if she typed better there would be no need for me to correct mistakes like, "Joren grinned, despite his depressing". So there. And Sarah, go get your betas back because I really don't enjoy betaring or whatever it's called.

*we don't own the characters. We own the depressing story we put them in.*

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Chapter eleven: The one and only gorgeous redhead (besides Thom)

"My, my, our little Joren is s six-year old girl." Alex picked up a plastic teacup and scratched at the flowers on it.

Cleon sat happily on a chair, 'drinking tea' and 'eating cake'.

"A tea party. A tea party?!" cried Roger, "What was he thinking? What were you - Oh gosh!" he clutched at his foot on which Cleon had just dropped a paperweight.

He raised a fist and swung it at Cleon.

Alex intervened. "No Roger."

Roger flung himself into a corner to sulk.

"Look it's a letter!" cried Cleon suddenly.

Alex picked up a pink envelope off the table and sniffing it, recognized rose oil.

"It's addressed to Merric," said Roger, peering at the name.

Alex tore it open and pulled out the letter inside. Roger stood up and read over his shoulder,

"Dear Merric, I have longed for you, my love, so desperately. But now I realize that I will never be able to have your love.

"Wow," commented Roger, "He had real feelings for that boy."

Alex continued. "It saddens me that Roger grabbed Cleon and not you. Cleon is -"

Roger covered Cleon's ears.

"- a big clumsy oaf and he should really go take a bath. What I'm saying is tat I would like you, my love, to know that you have always been the center of my feelings, you have always been the one for me, ever since I met you. I love you, Merric, and if you ever read this letter you should know that I will always love you and be waiting for you.

Alex sniggered. "No wonder this Merric doesn't like him"

Roger read the rest. "I will go now and kill myself. The thought of never being able to see you again is already breaking my heart. Farewell, my love."

Roger put the letter down. "What an idiot."

Alex sat in one of the chairs and started drinking.

"Aren't we going to go after him?" asked Roger.

Alex shook his head. "Don't you worry, he'll be back soon."

***

Joren stormed into his room, mud-soaked and extremely depressed. "It's sucks to be dead," he said to himself, and stopped at the sight.

Alex and Roger were sitting at the table he had set up, bawling their eyes out.

"Our poor Jorie," cried Roger, sniffling loudly, "What a shame he has died!"

Joren was amazed. They didn't know that you couldn't kill yourself when you were already dead?

"Yes," said Alex, blowing his nose, "If only he could see that Merric had come…"

Joren's jaw dropped. Sitting on the exact chair he'd prepared for Merric sat the one and only gorgeous redhead (besides Thom).

"Merric?" said Joren incredulously and all eyes in the room turned to him.

"Joren!" cried Alex, coming over to hug him but stopped short, seeing the mud on his clothes. But Joren did not take any notice of him.

"Is that Merric?" Joren whispered.

"Er, actually," said Alex, "He wants to be called Keladry."

Joren didn't hear him. He started to walk over to Merric.

He ran his fingered through Merric's curly red hair and stroked his jaw. "Oh Merric!"

"Um… hello!" said the redhead brightly. "Have you come to play with me?"

"Yes…" whispered Joren, as if he was in a trance, "Yes, I have come for you…"

"Yay!" cried Merric and continued drinking his tea. "Now, do you want strawberry or pink lemon tea?"

Joren's lip quivered. Here was Merric, his one true love, sitting before him he had often dreamed about this day, and how it would probably never arrive.

"… the strawberry tea is quite good, it tastes rather sweet with the cinnamon tea cake, but the pink lemon tea tastes like rose petals on a dewy morning…"

Joren knelt down and grasped Merric's hands. "Merric," he whispered, "Pray tell me, the name on the one you love."

Merric squirmed. "Let go! I need to cut the cake!"

Joren trembled. Merric was being coy. "Please Merric, reveal to me… the name of your true love."

"Neal," Merric said absently, and continued to serve 'cake'.

Joren's heart constricted. "Ow," he gasped, clutching his chest, "Ow."

Alex got up quickly and shuffled him out of the room. "Come, dear," he said soothingly, "Merric needs a little time adjusting." He paused, listening to the crack of furniture, the smashing of plates and continuous wails coming from the room they had left, "Why don't you go to bed?"

"But… that's my room," Joren protested, gesturing the door they had just come from.

Alex pursed his lips. "Very well," he said, "Let's go back in."

Slowly Alex turned the door handle, dreading what he would find inside. "Why don't we go to my room?" he suggested.

"I want to be alone," said Joren icily.

Alex turned to the door and pushed. It swung open to reveal Roger jumping on the collapsed table covered in broken crockery. In the corner squatted Merric with his hands over his ears. "STOP IT!" he was screaming, "The pink lemon tea and the strawberry tea and the cinnamon tea and the lamingtons and dark cherry pudding…"

"What's going on?" asked Joren, stunned, still a little breathless.

Ale looked around and noticed with relief that Roger had not been taken down and that there were no bruises on 'Merric's' fair skin… yet.

Merric looked up and saw Joren. Running over to him, he threw his arms around the blond boy and clung onto his tightly.

"Help me!" he cried as Joren stood, poleaxed by the proximity of Merric, who had buried his head into Joren's chest, "Take me away from here! I'm so scared!"

Joren grinned, despite his depression. "Sure," he said.

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there has been no Kel and Neal stuff for the last two chapters, but there will be next time! It's just that they're so boring without Cleon around… but oh well. Will they get a lead on their investigations? Will they figure out at last where Cleon had gone? (A/N: not likely, considering Neal is such an idiot.)