Who's That Girl?
Summary: Song fic on "Who's That Girl" by Hilary Duff. Based on Matilda and Ric's relationship when Cassie first arrives in the Bay. Is sort of AU mainly about Ric's back story and sort of Anti-Cassie because of being in Matilda's P.O.V.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Home & Away stuff belongs to Channel 7 ect. Hilary Duff's song belongs to Hilary Duff ect. The plot belongs to me.
Notes: I'm not a Ric/Maddy shipper or Anti-Cassie, but I just had to write this! And forgive me, but I'm so sorry if it sounds KK-ish! And this is my first song fic, so it's probably not that good!
Who's That Girl?
There were places were we'd go at midnight
There were secrets that nobody else would know
There's a reason but I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
I thought they all belonged to me...
I remember the first time I snuck out to go see Ric, I remember it so easily because it was at midnight. My family was doing the whole 'he's a bad influence on you' and the 'I forbid you to see him'. I didn't care but, we didn't care. What I did care about was him. It seemed to be all that mattered to me at that moment. It was before everyone had realized her was a good guy.
I remember Henry catching me and threatening to tell mum, I knew he would coz he hated Ric. He was the only person who did. I mean mum didn't want me hanging around him, of course, but she didn't hate him. She just hated the things he did. She was worried it was going to rub off on me. Worried that I was going to become a criminal or something. Regardless how many times I told her that I wasn't going to high jack a plane to Texas or break into a car, she didn't believe me... No wait, these were her exact words...
"It's not you I don't trust Matilda, it's him. He's a bad influence. You never know what he might make you do."
I tried to get them to understand, but they wouldn't. That's why I was sneaking out. I remember calling a Henry a loser and telling him to go back to bed, at first he didn't listen, but I told him that I was going to be fine. That Ric wasn't going to turn me into a hard core criminal. At first he didn't seem convinced, but I think he was too tired to argue, so he walked back to bed.
I remember meeting him on the beach. Walking over to him, smiling... I think he was smiling too. We couldn't really tell because it was dark, only the light of the moon silhouetted onto the ocean could be seen. I wasn't sure why he wanted to see me, but I was hoping that it was going to tell me that he cared about me too, that he wanted to go out with me, that he felt the same way about me, that I did about him. I was never accepting for him to tell me what he did...
Flashback:
"I'm so glad you could come," said Ric.
"Yeah, me too, Henry almost caught me, but I convinced him not to tell mum," I said.
"Maddy, I don't want you getting into trouble, it'll be my fault. I don't want that," he said.
End Flashback.
And my mum was worried that he was the bad influence? The same guy who told me that I shouldn't be sneaking out the house to see him... I wish they had have seen what we had back then, maybe we'd still be together today...
Flashback:
"You wanted to tell me something?" I pushed on, ignoring his warnings, ignoring the freezing cold.
"I shouldn't be but..." he hesitated if though he was searching for the right words.
I looked up at him. "C'mon Ric you can talk to me... You can tell me anything." This was it, he was finally going to tell me how he felt... We'd finally be together.
"The reason why I'm here ... the reason why I come to school bruised everyday..."
End Flashback.
That's when it hit me... He wasn't telling me about how he felt... He was telling me about what happened at home... I never expected that, I didn't know what to say then, and I wouldn't know what to say now.
Flashback:
"Oh," I said. I mentally slapped myself, 'Oh'? Was that the best I came up with? What was wrong with me.
Ric obviously thought I didn't want to hear this coz of what he said next. "I knew I shouldn't have told you this... I don't need you to be dragged into it."
"No!" I said a bit too loudly, surprising the both of us. "Tell me... I need to hear this Ric."
"It's my dad... he hits me. I know I should tell someone, but I'm just scared he's going to hit me more. But I just needed to tell someone... I needed to tell you Maddy... I trust you."
I still wasn't sure what to say, but I knew this was really serious. "Oh Ric!" I said and then I found myself hugging him. I don't know where I got the boots of confidence, but I needed to do this. I was surprised when I felt his arms wrap around me too, hugging me back. "You need to tell someone" I said quietly, taking a step back.
"I know," he said looking down at me, "but I can't – not yet. Maybe, but at the moment I can't."
It was sort of awkward for a while, we just sort of stared at each other... Then all of sudden Ric's lips were on mine, then we were kissing. I had no idea what was happening or what to do, but it felt amazing, all of a sudden Ric pulled back. We both looked at each.
"Maddy... I'm sorry... I don't know what happened I..."
I managed to find my voice... "No, it's OK... Really."
I think he smiled at me, but I wasn't sure...
End Flashback.
After that I thought we were together, I thought that I got everything I wanted, but I still don't know why this happened... I wish I knew the reason why it happened... I thought Ric was mine... I thought everything that happened between us the secret that he told me, the kiss we shared... but I guess I was wrong.
Who's that girl
Where's she from
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
It's not real, it's not right
It's my day, it's my night
By the way
Who's that girl
Who's that girl living my life
Oh no, living my life
I remember the first time I saw her, I didn't like her straight away. If people say you can have 'love at first sight' then what I was feeling was defiantly was 'hate at first sight'. I supposed what put most of the fuel in my anger, was that the first time I saw her, was when they were together...
Flashback:
A couple weeks had passed and everyone had realized that Ric was a good person. Though that didn't matter anymore. Nothing had happened since our kiss that we shared on the beach. I was sort of waiting for him to make the next move, but he didn't. He just acted as though nothing had happened. I guess it was sort of my fault, I mean I was just sitting there waiting for him to make the next move – maybe he thought I was... Maybe he thought that I wasn't interested and our kiss on the beach was just a spur of the moment thing – and nothing else was supposed to happen from it.
It was the end of school, and I had walked down to the beach to see if I could spot Ric, he had told me that he always used to come here before he went back home. That he could just stare out into the ocean, watch the waves wash up against the sand and not have to worry about anything. Before going back home, and wondering what his dad had in store for him. Wondering how many punches he'd receive today.
I had reached the beach and saw two people out on a jet ski. I couldn't make out who they were coz they were pretty far out. Only that it was a guy and girl. I could tell by her hair, which was blowing in the win. They came a bit closer and I thought they must have been a couple, as the guy had his arms wrapped tightly around the girl. They looked really happy together, I wish Ric and I could have that.
It was only when they pulled back onto the beach that I could see that it WAS Ric! I couldn't believe it, who was the girl? Why the hell did she think she could come here and claim the first guy she saw, which just happened to be Ric, but more importantly what the hell was he doing with her? What about me? No, wait this wasn't Ric's faults – it was hers. She probably made up a tonne of lies about herself. I mean why else would he hook up with her? Did he even know where she was from? Did he know who she was? Maybe they knew each other in the city... maybe they were together in the city.
A million of these thoughts were running through my head, all at a million miles an hour. I just needed to calm down... Maybe Ric and this girl weren't even together? Maybe they were just friends? I wasn't sure, but I still didn't like her. The way she looked at Ric, they way she touched his arm, the way she was smiling and flirting with him. Calm down Matilda, I said to myself, you and Ric aren't even together.
They still didn't know I was there, they were obviously too wrapped up in each other too notice. I always thought that was what Ric and I were like, that it was just the two of us and nothing else mattered, well I guess that wasn't true. I used it as an advantage and tried to hear what they were saying, maybe find out who this girl was..
"You mean that wasn't yours?" asked Ric, looking at the jet ski, then back at the girl.
She smiled and shook her head. "But you had fun, you had to admit that!"
"Cassie -"
So that was her name... Cassie... I'd hate that name for the rest of my life.
"- I don't think that was a good idea, what if we got caught?"
"You worry too much," she said walking backwards along the beach. "Lighten up, we didn't – did we?"
"No, but -"
She smiled again, "There you go..."
Matilda watched as the edge closer to where she was trying to hide.
"So are you still coming tonight?" asked Ric.
"Of course!" she said. "See what you're really made of. Midnight, right?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, midnight? Tonight? Who the hell did she think she was? Midnight was mine and Ric's time... the best time ever. She would obviously end up hurting Ric... she didn't care about him. I could tell straight away. God, I hated her! I hated her so much! I was so angry that I stood up and walked down to the open, a few feet in front of them, hoping they would see me.
"Maddy!" called Ric.
This is what I wanted, I walked over to them. "What?"
"Are you OK?" he asked looking at me.
I wanted to shout out no. Shout out that I hated this girl – Cassie – or whatever her name was. That she wasn't right, but instead I just nodded my head. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"OK," said Ric. "If you're sure."
"Positive," I said giving a fake smile.
"Anyway, I want you to meet someone." Said Ric, turning to face Cassie.
I shot a look at her, hopefully it was full of hatred, but I wasn't sure. "Sorry don't have time. Gotta get back home. Homework." I shot one more hateful glare at Cassie, hoping she'd get the message, before walking back up the beach. Quite satisfied to hear Cassie say, "I don't think she likes me." If only she knew...
End Flashback.
I couldn't believe it when I first saw Ric and Cassie together... I still don't like her. I was supposed to be her. Ric and I were supposed to be together, not her! She was living my life. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right. She had stolen my world...
Seems like everything's the same around me
When I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreaming so I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I wanna be
Some days it was so hard, getting up and having to go school. Having to face the both of them – together. They were acting as though they had been best friends for years, they had known each other for about a week, well that's what I knew anyway... They could have been best friends for years... Well, the way they acted around each other they did, but when I first saw them together, after I managed to calm down, it looked as though they had just met.
Nobody else could understand what I was going through. To everyone else it just looked liked everything was the same. Nobody knew what happened between me and Ric, nobody understood what we shared. To everybody else nothing had changed. I still went to school, still got homework, still teased Henry and still didn't have a boyfriend. But no-one would ever really understand...
I had no one to talk to coz things were different. Extremely different. Some days I felt so sad, like I wanted to burst into tears... but nothing broke my heart more than what happened next...
Flashback:
I was down at the beach again... I seemed to come here a lot now. A part it was defiantly trying to see Ric and her together... Though it wasn't as though he had forgotten me entirely... I was the one avoiding him. Every time he came over to me, or to talk to me at school her always had her with him. I then always made some excuse to have to go somewhere. Followed by my trademark glare to Cassie. I hadn't actually been able to verbally tell her that I hated her, but I thought the glares were a better choice. That way it would give her something to think about, she'd have to wonder why I didn't like her. And that, was good.
Anyway, like a ritual, Ric and Cassie were down at the beach, no stolen jet ski with them this time. They were just walking along the beach, smiling at each other, laughing and talking. This was normal, but then something happened that was not normal... something that I wasn't expecting... I couldn't believe it.
Ric and Cassie were kissing.
I felt like my heart had broke in two. I don't know if it was possible to care this much about a person, or to feel this hurt, but it was happening to me. I felt like I wanted to run, and run, and never stop until I left Summer Bay... Never have to see Ric or Cassie again... I could never face either of them again! How could this happen?
How could things be so different? It was not the same, no matter what people said – things were different.
Tears were in my eyes, as I rushed past them. Not caring whether they saw me or not.
"Maddy?"
I turned around, my cheeks tear stained as I looked at Ric. "I liked you…" I said chocking back tears. "I really, really liked you."
I saw Ric look back at Cassie and then back at me. "Maddy I -"
"No, save it," I said. "I thought you felt the same, but obviously you don't... Just forget it." I ran past them, more tears cascading down my face.
End Flashback.
I still got upset when I thought about that, but it wasn't as bad today. At first I thought that it was all a dream, a terrible, horrible dream, but it wasn't. It was real. And I had to realize that, but then I couldn't understand. I couldn't work out why he liked her and not me... What was so good about her? She turns up in the Bay and he automatically falls for her? What about me? I was there for him... I just wished that it had all been a dream, that I would have woken up and find that Cassie never existed, that it was just a long horrible dream, no wait – nightmare.
Unfortunately, it didn't happen.
Cassie and Ric became a couple. Everyone knew it. They were always together. Everywhere one went, the other followed. It was quite sickening to watch really, well for me anyway. She was everywhere I wanted to be... I wanted to be the one who Ric walked to class... I wanted to be the one who he sneaked kisses to in the hallway when no one was there, I wanted to be the one who held his hand and hugged him...
My heart was still broken and I still hated Cassie, I'd never forgive her for what she done... but I thought that maybe I was starting to get over it... Each day I thought about 'what could have been' but it was become less and less... It still hurt though ... but I couldn't go on living like this... I had to face up to it and move on. It would be hard, I knew that, but I had to do this. Not for anyone else, but for me.
I'm the one who made you laugh
Who made you feel
And made you sad
I'm not sorry
For what we did
For who we were
I'm not sorry
I'm not her
Some days, I thought I'd never get it over it. I always kept thinking that I was the one who was always there for Ric. I was the first person to truly accept him. I was the first person to believe when he said he wasn't the bad guy in all of this, which he wasn't. I was the first person he told about his dad, I often wondered if he had told Cassie... He probably would have, he probably told her everything.
Though there were some things that Cassie didn't have... Though I didn't realize this until I had a chat with Ric. At the time I didn't think it would help, but it did. It didn't help with Cassie, but it did help with getting over him.
Flashback.
"Maddy, can we talk?"
"No," I said. "I've got to get straight home. Where's Cassie? Doesn't she normally follow you everywhere?"
"Maddy! Please?"
He was practically begging me. I stopped walking and turned around to face him, I didn't know why I should listen. He obviously wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to hear, which was that he and Cassie had broken up. He realized what a horrible person she was and that, he'd made a mistake and wanted to get back together with me. Though I knew that wasn't going to happen. I sighed. "Fine, but make it quick."
"I care about You Maddy. You were my first real friend. You were there for me -"
"Well that obviously didn't matter when Cassie showed up, did it?" I found myself snapping.
"Matilda, look. Cassie and I are together, yeah, but she'll never replace you. You and I had the best friendship ever and I don't want that to be ruined. Cassie is nice once you get to know her." He said looking at me.
I sighed. "I didn't want to just be your friend Ric..."
"Maddy I know it must be hard seeing me and Cassie together, but you're still my friend. You always will be."
I sighed, "Wow, Ric. That's so reassuring, is that all? I really have to go?"
"Maddy, just listen, OK? It will only take a few minutes."
I decided that I should listen. A part of me didn't care what Ric had to say, why should I listen to him after what he did to me? But then a part of me wanted to. That was my reasonable side. The side that said that Ric hadn't done anything wrong, as much as I cared about him I couldn't tell him who to like and that if he were happy I should be too. "OK…"
"Thanks heaps," said Ric. "Well you know I'm not one with words or anything, but you were there for my Maddy. You and I had something that Cassie and I won't have. You were the first person to make me feel some other than hate… You were the first person to actually make me feel sad and happy all at once. You were there when I needed you Maddy, and that's what matters. You're probably my best friend… In fact you are.
"So, please… please stop being mad at me. I can't take it anymore."
I stared, for a while, taking in what Ric had said. My mouth was open, but I couldn't manage to get any words out. Could Ric actually mean what he said? Did he really consider that I had done all that for him?
Was I really the one who made him feel something other than hate? I knew that when Ric first came to the Bay that he was a bit of a bully, but for some reason after we had become friends he changed.
I finally managed to say something. "I … um… Sorry… I just…" I still couldn't get the words out, but I managed to smile.
"Don't be sorry Maddy, I just wanted you to know, that just because I'm with Cass, doesn't mean I still don't care about you. Or want you as a friend."
I looked up. "I know… I just… I don't know, I guess I let myself get carried away. I was so caught up on hating Cassie I guess I just didn't stop and see what I was doing. I wasn't letting myself get over it."
Ric smiled back at me. "So, are we good?"
I nodded. "We're good?"
"What's going on?" asked Cassie, as she walked up over to us.
"Nothing," I said quickly. I looked at Ric, before looking back at Cassie. "Thanks."
"Matilda?" said Cassie wearily. "I know you don't like me, but can't we just try and be friends? You sound like such a nice person."
"Um… I don't know… Maybe. I have to go." I said looking around. "Bye."
End Flashback.
That really changed my life around. I tried being friends with Cassie, but it just didn't seem to work. I think it was because a part of me deep down, still hated her and what happened between her and Ric. I tried though, to keep Ric happy. I think he sort of new that we weren't ever going to be best friends, but he was happy that I at least wasn't sending her death glares every time we meet.
Sometimes I wished that nothing had happened between Ric and me, that we were just how we used to be, how easier things would have been. But then I realized I wasn't sorry for what we had, or what happened between us. Everything happens for a reason, and I guess Ric and I weren't meant to be.
I'm not sorry I'm not her.
The end.
Author's Note: Finished, finally! It took me 5 days to write this! And it's not even good! Well it did break me out of my writer's block, so I hope you like it… I don't though! Anyway review please!
Lozzyxx