Title: Gossip 1/1

Author: Doc

Rating: R

Notes: I love writing these. Yes, another dialogue fic. Thanks for requesting more.

Feedback: Please

Oval Office

"He takes his pants off while he writes?"

"Yep. Sam always complained about it. Will complained about it when he was here. Annabeth hasn't really complained yet. I think she likes it."

"I can't picture him without pants. Maybe I should visit during an evening when he's writing."

"Why?"

"Why do you think, Jethro?"

"You'll see him without his pants."

"Yes..."

"Then why?"

"How in the hell did you get elected President?"

"Beats the hell out of me. Why do you want to see him without his pants?"

"I hear things."

"You didn't hear about him walking around without his pants on."

"No. But I hear other things. This place is full of gossip."

"You're the First Lady. When do you hear gossip?"

"I hang around the bathrooms like everyone else."

"What is this? High School?"

"I hear things."

"Such as?"

"Well, I can't tell you. It's a secret."

"Gossip is gossip so everyone can find out."

"You just made that up."

"I did no such thing."

"Liar."

"So, you hear things?"

"Yep."

"About me?"

"Not everything in this White House is about you, my love."

"Come on, Abigail. Dish out the goodies."

"What are you? My girlfriend?"

"I'll have you know I'd look good in a dress. I have fantastic legs."

"Spare me the details."

"Come on. I'm the President and I can make people fall to their knees."

"Not in the Oval Office, Jed!"

"I'm not talking about that! See, now you've made me blush."

"No I didn't."

"True. But I want to know this gossip."

"You won't let it go, will you?"

"Nope."

"It's about Toby. I'm not saying anymore."

"Ah, but you will. Toby is my favorite subject. What's the gossip?"

"I don't think you'll appreciate it."

"Why. Did he say something about me again?"

"Yeah. I think maybe we should meet him outside by the swings at recess and kick his ass."

"I'm not a violent guy, Abbey. So he didn't say anything about me?"

"No. He didn't say anything about you."

"Are you sure? Because I thought I heard him commenting about how I was eating too many bagels at staff this morning."

"Oh god..."

"Be honest. Do I look fat?"

"Are we really having this conversation?"

"You're not gossiping with me because I'm fat. Fine, I get it."

"Fine I'll tell you. But you can't share this information with anyone else."

"Goody!"

"That's applicable to those who don't speak English as well. And did you just say, 'goody'?"

"Tell me!"

"Fine. Word has it Toby comes quite packaged."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You know..."

"Why are you pointing at your crotch?"

"Again I ask, Who the hell elected this man?"

"Toby comes quite pack...OH! I get it. He's got a big..."

"Yes."

"How big?"

"Well, that's where the rumors vary."

"Vary between?"

"Some say ten. Some say even twelve."

"Hard?"

"What?"

"Is that the size while hard?"

"God, I don't know. I haven't seen it."

"Yet you're thinking that going down when he's writing and walking around without his pants on, that you'll get a better idea about the size?"

"Possibly."

"I feel so..."

"So what?"

"Like you're cheating on me."

"Oh, I am not. I'm just curious."

"About the size of another man's...

"Curiosity. It's just curiosity."

"Mine's not that big."

"I know."

"I'm leaving. You hurt my feelings now and I need ice cream."

"You really are my girlfriend."

"Shut up."

Local Bar

"It's good to be back in DC, don't you think?"

"I guess."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"Possibly."

"Donna, a man doesn't like it when a woman looks at another man."

"I'm not your woman, Josh. That's the only time that saying counts!"

"You were basically undressing him with your eyes."

"I was just looking."

"He had his pants off. You don't look at a man down there when his pants are off."

"I heard things about it."

"About what?"

"About it."

"Toby's it?"

"Yes."

"People gossip about Toby's..."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, before Andrea and Toby got divorced, Andi sort of dished about Toby."

"Dished how?"

"Sex."

"I need a few more drinks before we continue with this conversation."

Communications Bullpen

"Did you see it?"

"I tried, but he slammed the door in my face."

"We've been his secretaries for almost 8 years, and we still haven't seen it."

"Well, to be honest. Being his secretaries, we shouldn't get to see it. But I know where you're coming from."

"Bonnie, he does this on purpose."

"What?"

"He walks around without his pants on just to annoy us."

"I think he thinks we like it."

"Why?"

"He actually came out of his office a few times without his pants on. Remember?"

"Oh yeah. He had that damn smirk on his face when we both looked."

"And then he hiked up his shirt a little."

"If it wasn't for those damn boxers. Why couldn't he be a briefs man?"

"Will you listen to us? I'm married, and you're..."

"I'm single, baby. I get to look."

"Ginger, this sucks...Why are you blushing?"

"You said sucks."

"You're sick."

"No. I'm just curious."

"No. You're just horny."

Local Bar

"Okay, I'm drunk. Now, what about Toby's sex life?"

"You really want to know?"

"No, but you brought it up. So now I have to know."

"Apparently he's very good in bed."

"No, I think you're confused. That's CJ."

"Nope. I mean Toby is very good in bed."

"You better not know this because of experience."

"I wish."

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyway, I guess Toby is well...packaged."

"I got a package?"

"No, Toby's well packaged. Stop drinking."

"Toby has a package?"

"So says the rumor."

"Who sent him a package? Sam?"

"God..."

"Who's Bob?"

"You're an idiot."

"You know. Speaking of Toby getting a package, I remember sharing a room with him during the campaign. That man sure is packaged."

"You saw Toby's..."

"Yep. He was coming out of the shower. Even his soft size was impressive. I mean, I'm not small. But when I saw it, damn!"

"How big was it?"

"Oh, sadly I didn't have a tape measure with me."

"You're sarcastic when you're drunk."

"Yes I am."

"If you had to guess?"

"Hey. I'm not sharing that kind of information about my friends."

"Why?"

Silence

"Josh?"

"What?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"You're an idiot."

The White House Residence

"You ate all the ice cream?"

"My wife is cheating on me."

"Oh, I am not."

"You're thinking about another man's thing."

"All I'm thinking about right now is you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You lie."

"I do."

"I need more ice cream."

"We have some pie."

"Oh, NOW you're trying to turn me into him."

"What?"

"He likes pie. You offer me pie."

"You're insane."

"Am not."

"Yes you are."

"Just shut up and give me the pie."

Toby's House

"Wow."

"Yes."

"I mean. Wow."

"Can I ask you a question before we do that again?"

"Sure."

"Why did you come over tonight and attack me?"

"I heard rumors."

"About?"

"This."

"CJ, why is your hand on my..."

"You are the subject of many discussions in the women's bathroom."

"Why am I being discussed about in the women's bathroom?"

"Word has it you're nicely packaged. I wanted to have a look to see if it was true."

"Is this because people see me walking around with no pants?"

"That's how it started."

"So, how did I measure up?"

"Perfectly. Very very nice."

"If you keep moving your hand like that, we might have to go another round."

"Promise?"

"CJ."

"Toby."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Toby. I'll say this only once. You might be as good in bed as I am."

"Never."

"Oh yes. I think you just might be."

"Tease."

The End