Freetrader! (SPOILERS!) DON'T WORRY! I won't kill Glynn. Now breathe...in, out, in, out...
Chapter Twenty-Three
"So what should we do now?" Saera caught a glimpse of Luke's smile as she twisted her head up to see him as he asked.
"I don't know, find somewhere new to sit?"
"Have you become boring in you old age, Saera?"
"No! Just more...placid, maybe."
"I knew it. That's another word for boring!" He grinned teasingly down at her.
"No it's not! Placid means clam and tranquil, like a glassy lake on a still cay.
"Ha. Like a glassy lake on a still day. I'll believe it when I see it."
"I can be more glassy than you'll ever be, Luke Skywalker!"
"I'm sure," he laughed.
"You bet your X-Wing!"
"Never!" He placed his hand over his heart in mock shock. "The boys in Rogue Squadron would rip me to shreds! Not mention owing the Alliance all those credits."
"Don't worry, I'd give it back."
There was a knock at the door that shocked her into jumping up and off the bed. "Come it!" she yelled quickly, not quite thinking. The door opened to Glynn, looking defeated, worse than when she' last seen him. At first he seemed surprised to see Luke on the bed, then a little resigned to it.
"Whatever you guys are doing, don't do it on my ship."
"We weren't, um--" she tried to explain, flustered, but realized that he didn't seem to care. "We were just sitting around."
"Whatever. Look, someone called, wants to see you down at the mess hall. Solo, yeah, it was Solo."
"I guess I better leave..." Luke looked a little reluctant, but not like he'd wanted to get in Glynn's way. "I'll see you later..."
"She should go too. Uh, he wants her there. Yeah. Go."
"Great." She reached out and took Luke's hand, noticing as she did so that Glynn winced. "Are you OK, Glynn?"
"Oh, sure, why wouldn't I be?" His voice was almost neutral except for the slightest hint of sarcasm.
"Well...bye then." He seemed indifferent. It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did. It was obvious that Luke was completely off the mark on this one.
"I told you he had it bad," Luke said, dropping her hand as she grabbed her coat and they headed out the door of the Gaellia. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and she couldn't grab one again.
"What are you talking about?"
"Glynn. He feels something for you, Saera, I just know it."
"Oh, I'm sure. Could you not see him completely ignoring me?"
"He was distant, not disinterested. He looked hurt. He looked like part of him died."
"Do you even hear what's coming out of your mouth?" she asked, incredulous.
"Hey, it's just what I think. Take it or leave it. I'm not asking you to do anything drastic, but next time you get the chance, talk to him. If you really consider him a friend, maybe you can help him."
"Of course I'll talk to him. I just didn't know anything was wrong."
"Now who's ignoring whom?"
A few minutes later they reached the mess hall. It was pretty deserted, being mid-afternoon. In fact, the only reason Luke wasn't off in a sim or something was because he'd just gotten back from a mission.
"I don't think he's coming," Saera sighed half a time part later. She and Luke had been talking about random thins, so they hadn't noticed time, but now it was obvious that Han Solo was not going to appear. "Maybe it was just a mistake."
"Hmn, I don't really care if he's not coming. It's great just talking by ourselves." He smiled at her, and she felt her heart beat a little faster. "It's nice just to be with you again. I really did miss you, like I knew I would."
"Then...then why haven't you tried to talk to me before? Why didn't you tell me where you were going, at least that you weren't dead!" He seemed surprised by this and, truthfully, she didn't know what she was thinking. Just let him go on, don't interrupt! You could have been getting somewhere, and you just blew it!
"I...was very confused. I didn't know what to do. Ben wanted to leave the second it was possible. I didn't have time to do anything but jump on for the ride. And the, before I knew it, I was part of the Alliance, and you know what their sec is like."
Yeah, real great. "Did you ever, once think about me? While you were on one of your "missions," while you were having a good time with Captain Solo and the Princess?"
"Well--"
"I though about you every day. I thought about you every second. These past three months, all I've done is look for you. But did you ever think of me?"
"Saera, I'm sorry. Truthfully, I did think about you sometimes, but not as often as I should have. Maybe you wasted your time coming to look for me. I don't think I deserve that kind of devotion from you."
"Luke, don't say that! Of course you deserve it, you're the only one! You're perfect!" What was she doing? "You've always been perfect. I've always loved you."
"What?"
"I've always loved you." It felt so strange, saying it, but now it was finally off her chest and she could breathe.
"Platonically, right?" His eyes were wide and his jaw somewhat disconnected from the rest of his face.
"No," she whispered.
"Saera, I...I don't know what to say."
"What do you mean?" She could feel her eyes misting up.
"Well, I can't tell you that I feel the same way, because I don't know if I do. The past week or so has been so confusing. I feel something, I just don't know what. It's strange, I...I need to think for a second." He held his hand over his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. "You love me?"
"Can't you see that? I've always loved you! Ever since I can remember! Before i even knew what it was to love! Luke, please say something! I can't bear this." She was in tears. Right now, she didn't feel like she was in love. She just felt sick in the pit of her stomach. It was horrid.
"Saera...I...don't love you." He looked at her apologetically. "I wish I could save you the pain, but I don't think I'll ever love you like that. I'm so sorry."
She waited for the pang, the agonizing pain, but it didn't come. Why wasn't she feeling anything? Was it possible...that she didn't truly love him? That Glynn had been right, it was just a schoolgirl infatuation, and all of this was for nothing?
She felt suddenly cold and shoved her hands into her pockets, shivering. Something thin and cleanly cut crumpled slightly in her finger. She pulled it out. On the front was her name, in Glynn's handwriting. She opened the note and read. Emotions flooded her, she was pouring out tears, and she was realizing. She was realizing.
At the last line the flimsy slid from her shaking fingers.
"Luke, I have to go. Glynn. I--I have to go."
He didn't look like he understood completely, but at the same time was slowly nodding. "Go to him. He loves you, Saera."
"I know."
-
As Saera ran out the door, Luke slowly picked up the slip of flimsy. He shouldn't be reading a private note, but her had a feeling he could help with whatever was going on, and that he already knew everything written about. He started.
Saera--
I love you. There. I said it. Took me long enough. Every second I'm with you I want to scream it out, but I guess I'm too much of a coward. What if you rejected me? I couldn't live; you've got me woven around your finger so much. And when you're with HIM...Saera, the thought of you and HIM, "loving" each other, it makes me crazy. I don't think I'm ever going to get over this. You're the first woman I've ever loved, and I think you'll be the last. Gods, how can I be so stupid, I've let you get away! If I wasn't such a damn coward...but no. You would've chosen him anyway, wouldn't you?
I can't do this anymore, this pretending to be sane. Your things are in HIS room, that's probable where you'll sleep now, anyway. Why HIM? Why love HIM? He's not that special. He doesn't love you, not really. I could have loved you so much, if I'd had a chance. I do love you so much...I don't know. I think I'm beginning to lose my ability to think. I'm leaving, and I'm gone forever.
He'd known it. He should have said something more. But that wasn't important now. What was important now was that Saera get to the Gaellia before Glynn jetted out of there forever.
As he ran to where he was needed, he urged Saera on with the Force. He knew it wasn't much, he knew it might not even help. But it was worth a try.
-
He was gone.
He'd just gotten his clearance to leave. A few more minutes and he'd be in hyperspace, away from this wretched planet. A few more minutes, and he was gone.
-
Saera ran. She'd never run this much or this hard in her entire life. She was starting to cramp, she was getting out of breath, but she ran, focusing on one thing. She had to get to Glynn. She had to tell him that she loved him. She knew no that she did. Suddenly, it had become the most important thing in the universe to let him know that she loved him.
-
Glynn did the pre-flight checks. Everything was fine. He started the Gaellia's engines, slowly. The thrum of her heart somewhat soothed him, but nowhere near enough. He keyed in with the traffic controller. He was OK. He gently lifter her off the ground and short her up into space. He sat there for a bit. Something started to beep, but he didn't care. He didn't care about his ship. He was too deep in his brooding. He punched in random coordinates--he didn't know where to go. Without her, he was lost.
-
Saera saw the hangar door and put on a burst of speed she didn't know she had. Panting, she opened the door. The Gaellia wasn't there. It wasn't there. She collapsed to the floor and looked up. Glynn's ship was slowly receding into space. She had been so close, but he was gone. He was gone, forever and ever, and he wasn't coming back. She began to sob. Everything was over. He was gone. Everything was over.
BWAHAHA! Feel my evil!
Freetrader - I was merely commenting that I thought that Glynn should die a tragic death! I'm telling you, Shakespeare knew how to kill his heroes...heh heh. Jango Fett. Aw, thanks! you don't think I'm a clueless loser! But I am a loser. :P Yeah, I kinda got mad at Saera too...but she's hormonal and obsessed. She doesn't know what she's talking about.Plus, she's really stubborn, and kind of a spoiled brat sometimes. But less and less, as she got to know Glynn. ;) And see, I DID pick on her, as promised! And the bowl WAS evil! It was the SPAWN of SATAN! OK, I'll calm down now...