Disclaimer-I'm angry today. It's not mine. Don't piss me off anymore than I already am.

Authoress' Note-I am officially pissed off today. First of all, I've been trying to upload this all day, but it keeps telling me is encountering heavy traffic". Seriously how many bloody people are on here on a Monday afternoon?? Also the secret door at J.K. Rowling's website is open today, but I haven't been able to find the bloody lightswitch to get the stuff about Book 6! Grrrr... tells you how to get the clue or whatever on book 6, but it doesn't work for me!!! If anyone else has had this problem or if anyone knows what it says about Book 6 please please review and tell me!! I need something to help brighten this day! E.D.J.

And I only got 3 bloody reviews! Actually I'm not too mad about this one as the other stuff so don't be officially terrified of me kay?

blinkgurl017- Thank you! Someone who agrees with about the last chapter being the best! I loved the list too and I included another one by the fabulous Mr. Moony but I personally like the 1st one better.

anniePADFOOT- I love James and Remus being mean to Sirius! (Giggle)

Professor D.S. Silvers-I personally am a diehard Chandler fan! Could he be any cooler? I love his sarcasm! But they're all good!

B.T.W. This chapter is more about Monica/Sirius than Lily/James! E.D.J.

Ch. 10-Dinner at the Potters' Part Two- Pre-Dinner Dilemmas

"What do you wear to a dinner at the home of your arch-nemesis?" asked Lily as she sorted through her suitcase full of clothes. "Particularly if you don't want said nemesis to ask you out even though you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh I used to know that one!" said Hestia sarcastically.

"Very funny Hestia. But seriously what do I wear?"

"Baggy pants and an old sweatshirt?" suggested Emmeline.

"But I don't want to look like a slob at a nice dinner!"

"So you want to dress nice for dinner without looking nice enough for Potter to notice?" asked Monica.

"Yes."

"I can't help you there. I don't think it's physically possible."

"Thanks for the help Mon."

"Anytime."

"Maybe he won't ask you out in front of his parents," said Hestia thoughtfully.

"Well he asked me out in front of my parents at the end of the Christmas holiday, so I don't think that will be much of a road block for him."

"Well you never know."

"Aren't you going to dress down to deter Black?" Lily asked Monica.

"No. I like to watch him squirm."

"You have interesting hobbies, Mon."

"I try Hestia, I try."

"I give up!" moaned Lily throwing herself on top of her bed. "I'll just have to look good!"

"What a tragedy Lils," commented Emmeline as she put on her makeup. "You have to look good! The horror!"

"You're not helping Em."

"Well you're whiny!"

"I second that."

"Monica!"

"I'm just being my very honest self."

"Well it would hurt you to lie every once and a while."

"Alright... lies... You are smitten with James Potter, but Potter only has eyes for the giant squid!"

"Your mind works in mysterious ways," said Hestia rolling her eyes.

"And Hestia is in love with Peter Pettigrew!"

"Oh I could believe that."

"Lily!"

"I'm kidding Hestia!" shouted Lily as Hestia began to beat Lily with her pillow.

Emmeline tried to save Lily to no avail until finally a voice filled the air.

"Are you ready girls? We're leaving in two minutes!"

"Oh bugger!" moaned Lily running to the bathroom to change.

"How do you make a girl want you when your natural charm doesn't work?" asked Sirius as the four boys got dressed for dinner.

"Natural charm?" said Remus laughing. "Is that what all those cheesy pick up lines are?"

"Cheesy what now?"

"Pick up lines," finished Remus. "Such as, 'You have the most beautiful/gorgeous/hot/

sexy eyes/hair/body/forehead I could just gaze at you all day/all night/all of class/for the next sixty seconds.' Or my personal favorite, the straight forward 'Wanna snog in that broom closet?' That's real charm!"

"Don't question my methods Moony! Stop laughing! And when have I ever told a girl she had a sexy forehead?"

"October 29th. Hufflepuff. Fourth year. Geena Irving. For some reason she told you that was 'the sweetest thing any guy had ever said to her' and then you snogged her in some broom cupboard for about two and half hours."

"Yeesh Moony! Are you stalking Padfoot?"

"Just because my attention span is longer than five seconds doesn't mean I'm a stalker, Prongs!"

"Who's Geena Irving?"

"Well you knew every little detail..."

"Seriously who is she?"

"That is because Padfoot had to tell me every little detail the next day and unfortunately the images are still haunting me!"

"Cool I'm haunting Moony. And who is Geena bloody Irving?!"

"You're hopeless Padfoot. I'm going to make a list, so I don't have to be annoyed by you three."

"But I haven't been talking at all Moony!"

"Well Wormtail, you're still annoying me."

"Oh."

Mr. Moony's To-Do List (With Help From His Fellow Marauders)

("No! I'm writing this so I can ignore you three!" "Tough luck there Moony!")

1) Burn images of Mr. Padfoot and Geena Irving snogging in some cupboard from mind ("Oh I think I remember her now! Wasn't she the girl who..." "I'm not listening Padfoot! Stop talking! The images!")

2)Unpack trunk ("You're so boring Moony! Unpacking!")

3)Continue to resist the urge to become an idiot like my fellow Marauders ("Moony... remember what happened the last time!" "Oh shove it Wormtail!")

4)Help Prongs and Padfoot become acceptable to their dream girls. Note-They must deflate their overly large egos by 193 at least. ("Moony my ego is not overly large!" "Right...")

5)Resist the urge to laugh if Prongs and Padfoot are rejected by their dream girls ("Padfoot?" "Yeah?" "Start sending out some of that 'Moony Blackmail' you keep stored away." "Blackmail? You're going to tell everyone I'm a werewolf?!" "Oh no! We have much worse stuff. Remember Elizabeth Connelly?" "Oh not Liz! Not that girl! You wouldn't!" "On the contrary my dear Moony, we indeed will tell her that you snogged her and her twin sister and then dumped both of them!" "They're identical! I thought Mollie was Liz! They'd ruin my reputation! Please don't!" "Then stop being your bloody evil self!")

6)Make sure Prongs and Padfoot don't make fools of themselves at dinner. ("See? Was it so hard to write something that doesn't include your rude sense of humor?" "I hate you, Padfoot.")

"James? Sirius? Remus? Peter? The Joneses just rang and said they'll be over in two minutes!" boomed a loud voice.

"Thanks Dad! We'll come down!" shouted James.

"Ready guys?" asked Sirius.

"Ready," repeated the others and they made their way down the stairs.

"I can do this, I can do this," muttered Monica as the girls and Mr. and Mrs. Jones walked across the sand.

"I can't do this, I can't do this," whispered Lily gripping her wand tightly in her hand.

Emmeline and Hestia exchanged looks and muttered, "They're insane."

"Girls, have you heard that James has a few friends staying with him this summer too?" said Mrs. Jones lightly.

"Yes," they all said shortly.

Mrs. Jones continued on. "James is such a nice boy! I've always thought so. I'm sure his friends are just the same."

Monica suppressed a snort.

"Do you girls know James and his friends well?"

"Yes," the girls nodded unable to keep a few grimaces from their faces.

Luckily Mrs. Jones wasn't looking at them.

"Hestia and James have practically grown up together! I've always thought that he'd be the perfect boy for Hestia."

"Mother!" shrieked Hestia her cheeks pink. "It's James for crying out loud!"

"Besides he's after Lily anyway," commented Emmeline.

"Em!" squeaked Lily.

"Really?" said Mrs. Jones raising her eyebrows. "I'm sure he'd be perfect for you too, Lily dear."

"Oh well I don't think of him that way either," said Lily gritting her teeth while she tried to keep from screaming in horror.

"Well we're here!" said Mr. Jones ringing the Potters' doorbell.

The girls all took deep breaths as the door opened.

"Hello Mr. Jones, Mrs. Jones, girls!" said Mrs. Livingston, smiling as she showed them into a small parlor.

"Hestia you're looking prettier than ever!" said Mrs. Livingston giving the girl a warm hug. "And these are your friends?"

She nodded at the other three girls.

"Yes. Mrs. Livingston, this is Monica Longbottom, Emmeline Vance, and Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans?" asked Mrs. Livingston looking Lily over. "Why you're the girl who..."

"Edward! Patrice! It's been awhile!" said Mrs. Potter as she, Mr. Potter, and the four Marauders appeared.

"It's always wonderful to see you and Jonathan, Arleen!" said Mrs. Jones hugging Mrs. Potter and the two fathers shook hands.

"And of course, James!" said Mrs. Jones noticing the four boys.

"Hello Patrice!" said James brightly hugging Hestia's mother while his own mother hugged Hestia.

"Patrice, Edward, these are my good friends Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew!" said James nodding at his friends.

"And my friends are Monica Longbottom, Emmeline Vance, and Lily Evans," added Hestia.

James snuck a glance at Lily while his parents where smiling and shaking hands with the three girls. She looked beautiful as always. Lily caught him staring at her and she scowled at him and muttered something to Monica who was busy scowling at Sirius.

Ignoring Lily's scowl, he strode over to her.

"Hi Ev...er...Lily," he stammered. "How are you this evening?"

Lily continued to scowl at him. "I was fine until you showed up."

"Well...er...yeah," he said searching for something somewhat intelligent to say.

"Did you want something Pott...James or are just going to stand here muttering?" asked Lily thinking it would be rude to call him Potter in front of his parents.

James felt his heart soar. She called me James!

"You called me James!" he said smugly.

"It is your name. Don't read to much into it," she said shrugging knowing where this conversation was going.

"Does that mean you're finally warming up to me?" asked James.

Lily's face turned an angry shade of red in the blink of an eye.

Oh no! Abort! Abort! James thought watching her face get redder and redder.

Lily was busy keeping her temper in check, so she wouldn't explode at Potter in front of Hestia and Potters' parents. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

It wasn't working. She could practically feel the angry heat building up inside her mind.

Her hold on her temper was loosening, so she said quickly, "Of course not, you git."

Then, she rushed over and began babbling to Emmeline about Ancient Runes before anything else spilled out.

Damn it, thought James. I was being a git, prat, and a berk! She just couldn't kill me in front of my parents.

He sighed and sat down defeated for the time being.

"So Mon, how are you?" asked Sirius flashing her a winning smile as he sat down next to her.

"Lovely just lovely!" said Monica her face grim.

"So I was wondering..."

Monica scowled and said, "Can we just skip to the part where I tell you to sod off and to never bother me again, Black?"

Sirius laughed. "But perhaps you won't want me to sod off, what then?"

Monica sighed. "Alright what were you wondering?"

"Er..." said Sirius racking his brain for an answer. "I was wondering... when you thought we'd get our O.W.L.s results?"

Monica was taken aback. No sickening charm? No asking her out? Very suspicious. What was his angle?

"Uh... my guess would be mid July?" said Monica warily. "Why do care anyway? I thought your perfect self was above such mediocre concerns like O.W.L.s."

Oh damn! Did I just say he was perfect?! Ewww... Why am I so daft?

Monica sat wincing waiting for Black to comment on her saying he was perfect.

Sirius just laughed resisting the urge to add a bit of smugness. "Quite the contrary, Miss Longbottom. I am very concerned about my O.W.L.s."

"Really?" said Monica raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," said Sirius sitting down next to her. "They're what decided my future and I am very concerned about my future career."

Monica rolled her eyes. "That's a load of bull and you know it."

"Ok you caught me," said Sirius raising his hands in defeat. "I don't give a damn about the future and I'm only a bit concerned about my future career. I like the here and now."

"I knew it," said Monica smugly. "Though it would have been quite convincing from someone else. Well played."

She stuck out her hand for him to shake.

Sirius stared at her hand. What is she doing? She's congratulating me on good acting around her? Unless... no! Must resist urge to act smug and prat-like! Must become socially acceptable! Merlin! Moony keeps talking in my head. I must be a right loon.

Sirius grasped her hand and kissed it lightly.

What the...? Monica thought.

She quickly pulled her hand away and felt her face go red.

Sirius felt a bubble of triumph inside him when he saw how flustered Monica looked. But he knew he shouldn't do anything else yet, so he acted like nothing had happened.

"What's it like at Hestia's house?" he asked determined to play it cool.

"Er... what?" asked Monica. She had been staring at her hand where he'd kissed it instead of paying attention.

What is wrong with me? Shouldn't I be angry? Well it was rather nice...no bad, very bad! Did I actually admit that? No that was just some strange person talking. Of course it was.

"What's it like at Hestia's house?" Sirius repeated with a slight smile.

"Uh... big, huge, beautiful," said Monica vaguely.

"I think it's like that with all these huge houses," he said with a chuckle.

"Well isn't your home like that? From what I hear your folks are loaded," said Monica incredulously.

Sirius' face darkened. "Well big and huge, yes. But beautiful? No. I don't think a house filled with the Dark Arts and insane pure-bloods can be beautiful."

"I'm sorry," said Monica patting his arm. "I know you're not like that."

What? I feel sorry for him! Monica moaned at the voice that was disgusted that she had touched him.

Sirius grinned feeling her touch. "Yeah, I'm one of the few who are halfway decent. I'm sure you've seen my brother at school if that's any indication of what the rest of the 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black' are like. It's a load of bull."

"Yeah he's a nasty one. I take it you two don't get along?"

Sirius nodded. "We're rivals like Slytherins and Gryffindors have always been and always will be."

Monica nodded in agreement.

"Remus what are they doing?" muttered Emmeline from where she, Hestia, Peter, and Remus sat watching Lily and James and Monica and Sirius.

"Well from my point of view it looks like talking," said Remus.

"But they don't talk!" insisted Emmeline. "They argue, they insult each other!"

"Well maybe Monica's finally warming up to him," suggested Peter.

Emmeline and Hestia snorted.

"Like that would ever happen," said Hestia.

"You never know," argued Remus.

"That'll be the day!" laughed Hestia. "The day Monica Longbottom 'warms up' to Sirius Black is the day I turn into a Chinese Fireball."

Remus and Peter glared at the two girls and walked away.

"She just touched him!" shrieked Emmeline still staring at Monica and Sirius. "Monica said she'd wouldn't touch him with a twenty foot pole!"

"At least Lily and James are still sane," commented Hestia as she glanced at the pair who were sitting on opposite ends of the room and glaring angrily at each other.

"Do you we think we should do something about Monica?" said Emmeline anxiously. "You know, hit over the head and drag her away from Black?"

"She's a big girl Em. Monica doesn't need our help."

"But..."

"No buts. She's fine."

Just then, Mrs. Livingston entered the parlor and said, "Dinner is served."

Now I'm sure you're all wondering about the whole Remus/Liz/Mollie dilemma that Sirius and James were going to blackmail Remus about. So I will explain it as thoroughly as possible.

Remus started dating a girl named Elizabeth Connelly who also (coveniently) happened to have an identical twin sister named Mollie. Both girls liked Remus and Liz hadn't told her sister about her dating Remus because she knew how jealous Mollie would be. Anyway worst comes to worse, Remus mistakes Mollie for Liz and has a snog with her in some cupboard. Remus realizes his mistake and freaks out. He tells Mollie he's through with her and puts a Memory Charm on her so she'll forget the whole episode. Then Remus breaks it off with Liz because he feels so guilty and in case Mollie's memory charm ever wears off.

James and Sirius would have told Liz how he made out with her sister and put a Memory Charm on her and then the two twins would have spread it around the school ruining Remus' reputation.

I guess Remus has some skeltons in his closet too. He..he.. E.D.J.