Chapter Twenty
Saera lay on her bed on the Gaellia. She'd just come from talking with Luke and Princess Leia and Captain Solo. And Glynn. They'd all sat at one of the mess tables, but the Captain and the Princess had done most of the talking. Luke was oddly quiet. Glynn was oddly quiet. And she knew she had been oddly quiet.
Luke had been a worried quiet. He'd looked like there was something gnawing at him. He almost looked like he was ready to burst from wanting to get something out, but he couldn't and had to think some more. As they'd all parted, Princess Organa for a council meeting, Captain Solo for his ship, Luke for a Rogue Squadron meeting, and herself and Glynn for the Gaellia, Luke had pulled her aside and asked if he could see her later. Alone. He'd given her directions to his quarters. His quarters! She was to show up after he'd done his ship sims or something.
She hadn't told Glynn.
Glynn. Glynn had been...sad quiet. He'd stared morosely at the table in front of him and once when she'd asked him a question it took a few seconds for him to even register that someone had spoken to him. Maybe it was a depressed quiet. He'd certainly hung his head fairly low.
And she'd been...well, Saera had been a guilty quiet. Because that's what she was. Guilty. Guilty of playing with Glynn, with no intention of being serious.
She knew that it was all in her mind, and that there was no way he could possibly care for her as more than a friend, but she'd still led him on. She'd grabbed on to him and held him close, and let him hold her.
She tried to think, what had possessed her to act so stupidly? She was trying to get his arm off? Why hadn't she just told him to quit it?
He could have made a big scene; it would have been embarrassing...
Saera knew she was just making excuses, and pretty pathetic ones at that. Glynn wouldn't make a scene. What was the real reason she'd let him hold her?
It had been nice, that she knew. He'd been warm and comforting and when he held her she got this little bitty fuzzy feeling deep in the pit of her stomach...
Oh, great. It's that stupid 'physical attraction' junk again.
Yes, that was it. It was all pure physical attraction.
Why did it have to happen?
There was no way she could confess to Luke tonight, he might think she was some kind of whore after seeing her arms all draped around Glynn. Why had she done that, stupid, stupid! And tonight had held such promise...
Well she still had to go. It was probably better to take things slowly with Luke, anyway, rather than play the 'I love you, let's make out' card.
At least now she didn't have to try to wear the dress again.
-
Glynn had heard Saera leaving the Gaellia, no matter that she tried to keep quiet. It didn't surprise him; he'd heard her talking with Skywalker earlier. What did surprise him was that he'd actually let her go.
He hadn't interfered again. He'd just let her 'sneak' out. He'd figured out that no matter how much he tried to prevent it, she'd see Skywalker. She'd tell him she desperately loved him. He couldn't stop it.
He though about how she would probably spend the night with Skywalker. It made him feel physically sick. He couldn't sit around on his ship, all alone. He'd drive himself crazy. If he could find someone to talk to...maybe he'd at least be able to get his mind off her. Preferably someone with alcohol...
Solo.
Glynn let himself wander out of the ship and to the docking bay. If he though about it too much he'd probably mess up--best just to let his feet do it all. He didn't have the luxury of thought...
"Solo!" He found himself banging on the entry hatch of the Millennium Falcon. "Solo!"
He heard some movement inside the ship and a few seconds later the hatch was open. He'd been leaning against the thing and had almost fallen flat on his face.
"Oh, it's you, Torshnar. What d'you want?" Solo looked slightly irritated.
Glynn shrugged, wondering himself why he was there. "I just wanted to talk to someone. Bored."
Solo stared him in the eyes. "You look really pathetic."
"What?"
The smuggler sighed. "Come in."
-
"Hi." Saera tried to put emotion, emphasis into that one little word, but she knew it came out warbled.
"Um, hi." Luke was looking at her strangely. He'd just opened the door to his quarters. She could see they were small, cramped, and were shared with another rebel who wasn't present. "Well, come in. Sorry, it's the only place we can talk privately." He seemed embarrassed.
She went in and, not wanting to sit on his or his roommate's bed, leaned against a wall. "So, why am I here?"
Saera, I'm worried," he blurted out.
"Um, OK..."
"Well, I mean, it's not really my place to say or anything like that, but..." he dropped his eyes. "It's just...you and Glynn. How well do you know him?"
"What do you mean? I hired him on Tatooine over three months ago, most of which we spent cooped up in a small ship in hyperspace. I think I know him pretty well."
"But do you really know all that much about him? Saera, I know you like him, but I just don't know if you should be so--"
"What are you trying to say?"
"I just don't want you to get hurt, and I can tell that you guys--"
"You think he's a bad person? What do you mean, you know I like him?"
"I just got the impression that you two were a couple." Luke seemed embarrassed that she was so annoyed, apologetic, awkward, all the things that used to endear him to her, but now she felt only anger. How dare he? Questioning Glynn! He didn't know him, didn't know the first thing about him!
"We are not a couple, we are very good friends. Nothing more. And you have no right to be talking about Glynn like that. Of course I know him! And if you did, you'd know how silly you sound."
"I'm sorry, Saera. I was just...worried." His eyes pleaded, but it just irritated her even more. Forcing herself to calm down, she talked sweetly.
"What is there to be worried about?"
"Well," he said, slightly suspicious of her new tone, "It's just that you two were so...openly showing couple-like behavior."
"Oh, you mean that thing in the hall? Luke, that wasn't couple behavior!" She laughed, relieved, at him and herself and both of them together. "OK, so maybe it was. But that's not how we meant it! We were just joking around. He was...teasing me, so I teased him back."
Luke looked slightly relieved, but not enough. "You're sure? I mean, do you know if you can talk for him, too? I'm sorry, Saera, I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"Luke, Luke." She crossed the very tiny room and touched his cheek. "You're worrying too much. It's cute, but you should save yourself the hassle. I'm fine."
He was gazing at her, slightly bewildered, seeming like this was the first time he'd noticed that she was a girl.
Not a girl. I'm a woman. What would I do as a woman?
She would seize the moment and kiss him passionately. But the tiniest flicker of her that was still a girl held her back, for some reason thinking of Glynn and his laughing navy blue eyes.
Maybe it was her conscience.
"I've missed you, Luke. You have no idea, how terrible it was when I found out about your homestead. I though you were dead. And then I found out you weren't. That's why I'm here, I never answered that question. I came to find you." She whispered the last word.
"I'm glad you came." His face suddenly loomed huge in front of her.
He's going to kiss me!
She'd waited for this moment her whole life, imagined it thousands of time sin her head. But no matter how the scene played out, one thing was always the same. She and Luke had pledged their undying love for each other. And right now, she didn't feel like it was the time or place.
Before their lips met, she turned the attempted kiss into a hug. She hoped that she hadn't ruined her chances because of it. She told herself it was because she hadn't told Luke she had loved him yet.
Not because the blue eyes she thought of still weren't Luke's.
Freetrader: Chapter Nineteen - Aw, thanks! You said Glynn was cool. But, you have to pick on the cool characters, or angst is no good, because no one cares. And I lied, by the way. Actually, I just didn't know how it was going to work out. But the major Glynn-angst starts next chapter.
Chapter One - Aw, I would never delete a review! And your threats did work: see! Chapter twenty! But I cracked up SOOO hard when I read that! I'm sorry, but your threats are very funny :)