Here's another chapter for you all. Here we Go!!!
"Well, I think it was a total waste of time," Al said as he walked into the apartment, using his cane to support him and put less stress on his healing stitches. He moved and sat down on the couch.
"No one said that it was going to be easy, Al," Marcie said following him into the apartment, dropping her keys on the coffee table and looking down to where he sat.
It certainly hadn't been easy. Marcie had driven Al to Dr. Kren for his first appointment, and sat in the waiting room while Al spent a grueling two and a half hours with the doctor, talking about everything except the one thing that he should have been talking about. Every time Dr. Kren tried to bring up the subject of Gabrielle, Al somehow managed to change the subject.
As they were driving out of the parking lot, Al told Marcie that he was never going to see her again, although he wouldn't tell her why. They had argued the entire trip home, and up to their apartment.
"Tell me what happened in their Al," Marcie said, perching herself on the edge of the coffee table to look at him face to face.
"Nothing happened in there Marcie, that's the point," Al said. "We sat in that room for two and a half hours and talked about stupid things. Two and a half hours. I was practically pulling my hair out by the end of the session."
"Well, maybe she was just trying to get to know you, since it was your first session or something like that. They usually do something like that with new patients. I'm sure that she had good reason for it." Marcie rambled on. "Anyway, it will get easier every time that you go, Al."
"But I'm not going to go anymore, Marcie. I already made that perfectly clear." Al said, slouching into the couch and crossing his arms like a stubborn child.
Marcie could tell that he was wasn't telling her something, so she said, "Why Al? Why don't you want to go?"
Al tore his eyes away from her and focused his gaze out the large window of their apartment. He said, "I already told you, Marcie. It's a complete waste of time and money that we don't really have right now."
Refusing to back down, Marcie moved in closer to his face and, reaching a hand out to cup his chin, moved his head so that his eyes met hers. She said, "Yeah, it a nice excuse, Al, but I want to know the real reason."
When he said nothing, she tried coaxing him one more time, "Please Al. Talk to me. Tell me why."
"Thank you for making this meal, Nora," Bo said as he pushed the food around on his plate.
"Yeah, thanks Nora," Max said, taking a bite of food.
Nora smiled and said, "Well, Matthew did most of the really hard work. I just helped him out." She looked over at her son and smiled. He smiled back at her.
"I even picked out the entire dinner by myself," he said as he looked at Max and his dad, who were slowly working on cleaning their plates.
Bo looked at his son, and said, "Well then, it's one of the best meals I ever had. You must have gotten that from me, because it certainly didn't come from your mother."
"Hey now," Nora said. "My cooking isn't that bad."
"It just always isn't that good either," Bo said, taking a small bite of food. He looked at Matthew again and smiled as Matthew laughed at his joke.
But as soon as the smile appeared on his face though, it was gone. Bo wasn't in a smiling mood right now. He put on this act for others, trying to convince them that he was doing okay, but ob the inside, he felt like he was dying.
He heard that when you lose someone you love, the pain tends to get better as the days go by. Right now, he didn't believe it. He missed Gabrielle now more than ever.
Nora had sensed that he wasn't doing as great as he led everyone on to believe, and suggested to Matthew that they do something to help him feel better. Matthew thought of the dinner, and called Bo right away to ask him. Bo couldn't say no, even though in his heart, he didn't really want to.
Nora and Matthew had gone grocery shopping later that day and ran into Max at the store. Nora asked him how he was doing, and Max said that he was holding up okay. Nora took one look at the contents of his shopping cart, and immediately invited him to dinner. Max refused at first, saying he was worried about Al, and wanting to spend some time with him. He finally gave in after Nora's pleading became annoying.
Now here they were, sitting around the table and eating. Nora watched as Matthew talked to both Bo and Max, both of them participating in the conversation, but neither one really wanting to. She said a silent prayer, asking God to give the two of them the strength to get through this.
Marcie sat in a chair and watched Al as he slept. Al had again refused to tell her why he really didn't want to go back to Dr. Kren's office, and changed the subject immediately. Not wanting to push him too much, Marcie backed off.
Al had brought up the subject of dinner, and the two of them had a light conversation over pizza. Al hadn't eaten very much food though, and went to bed immediately after dinner was finished.
That was four hours ago, and Al was still out cold. Marcie picked up her journal and continued writing in it from where she had left off a while ago.
"The truth is, I am scared. I am scared for us and I am scared for our future together. Ever since he found out about his mother, things have not been the same for us, and I feel like I am losing him to the demons that he is battling now."
Again, she glanced at Al's sleeping form on the bed, then continued writing:
"I feel as though he doesn't trust me anymore, and that kills me inside. Every time I try and talk to him, he changes the subject of our conversation in a heartbeat, and every time he does that, I get a little pain in my chest."
Pausing to read the words she had just written, Marcie was shocked at the intensity of what she had just written. She couldn't believe that she had just written that. As she read over the last couple of paragraphs again, she realized she meant every single word of what she had written. Wiping away tears that had somehow formed in her eyes and fallen down her cheeks, she continued once more:
"Although I keep going on about us, and as much as I am scared for our future together, I am more afraid for Al by himself. I feel as though keeping everything hidden will only make things worse for him. I am scared that he is going to break mentally if he doesn't work through this. I fear that he will harm himself in some way. I pray all the time that God will give him strength to help him through, but as of right now, I don't think he is getting any of my messages."
A noise brought Marcie out of her thoughts and back into reality. She was shocked to see that Al was tossing and turning in bed. He had broken out into a sweat and was practically screaming in his sleep. Leaving her journal on the chair, she got up to go and comfort Al. She climbed onto the bed and gathered what she could of him into her arms, hoping to help calm him down and prevent him from hurting himself. After a couple of minutes, Al had settled back down again and was once again resting peacefully.
Marcie sat and continued to hold him. She had thought about the last paragraph that she had just written in her journal, and realized that her predictions were beginning to come true. Careful not to wake Al, she quietly let her emotions take over, and she sobbed quietly as she continued to hold Al as he slept in her arms.
Once she had gotten control of her emotions and her sobs subsided, she eased Al out of her arms, praying that he wouldn't wake up. When he rolled over in his sleep and continued to snore softly, she exhaled in relief. She watched him for a few seconds again, then leaned over and kissed his brow, drenched with his sweat and her tears.
She got off the bed carefully, then said quietly as she stared down at him, "This has got to stop. I am going to end this tomorrow. You and I are going to sit down, and you are going to talk to me, even if I have to force it out of you." And with that, she turned and walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
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