AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow. Can you say really random inspiration? I think this is one in a three-part series of one-shots. I'm not entirely sure what this is, who this is (though Ginny and Draco come to mind), or what it means, but it just happened. I think it's showing that though Ginny loves Draco and he might love her...they just can't. Kind of depressing, actually. It's nonsensical and abstract, so just read. Yeah, and it sucks too.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine unless it doesn't belong to J.K.Rowling.
Long Red Row
I'm stepping down the long red row…I'm not sure where it leads or where I even am. None of that mattered once I saw what was at the end of the row: him. He is my everything. I hate him and loathe him and fear him and detest him with the power that I love him and lust for him and ache for him and care for him. Is it wrong? What I feel? Should I be ashamed and hang my head in sorrow?
All I see is him as I walk down the long red row. I vaguely notice, with utter unimportance, that there are white petals dotting the perfect red that matches the blood pounding more heavily in my heart with every step I take.
I dread this moment and yet long for it as well. The long red row seems even longer now as I doubt what I am here for. But, no. This is what I have come for. I have to know. He sees me now; he must, for he is looking up at me. I can't find hatred in those icy eyes…I can't find anything at all.
Another step I take and wonder at the long red row, and how my footsteps eat away at it. I would do anything not to think of what I'm about to do. I look up again, unable not to, and stare at him once more. He definitely sees me now…he's still whispering to his friends (I don't know their names…I can't see their faces when he is around), but he sees me.
I tug at my skirt, a vague green haze compared to the dazzling red of the long red row below it. I was so careful today, to be at my best. I still feel shabby even on the same row as he.
The long red row looms dauntingly before me…it tells me to go back…to forget…to put all this behind me. I crush it under my foot…I can only barely see it…all that matters now is him. There are trees around us, hanging graceful branches overhead. The white petals on the long red row are falling from their equally stunning white pods…detaching in the wind to swirl around us. There is only us.
The long red row grows shorter and with it, my fears. I am invincible. He is my strength. I'm on top of the world…I can kiss the heavens and brush the clouds. The sun and the moon dangle from my ears like little jewels and the stars light up my eyes. I can see him now, ever so closer. He's waiting for me.
I step up to him. I smile. I tell him. I love him.
He laughs.
The stars make my eyes sting, and constellations begin to well in my eyes. The sun snaps from its tether and falls, searing a hole into the shoulder below it. The moon falls, cold, upon my other, burning with an equal fury. I'm falling…the clouds break apart and I can see the world again.
I'm not quite sure which was worse; the falling or the landing.
His friends are laughing now and I can't move. I'm just standing there, at the end of that long red row, my feet implanted on the bloody path. White hands cut off at the wrist reach for help, their blood long since passed and flowing in the red river at my ankles. Grotesque arms reach down from the essence-less sky, reaching for me, trying to pull me and push me.
I can only stare at him. He is no longer laughing, though his friends still carry on. He's looking at me. I look back at him and see the apology in his eyes. I see the sorrow, the mask, the pain, and the love.
So he did love me.
None of that seems to matter now…the blood tide pulls me away and I'm walking and stumbling, staring back at them, some laughing in cruel mirth, and one in anguished hysteria.
I look back at him once more. A tear falls from his cheek. I nod…an accompanying one falls from my eye. They both fall into the long red row, and drown.
Author's Note: Walking up to him, all she sees is him...walking back, all she sees is hurt.