Chapter 4: Inspections and Akira's Psychoanalysis
Disclaimer: I do not own RK
Enishi Yukishiro let out a yawn as he rolled over to the side of the bed to check his alarm clock.
It was only 5 am. He could still catch a few winks before getting ready. Sinking into the covers, Enishi closed his eyes and tried his very best to get back to dream land. Sadly his mind won't let him. Thoughts about the things he had to do today suddenly occupied his head. He shut his eyes, determined. There was no way in hell that he'd get up earlier that he's supposed to. He worked hard for this period of sleep. He'd only managed to catch 3-4 hours of sleep this week. And besides he'd been having such a nice dream too. It had been about his client. His sleazy geezer of a client decided to just admit that he did sexually harass his secretary and he was given a long sentence in prison. Real prison not that "white-collar" minimum security rehabilitation place where they have HBO in their cells and get meals better than any fast-food joint. But much to his consternation, his conscious was already awake and was berating him to get off his butt and start preparing for the child welfare's annual visit.
Child welfare's adherence to the rules concerning children can probably be compared to how Enishi's habit of early morning coffee.
Consistent and unfailing.
They have proved to be one of the respected and strictest institutions established by the government. They weren't to be messed with. This is why every year, Enishi made sure that every time they would visit, he and Tomoe would be the epitome of a Kodak picture-perfect family.
1. No Doritos bags, Twix wrappers, popcorn kernels, and soda cans lying around in the living room.
2. No making magic potions with ketchup, mustard, aftershave, shampoo, and flowers from the garden.
3. No questions about where babies come from and what happens when a girl and boy kiss.
4. No violent suggestions on how to permanently relieve kid's television of a certain purple dinosaur.
The list goes on.
For the past 2 years, Enishi and Tomoe have been the epitome of a perfect family, at least until after child welfare left. As soon as child welfare rep left, the siblings would celebrate by a junk food fest paired with a LOTR movie marathon.
They'd been getting good marks for the past two years, so why did Enishi felt that something was off?
Akira.
He bolted up from the bed and ran to the guest room. Sure enough, Akira Kiyosato was curled up with a little lump beside him which Enishi could only guess was his sister.
He didn't know how it happened but ever since his parents died, Akira attached himself to the Yukishiro siblings. It was like he had been there forever, like he had always been part of the family. He didn't like to admit it very often since Akira had a tendency to be irritatingly arrogant, but he couldn't have asked for a better godfather for Tomoe. Akira was Tomoe's godfather in the truest sense of the word. The moment he gazed upon Tomoe's shy smile, he was whipped. He loved his godchild to death. Akira always said that he was sorry for the boys who'll fall prey to that smile of hers.
Marching over to Akira's side, he shook him gently. As much as he wanted to yell in his ear, he didn't want to wake up Tomoe.
"Mph. Rupput. Nyow." Akira mumbled.
"Wake up!" Enish hissed, shaking his shoulders more roughly.
"Shhawasee," was all he got in response.
Growling quietly, he looked at the squirming green lump. Out popped a little bed head looking at her brother sleepily, "Morning Ni-chan."
"Morning, sleepy head." The sides of his mouth twitched into an amused grin. he looked over to the slumbering goof, who snuggled up more deeply into the covers. Enishi suddenly had an idea.
"Honey, can you please wake up Uncle Kira?"
"Uncle Kira?" Tomoe ran her tiny hand through Akira's dark hair. "Wake up, Uncle Kira." She continued to rub her hand through his head, as if patting the head of a dog.
"Mpph." Akira cracked an eye open at Tomoe. "Morning, squirt."
The little sleepy head gave her uncle a smile and padded off towards the bathroom. She had to get ready. Some special important person was going to visit them today.
"Akira!" Enishi's voice grew more and more impatient by the minute. "Wake up! You have to get out of here!"
"Right now?" Akira groaned. "Is this about CWD?"
"What do you think?" Enishi replied dryly.
"CWD told you to conduct your affairs as normal as possible. Me sleeping over is normal." Akira grabbed a pillow and covered his head with it.
"Well to us it's normal. You don't know what normal is for the CWD." Enishi grabbed the pillow from the half-asleep individual.
"C'mon, Enishi. You expect me to drive home in this state?" Akira gestured to himself. He was currently sporting a severe case of bed head. His eyes were smaller due to grogginess. He had 6-year-old drool all over his shirt and was dressed in sweat pants and black socks with basketballs on them. He had a point, but Enishi wasn't about to take that risk.
"Yeah."
"Me being seen going home from your house looking like this is NOT normal and besides, I could get in an accident while driving, being in a half asleep state."
"You have to go." Enishi's voice was adamant, as if he was talking to a little kid.
"You wouldn't want my death be pointing at you." Akira sing-songed. "What would Child Welfare say then? They wouldn't want Tomoe living with a MURDERER."
"You seem pretty awake to start annoying me at 7 in the morning, so I don't see the problem."
"Okay, okay." Knowing that he was fighting a losing battle, he stood up slowly, much to Enishi's consternation and muttered something along the lines of jerk and being born with a stick up the butt. "At least let me get my shoes."
Finally they reached the front door. Enishi was already at the brink of throttling the man. Akira took so long in finding his shoes. He kept saying, "They were here last night," at the corner of the guest room. So he had to look at every corner and outside the room. After 5 minutes of vain searching, the two men finally found the pair of shoes. Well, Enishi did. He narrowed his dark green eyes in annoyance. He found them right beside the night table of the bed. Enishi resisted the urge to wack them at Akira. Then Akira decided to make himself pretty. Enishi lost it by then.
"GAH! FINE! WHATEVER! JUST GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF MY HOUSE BY FRIGGIN 8:00 OR ELSE I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!" Enishi roared at the bathroom door. His threat fell on deaf ears as Akira began singing "My Girl" in the shower.
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"Uncle Kira all clean like me!" Tomoe exclaimed as Akira walked over to the kitchen. He ruffled Tomoe's hair in the usual big-brother fashion. Uncle "Kira" took a long deep sniff. Sweet smells of cinnamon and vanilla permeated the air of the quaint kitchen. He looked over to the oven to find Enishi carefully transferring pastries onto a bright blue plate.
"Did you just bake that?" Akira couldn't quite believe at what he was seeing. "And since when did you learn how to bake?"
"It's called learning how to follow instructions."
Akira decided to ignore the sarcastic retort. "Man, aren't you taking this inspection way too seriously? I mean the rep will only be here for a couple of minutes. She's not staying for mid-morning tea."
Akira had a point, so Enishi responded to that in the way he knew best.
"Shut up."
"I'll give you this though. They look quite edible." Akira smiled at having made Tomoe giggle. "Leave me some, okay?"
"They ARE edible, you idiot."
"I'm done, Ni-chan!" Tomoe chimed in as she got up from the breakfast table carrying her empty cereal bowl. "Thanks for buying coco puffs."
"Anytime, sweetie." Enishi took the cereal bowl from her and placed it in the kitchen sink for washing. "Now, go upstairs and change your shirt. Pick a nice one okay?"
"Okay Ni-chan. I'll go upstairs and change my shirt." Up the stairs bounded the little girl.
"Didn't you notice that she's quite specific?" Akira glanced upstairs fondly. "She just doesn't say 'Okay Ni-chan.' She has to repeat what you asked of her."
"Yeah. She's quite smart for her age." Enishi couldn't hide the smug tone from his voice.
"I'll say. She has a smart uncle. It was bound to rub off." Akira replied, matching the smug tone of Enishi. "Well, I'll be off. See you guys later." Akira gave his arms a nice long stretch.
"Yeah, yeah." Enishi answered gruffly.
Akira was about to retort just to annoy him but he knew better. He already annoyed him enough and this whole inspection thing was getting to Enishi already. Akira's brown eyes crinkled as he let out a huge yawn. Grabbing his bag, he opened the front door to reveal a surprised young woman who looked like she was just about to knock. Akira quickly recovered and flashed a genial smile at her.
Enishi suppressed a groan. He knew that smile. Trust Akira to be ready to turn on the charm on anything, anytime, anywhere. The CWD looked like a sensible woman. She possibly couldn't be swayed by Akira's manipulations.
"Good morning." The CWD representative smiled shyly at Akira.
Or maybe not.
"Ah yes. It is a good morning. If only all my mornings started with me opening the front door to a beautiful lady such as yourself." He said, his voice sounding sincere and teasing at the same time. "One can always dream I suppose." He sighed, making it sound like it was a big hassle.
The CWD held back a giggle but couldn't help letting out a smile. "Are you Mr. Enishi Yukishiro?"
"Heck no." Akira grimaced. "He's your guy." He pointed Enishi who was cradling his temple on his palm, looking really stressed out.
The CWD didn't bother hiding her disappointment, much to Enishi's annoyance. "Why don't we continue this lovely interlude inside?" Enishi gritted out, not hiding his sarcasm. The CWD rep seemed not to have noticed for she was too busy being led by Akira into the house. "This is going to be a long day." Enishi muttered.
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To: unclekira
From: iamthelaw
Subject: YOU
You just really had to, huh? You just had to go and give the lady a nice little peck on the cheek. It was bad enough that you, not so subtly I might add, give her your business card. Oh no. YOU JUST HAD TO GO UP AND KISS HER.
God know why I put up with you. Only God knows.
It was a good thing that I passed the inspection or I would've killed you on the spot, witnesses present or not. I don't know how I could've got through that ordeal without divine intervention.
Trust you to know how compromise a situation for the worse. This just reminds me of the time that Himura sent us to review that business contract with Shishio Makoto. The guy almost popped a blood vessel when he walked in on his favorite secretary sitting on your lap. You JUST HAD TO give her a back rub.
So thanks a lot.
Enishi Yukishiro
Senior Associate
Seijuro and Himura Associates
10225 Clay Rd.
Tokyo, Japan 8958
Fax: 1-781-895-968
Telephone: 1-832-4599
To:iamthelaw
From: unclekira
Re. Subject:YOU
She was right. You have serious issues. Where is all this hostility coming from? I saw you yesterday baking cinnamon rolls and now you verbally assaulting me? Through email none the less.
About the kiss: It wasn't like we were necking each other in front of you. It was a friendly peck on the cheek. You're just jealous cause I'm getting some and you're not. When was the last time you got some? Or went on a date? HUH? Enough said.
That secretary incident: how many times will repeat it? SHE CAME ON TO ME. I will admit that I did enjoy her… gentle minstrations, but she initiated it. And besides, how the hell was I suppose to know that she was Makoto's favorite secretary? Who has favorite secretaries? Only pimps have favorite secretaries. Which explains why Makoto is serving a 30-year jail sentence cause he's a pimp.
I honestly don't see why your panties are in a bunch. You passed the inspection, Yukishiro. AS USUAL. Me giving a little sugar to the pretty CWD rep will not affect her report on you. It was me, kissing her. Not you.
And besides, how can you not pass the inspection?
Financial reasons? I don't think so. Your parents left you guys pretty much set, with all their stock shares, retirement plans, and your trust fund. To add to that, you work. You and Tomoe can live comfortably for the rest of your lives. I don't understand why you still work actually. Credibility wise, you're almost perfect. You can be demented when you want to but otherwise you're sane. And you're records are clean. I'm sure if you murdered someone in the past, you had a perfectly good reason. And besides, you're a lawyer. All lawyers have clean records. And Tomoe's perfectly happy with you. You're not her "Ni-chan" for anything.
So what the heck is your problem? Here's your problem. You're not getting any. And you know why you're not getting any? You're too damn picky.
Thanks to you, my fingers are too worn out to write out that report Himura's been nagging me about the whole week.
Akira Kiyosato
Senior Associate
Seijuro and Himura Associates
10225 Clay Rd.
Tokyo, Japan 8958
Fax: 1-781-895-135
Telephone: 1-832-1357
To: unclekira
From: iamthelaw
Subject: "You're too damn picky"
They're called standards. I doubt if you heard of those. Don't worry about that report. I had it done a week ago.
Enishi Yukishiro
Senior Associate
Seijuro and Himura Associates
10225 Clay Rd.
Tokyo, Japan 8958
Fax: 1-781-895-968
Telephone: 1-832-4599
I know it's kind of an abrupt ending but I think Enishi would've just ended the conversation like that. Akira is nothing like the Akira in the OVA because I needed someone to balance out Enishi. And don't you agree that Akira's kinda cute? What do you guys think of the whole email thing? I've been playing with the idea on my mind now for quite sometime.I hope it wasn't confusing. Fanfiction's editor just won't cooperate with the spacing. Sigh.