What Fate Decrees - Part Eight
Sam found herself out in the corridor yet again, barely noticing as Teal'c hurried to join them. She wasn't sure how much more she could take in right now. She cast a tearful look at Daniel, whose shocked pale face must surely have reflected her own. Teal'c stood with them, his face drawn into a frown, unusual for the Jaffa.
Sam couldn't stop the sob that tore from her throat and Daniel turned to her quickly. He grabbed her to him in a fierce hug and wept on her shoulder as she did the same to him.
"God Sam, we can't …. We just can't lose him, please God," he moaned.
"Hush Daniel, it'll be okay. He'll be …." A sob choked her words off. Not able to speak further, they just held on to each other. Eventually they calmed enough to mop at their faces, but stood close, holding hands.
After what seemed like an eternity Janet appeared in the corridor, looking tired, her features grim. Taking in Janet's face, Sam clasped Daniel's hand harder, waiting for bad news.
"He's still alive," the Doctor stated quickly, seeing their expressions "but he's very weak and in a critical condition."
"Can we …?" Sam motioned with her hand towards the closed door.
Janet nodded. "Only for a moment." She led them in. The curtains were closed around the bed and it looked like Jack was wired up to half the mountain with even more machines than before.
Sam flinched at the sight and Daniel grabbed her hand to comfort her.
"He's having trouble breathing at the moment, so we've had to intubate him again," Janet said softly. "Five minutes, then you all go and rest." She tapped her watch before leaving them.
"Oh God, Daniel," Sam muttered desolately. At her words Daniel grasped her hand tighter.
"He'll pull through," he said obviously trying to comfort her.
Sam nodded in agreement. 'He's got to,' she added to herself. She moved forward and gently picked the Colonel's hand up, holding it with both of hers, cradling it as though she could give him life from her strength.
Janet, true to her word ejected them after five minutes. Once outside in the corridor the tears Sam had been holding in came thick and fast and Daniel held her tightly, his own eyes blurred with tears. Teal'c stood to one side, his expression blank.
"O'Neill will recover," he said softly, and to their surprise, walked away quickly.
As Sam's crying subsided Daniel let her go. He handed her one of his ever-present tissues and she tried to repair her wet and red face.
"Thanks Daniel, I'm sorry I …"
"Ssssh, it's okay, really. I know Sam, I know. Do you want to talk?"
"No, not yet. Are you okay?"
He smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah. Let's get some rest. We need to be here when he wakes."
They made their way to their separate quarters. Sam threw herself onto her bed and the tears flowed once more. Eventually she cried herself into a restless sleep.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Daniel lay back on his bed, but the only images that came to him were of Jack lying there suffering in the pit, the blood, blood everywhere, on his clothes, on his hands. Unable to stand it anymore he sat up with a jerk. He knew he'd find no rest, so, not sure what else to do, he went in search of Teal'c.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Teal'c was sitting on the floor of his quarters, the candles lit, feeling once more at peace having just performed the meditation of kel-no-reem. A soft tapping at the door broke into his thoughts.
"Come in Daniel Jackson," he called without hesitation. Only Daniel Jackson would knock in such a manner and not enter. Major Carter always gave three short raps before calling out to him.
"Err, hi Teal'c. Sorry, am I disturbing you?"
"You are not."
"Oh." Daniel paused, clearly at a loss for words.
"Do you wish to talk?" enquired Teal'c, gesturing for the other man to sit on the floor with him.
Daniel Jackson sat down, mirroring Teal'c position with his own unconsciously. He stuttered slightly "I'm not sure actually."
"You are troubled? O'Neill will mend. He is strong."
"Oh God, Teal'c, I wish I had your confidence," the other man moaned.
"Do you not believe in O'Neill?" questioned the Jaffa with the raise of an eyebrow.
"Believe in him?" Daniel Jackson echoed. The question appeared to confuse him.
"Yes believe. O'Neill's hold to life is very strong, Daniel Jackson. He will not give up."
The younger man nodded. "I believe that Jack doesn't want to die, but hey who does? Oh - that was a Jack remark wasn't it?"
"No, Daniel Jackson, I did not say that he does not want to die – I said that his hold to life is strong. There is a difference."
The other man frowned slightly, as if thinking. After a few seconds he spoke again. "Yes, I suppose there is. When I first met Jack, he was suicidal. He couldn't kill himself outright though, he needed an excuse to die and the military tried to use that to their advantage. He chose to live instead, so perhaps Jack is destined for a long life. All I know is I don't want him dying for me."
"O'Neill has a purpose for his life."
"Yeah," Daniel laughed bitterly "Getting shot full of holes instead of idiots like me."
Teal'c just managed to prevent his frustration at the other man's words from showing. "Daniel Jackson, you are not an idiot. O'Neill would gladly lay down his life for you, also for MajorCarter and even myself. That is O'Neill, but mostly he chooses to protect by fighting, which of course is the better option."
"I don't want Jack to die for me."
Teal'c spoke firmly. "O'Neill is not dead, but you mourn him as though he is. He will continue to fight for you and others like you."
"Others like me," muttered Daniel Jackson "That's what I mean, Teal'c - others like me who put people like Jack in danger."
"Forgive me, I did not mean that. I meant the people he cares for. It may be his task in life, but it is done willingly. It is also his life. Who are you to take that choice away from him?"
Teal'c watched as Daniel Jackson appeared to digest his words for a moment before replying. "I don't like seeing people hurt on my account."
"If the situation was reversed would you have behaved differently?"
"No," stated the other man firmly.
"Then why do you expect differently of O'Neill?"
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Daniel didn't know what he expected when he had decided to speak to his team mate, a few platitudes, and words of comfort perhaps. What he had received instead was far more valuable. He re-evaluated his own arguments, and realised the Jaffa was right.
"Put like that Teal'c, yes why? I don't know!" He shook his head sadly as he reached a decision. He sat up straighter and gave Teal'c a small smile. "Thanks, you've been a great help. I'll leave you in peace." He got up stiffly and made his way back to his quarters, where he lay down and had the first proper sleep since the accident.
Sometime later a voice and an insistent shake on his shoulder awoke him.
"Hey, Daniel."
"Uh, Sam, what? Jack?" he mumbled sleepily grabbing for his glasses.
"No change yet, but Janet says, providing we eat first, we can visit. Come on. Let's go."
They made their way to the commissary with Daniel protesting along the way he wasn't hungry.
"We have to have something or else Janet won't let us in."
Several people stopped them and asked after the Colonel, which Daniel left to Sam to answer. In the queue Daniel tried to avoid picking up any food, merely collecting a large coffee, but Sam, obviously mindful of Janet's orders, placed a sandwich on his tray while adding a similar one to her own.
They were both munching half-heartedly at the food, when Janet appeared at their table "I'm glad to see you're taking my advice."
"I thought they were orders actually," grimaced Sam.
Janet sat down with her coffee and a sandwich. Before Daniel could open his mouth to ask the obvious question, she was already speaking.
"There's some improvement. He's steadier and maintaining his own. Teal'c's with him now, so don't rush." She rubbed tiredly at her brow.
"When did you last sleep?" asked Daniel.
Janet frowned. "Don't worry about me. As soon as I've eaten this and checked the Colonel once more, I'm going to get some sleep."
The conversation petered out as they ate and finished their coffees, before Daniel and Sam followed the Doctor to the infirmary.
"He's definitely improving," Janet confirmed as she finished checking Jack's vitals. "Now I'm going to crash, buzz if you need me." and with that she left them, giving the last minute instructions to the duty nurse before going to her office to sleep on the sofa there.
Daniel and Sam chatted quietly together, trying to include Jack in the general conversation. Daniel was sure that he could hear them, and knew Sam felt the same.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
'Voices again, more than one for sure this time.' The voices were pulling at him from the inky blackness. 'Oh crap! Pain! Perhaps the darkness was better?' So once more Jack returned to the darkness.