"You must accept," a strange voice rang in my head, "the entirety of your memories." The voice was a woman's, or even a girl's. I did not recognize who it could have belonged to, though. But there was a lingering familiarity in her tone that alarmed me. But, seemingly as soon as I heard the strange voice, I felt consciousness slipping back upon me. Reluctantly, I left the blackness of my subconscious and slowly came aware of my new surroundings. The soft blades of what could only be grass played in the wind around me, and my back was up against the rough bark of a tree. I forced my eyes open, and they beheld the silent scene of a verdant canopy, dull sunlight filtering lazily through the round leaves. Dust motes dabbled in the warm rays of light, and a light, fragrant breeze floated by whimsically. The damp smell of rain filled me, as if a brief storm had recently passed by. But it was neither of these things that attracted my attention.
MOMO was crying.
Each new sob brought an ache to my heart. Her knees curled under her, in an almost fetal position. As if trying to stem the flow of wet tears down her face, her hands were at her eyes. But even they could not hold back the emotions within her, spilling down her cheeks and splashing upon the green grass below her. I wished with every atom within me that I could help her. Every single part of me wanted only to take those tears and make them gone. If only I could help her. But I couldn't. I knew this. As hard as I could have tried, I could not take away the fact that she had seen her father die before her very eyes. I knew what she felt.
She must have felt that there could have been a way she could have saved him. If only she would have done one thing -the tiniest thing- her father might be standing with her. It was exactly what I felt. My step-son. I should have been able to do something- anything. But I couldn't. MOMO couldn't avert the death of Joachim Mizrahi any more than I could avert the death of my step-son. Mine in every way but blood.
The shifting of grass told me that Jr. was alert as well. I turned my eyes slightly to see him, slowly approaching the weeping form of MOMO. He raised his hand, tentatively, and set it comfortingly on MOMO's shoulder. His fingers squeezed her shoulder so gently, and I heard a break in her lamentation.
"Jr.," her voice broke, and her tears continued. Jr. tried his best to smile for her, to try to pull the sadness from her face. I thought it a shame that she had not seen such a smile, for she surely would have returned it, as sad as it would have been. I pushed myself to my feet, and I realized that my whole body ached, as if I had suffered from a hard fall. As MOMO's sobs slowed, maybe by the comfort that Jr. bestowed upon her, I cracked all the joints in my fingers and the wrist of my right hand. As I did so, I heard more disturbing of the grass behind me.
Quickly, I spun around, putting myself between the approaching figures and Jr. and MOMO. Whatever it was, it was taking its time. Perhaps it hadn't even noticed our presence yet? Slowly, the figures came into view, and I was astonished.
Shion, Allen and chaos.
I felt relief spread through me like a warm drink on a cold night. Thank God they were alright. Shion's bright green eyes focused past us, forward on the apparent path they seemed to be walking, then she must have seen us out of the corner of her eye, for she started violently.
"Jr.?!" she cried, spotting his vibrant red hair first and foremost, "How did you all get here...?" Jr. glanced at MOMO, as if making sure that she was alright, then began walking toward Shion.
"Beats me," he told her truthfully. I knew we had speculations, but we could not be sure about anything in this place. "As soon as you dived, everything went all hazy, and the next thing I knew, we were here. After that, there were all sorts of visions..." He trailed off, that same darkness coming to his eyes I had seen when the U.R.T.V. had passed us.
"Did we all get pulled into the Chief's Encephalon dive?" Allen asked, as if he'd had the same assumption that I'd had. about the whole affair. Shion gave him and incredulous look.
"That's impossible," she retorted, "None of you were connected."
"If KOS-MOS' oscillation pulse caused a counter-current to flow through the Dive Unit, it's not inconceivable. The ones we use are non-contact types, after all." Allen explained, more to Shion than us, I suspected, for I only caught bits and pieces of the phrases.
"Even if that were the case," Shion mused, "the Simple Dive Unit couldn't handle that great a load. There would have to be some other, external force..." She looked to her feet, as if remembering something. As if sensing a lull in the conversation, chaos inserted himself into it.
"Regardless of how we got here, this is KOS-MOS' mainframe. Our memories found a common resonance within her, and resulted in the creation of this world..." chaos paused. "That's what it feels like to me," he added as an afterthought. Allen, his face a jumbled mess of confusion, tried to clarify what chaos had just said.
"But, I don't remember ever being in a place like this," he said, a hint of a groan in his voice. As before, chaos seemed to know more than he let on.
"I wonder if perhaps memories - in other words, events that occurred in the past - become stronger, more selective, and gain a higher priority when they resonate with others that share identical axes in time and space." I could only silently agree with him on this point, remembering that both Jr., MOMO and I had some roots in Miltia. "If you think about it in those terms, it isn't quite so odd that both my memories and those of Allen are not reflected here." chaos finished, and I nodded.
"So," I started, "what you're saying is this world is constantly changing based on the experiences people share in time and space?" chaos nodded, a smile forming on his face.
"A world made up of our past, as glimpsed through the mind of KOS- MOS..." Jr. murmured. MOMO, who had been listening but not intervening the whole conversation, decided to speak.
"So...it's all an illusion...?" Her voice, still weary from crying, seemed to hold something like the glimmer of hope. Perhaps she wondered if the whole ordeal with her father was nothing but a simple mirage of sorts. Shion shook her head sadly.
"There's no difference between illusion and reality to the person experiencing it. This is...no illusion..." It sounded to me like Shion had also experienced something nerve-wracking in this place, or at least something to make her face blanch and her eyebrows arch upward in sorrow. She sighed loudly, and looked down the path, the way she had been headed before she found us. "So that's hat she meant," she whispered to herself.
Without even a plan, we all seemed to think heading down the path and toward the crumbling building at its end would be the best course of action. As we neared the building, we found it to be a sort of church, built low to the ground and with a dark, crumbling stone. I was reminded instantly of the asteroid Pleroma, where I had seen a shrine uncannily like the church I saw now. Or perhaps I was just associating the two at random. Whether I did or not, the thought of Pleroma brought on thoughts of MOMO, who I found to be walking not far behind me. I deliberately slowed my pace until I was walking in step with her. It was painful to see her beautiful eyes swollen with tears.
"MOMO," I said in a low whisper. She looked up, seemingly surprised, as if she hadn't noticed me. I realized then that I did not know what to say to her. I didn't know whether to try to comfort her, or to ask whether she was feeling better. I had no idea what to tell her. Words failed me, and I searched frantically for anything to fill the silence which now had instated itself. Finally, the only words I could form spilled from my mouth. "I'm sorry."
I didn't know if I was sorry for her loss or sorry that I couldn't comfort her. It could even be that I was sorry that I couldn't think of anything better to say to her. But she must have taken her own meaning, for she nodded.
"It's okay, Ziggy," she told me, though her eyes told the truth. She was still crying inside. As a seemingly useless gesture of consolation, I put my arm around her shoulders. She gazed up, her red, tear-stained eyes searching mine. Then, finally, a smile tugged minutely at the corners of her mouth. That was all I needed. All I needed was her smile, and it was as if all the troubles of the world were as nothing.
Shion was the first to suggest we go into the church. Upon examination, I found that there was no signs that the building would collapse, so I told her that it would be safe to enter. She pushed the wooden door open, and all of us, one by one, made our way into the dark church. There were no lights inside. Only sunlight pouring through the sieve-like stained glass windows shed any light on the innards of the building. Hazy motes of dust drifted through the light, which spilled on the floor in a multi-colored puddle. The first thing I noticed that, down the isle lined by old wooden pews, was a woman. She was knelt before the altar, her head bowed in silent prayer. Her shock white hair stood out against her bleak and dismal surroundings.
"Someone's here," Allen said quietly. "Those clothes...is she a Realian?"
"Yes," MOMO said from beside me. "She definitely seems to be a Realian, but...I also sense something different..." As MOMO said this, the woman got to her feet and turned to face us. On her face was a warm, welcoming smile that seemed to beckon us to come further into the innards of the dark church.
"Is this based on one of our memories, too, Chief?" Allen asked Shion. When she made no answer, he turned from the strange woman to his superior. "...Chief?" Shion's eyes never left the woman.
Seeing that she was now aware of us, I stepped forward, posing the question we had been discussing.
"Are you a Realian?" I asked as politely as I could. The woman nodded, her golden eyes never leaving Shion's form.
"Yes," she told us. "My name is Febronia. I came to take care of this church because I longed for a place where Realians could find peace." As if the name struck a chord, Shion suddenly spoke again.
"Febronia..." Shion muttered.
"Do you know her?" Jr. asked, trying not to take his eyes from Febronia. Shion nodded slowly.
"I...I know you... I...know...you...! But...no... I don't want to remember.." She paused, throwing her hands to her face in horror. "It's...it's..."
Febronia only smiled. In the dim light of the church and the sudden change in Shion's demeanor, Febronia's smile took on a somewhat sinister quality.
"Follow me, Shion," Febronia called, standing next to an old wooden door. Shion reluctantly followed the Realian woman with her eyes. A voice melted through the dense air then. This time, it was a voice I knew. It was the same strange voice I had heard before. Only this time, I could see its owner.
"The instant you open that door," the small girl with long auburn hair said in her quiet tone, "you will come face to face with yourselves. It will be an experience full of sorrow and pain...But it is, both to you and to us, a very, very important experience." She seemed to be looking at all of us at once, and it was not comfort I felt, but a small twinge of fear. Was she saying this to me? Who was she speaking to? How could she know about my memories? Accept my memories... That's what she had said to me before.
All I knew was that it was easier said than done.
Shion, timid though she seemed, bravely approached the door. What lay beyond, none of us knew, save for the mysterious girl who had spoken to me once. Memories. I would be only too happy to be rid of those memories for good.
"You must accept the entirety of your memories," the same voice came inside my head.
Accept my memories?
What did she mean?
It was at that moment that Shion decided to open the door.
MOMO was crying.
Each new sob brought an ache to my heart. Her knees curled under her, in an almost fetal position. As if trying to stem the flow of wet tears down her face, her hands were at her eyes. But even they could not hold back the emotions within her, spilling down her cheeks and splashing upon the green grass below her. I wished with every atom within me that I could help her. Every single part of me wanted only to take those tears and make them gone. If only I could help her. But I couldn't. I knew this. As hard as I could have tried, I could not take away the fact that she had seen her father die before her very eyes. I knew what she felt.
She must have felt that there could have been a way she could have saved him. If only she would have done one thing -the tiniest thing- her father might be standing with her. It was exactly what I felt. My step-son. I should have been able to do something- anything. But I couldn't. MOMO couldn't avert the death of Joachim Mizrahi any more than I could avert the death of my step-son. Mine in every way but blood.
The shifting of grass told me that Jr. was alert as well. I turned my eyes slightly to see him, slowly approaching the weeping form of MOMO. He raised his hand, tentatively, and set it comfortingly on MOMO's shoulder. His fingers squeezed her shoulder so gently, and I heard a break in her lamentation.
"Jr.," her voice broke, and her tears continued. Jr. tried his best to smile for her, to try to pull the sadness from her face. I thought it a shame that she had not seen such a smile, for she surely would have returned it, as sad as it would have been. I pushed myself to my feet, and I realized that my whole body ached, as if I had suffered from a hard fall. As MOMO's sobs slowed, maybe by the comfort that Jr. bestowed upon her, I cracked all the joints in my fingers and the wrist of my right hand. As I did so, I heard more disturbing of the grass behind me.
Quickly, I spun around, putting myself between the approaching figures and Jr. and MOMO. Whatever it was, it was taking its time. Perhaps it hadn't even noticed our presence yet? Slowly, the figures came into view, and I was astonished.
Shion, Allen and chaos.
I felt relief spread through me like a warm drink on a cold night. Thank God they were alright. Shion's bright green eyes focused past us, forward on the apparent path they seemed to be walking, then she must have seen us out of the corner of her eye, for she started violently.
"Jr.?!" she cried, spotting his vibrant red hair first and foremost, "How did you all get here...?" Jr. glanced at MOMO, as if making sure that she was alright, then began walking toward Shion.
"Beats me," he told her truthfully. I knew we had speculations, but we could not be sure about anything in this place. "As soon as you dived, everything went all hazy, and the next thing I knew, we were here. After that, there were all sorts of visions..." He trailed off, that same darkness coming to his eyes I had seen when the U.R.T.V. had passed us.
"Did we all get pulled into the Chief's Encephalon dive?" Allen asked, as if he'd had the same assumption that I'd had. about the whole affair. Shion gave him and incredulous look.
"That's impossible," she retorted, "None of you were connected."
"If KOS-MOS' oscillation pulse caused a counter-current to flow through the Dive Unit, it's not inconceivable. The ones we use are non-contact types, after all." Allen explained, more to Shion than us, I suspected, for I only caught bits and pieces of the phrases.
"Even if that were the case," Shion mused, "the Simple Dive Unit couldn't handle that great a load. There would have to be some other, external force..." She looked to her feet, as if remembering something. As if sensing a lull in the conversation, chaos inserted himself into it.
"Regardless of how we got here, this is KOS-MOS' mainframe. Our memories found a common resonance within her, and resulted in the creation of this world..." chaos paused. "That's what it feels like to me," he added as an afterthought. Allen, his face a jumbled mess of confusion, tried to clarify what chaos had just said.
"But, I don't remember ever being in a place like this," he said, a hint of a groan in his voice. As before, chaos seemed to know more than he let on.
"I wonder if perhaps memories - in other words, events that occurred in the past - become stronger, more selective, and gain a higher priority when they resonate with others that share identical axes in time and space." I could only silently agree with him on this point, remembering that both Jr., MOMO and I had some roots in Miltia. "If you think about it in those terms, it isn't quite so odd that both my memories and those of Allen are not reflected here." chaos finished, and I nodded.
"So," I started, "what you're saying is this world is constantly changing based on the experiences people share in time and space?" chaos nodded, a smile forming on his face.
"A world made up of our past, as glimpsed through the mind of KOS- MOS..." Jr. murmured. MOMO, who had been listening but not intervening the whole conversation, decided to speak.
"So...it's all an illusion...?" Her voice, still weary from crying, seemed to hold something like the glimmer of hope. Perhaps she wondered if the whole ordeal with her father was nothing but a simple mirage of sorts. Shion shook her head sadly.
"There's no difference between illusion and reality to the person experiencing it. This is...no illusion..." It sounded to me like Shion had also experienced something nerve-wracking in this place, or at least something to make her face blanch and her eyebrows arch upward in sorrow. She sighed loudly, and looked down the path, the way she had been headed before she found us. "So that's hat she meant," she whispered to herself.
Without even a plan, we all seemed to think heading down the path and toward the crumbling building at its end would be the best course of action. As we neared the building, we found it to be a sort of church, built low to the ground and with a dark, crumbling stone. I was reminded instantly of the asteroid Pleroma, where I had seen a shrine uncannily like the church I saw now. Or perhaps I was just associating the two at random. Whether I did or not, the thought of Pleroma brought on thoughts of MOMO, who I found to be walking not far behind me. I deliberately slowed my pace until I was walking in step with her. It was painful to see her beautiful eyes swollen with tears.
"MOMO," I said in a low whisper. She looked up, seemingly surprised, as if she hadn't noticed me. I realized then that I did not know what to say to her. I didn't know whether to try to comfort her, or to ask whether she was feeling better. I had no idea what to tell her. Words failed me, and I searched frantically for anything to fill the silence which now had instated itself. Finally, the only words I could form spilled from my mouth. "I'm sorry."
I didn't know if I was sorry for her loss or sorry that I couldn't comfort her. It could even be that I was sorry that I couldn't think of anything better to say to her. But she must have taken her own meaning, for she nodded.
"It's okay, Ziggy," she told me, though her eyes told the truth. She was still crying inside. As a seemingly useless gesture of consolation, I put my arm around her shoulders. She gazed up, her red, tear-stained eyes searching mine. Then, finally, a smile tugged minutely at the corners of her mouth. That was all I needed. All I needed was her smile, and it was as if all the troubles of the world were as nothing.
Shion was the first to suggest we go into the church. Upon examination, I found that there was no signs that the building would collapse, so I told her that it would be safe to enter. She pushed the wooden door open, and all of us, one by one, made our way into the dark church. There were no lights inside. Only sunlight pouring through the sieve-like stained glass windows shed any light on the innards of the building. Hazy motes of dust drifted through the light, which spilled on the floor in a multi-colored puddle. The first thing I noticed that, down the isle lined by old wooden pews, was a woman. She was knelt before the altar, her head bowed in silent prayer. Her shock white hair stood out against her bleak and dismal surroundings.
"Someone's here," Allen said quietly. "Those clothes...is she a Realian?"
"Yes," MOMO said from beside me. "She definitely seems to be a Realian, but...I also sense something different..." As MOMO said this, the woman got to her feet and turned to face us. On her face was a warm, welcoming smile that seemed to beckon us to come further into the innards of the dark church.
"Is this based on one of our memories, too, Chief?" Allen asked Shion. When she made no answer, he turned from the strange woman to his superior. "...Chief?" Shion's eyes never left the woman.
Seeing that she was now aware of us, I stepped forward, posing the question we had been discussing.
"Are you a Realian?" I asked as politely as I could. The woman nodded, her golden eyes never leaving Shion's form.
"Yes," she told us. "My name is Febronia. I came to take care of this church because I longed for a place where Realians could find peace." As if the name struck a chord, Shion suddenly spoke again.
"Febronia..." Shion muttered.
"Do you know her?" Jr. asked, trying not to take his eyes from Febronia. Shion nodded slowly.
"I...I know you... I...know...you...! But...no... I don't want to remember.." She paused, throwing her hands to her face in horror. "It's...it's..."
Febronia only smiled. In the dim light of the church and the sudden change in Shion's demeanor, Febronia's smile took on a somewhat sinister quality.
"Follow me, Shion," Febronia called, standing next to an old wooden door. Shion reluctantly followed the Realian woman with her eyes. A voice melted through the dense air then. This time, it was a voice I knew. It was the same strange voice I had heard before. Only this time, I could see its owner.
"The instant you open that door," the small girl with long auburn hair said in her quiet tone, "you will come face to face with yourselves. It will be an experience full of sorrow and pain...But it is, both to you and to us, a very, very important experience." She seemed to be looking at all of us at once, and it was not comfort I felt, but a small twinge of fear. Was she saying this to me? Who was she speaking to? How could she know about my memories? Accept my memories... That's what she had said to me before.
All I knew was that it was easier said than done.
Shion, timid though she seemed, bravely approached the door. What lay beyond, none of us knew, save for the mysterious girl who had spoken to me once. Memories. I would be only too happy to be rid of those memories for good.
"You must accept the entirety of your memories," the same voice came inside my head.
Accept my memories?
What did she mean?
It was at that moment that Shion decided to open the door.