A.N.: I really, thoroughly apologize for the total crack involved in this fic. It started off inspired by Ocean's popsicle epics (as I like to call them), and then spiraled off into this. It had a plot at one point. Really. I'm serious. I just . . . lost it somewhere along the way. Regardless, hope you enjoy.

Anything in "/" is talking telepathically, through the puzzle. "Aibou" means "partner". By the way, does anyone know why the HECK FF is no longer allowing a question mark followed by an exclamation mark to show up anymore?

Disclaimer: If I owned Kazuki Takahashi's skill, much less his manga, there is no chance in heck I'd be up at one in the morning writing this fic.

Heat of the Moment

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon

—"Pinch Me", Bare Naked Ladies

Y.y.Y.y.Y.y.Y.y.Y--

"It's so hot."

"Well, what do you expect? You know what midsummer is like around here."

"Aibou, you're supposed to agree with me, then sympathize."

"I'll agree with the agreeing part, but you're complaining more than I usually do, Yami. That doesn't exactly inspire sympathy."

"Don't give me that look! It's true."

Chuckle. "I'm getting some lemonade. You want some?"

"The only thing I want is a popsicle."

"I told you already, we're out. You ate them all."

"That was three days ago. We should have more by now."

"They don't appear by magic, Yami. You have to go out and buy them, and we haven't been shopping yet. All we have are freezies."

"Don't you dare think about trying to use shadow magic to make popsicles."

"And why not?"

"Because!"

"'Because' isn't a reason, Yuugi."

"Because . . . ! You . . . you're not supposed use it for something like that, that's why! . . . Can you even actually do that?"

"You don't have to smirk that hard."

"I'm sorry, should I have laughed instead?"

Grumble. "Why do you want a popsicle so bad, anyway?"

"Because it's hot."

"You're from the desert."

"So?"

"So, shouldn't the heat not bother you?"

"I may be immortal, but I'm still human, aibou."

"Are you sure about that? Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Yami, I was joking!"

"Hmph."

" . . . " Sigh. "Egypt's heat is something completely different from Japan's. The summers at home were always hot, but it was always dry. Here, the heat is thick enough to swim in."

"Oh. Okay. Fair enough."

"Now what about my popsicle?"

"I told you already, we don't have any! Only freezies!"

"So go out and buy some."

"In this weather? It's bad enough inside the house! And that's saying something. I wish Grandpa would just cave in and buy an air conditioner already . . . "

"Now who's the one complaining?"

"That . . . is totally unfair."

"It's perfectly fair."

"Well, at least we won't have to suffer alone. The gang said they'd come over this afternoon."

"I applaud your tactic. Very nice change of subject."

"Yami! . . . It's not as if you don't do that all the time, anyway!"

" . . . What do you mean by that?"

"Well . . . whenever I try to ask you things about your past . . . "

"What?"

" . . . You change the subject."

"I know it can't all be bad, Yami."

" . . . Can it?"

" . . . No, not bad."

"It just hurts to remember sometimes, huh?"

"I think . . . I know how you feel. I feel the same way too, sometimes, when I remember happy times with my parents. From before they . . . passed away."

"But, Yami . . . I know it hurts, but maybe . . . isn't remembering better than forgetting altogether?"

"Even if it's painful, you were happy then, and you're happy now, so . . . it's sort of like connecting yourself."

"You are happy now, right?"

"More than I can ever remember being."

"So hang onto that, if the memories start to hurt too much. But Yami, if you can bring your old happiness into your new . . . it makes the feeling deeper, makes it mean more."

"You're certainly insightful today, aibou."

"I've had a lot of time to reflect on this one."

"Besides, I reeeeeeeeeeally want to know more about Egypt."

"Yami, are you laughing?"

"No, aibou."

"You are too! Come on, tell me! Pleeeease?"

"Oh, no, not those eyes."

"Pleeeeease?"

"Aibou—"

"Aw, shoot!"

"Ah, saved by the doorbell."

"You don't have to look that relieved, either. Hey Jounouchi! Honda! Anzu! Glad you guys could make it!"

"Hoooooooooooot . . . "

"Hooooooooooootter . . . "

"Hey, Yuugi. Here, help me get these two zombies inside."

"What happened to them?"

"For some reason they thought it would be a brilliant idea to race to your house. Hey, Yami."

"Hello, Anzu."

Gurgle.

"Jounouchi! That's the only lemonade I had left in the house!"

"Sorry, Yuug, but Honda's takin' over the sink right now."

"Ahhhhhh, sweet relief. Hey, Yuugi."

"Honda, I don't think you're really supposed to stick your head under the tap like that . . . "

"Why no—OW!"

"That's why. They don't have height standards."

"My head . . . "

"So, Yuugi, what were you two up to before we barged in here?"

"Oh, Yami was just about to tell me some stories about his life in ancient Egypt."

"Aibou!"

"What?"

" . . . Yuug, that's one of the creepiest smiles I've ever seen from you. 'S there somethin' you're leavin' out?"

"No, I'm only telling the truth. Yami, you shouldn't grind your teeth like that."

"Oooh, really? We're just learning about Egypt in class; I want to know how much of the textbook is actually right."

"Only you'd care 'bout somethin' like that, Anzu."

"Unlike you, who doesn't seem to care about his grades at all."

"Hey, I care! . . . Enough to get Cs, anyway. See, C for caring."

"That's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"You're not doin' any better, Honda!"

"Come on, guys, let Yami talk before he tries to sneak out the back door."

/Aibou, I am going to remember this for a long, long time./

/Will I get in more trouble if I say that it was worth it?/

/Aibou!/

"Oh, right. C'mon, Yami, tell us something about . . . Yuugi, are you laughing?"

"No, Honda."

"Egypt's in the desert, right? Maybe Yami c'n tell us somethin' about how to cool off in this stupid weather."

"I would, Jounouchi, but unfortunately, there is no Nile river in Japan and nudity is illegal here."

" . . . What?"

" . . . What?"

" . . . What?"

"Oh, don't you guys pay any attention in class? People in Egypt would dunk themselves with water from the Nile. And most people didn't wear clothes in the summer, there."

"Thank you, Anzu."

" . . . Seriously? No clothes?"

"Well, the rich and royalty wore clothes all the time as a sign of our status, but we had people to fan us."

"Wish we had someone to fan us."

"Good idea. I vote Jou."

"What! Why me!"

"Speaking of fans, I think we have an electric one in the back. I'll go get it."

"Don't worry, aibou, I'll get it."

"Thanks, Yami. Hey, does anyone want a freezie?"

"Me!"

"I do!"

"I would, please!"

"Okay, here you go—oh, looks like we have a popsicle left after all. Would you like it, Anzu?"

"Oh, thank you, Yuugi! Mmm, chocolate."

"Heeey, how come Anzu gets it?"

"Because you drank all my lemonade, Jou!"

"What does that have to do with anyth—holy jeez, you okay there, Yami? Why'd you drop the fan?"

"Aibou."

"Yes?"

"You told me there were no popsicles left."

"Umm . . . I didn't see it the first time around?"

"And you gave it to Anzu."

" . . . Yes? Ack!"

"Yuugi, if Yami wants the popsicle I can—"

"Whoa, look at them go!"

"What's got Yami so ticked off at Yuug? The popsicle?"

"I dunno. Ouch, I think the back door just left a dent in the wall."

"Uh-oh, Yami's got the hose."

"Look at him dodge! Go, Yuugi!"

" . . . Boys. Here, Jounouchi, you have the popsicle."

"Huh? Me?"

"Well, Yami's obviously occupied. So here."

"Um, thanks. I think?"

"I'd better go break them up."

"Um, Jou?"

"Yeah, Honda?"

" . . . You might want to throw that out."

"Why? 'S my popsicle."

"Because Yami's coming this way, and he looks deadset on 'your' popsicle."

"ACK!"

"Oh, for—!"

"Aa . . . Don't worry about it, Anzu; Yami's always like this around popsicles. All we can do now is wait for it to blow over."

"Are you sure, Yuugi? That brawl's starting to look pretty vicious . . . Honda, stop cheering them on!"

"A-heh . . . "

"That's MINE!"

"Leggo, Yami, getcher own!"

"I would if there were any more in the house!"

"Ya snooze, ya lose, this one's mine!"

"Hey guys, if you're not careful you're going to—ooh, that's going to stain."

"My SHIRT!"

"My POPSICLE!"

"Oh dear."

"That was my favorite shirt!"

"That was my ONLY popsicle!"

"Hey hey, no death matches in the house!"

"Honda's right! Jou, you can come with me tomorrow to buy Yami some more popsicles. But until then, Yami, you're going to have to wait. And you should buy Jounouchi a new shirt."

"But-!"

"Aibou-!"

"Yuugi's right, you two! Now, apologize!"

"Now!"

" . . . Sorry, Yami."

"I'm sorry too, Jounouchi."

"Jeez, Anzu could star in her own horror movie, eh Yuugi?"

"Um . . . "

"I HEARD THAT, HONDA!"

"Meep!"

"Can everyone please just calm down?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass out from heat exhaustion here. Someone plug in that fan, will ya?"

"I'll do it. Yuugi, why don't you go get Jou a clean shirt."

"Sure thing, Anzu."

"Now where's the plug . . . ? Oh, here we go."

"Ahhhh, sweet relief."

"You already said that, Honda."

"I agree with Honda, though. It's very efficient."

"Beats human fan bearers, huh, Yami?"

"Yes. And electric fans don't demand pay, either."

" . . . Was that an attempt at humour? Sorry, Yami, I'm just not used to hearing you make jokes."

"I got it. You just don't have a guy's sense of humour, Anzu. Besides, no pay? Tell that to the hydro bill."

"All right, we're back."

" . . . Now what?"

"Hooooooot."

"Didn't we already go through this, Jounouchi?"

"But I'm am hot. 'Specially after that stupid wrestling match."

"I already apologized, Jounouchi. It was a . . . heat of the moment kind of error."

"Please don't use the word 'heat' right now . . . "

"Who the heck came up wit' that sayin', anyway? 'Heat of the moment'? Moments ain't hot!"

"Tell that to the moment right now."

"It's a turn of phrase, Jounouchi. It means like the passionate heart of a moment, when you're not really thinking."

"Then why don't they just say that?"

"Because it's a mouthful."

"Besides, if it does means you're not thinking, then Jou's ALWAYS in the heat of the moment."

"You wanna say that again, Honda! 'Least I got a brain t'think with!"

"Too bad the heat seems to have melted what's left of it!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Oh please, let's not start this again . . . "

"Jou, what are you doing in the ice box?"

"Oh, nothin' . . . Just thought that . . . maybe Honda could . . . COOL DOWN!"

"EEYOW! That's COLD!"

"Ice cubes? Come on, Jounouchi, that's childish even for y—EEK!"

"Ha, you sayin' somethin', Anzu?"

"Ooh, you come back here right this—"

"Oh, Anzu, not you too!"

"Aibou, what, exactly, is happening?"

"Um, to tell the truth, Yami, I'm not so sure myse-EEEEELF! Honda!"

"Sorry, Yuugi, but you were wide open!"

"That doesn't mean I deserved—"

"ACK! Jounouchi!"

"Nya ha ha ha ha! That one's fer my shirt, Yami!"

"Fine, I accept your challenge!"

"Yami, no, this isn't a—!"

"Watch out, he's got the detachable sink faucet!"

"Yami!"

"Oh, shoot."

"Aw, man, and this is new—"

"I'm SOAKED!"

"Yami, turn it OFF!"

"Grandpa is going to KILL me!"

"Jounouchi started it!"

"Yami, now you're acting just as childish as Jou!"

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Okay, who says it's payback time?"

"Um . . . "

"Don't give us that look, Yami, you earned this one!"

"Hurry, I got his arms!"

"Hey!"

"We got his legs. Careful, he's thrashing!"

"All right, move this way!"

"What are you all—!"

"Easy, don't drop him."

"Someone get the hose while we keep him pinned!"

"Oh, no . . . "

"Oh, yes."

"Ready? One, two, THREE!"

"Whoo-hoo!"

"High five, my man!"

"Um, guys? He's looking pretty, um . . . "

"I suggest that you all start running."

"Yuug? Is it a good thing if Yami's smilin' while he's threatenin'?"

"NO."

"I'm all for running."

"Me too."

"Me three."

"Aw man, he's fast!"

"Whoa, watch—ack! Yami!"

"Oh no! Hey, that's not fair!"

"Now, Yami, it's not like any of this was really my—oomph!"

"What the heck, does he know pillow-fu or something!"

"En guarde!"

"Hey, I got this one first!"

"Guys, don't pull on that or—"

"Great, now I'm wet and covered in fluff!"

"It's your fault for pulling so hard!"

"My fault? You're the one who—"

"Ow! Yuugi, do you have to whistle so loud?"

"Well, you guys weren't paying attention! Look at this mess! Who's going to clean this up?"

"Relax, Yuug, we'll help. Just . . . not right now. 'S too hot."

"Says the one who was just wailing away harder than the rest of us."

"Aw, whatever. Hey, who's up for a nap?"

--Y.y.Y.y.Y.y.Y.y.Y--

"What HAPPENED here!"

" . . . Uh-oh. Uh, hi, Mr. Mutou."

"Well?"

" . . . Sorry, Grandpa. It was a . . . heat of the moment kind of thing."

FIN--