My Immortal
Authors note: Just a small songfic that we suddenly had the urge to write. Please read and review, and we hope that you guys enjoy it!
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just bleed
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
The young woman walked into the bedroom of her small house. Throwing herself onto the bed, she felt the tears pressing at her eyes. It had been almost three weeks. She just couldn't take it, couldn't accept that the love of her life was gone. But he was… he was gone and he was never coming back. She turned on her side, grabbing the picture off the nightstand. It was of the two of them, at Naruto and Hinata's wedding.
God, he looked so handsome, all dressed up for one of best friends' big day. She couldn't wait until the day they got married… a day she knew now would never come. A single tear slid down her cheek as she forced herself to put the picture down. After that first tear escaped her eye, there was no stopping the rest of them. They just flowed and flowed. She couldn't help it… it just hurt so badly. The pain was just so intense since his… she couldn't even bring herself to think the word 'death.'
Sniffling loudly, she stood, stumbling into the bathroom. She leaned over the sink, clinging to it so tightly that her hands were turning white. She cursed silently as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her bubblegum pink hair was a mess, her eyes were swollen, her nose was red… she was a wreck. She tried to tell herself time and time again that soon enough it would be okay. He could come home and hold her and make everything better. But he can't come home, he's dead, she thought bitterly. She felt the anger coursing through her, growing rapidly by the minute. Why the hell shouldn't she be? She was mad at him for leaving her, mad at herself for not being able to accept that he was gone, mad at that he had taken that mission alone without her and left her behind.
She had wanted to participate in the mission, but he had refused to let her. The mission was a highly ranked one, he had said, and he did not want her to get hurt. That was so like him, he cared for everyone close to him, but he didn't care about himself.
She felt the tears coming again, so she shut off the bathroom light and went back into the bedroom. She climbed back in bed, pulling the covers up over her head and curling into a fetal position, hoping that the sadness would end soon.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have… all of me
Later that night, she spent her time gazing through her photo albums of him and her. They had been so happy together, she remembered. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she flipped from page to page, remembering the times she had shared with him.
She had been so happy with him, but all because of one mission, just one mission, he had slipped away from her. She thought back to the day when they had held a memorial for him. Everyone close to him had been present. The ex. rookie nine, his ex and present teammates, hell, practically everyone was present, even the Hokage. Even Kakashi was on time on that day. Tears flowed down freely as she remembered what Naruto, one of his best friends and teammate had said about him.
"He's the kind of guy you won't be able to forget, no matter how hard you try. He was one of the best friends a guy could have. One thing about him that people don't seem to realize is that he's fiercely loyal… once you break down those initial walls, he'd take his life for you. All I can think about is how much he'll be missed and how much we all loved him…"
The tears dripped down, dampening the photos in the album, but she didn't really notice. Her world felt so empty at the moment. She didn't think she could ever laugh again, at least not sincerely. Her world was taken from her in an instant. The man she'd laughed with, cried with, and told her deepest secrets too was dead. She lay back on the couch, biting her lip to try and stifle her sob, but it didn't work. She grabbed the pillow she had brought downstairs with her, clutching it tightly as she let the tears overcome her yet again.
You used to captivate me, with your resonating life
And now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have… all of me
Four days later, she still hadn't left the house. Hinata had brought her food from the grocery once, so she didn't have to go herself. Still, it wasn't like she was in the mood to eat. How could she think about eating? Now she was sitting on the floor of their… her living room, a large cardboard box in front of her. It was a box that she kept for years, containing a bunch of memorabilia from their relationship. Pictures, scrapbooks, and souvenirs from the trips he'd taken her on. She didn't know why she continued to look at these things when they only made her feel even more horrible than before. She leaned back slightly, covering her eyes as the tears slipped out of them yet again.
"You know, looking at all those pictures of him isn't going to bring him back," a voice said softly from the door, causing her to jump. Turning around, she saw Naruto standing in the doorway.
"I… I know Naruto. I just…"
"You have to stop dwelling Sakura. I know how much it hurts you to think about him being gone, but it'll get better, trust me," he said, walking over and sitting down next to her. He had just gotten home after another grueling mission. Man, it was still so different going on missions without him. It was taking a lot of getting used to.
"How can you tell me to stop dwelling Naruto! He's DEAD! How am I ever going to get over this?" she cried, tears sliding down her cheeks. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him as she began to sob loudly.
"I don't know, but you will. I'm so sorry," he said soothingly, rocking her back and forth.
Sniffling, she spoke again, "I… I guess I just have to accept that he's gone."
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along
Packing up the box, she got out her packaging tape, stretching it across and sealing the box shut. She slid the box over to the basement door, opening it. Walking down the steps, she carried the box down and placed it on a table against the wall. She sighed as she felt another tear slide down her cheek. Naruto was right. She had to stop dwelling. No matter how hard it was, or how much it hurt, she was going to have to move on. She knew that he wouldn't want her to be living this way.
Walking back up the steps into the living room, she shut off the basement light. As she made her way back onto the couch, she noticed she had missed a picture. It was a picture of the two of them after they had gotten back from their first A-rank mission.
She reopened the basement door, going down the steps once more. She placed the picture on top of the box, the box that contained all she had left of him… memories. She sighed loudly, turning away. She climbed back up the steps. Once she reached the top, she turned back and looked at the picture, blowing it a kiss as she turned the light out.
"I love you, Sasuke."
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have… all of me