Harry Potter and the HalfWitted Musical 2 Chapter 3: The Way I MoveWar!, a harry potter fanfic

Spider-Bat Presents

Harry Potter

and

The Half-Witted Musical 2

Chapter 3: The Way I Move/War!

"How dare you call my students unintelligent, Voldiemort!" yelled Snape. "I'm going to kill you!"

Snape rose his wand and fired the killing spell at Voldemort, but he missed.

"Sucka!" yelled Voldemort. "There's no way you can kill me! I'm an excellent dodger! Try to get me while I sing this song:

"Boom, boom, boom… Ha! Ha!

"I'm ready for action… try to nip me in the butt! I'm always relaxin'… Voldiemort is everlastin'! I'm clashin' all yalls… Wanna see me in a little action? That's for anyone askin'… I'm just passing… gas--gas--gas-- there it goes up your ass, uh! Now it's comin' out the side of yo' face… Typin' right into yo' memory banks! So lickin' a ticket, keep yo' seatbelt fastened! Yo' mind'll be rattlin' like a midget's up there dancin'! Speaker box installed in yo' head and that's how yall're hearin' me rappin'!

"But I know you're one of the 3-0-3 can you hear that Vold-ee! But I know you're one of the 3-0-3 can you hear that Vold-ee!

"I like the way I move! I like the way I move! I love the way I move! I love the way… I love the way… I love the way I move! I love the way I move! Woo, woo, woo! I love the way I move! I love the way… I love the way…

"The whole room fell silent; the girls are lovin' me! From Hermione to her mom-- are they lookin' at me? Well I was lookin' at them over there on the dance floor. Now they got on feelin' like a man-whore! Specially the little girl… Hermione needs love, too, no discrimination here girl! Keep you hands off my cheeks-- I wanna study yo' mom ride the beat-- ya big freak! Skinny, slim-- I don't care… As long as they got the… Nice rack… I'm all so fine-- I'll make you mine-- I'll give you something to remember-- Yell out 'Timber' when yo' bra falls down to the chop shop! Take a deep breath and exhale! Your ex-male-friend, Ron, is as boring as hell! Let me listen to the stories you tell! Your mom can move like I did in jail, so go loco!

"Hey, baby! Girl, can you stop it? Come on, lady, stop killing me-- MOMMY! But you look so fine… you look so fine… you're driving me out of my mind… out of my-- BABY! If I could, I would just be with you, baby! Ooh, cause you're sexy, so is your mommy! And you know… I gotta pee, baby, woo!

"I like the way I move! I like the way I move! I like the way I move! Ooh, so sizzling! I love the way I move! I love the way… Uh huh! I love the way… Ooh! I love the way I move! I love the way I move now, baby! I love the way I move! Ooh, you're so sizzling! I love the way I move! I love the way… I love the way…"

And then, Voldemort picked up Hermione and he mom and ran away with them, leaving behind 47½ Death Eaters. Of course this made Ron very sad.

"This means war!" Ron said. "Hit it, guys!"

The band OutKast emerged from a suit of armor with a man named Killer Mike and started rapping this exact song:

"As I, struggle to keep my balance and composure I'm 'posed ta, propose a toast to players on every coast-a. The lyrical roller coaster, mind-bender. 'Stead of watchin these sucker MC's I'm seein just how they lyin to the general population. Don't be patient, get up and stand up for your life. Don't you agree or understand we lost some rights at 1-1-9? Come dumb, come young, come blind unwind confined to the situation, we facin, cause in time, tick, tick boom.
"Tick, boom… tick, tick-boom. Tick, boom… tick, tick-boom. Tick, boom… tick, tick-boom. Tick, boom… tick, tick-boom
"When will we all awake up out this dream. Come here and smell the Folgers, the soldiers are human beings. Man actin as if he was the supreme bein. Clockin the souls of men out like he was G-O-D and W-A-Rrah, there'll be no tomorrow but sorrow and horror will follow the hollow hearts battle for dollars. Politicians, modern day magicians. Physicians of death, more health care for poor health. Who makin us ill, they makin us kill. That's makin me spill my guts."

"Chill Big, lay in the cut!" said Harry P.

"For what? I refuse to sit in the backseat and get handled like I do nuttin all day but sit around watch the Cartoon Channel. I rap about the Presidential election and the scandal that followed, and we all watched the nation, as it swallowed and chalked it up, basically America you got FUCKED. The media shucked and jived now we stuck - damn!
"Operation Anaconda - ask yourself: Was it full of bleeps and blunders, did they ever find Osama? And why in the fuck did Daniel Pearl have to pay the price for his life and his wife plead twice? See Al-Amin got life and Fred got dead, Hampton to dampen the dream of all the Panthers. They got they answer for ransom.

"As we read together, as we dream together count your blessings whenever you feel that things won't be no better. But it got to, you gave me this microphone so I must rock you. Your brainwaves, airwaves, energized and SHOCKED you. Y'all got me, well I got y'all, long as I know y'all listenin. I'm always bringing food for thought to the table in the kitchen; now eat."

"But, uh… Ron dawg!" said Big Boi. "What the hell did that have to do with going to war with that pale dude?"

"What?" asked Ron. "I can't hear you! I think I'm deaf!"

6/9/05