Chapter 3: Ghosts
Everything was red, the walls, the ceiling, and the bed, red. Jazz looked at her hands, and they were red to, red like blood. On the bed lay a man, blood dripping down his bare chest, dripping on to the bed. On the floor there is a knife, blade stained red, handle stained red, floor stained red. Jazz is crouching in the corner, and everything goes black. It is only her now, her and a white haired man, a man holding a knife. He kneels in front of Jazz, brings the knife up to her throat and whispers in to her ear, "Scream for me baby". She screams…
…and wakes up in her bed, dripping with sweat, but safe. This dream came to her every night, and every night she would wake up, covers thrown off the bed, and her self dripping in sweat. Even in Japan, her brother would still haunt her.
She slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She splashed her face with cold water, and tried to steady the shaking. She looks in the mirror, and sees her brother staring back at her. Her parent had died 10 years ago when she was only six. It had been a robbery at a shop. They were there and caught in the cross fire. Jazz had seen her parents die. Luckily she was already fluent in English and Japanese, so she could cope over here. After that she had been through a series of foster home with her brother, until they were old enough for him to look after her. It was at this time things started to go wrong. She was 12 at the time. First started the beatings, then the drugs, and soon her brother had worked out that he had the perfect way to pay for his little obsession, Jazz. She first sold her self, her virginity when she was 13; the guy who paid was at least 40 and a fat business man with a taste for young girls. Soon Jazz was used to it, the older men, the men who would beat her, the men with their sick little twisted fantasies, Jazz had had them all, but here would be different. Here was different already; she was making friends, a new thing for her.
It was lunch time at school and Jazz was sitting with on the grass, smiling and laughing with Tristan. Joey and Bakura were there, and Jazz couldn't help noticing that they were very touchy feely. They made it seem like a joke, but Jazz could see the tender expressions in their eyes when they smiled at each other, and Jazz was getting a sneaking suspicion that there was something going on between the two. Serenity was lying on the grass, sleeping, and Yugi and Tea were in the library, Tea helping Yugi with their already heavy work load.
Jazz was having a great time with Tristan, he seemed so happy, and he had a great laugh. Jazz liked him a lot, and couldn't help thinking that the kiss with Yugi had been a mistake.
I have to tell him that it was a mistake; I can't let that get in the way of what might be happening between me and Tristan. I hope it doesn't fuck our friendship up, 'cos I really like Yugi, there is something about him, but something is happening between me and Tristan, and if it is going to happen I should just let it. Things were going well between Jazz and Tristan, they had lots in common, and they could talk for ages, without any awkward pauses.
"Hey Jazz, you know you said you wanted to see more of Domino, I take you to the one place which really matters, it's a club called Bar None. You'll love it." Jazz smiled at that, she loved to go clubbing, and she would have great company. She was sure her parents wouldn't mind, but if they did she would go anyway.
Jazz smiled at Tristan and nodded her acceptance, already planning her head what to wear. The bell rang, and Jazz gave Bakura and Ryou a small hug, Tristan's lasted slightly longer, was more intense, and he could have sworn that he felt Jazz's lips brush past his cheek.
He didn't like to admit it, but he did find Jazz incredibly attractive. He felt bad because he knew that Yugi liked her as well, and he really didn't want to hurt Yugi, but he found her so hard to resist. It was almost as if she had bewitched him…and he liked the feeling.
Jazz was in her room, clothes strewn across the floor, bed, chair, desk, and every other available surface. She wanted to be dressed just right for tonight. Tonight had to be just perfect.
She was standing in a tiny red thong, and a red and black lace bra, but Jazz hardly felt happy at what she saw. Her thighs were littered with scars, like spiders webs, weaving their way across the skin, the scars on her wrists were red and angry looking, an eternal reminder about what had happened, and the rest of her was pale and emaciated. Still, with some good clothes Jazz was sure she could make herself look better; she had had many years of practice at this.
Hmmm, maybe the black miniskirt, the one with the slit up it…yes that looks good, and then, the thigh high black leather boots, yes…not bad, and for a top, what can I wear for a top? This was something that Jazz had done when she had lived with her brother, kept a running commentary of whatever she was doing. It was a way of escaping from his penetrating gaze, and keeping her concentration on whatever she was doing.
Suddenly she heard a cars horn, and knew that it was Tristan, coming to pick her up with a group of his mates, all of whom had left school.
The car was a battered red Honda, with music pounding out form the speakers. The guy in the driving seat was hitting the dashboard and there was a stunning blonde girl hanging all over him. Tristan was standing outside of the car, waiting for Jazz. He gave a small whistle when he saw her.
"Wow, you look stunning," he said with a stupid grin all over his face. Jazz smiled, she hoped she did. She had put a lot of effort into this outfit. Her top was technically a black leather bra with a few extra straps snaking their way around Jazz's stomach and hips. It revealed that Jazz had her belly button pierced, and a small snake tattooed on her shoulder blade. Tristan's jaw was on the floor, he had never seen anyone look quite as good as Jazz did.
"Your carriage awaits you, my princess," he said with a grin.
Jazz slid into the car, Tristan not far behind her. He draped a protective arm around her shoulders, and didn't say anything for the rest of the journey; he just had a stupid grin on his face. Jazz couldn't help admiring him though. He really was very good looking. He was wearing a crumpled wine red shirt, and a black trench coat, and his hair was gelled up to the seemingly impossible angle it always was.
Soon they reached Bar None, and Jazz couldn't help smile as they pushed past the long queue and walked right in.
"The bouncer knows us, we come here a lot, and we know the owner, it gives us certain… privileges," Tristan said as they walked through the doors into dark smoky club.
"Looks good," said Jazz with a grin, "lots of dark corners to get lost in, and the music's not bad either."
"Want a drink? We might be meeting Yugi, tea, Joey and Ryou later, but I thought we might want a bit of time to ourselves first."
Tristan led her over to the bar, where he simply signaled to the bar tender, and two Bacardi Breezers appeared in front of them. Jazz knew that she shouldn't be drinking, she was too young for one thing, but she felt the need to escape, and this was as good a way as any.
Suddenly the song changed and Jazz recognized it.
"I love this song," she squealed, "come and dance with me," and she was off towards the dance floor, dragging Tristan by the hand behind her. Soon they were on the dance floor, colored lights and smoke machines everywhere.
Jazz placed her arms around Tristan's neck, and he pulled her close, hands resting lightly on her hips. They started moving in time to the music, hips grinding together. Jazz could almost feel the passion between them, as she rested her head on his shoulder. They kept on dancing, bodies moving perfectly together. Jazz had never felt anything like this before, to be so close to someone, but for them to have no expectations from her. Anything that happened would be her choice, and would be something that she wouldn't regret.
Looking up into Tristan's endless brown eyes, so deep you could drown in them, Jazz knew what she wanted, she wanted something to happen, so gently and hesitantly she kissed Tristan, soft full lips pressing down on his. For a moment he was too shocked to do anything, but then he found himself kissing Jazz back.
They kissed with more and more passion, mouths opening to allow tongues and lips to dance. Despite what Jazz had been through with her brother, she had never felt desire, or lust like this. She wanted Tristan bad, that much was obvious.
Tristan was in heaven, he loved the way Jazz moved against him, the way they fit together, the way he could feel his heart beating next to his, this was how it was meant to be. He wanted Jazz bad, that much was obvious.
Slowly, reluctantly they broke from the away from the kiss, and Tristan took her by the hand and walked her off the dance floor, towards the bar. Jazz was still reeling after the kiss and was feeling kind of annoyed that it had finished.
"Wait here for me, I'll be back in a minute," Tristan confidently walked off into the crowd, leaving Jazz sitting on a bar stool looking around. Suddenly she felt someone's hot breath in her ear. She turned around to find a guy with multiple piercing's and tattoos covering his body. He was doing his best to stare down her top, and his hand was brushing up against her thigh, stroking it, and moving farther and farther up her leg.
"Tell me, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Jazz just stared at the guy for a minute. That creep, that pig, he actually used that chat up line on me, ewwww, and what makes the son a bitch even think he would have a chance in hell with me.
Jazz stared him straight I the eye, leant seductively forward and whispered into his ear, "Trying to avoid pricks like you."
Suddenly a strong hand clamped down on the guys shoulder, it was Tristan.
"Stay away form my girl," he said, the other guy left without looking back.
Jazz smiled up at him, he really was gorgeous.
"Am I?" she asked with a smile on her face.
"Are you what?" replied Tristan, a puzzled frown on his face.
"Your girl?" Tristan's frown disappeared and he just grinned.
"Of course you are," and he swept her up into another passionate kiss.
Suddenly he broke away from the kiss, and Jazz let out a little disappointed moan. She needed him so bad. She looked up at him, and noticed that he was holding car keys.
"Thought we could go for a ride."
Jazz loved the sound of that and followed Tristan out of the club and to the car without question. It didn't matter that he was too young to drive; she just wanted to get away and go somewhere private
Soon they were parking by a beautiful big lake, the full moon reflected in the still clear waters.
"Oh…it's beautiful here…what is this place?" murmured Jazz, as she snuggled into Tristan's powerful embrace.
"Home," and with that he stood up, and got out of the car. Jazz followed, a questioning frown on her face. He led her through the trees, until they came across a huge gothic style mansion. Jazz was amazed, it was beautiful, sure it looked a little run down, with a few broken windows, and the rest boarded up, but it was still beautiful, with Gargoyles staring at tem from the roof, and huge stone pillars.
"You live here?" asked Jazz, amazed at what she was seeing. This place was beautiful, and reminded her so much of the architecture of England.
Tristan smiled at that, "I never said I lived here,"
Jazz looked confused, "But I thought you said that this was…"
"Home, yes, when I'm here I drop all pretences, and I can be my self. This house once belonged to a rich old eccentric English man who moved over here. He died, and the house has been passed down the first male of the family line for years. No one wants to live here and it has been left derelict. One day I will buy this house, and then I will live here, and it will be my home. I just thought that you should see it."
"Are you going to show me around then, or are we just going to stand here looking at it?" asked Jazz with a cheeky grin.
"Right this way," and they walked through some broken boards.
Jazz saw what would be the kitchen, the lounge, the dining room, the games room, the TV room, a room just for Tristan's clothes, a room just for his shoes, the house was enormous, but Jazz still hadn't seen the room she was most interested in.
"So tell me, where do you plan on sleeping."
Tristan led her up the huge marble staircase, up to a huge oak door. He made Jazz close her eyes before opening the door, and when he did, Jazz was amazed. This room was definitely the biggest in the house that she had seen. There was a huge four poster bed in the centre of the room, which was in remarkably good condition. The drapes, which were blood red and black were a bit moth eaten for sure, but Jazz didn't mind. To her this house was beautiful.
"Oh Tristan, this is amazing." Jazz ran to the bed and jumped onto it. She was surrounded by a sea of cushions, and she felt like a queen. Tristan came up next to her, and quickly captured her lips with his own. Jazz leant into the kiss, deepening it, and filling it with more passion. She felt his tongue flicking against her lips, requesting entrance, which she willingly gave. This was possibly one of the most intimate things that Jazz had ever done. She had had many men, for sure, but they had never taken any time over her, they had never kissed her, never held her, they saw her as an object, and used her as one. They came in to the tiny apartment, did the deed, left the money on the dresser, and then went home to their sad little lives. None of them had ever brought her to an orgasm, but she knew that this time would be different. Tristan would be different.
Running her fingers through his hair, Jazz couldn't help moaning with pleasure. Tristan's hands were moving all over her body, exploring every part of her through her clothes. Suddenly he broke away from the kiss and surveyed jazz thoughtfully.
"You know that's a very sexy top you're wearing and all, but I can't help thinking it would look better off. Now, if you could just tell me how to start and all, because there's like so many buckles and straps on there and all, and I'm not quite sure where to start." Jazz smiled at this, so she stood up and walked away from Tristan so that she was standing in the middle of the room.
"First I would start with shoes," and Jazz bent over, giving Tristan a flash of cleavage before unzipping her boots and stepping out of them, "and then it would be the skirt," Jazz reached behind her and unzipped the skirt and let that fall to the floor, "and then…what? What are you looking at?" Jazz followed Tristan's gaze, and saw that he was staring at her thighs, the fresh scabs still covering many of the cuts. "Oh, those."
"Yeah, those, Jazz what are you doing to your self, why are you doing that to your self?" Tristan looked so concerned, a frown creasing his face.
Jazz felt so bad, things had been going so well, things would have been different, and then, because of her own weakness she had gone and screwed things up. She was so angry with herself.
Sliding across the bed to Tristan, Jazz tried to kiss him, tried to recapture some of the lost mood. Tristan pulled away, a look of utter sadness in his eyes.
"Jazz, when I brought you here I wanted something to happen, hell, I wanted you, but then I saw what you were doing to yourself, and I knew that you weren't someone I could come to for a easy shag. I don't want you to think that I was leading you on or something, but I can't do this, you have a problem, and it needs sorting out. I will be here for you, and I would like to keep on seeing you but you need to sort out whatever ghosts are haunting you." Tristan spoke with such sadness, and compassion, and love that Jazz could do nothing but nod, tears spilling out of her eyes, black tracks of mascara staining her cheeks.
"Okay… okay Tristan, but I think you should take me back to my house now, I should go," and Jazz stood up, but her skirt and boots back on and walked out of the room, back towards the car.
Tristan let out a huge sigh, who knew there was so much to Jazz, today at lunch she had seemed so happy and care free.
The drive back to Jazz's house passed in silence, Jazz staring out of her window, looking at the rain as it pelted down, Tristan watching the road.
When they arrived at Jazz's house she ran out of the car and to the door without do much as looking back, not because of the rain, she loved the rain, but because she needed to put as much space between her and Tristan as possible.
She opened the door and found her parents waiting for her. They started to say something, but she just looked at them, tears spilling over her cheeks, before running upstairs and locking the door.
Opening her cupboards she moved the clothes aside, and picked up the razor, and cut at her thighs, again and again, watching the blood flow down the white skin of her legs.
It wasn't enough though, something was different, Jazz wasn't getting the release, the freedom that she usually did. She placed the razor on the side of the bath, and looked down at her wrists where the leather cuffs were in place covering the scars there.
Reaching out with trembling fingers, Jazz took off the cuffs, and picked up the razor. With one finger she drew a black nail across the scar, and then quickly drew the blade across the scar. Suddenly she felt the release she had desired, the freedom, the chains that were binding her had been removed, and she was flying, free, and then everything went black.
Thanx to Kilara-May, first reviews are always good, and I hope you like this chappie.
A/N sorry to end it there and all, but I will update soon, hopefully before Christmas and all………oh yeah, one thing, after Christmas I'm going on a choir tour to Europe, so I wont be able to update for a month. Sorry bout that….will try and put at least another chapter up before I go.