Disclaimer: No, no, I won't say it! You can't make me!

Ooh, chocolate…no, gimme gimme gimme!

Okay, you twisted my arm.

I…don't own…any…of the characters…In…this fic…and Tamora…Pierce…Tamora Pierce DOES!

Can I have the chocolate now?

It seems strange to me now, but when Edwin died, I realised I had been waiting for it, as all those who are left behind during times of war do. I was as tense as a lute string, ready to snap at any moment, afraid to hope, and terrified not to.

You would have thought it would have been a relief, in a way, that the ever-present fear was gone, but instead it felt as though a vast weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and then replaced with an even greater one.

I suppose I should have realised that that weight would never truly be gone, yet after I found Edwin's sword in the gardens, I threw myself into activity, organising charitable events, visiting friends and relatives, and rejoining the court and its endless round of parties, flirting, balls and dances, and ever-more complicated entertainment for frivolous amusement.

It was at one of these that I fell into conversation – real conversation I mean, not empty flirtatious nothings – with Jasson. Inevitably, the talk eventually moved round to Edwin.

"I'm sorry, of course, but – well, he died bravely."

He died bravely. It was an empty phrase, one that seemed to say everything but in fact told me as much as one of my silk stockings would. Yet I was happy with it – no, not happy, but safe. I did not, and had never wanted to, find out what exactly happened. It spared me the horror of imagining his death, over and over again, with no respite. But something in the way Jasson said it made me wonder. He – Edwin, that is – was my brother, my closest companion and friend. And I couldn't even claim to know where he was taken from me. Besides, I had had enough of the safe cocoon of mourning, which protected me as surely as any knight.

"Tell me…" I hesitated. I was not morbid and, vain as I was, did not wish this young man with his wonderfully piercing blue eyes, to think so. But... "Please – what happened?"

He looked up, his face surprised and, I think now, troubled. But then, how much clearer do we see in hindsight?

"You really want to know?"

Oh dear. He thought me a ghoulish girl indeed. But I had to know. I had to. Suddenly, it seemed to me as though there was nothing in the world as important as this, that which gave me so much pain.

"Yes. Yes, I do. He – well, you knew him, you knew how close we were. It would mean a great deal to me."

Still he hesitated. Then I realised how inconsiderate I had been.

"No, how foolish of me. He was your best friend – your sorrow is as great as mine. Forgive me."

He looked up, his face suddenly angry. "I assure you that my…grief…is not the reason for my reticence. Nay, my lady of Gersholme, I curse the day I ever laid eyes on your bastard brother!"

Shocked, I recoiled from him, my mind in turmoil. Immediately his expression changed, a look of contrition replacing the distant, angry face of a moment ago.

"Aria, I'm sorry. I – Aria! Come back! Aria!"

But I was long gone, forcing my way through the crowded ballroom towards the door, not caring who I knocked into. Once outside, Jasson's words ringing in my ears, I moved swiftly through the Palace corridors, not caring where I was going. Occasionally one or other of my friends or acquaintances met me, and called after me, but I paid them no heed. One of the few certainties I had had as I grew up was Jasson-and-Edwin, the terrible two, the duo, the double act, best of friends. Yet Jasson had spoken as if he hated Edwin, no, despised him.

I found myself in the Library, with its slightly musty smell of old leather and parchment, and the safe soft sense of the old fashioned velvet window-seat cushions and dark furniture. Finally coming to a halt, I crumpled onto a corner seat, my head spinning. By the time my father found me, I was asleep.

Wow. I don't believe this. A third chapter! And I'm not even that bored with it! I have given up telling people to review, and have come up with a new method.

Ready? It's a pretty good plan, I warn you.

Once you've read it, tell someone else to read it. And then review. Whaddya think? I think it's pretty bloody fantastic, to be honest.

Lullabee