Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, but Bleach owns me hard.

"That test was so haaarrd," Keigo exclaimed, tipping his chair backward. "I'm so glad it's over."

"I don't think we did so bad," said Mizuiro, being positive as usual.

"What the heck are you saying? Are you saying you passed? We're supposed to be failures!" Keigo almost shrieked, eyes almost bugging out in shock. Quickly he went from one exaggerated gesture to another, more saddened one, feigning tears. "You're leaving me too, huh? For that-that KUROSAKI ICHIGO!" He pointed furiously at a deadpan orange-haired boy.

"Yo," the orange-haired boy greeted with a wry kick to Keigo's face.

"Hello, Ichigo," Mizuiro greeted, smiling calmly, unphased by Keigo's body writhing on the floor.

"IIIIchigo let's have lunch!" Keigo quickly recovered and stood up, happily holding up his lunch.

"Sure, whatever."

"Oh, where's Kuchiki-san?" Mizuiro asked.

"Hell if I know."

"Well you two are together a lot."

"It's nothing like that. She said she had an emergency 'exclusively for girls,' " Ichigo made finger gestures for quotations, mocking Rukia's normally stern voice.

Mizuiro chuckled, smiling. "Ichigo, you know nothing about girls."

"Whatever. That just means you hang around your girlfriends too much."

"Heh, well that's true."

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Rukia stood before the main entrance to school, rechecking the text message on her cell phone:

"Grave emergency. Meet me at the front of your school ASAP. Alone. You may be in danger. -Sandal-hat PS: if he asks say you have an emergency 'exclusively for girls' "

She stared at the screen, dumbfounded.

What kind of emergency is exclusively for girls?

Then her thoughts wondered to more serious matters.

Has Soul Society discovered her crimes? She contemplated the possibilities. Urahara had mentioned that he would take no responsibility if that had ever happened, so what is the exact situation to warrant such an emergency? Especially to the point that he hide his name? She would have liked to believe that Urahara was actually a decent man, and would aid her if Soul Society had indeed discovered her crimes. But she never knew with him.

Rukia tapped her foot impatiently. Where was he if this was an emergency?

Urahara casually walked past the school entrance, stopping in his tracks, seemingly surprised at seeing Rukia.

"Ah, Hello Kuchiki-san. Lovely day, isn't it? I just had to get out of the store-"

"Urahara! What is this 'emergency'?"

"Ah, emergency, emergency," he mumbled, suddenly appearing before her and within school grounds. Rukia startled. He lowered his back so he could look at her closely. He reported gravely, eyes slyly looking left and right. "There was a lot of trouble yesterday."

"Trouble?"

"Yes," then he paused to collect his thoughts. "I got something from the higher-ups. I'm afraid it might have something to do with you." He cautiously held out a closed hand.

"What is it?" Rukia asked sternly, looking attentively into his hand.

She saw two fingers unravel, and then a bright flash.

Her body collapsed to the ground. Her arms and legs felt absurdly heavy. She felt paralyzed. Was this object so strong that it caused me to collapse? No, it couldn't be. Unless -

"BAKUDOH? Urahara, what is the meaning of this!" Rukia shrieked.

Urahara chuckled heartily, hiding his mouth with his fan. He knelt down, face to face with a fuming Rukia, smiling. "Ara, Kuchiki--san, you don't look so well. I think you kids call this condition, pwnage."

Rukia scowled, shifting her skirt in hopes it wouldn't reveal anything underneath. She was stuck sitting like a frog.

"There really was a lot of trouble yesterday."

"...Like what?" Rukia reluctantly inquired.

"I was naked and willing but you didn't jump at the offer."

Rukia immediately grimaced. "Ura-URAHARA! FUC-"

He lifted one index finger, as if to speak as-a-matter-of-fact-ly, "Not only that, but you stole back your clothes and didn't pay the necessary fees."

"Ura-"

"Not only that, but you stole some of my own. I wouldn't mind that when it's after, of course"

"I-"

"Not only that, but you managed to effectively wreck my remaining clothes. I couldn't work that day at all."

"YOU," Rukia paused, almost expecting an interruption, then shrieked in embarrassment. "URAHARA! You kept interrupting me, and now I forgot what I was going to say!"

He laughed. "Kuchiki-san is really cute when she's angry," he smiled as Rukia glowered.

He gently lifted her chin, and with that same hand, brushed some strands of hair to rest behind her ear. His head came surprisingly close to her face, and he whispered something in her ear. The warmth of his breath felt tingly and icy against her ear.

Then he pulled away, smiling. "You're really tempting me with the way you're sitting right now."

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"Hey it's Kuchiki-saaan!" Keigo exclaimed in a singsongy voice.

"Who is that strange man with her? Ichigo, do you know?" Mizuiro asked.

"Sandal-h...I mean, I dunno," Ichigo tried to hide his surprise with a casual shrug.

"Did she just...head-butt him? Wow, he's knocked out cold," Mizuiro squinted, trying to decipher what was going on. "Ichigo, I think-"

"Yeah," Ichigo grunted, running towards Rukia.

"I was just gonna say that I thought that man was getting back up," Mizuiro shrugged.

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"Ichigo!" Rukia called as he ran up to her.

"Hey, did something happen? Can you get up?"

"Oh, hello Kurosaki-san. Kuchiki-san and I were just having some small talk," Urahara greeted. "Looks like my break time is over. See you later, you two." He proceeded to leave, tapping the school gate with his cane, causing it to slowly open by itself.

"URAHARA! Undo this bakudoh!" Rukia cried, still paralyzed.

He paused briefly, as if lost in a thought. "Ah, I think I may have forgotten something."

A grateful Rukia waited in his silence.

"Nah, I don't think I did," Urahara continued on his way, pretending not to notice Rukia.

"SANDAL-HAT! Get back here," Ichigo exclaimed, running after him. He scanned both sides of the street outside the school. Urahara had vanished. He retreated back to Rukia. "That guy disappeared...Hey, what are we gonna do? You're like, stuck."

"Let's go home. Now."

"What?"

"How do I explain to everybody why I'm like this? Let's go."

"What about the Hollows? Do I have to drag around my dead body and yours too!"

"I'll figure out something later. Now hurry, I think you're friends are coming."

"Fine," he reluctantly agreed.

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"Oiii...Ichigo, is everything alrig-"

Mizuiro saw Ichigo pick up Rukia in his arms and run in the general direction to his house. In an apparent rush.

"IIICHIGO! Woo, you DOG!" Keigo cheered. He rose a fist in the air. "GOOD JOB!"

"Ara, Ichigo," Mizuiro sheepishly smiled.

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Rukia crossed her arms and frowned, puffing out one side of her cheek in a childish manner. She felt embarrassed for her current physical state and also for having to involve Ichigo.

Urahara, that idiot. I will NOT play into his immaturity.

Her cell phone beeped.

"What is it? Hollow?" Ichigo asked, not anticipating the thought of having to drag his own body as well as Rukia's.

"No. Text message." Rukia pressed a couple of buttons and read it.

It read: "I'm winning. :)"

She gawked, then huffed.

"What's it say?"

"NONE OF YOUR CONCERN," she exclaimed, then tried to calm herself. "Please, let's just go home."

"Geez, fine." She really must be in that time of the month, like Mizuiro said.

You are absolutely right, Rukia thought.

Urahara, this does indeed mean war.

A/N: I am not feeling the inflexible formatting options. Ah well. Thanks for the comments everybody! Rewrote the past chapters a bit. May rewrite this one as well. You know when you jump into something when you have no idea what you're going to do? Yeah. :P