Danger Lurks in the Shadows
Here's another chapter. Please, read and review! ^_^
Chapter 8: In the thick of things
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John Carter rubbed his eyes and sighed, sadness, frustration, and stress etched all over his face. The young and usually vibrant doctor seemed to have aged by the hour. He looked haggard, with the bags under his eyes and the stubbles on his chin. He stood up, and silently paced the room for a few minutes. After a while, he sat down again, and stared off into space.
Carter's POV:
So this is how it feels like to die… Time would just suddenly stop, and the next thing you'll know, you find it hard to breath. Your heart starts to ache each time it beats, as if someone is squeezing the life out of it. And then when you try pulling yourself from it, you see the room spinning wildly around you. The harder you try to resist, the harder it pulls you down, like quicksand. There's no escape, and you fall deeper, deeper, until it consumes you. You cannot see, you cannot feel, you barely exist. You realize that humanity is being stripped from you inch, by inch, by inch…
I've been sitting here for hours, and that's how it feels like, every time I gaze at your still form. Something inside me slowly dies, along with each second that passes. Ironic isn't it? You lie there, peaceful, silent, calm, as you fight for your own life, while I, as fit as I can be, sit here in torment, pain, and anguish.
Before I came here tonight I promised myself one thing: I would absolutely do nothing. I thought to myself, no, I will not sit here and blame myself for this. I will pretend that I don't feel jealous, and left out of your life just because of him. I will pretend that I never wished that it was me, instead of Luka, who have been there for you. I wouldn't question why he always seems to be there for you in times like this, while I, as usual, am nowhere to be found. Instead, I will just simply sit here, in silence. I will sit here and wait for you to tell me that everything will be alright. For how long, I don't know. It may be hours, days, weeks...; frankly, I don't care. I'll still wait; that's what I would do.
To suffer here in silence… it is a very steep price to pay indeed. But it's something I am willing to do, forever, if necessary. Foolish? No, because if I don't, then how would you know how much I truly love you?
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Meanwhile, another figure stood alone out in the hallway. His gaze fixed on the window, on the same person John Carter had been staring at since he arrived.
Luka let out a frustrated sigh. He shifted his weight to his other foot, and looked around uncomfortably. He noticed that some of the nurses and other people on the hallway had been giving him strange stares. It's probably because he had been standing for a good half an hour, just staring. Perhaps they are all wondering why he wouldn't enter the room and save him the trouble instead.
Luka ignored all their stares, and glanced back inside the room.
Luka's POV:
"… You're not that pretty; you're not that special…"
Those words, those bitter words, how I wished I could take them back. I never meant to hurt you, not once, not ever. But I did, and I hate myself for that.
Like the song goes, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". That's exactly how I feel right now. It's funny, really, because I knew you weren't mine to begin with. Never was, and probably never will be. Right from the start, your heart was with Carter. You just haven't realized it yet back then. Physically, yes, we were together, but that was about it. Your connection with him was much deeper than what we had, and it was something that I only wished the two of us had instead…
I look back and tried to find a reason for this 'sad' predicament, as others would call it. But even then, I knew, there was no one to blame but myself. If I haven't been so caught up with my own sad emotions, I would have noticed how hard you tried to reach out to me. I wouldn't have taken you for granted, like I sometimes did. I would have taken down the barriers I created, and bared to you my life, my soul. I wouldn't have pushed you away, and said those words to you… Most all, I wouldn't have to stand here, outside, alone, wishing that it was me there inside with you.
Last night, I was there because I was waiting for you. I was trying to get close to you, and I was confused more that ever. But now, now I understand. I finally realized something that has been there from the start, but I was too blind to see it. Yesterday's attack, me standing here outside – this is as close as I can get with you. I could save you from a thousand things for a thousand times, but when it all comes down to it, it doesn't really matter. It would not change a thing; it wouldn't make you love me. Your heart would still belong to him…
Maybe this is my punishment for all the things that I have done, to be able to love you from afar, in silence and regret, bittersweet, I know. To love you like this is my greatest joy, and yet at the same time my greatest sorrow. A great philosopher once said that there is no sorrow which length of time does not diminish and soften. But then, what happens if your sorrow is caused by the only joy you only know?
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**Ring, ring**
"What is it?"
"We have a problem – someone did a job on her, a pretty good one. She ended up on the hospital."
"Who is it?"
"I don't know, probably just some psycho."
"… How long do you think will she be on that hospital?"
"What am I, her doctor?! I don't know! All I know is the longer she stays there, the longer it is for us to get what we want."
"… Then I guess we have to wait."
"If I had my way, I would have done exactly like that –"
"We had a deal! Don't forget that! If you want me to keep my end of the bargain, then you have to keep yours."
"You bastard! Just make sure I'll get what I came for, or I will have your head for this."
"Trust me."
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I am SO sorry for this late update. School work has just caught up with me so I wasn't able to post a chapter. Hope you enjoy this. Don't forget to post a review! Thanks! ^_^