Disclaimer as usual… lalala… please read, enjoy, have fun.
Chapter 14: Off apple juice
Joren looked at his reflection. The puce vest. It looked stunning.
"You look stunning," said a voice from the doorway.
Joren's heart fluttered as he turned to see Merric leaving against the doorframe.
He stalked over and ran a finger down Merric's plain shirt. "I see you aren't quite dressed for the occasion," he said, "Shall we get you out of these clothes?"
He proceeded to unbutton Merric's shirt.
"Oh Merric," Joren sighed happily as he played with the bunny-shaped buttons.
Merric raised an eyebrow. "You're never going to get my shirt off like that." Merric proceeded to rip his shirt off with such gusto that left Joren's mouth hanging open with desire.
"Wow, Merric," Joren breathed.
"Yeah, I know," drawled Merric carelessly. He strode to Joren's cupboard. "What do we have here…?"
Joren quivered with excitement.
"Aha!" shouted Merric. He brought out a bright yellow suit. "What do you think of this?"
"Huh?" Joren was confused. This wasn't exactly what he had expected…
"Joren!" Merric exclaimed, exasperated. "The ball tonight, remember? You have to help me pick out an outfit."
"But - but I thought…"
"Now, Joren! How about this suit?"
Joren's mind spun. This was meant to be a passionate moment. "Um, it looks great," he said, feeling hurt.
"Come and help me then!"
Joren slowly moved closer to Merric and helped him with his suit.
"Hey Joren," sand Merric, "look what I have!"
"Huh?" said Joren, seeing a tube in Merric's hand. "What's that?"
Immediately he realized but it was too late. Cold, sticky apple juice drenched Joren's least favourite suit. He gasped.
"Get out of bed, Joren!" yelled Merric, "Look, you've wet yourself!"
"I did what?" Joren looked down toward his already muddy pants and saw a large, spreading wet patch. "Oh no!"
"Haha! Joren wet his pants…" Merric chanted.
Joren turned red. He tried to cover himself up but the damage was done.
"Poof! What a stink!" Merric waved a hand in fake disgust. "How could you Joren?"
Ew, thought Joren, ew, ew, ew. "Funny, that," commented Joren, "it doesn't smell at all."
"Yes it does!" insisted Merric, "it stinks like off apple juice!"
"Because it jolly well is off apple juice! You've been squirting it at me haven't you? Just like in my dream!" Joren exclaimed accusingly, and leapt up from the bed.
Merric's lips trembled as he cowed away from Joren on the floor. He looked as if he was about to cry, and Joren saw the error of his ways.
"I'm sorry Merric!" Joren went and put his arms around the boy.
At that very moment, before Merric could protest or Joren could advance his move, the door flung open. "Good morning bedfellows!" boomed a voice, "how do we all feel on this fine day?"
Joren and Merric both turned to look at the intruder. It was Roger, dressed in fresh breeches and shirt, draped in a royal purple cape.
He raised an eyebrow as he stepped into the middle of the room. "Ready for exciting adventures?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Joren stared at him, mouth open.
"I see you are both far too shocked by my beauty," continued Roger, "to respond, so let me do the talking.
"I am Duke Roger of Conté and on this day - "
"Roger!" screamed a voice.
"Uh oh," squeaked Roger, abandoning all pretense. "Must run!" he dived for the nearest window and flew out, his cape billowing out, supporting him.
An instant later Alex ran in, dressed in nothing but a box. "Where did that snake Roger go?" he asked, clearly furious.
"Uh - uhbdia - um - he - uh - he went that way." Said Joren, uncomfortably looking at the floor and pointing in the wrong direction.
"Joren, why are you so awkward?" asked Alex curiously
Joren did not reply, but sat down with his hands folded in his lap. Alex turned his attention to Merric, who gaped back.
"You're - you're not wearing any breeches!" Merric exclaimed, shocked and clearly devastated.
Alex tried to take a step, but as he had not perfected the intricate art of walking with a box on, he fell over onto his face and the box 'conveniently' sliding off his bare body.
Merric, quite obviously appalled at this display of private body parts, pulled the sheets off Joren's bed and threw them on top of Alex. This proved to be an effective cover-up, but the sheets had been drenched with off apple juice.
Alex must have noticed because he turned over to look at them. "Merric!" he cried, "whose sheets are these?"
"Joren's," Merric answered obediently.
"Joren!" scolded Alex, " I thought you were rid of this habit!"
Joren's head snapped up. "I - I didn't! It was Merric, he squirted - "
"It's okay," Alex said patronizingly, "We all learn eventually."
Joren's face darkened. "NO!" he roared, "I did not wet the bed!"
Alex did not appear to hear. He groaned as he dragged the sheets still wrapped around him, down the hall in the direction Joren pointed.
"Merric!" said Joren, his voice filled with urgency, "why did you give him my sheets?"
"No I didn't, I gave him my sheets!" Merric cried indignantly.
"Then why did you say they were my sheets?" Joren stood up and looked down at Merric.
"Because they are you sheets!"
"What?" I'm so confused, Joren thought.
"I'm so confused," came a voice from the doorway.
And I hope you liked that mini cliffie, cos there's more to come! Any guesses to who it is?
Thanks to everyone that reviewed, you are all great, and I don't know what I was doing, but I started this C2 community thing for Tamora Pierce slash, and I'm interested in things like this one which (hopefully) can make you laugh.