Fifth Encounter

Determined not to follow Sakura anymore, Gaara searched for other ways to keep away the boredom. He had decided that boredom caused the demon inside to call louder for death, and the only reason the days with Sakura had seemed so much better was because of the killing he had done. Any killing he had done since then was strictly on a contract basis.

It had nothing to do with Sakura. She meant nothing to him. The life she lived was boring and futile.

Gaara tried to follow others. He had trailed Ino for almost a week, intrigued by her and the man she was always with. He couldn't figure out why the seemed to find so much pleasure in each others arms and then at night when they…

Gaara had never been told about sex. What use would it ever be to him? He had heard stupid jokes about it, and he understood some things; things everyone knew. Sex made babies.

He didn't think Ino wanted children.

He had soon grown bored with their repetitive behavior anyway, so he followed others. It seemed everyone in this town followed some useless routine. They all went through the same experiences every day. Gaara hated the thought of ever living like them.

So he decided to return to the sands. There was nothing for him in Konoha.

Sakura put down her bags for the night. The nights here were much colder than the days. She remembered that much.

Here, the Sand Country. She felt so stupid returning here.

'I'm traveling,' she told herself for the umpteenth time that day, 'If I'm going to be lonely, I might as well be alone.'

A week after Gaara ran away she grew fed up with her life and decided to take a break. She just needed some time away then she would be ready to go back. So she had closed up her shop, said goodbye to her friends in Konoha and left for a little alone time.

Two weeks later she was back in the desert, and now that she was here she decided she wanted to go back to the town she had run away from. See what had become of it.

Gaara was stopped by Sasuke in the forest.

"What are you doing here Gaara?" he demanded.

Gaara refused to respond, only standing with his arms crossed across his chest.

Sasuke didn't take the hint, "You've been following Sakura, haven't you?" Gaara's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, "That's why she was so afraid, why she left."

She left? Where did she go?

Sasuke continued, "Leave her alone, or I'll stop you."

Gaara let Sasuke see his anger then, "You're a fool." He said and shifted his stance a little.

"Fine." Sasuke actually attacked Gaara. Before he could do anything he was engulfed in sand. He let the sand batter against Sasuke's eyelids, forcing him to keep his eyes closed.

"If I want to follow her, I will follow her." Gaara hissed at Sasuke, "If I want, I will kill her. You can't stop me." 'And you're wrong. Sakura isn't afraid of me.' He tightened the grip his sand had on Sasuke, slowly suffocating him.

Part of Gaara reveled in the feeling of killing, another told him to kill Sasuke faster, while his own self told him to stop, to gain control of himself.

'If you kill him now, Sakura will always hate you, more than she does now.' A voice whispered in the back of his mind. It was soon shut up and locked away, but Gaara had already dropped Sasuke and walked away.

"You did this." Sakura murmured to the desert winds as she stood in all that was left of what had once been a town. Maybe the winds would carry her words to the one who had destroyed it.

The buildings were flattened, flooded with sand from the years and from him. 'You know he didn't do it for you,' that cruel voice told her, but she didn't care. She was just glad it was gone. The bastards deserved all the pain he had shown them.

After some digging around Sakura found the well and refilled her canteens. Some more searching uncovered some dehydrated food in a storage that was still intact. Sakura made herself a shelter with what was left of a building and started a fire as best she could.

A flicker of movement caught her eye, her hand automatically flicked a kunai knife at it. Sakura approached her knife and found a lizard skewered on it.

"Nice."

After a dinner of roasted lizard and some shriveled fruit Sakura settled down under her blanket, thinking happily of the fate of this town.

'Now,' she thought, 'Now I can die and I will die satisfied.'

Gaara hadn't expected her to ever return to the country of Sand, yet here she was, huddled in the shadows of buildings he had destroyed.

She seemed to be asleep. Didn't she notice the approaching sandstorm? Was she just stupid or did she want to die? Gaara realized that it looked like she did want to die, seeing as how nothing around her looked to have been touched for days. Had she been sleeping for so long?

He had told her he wouldn't touch her again, now that he knew what she felt like, but he wanted to touch her hair again. He forced himself to remains still until she woke up. She didn't move. Maybe he should wake her.

The sandstorm would be upon them soon, yet still she did not move.

Gaara felt something he had never felt before: worry. He checked her for signs of life, though he already knew she was alive. Her breathing was so slow; it was the kind of sleep you don't wake up from by yourself. The kind of sleep that leads to death.

Gaara called her name, but she didn't react so he shook her a little. He had to pour some water into her mouth to get her to wake, sputtering. She sat up quickly and coughed the water onto her knees.

Gaara let out a breath and she noticed him. "Gaara!" she backed away until her back was against the wall.

Gaara rolled his eyes and sat back on his feet. He would have let her speak first except… "There's a storm coming."

Sakura looked around and saw the storm. When she saw it she pressed further against the wall. "Well shit."

"I can shield you as well." Gaara offered.

Sakura eyed Gaara suspiciously but she nodded.

"You'll have to come closer."

Sakura moved to sit next to Gaara and just as they were hit with the natural sandstorm he put up one of his own to keep it at bay.

He sat beside Sakura and closed his eyes, concentrating a part of himself on the sand. He laughed silently at Sasuke. He had been afraid of what Gaara would do to Sakura? He couldn't even bring himself to touch her.

"You destroyed the town, didn't you?" Sakura asked.

"Yes." Gaara wasn't going to lie. If she was going to hate him, at least let it be for something he had done.

"I'm glad." Sakura pulled her knees up under her chin, "They deserved everything you did, and worse. Do you know what they did?"

Gaara didn't think he wanted to know.

But Sakura went on, "They raped me." Her voice was so cold, he was reminded of himself. Had he given her that coldness? "They took me from my home, they beat me, they forced me to have sex with them and then they laughed…" She hid her face behind her knees, but she kept talking. "I wanted to kill them all myself, except when they were talking, when they would say all those thingsto me, about me being weak and dirty and useless, it all made sense."

Gaara didn't really want to be there with her at that moment. He had no idea how to act, no idea what to say. He wanted to run again, but that would leave Sakura exposed to the storm.

Sakura noticed Gaara shifting uncomfortably. "If you really want to go, just go. I won't be angry. I'd understand if you left."

Sakura felt sure she would cry, but it seemed she was too out of practice. Instead she just felt miserable. There really was no reason for her to live. Everything she could have wanted she had gotten. The death of those disgusting men, a job she was good at, even the love she had grown to want: none. What more could she reasonably ask for?

Gaara was silent. He didn't move. Sakura lifted her head to look at him. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the sand swirling around them.

"This is what it feels like." He said.

"What?"

Gaara turned to her. "You once asked me what it feels like inside a sandstorm."

Sakura stared at him blankly, "You remember that?"

She could have sworn she saw him blush before he turned back to the storm and shrugged.

Sakura turned away and drank from her canteen. She felt better for some reason, knowing that Gaara remembered something she had said years ago. When she had her fill she handed the canteen to Gaara.

"Are you injured?" he asked unexpectedly.

"No I'm not…" 'Oh.' Sakura realized what it was and clamped her knees together. It was nearing that time of the month again wasn't it?

"Then whose blood is it? Was there someone else here?"

"No Gaara, it's just, um…"

"You're bleeding Sakura," Gaara turned to face her.

Sakura could feel herself blushing and she hated it. How could he be so naïve? "Yes I'm bleeding! For gods' sake, I'm having my period."

Gaara gave her a blank stare, "What's that?"

'Is this guy for real?' Sakura tried her best to explain female anatomy to Gaara, but she had a hard time doing so.

"So you're having a child?"

Sakura wondered if he was brain dead, but then she realized he hadn't had anyone to teach him these sorts of things. 'Things like the miracle of life, social finesse and how to talk to people.'

"No, I'm not having a child. If I was pregnant I wouldn't be having my period. And besides, I can't have children." Oh great, why'd she have to go and say a thing like that to Gaara?

But Gaara didn't say anymore. He turned back to watching the storm. For some crazy reason, Sakura went on. She guessed it was because she just wanted to tell someone, having kept it all a secret for so long.

"Because they damaged me inside." Sakura winced at the truth of her words.

"And outside." Gaara added.

Sakura touched her throat. He knew it was scarred, he had touched it. He didn't know how she got them, but he could probably guess. Most of her scars came from here.

"Why did you do it?" she asked, "Why did you try to kill me?"

Gaara wanted to ignore her. He really, really wanted to walk away now, but still he wouldn't leave her to the storm. "I wanted to know what it felt like."

"You could have just asked." Sakura muttered.

"And what would your answer have been?" Gaara asked angrily, already knowing the answer. Sakura was silent.

They sat without talking for the duration of the storm after that. Gaara let down his barrier and stood to leave as the storm passed away. Being near Sakura was only frustrating to him. He doubted there was any hope she would stop hating him now.

"Wait Gaara!" she called and he stopped. She ran over to stand in front of him. The smell of blood was all over her. "Why did you come here?"

"I was just passing through."

"You mean, it had nothing to do with me?"

Gaara didn't answer. She would hate the answer if he told her the truth, which he would. Why should he lie to her?

When she next spoke though, she didn't ask him again. "Do you know why I followed you, when you found me out here?" She looked at her feet then back at him. He looked at her feet too. They were swollen and red from the sun. The skin on her big toe was peeling off around the toenail. "Because I knew that even if you did kill me, you wouldn't hurt me like the others had. Because I knew that you at least wouldn't humiliate me like that."

Gaara shook his head angrily, "You don't know that." He tried to get past her, but she blocked his way.

"I'm asking you not to leave Gaara. I just want you to stay with me, if only for a little while. Walk me home."

"…Where is home?"

Sakura made Gaara turn away so she could change into clean clothes. 'What a lovely way to start the trip home,' she thought morosely, 'How will I explain this to everyone?'

She decided then to just screw it. She would tell them Gaara was her friend and he was staying with her. 'Is he really my friend though? What's to keep him from killing me in my sleep out of curiosity?'

'Well, if he was going to kill you, what difference does it make if he just happens to be living with you at the same time?'

'Ugh, living with me. It's going to be so awkward, if he does stay. People will think all sorts of perverted things about us.'

"Are you done yet?" Gaara asked, interrupting her mental battle.

"Don't look!" she shrieked.

"I'm not." He replied, and she believed him.

Gaara sighed inwardly. Sure, they might have had a nice 'moment' back there, but that didn't stop the silence from stretching between them. Sakura wasn't even humming. 'Good thing.'

Gaara had begun to wonder if they would walk all the way back to Konoha in silence when Sakura spoke up.

"So, what have you been up to?"

Gaara shrugged, "Hiring out my services."

"You must be pretty wealthy by now with your talents. Do you have a nice place?"

"Oh yeah, it's a pretty sweet pad."

Sakura made a strangled noise. Gaara suspected it was laughter.

Once she recovered she asked him again, "Ok, but seriously."

"I don't have a 'place' as you say. There's no point in my case."

Sakura shrugged, "It's just nice to have someplace to go home to at the end of the day."

"Whatever." Having never really had such a place to go home to, Gaara found it hard to agree with her. There was no reason for him to go anywhere at the end of the day; his days never really ended.

"So I guess you just travel all the time then?" she asked. Gaara wondered why she was asking so many questions. It was kind of annoying.

He chose to ignore her question, which she had already answered for herself. He remembered then what he had done before coming out here and finding her, "Sasuke will want to kill me."

Sakura snorted, "I'm sure he would." Gaara couldn't help grinning a little. So that had changed too since two years ago.

"Hey, do you think we could go back to that oasis? My water supply is getting pretty low." Sakura said.

"It's in the wrong direction."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "So let's go to an oasis in the right direction. I'm just telling you I need water."

The water was lovely, Sakura decided. She wished she could heat it up and take a bath, but that would be such a waste. Water was too precious out here.

This oasis was much smaller than the other, but that didn't bother her. She liked this one better actually.

"Can we stay here tonight?" she asked of Gaara, who sat some feet away. She wondered again why he would bother following her anywhere.

Gaara shrugged.

Then again, maybe he hadn't followed her here. He hadn't answered him when she asked him about it. Sakura sighed and pulled off her sandals, deciding it was better not to ask him again. She dipped her feet in the clear water and smiled at the immediate cooling sensation. If Gaara had been someone else she would have suggested he do the same. Instead she lay back to watch the harsh cloudless sky.

"You're unusually quiet." Gaara remarked. Sakura jumped; she thought he had been meditating. She actually hadn't expected him to say anything, let alone talk as pointless at this. It was just so unGaara-like.

She rolled onto her stomach to observe him. He had not moved from his seat away from the water. "Do you not like water?" she asked, disregarding his comment.

"Do you always ignore what people say to you?" he returned.

Sakura shook her head angrily, "You're the one who's always ignoring people! Do you ever wonder why you don't understand them?" She would have gone on, but she seemed to have struck a nerve. Cautiously she approached Gaara, who had closed his eyes. "You do, don't you?"

"No."

Sakura sat back on her feet and watched him. He was like a child when it came to some things. "You're a bad liar."

He opened his eyes to glare at her, "Shut up." But she wasn't so afraid of him anymore that she would run away. Instead of shutting up and backing away as he wanted she crawled up and sat next to him, purposely looking at the water as he glared at her.

"What do you want?"

Sakura shrugged, "I already told you. I just want you to walk home with me. I'm not expecting anything from you."

"Expecting anything?"

Sakura blushed, glad Gaara was himself at that moment. If it had been someone else they would have thought she meant she wasn't expecting… anything romantic, she finished weakly, unable to even think of what they would really want. Funny how plainly she could speak of it out loud, but in her mind she couldn't even say it.

Gaara noticed Sakura wasn't paying attention anymore and decided to let her be. So he started to meditate. If he was meditating she probably wouldn't bother him, he told himself.

For some reason he was having a hard time meditating. His mind was maddeningly occupied with the woman sitting next to him. She wasn't touching him, but he could feel her there, the faint heat from her body. He could feel her hair in his fingers, her neck in his hands…

He regretted that. He could no longer even imagine killing her, but now she would always be so wary of him.

'So what? So what if she's wary of you? What are you going to do to her that would be better if she trusted you?' Images of Sakura telling him her reasons for following him jumped to mind. He had at least that much trust from her.

'Listen to yourself, worrying about the trust of some pitiful little girl. What's gotten into you? We should kill her!"

Gaara recognized his demon and shut it up.

His eyes snapped open when he felt someone touching his hair. When he turned to face her, she dropped his hair and jumped back into a defensive crouch.

After a tense minute she grinned at him, "I just wanted to know what it felt like."

Sakura watched Gaara's back nervously. She had no idea what to say anymore. She wasn't even really sure what had happened last night. He acted like it was nothing, but surely she couldn't just get away with touching his hair.

He hadn't said anything, or done anything really. He just went back to meditating and then in the morning she woke up and they left.

Sakura felt ready to scream. She held it back at first, but then she thought, 'Why not?' They were in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles and miles, so there was no reason to hold back. She threw back her head and yelled as long and loudly as she could.

Instantly she was wrapped in sand and for a moment she panicked, thinking that now he was going to kill her. She soon realized she wasn't being squeezed to death; she wasn't being squeezed at all.

Then Gaara's face appeared through the sand, glaring at her, "Why did you do that?"

"Because we're in the middle of nowhere, and I haven't had that luxury for too long," Sakura said with a grin and immediately Gaara's sand fell away and he turned back to the invisible path he was following. Sakura followed a bit more slowly.

'What was that all about?' she wondered, 'Was he worried for me? Aw, how sweet.' She laughed out loud at the thought.

'Now she's laughing at you,' the demon laughed.

'Shut up.'

'Why don't you tell her that. She's getting on my nerves. Better yet, how about you shut her up yourself?'

Gaara pushed the demon out of his thoughts. He had agreed with it too much in the past, now it thought it could control him. Well, it couldn't.

Gaara waited for Sakura to catch up with him. He started walking again once she had, matching his stride to her own.

"Almost there," Sakura commented.