Disclaimer: I do not own any wolf's rain characters. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALL!
Chapter 5
Soui followed Tsume and wandered back through the forest. She continued to stare at the back of his head, her hands in pockets, and a guiltier feeling inside of her. Tsume stopped walking and Soui accidentally walked right into him. She looked up quickly
"Tsume?"
"Kiba has been in a trance since you left, you have a strange effect on him. I would sort things out with him before it gets overly complicated." Tsume hadn't even turned his head to look at her, but kept his eyes forward.
"Tsume I...." Soui looked at the ground with tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry," without thinking she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his jacket "I'm sorry Tsume"
Tsume grew tense, but his eyes softened, thinking about how much this all really hurt her. Even he, who was stern and usually very hostile, understood, vaguely, what she felt. He rested his hands on hers, and pulled her away. Soui looked up, but he had turned around and looked down at her.
"It's okay...we're all freaks when it comes to this pack"
"Tsume...." She only latched herself onto him again. She felt so pathetic and weak, she used to be the alpha, now she was this pathetic girl. But it didn't matter right now, she just wanted to be in his arms.
Tsume's hands wrapped around her and he rested his head atop of hers "Don't worry me like that again alright?" Soui just laughed and hugged him tighter. Tsume smiled and closed his eyes resting against her. They shared a true moment of tranquility, but it didn't last long after it was disturbed by the lone howl of Kiba.
"He's still waiting for me..." Soui said looking away
"Lets go back then...." Tsume said quietly lifting his head looking down at her.
"Can't time just stand still for a little while longer?" Soui begged looking up at him. Tsume smiled again and Soui stood on the tips of her toes as they shared a real kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he cuffed her face in his hand. It was one long and still kiss. Soui broke away hearing another sad howl from Tsume "I guess time stops for no one..." she took his hand and started to walk back towards the den.
When they only had a few hundred feet left, Soui released his hand taking one last gentle look at him. She shifted forms, and very slowly trotted towards the fire. Tsume held back, and waited a while under the attention was on Soui. Toboe, Blue, and Hige all came up to her quickly checking to make sure she was okay, since she had been the one to send them away. Kiba appeared from the direction of the lake and that was when Tsume made his way down the hill
"Are you sure you're okay Soui?" Toboe asked tugging on Soui's shirt
"I'm sure Toboe, I'm fine really" Soui rubbed his head "Thanks for worrying about me"
"You know, it wasn't really that smart to send us away. We're wolves too, we could've easily taken that guy out for you" Hige said boastfully
"Hige...she did it to protect us" Blue said quietly latching her arm with his
"I know that Blue, I know" Hige chuckled quietly
"Just don't run off as far next time" Kiba said sitting down next to the fire
"Is that all you're going to say to her?" Toboe said worried "She nearly got shot again! And all you can do is yell at her for running off?"
"It was her decision to leave from the beginning" Kiba said again unemotionally
Soui looked at him with hurt eyes and then looked away and wandered towards the cave "You act like you own me, like I'm permanently tied to your leash, you should open your eyes and see what's actually taking place around you Kiba!" Soui said sharply as she disappeared into the cave.
"What the hell was that Kiba?" Hige asked rather ticked off "You were the one who sent her away to begin with, I dunno what the hell it was you said but you started all of this?"
"It was her decision to come, to go, and then to return again. How is that my fault?" Kiba asked again blandly
"Your words have meaning Kiba!" Blue shot at him "You did something, you resurfaced the old wounds didn't you, you asked about her family?"
Kiba said nothing and looked out at the sky
"You hurt her honor and pride" Tsume growled "You don't give her any credit for being an alpha or anything. Your head is still in the clouds thinking about Cheza"
"We've wasted enough time here waiting for her to get better and Darcia has probably sailed miles away" Kiba said again looking at the sky
"Aw damn it Kiba you don't care at all do you!" Hige growled again "I want to find Cheza as much as the rest of us, but at least I have a grasp on what goes on right before you! You're hurting her!"
"I didn't even touch her" Kiba said
"Not that way you idiot! We all have our pasts, mine, Blue's, Toboe, even Tsume, but you don't hint on it at all. But with her, you constantly pry into it without even realizing. She wants to be with us, and at the same time it kills her because she knows she's endangering us. Can't you see the toll its taking on her?"
"She only brought it upon herself, we don't care, so why must she?" Kiba said again
"Alright that's enough you bastard!" Tsume picked Kiba up and punched him hard across the face
"Oh Tsume" Kiba looked at him, his cheek red from the impact
"You bastard, she cares because she's lost everything. She doesn't want anyone to feel the pain that she felt, or the pain her family felt! She's protecting us, and sacrificing her own feelings for this pack and she barely knows us!"
"But....I...."
"If you had a choice to save us all or be with Cheza which would you choose?" Tsume grabbed him by the collar and shook him
"......"
"Exactly! You can't say it right away, because you know you'd pick Cheza over us! You would, you'd leave us all to die if it meant you could complete your destiny and be with her! Well look at Soui, she'd give up everything she had so WE could be happy! That's what separates her, the true alpha from a punk like you!" Tsume throw Kiba onto the ground and glared at him "She's willing to die for us, the strangers, and you're not even willing to keep people who care nearby. You're a disgrace" Tsume turned and stormed off to the cave.
Soui was inside the cave curled in a ball, her head buried against her knees crying. Tsume frowned again and his eyes grew sad. He walked over to her, and knelt beside her "Soui?" Soui didn't look up, she remained crying, but the flow wasn't as horrible
"Soui?" Tsume sat down beside her and shook her gently. "Come on..." he told her gently taking her hand. Her hand felt so cold, piercing cold, but he squeezed it "Soui...."
"Don't defend me..." she whimpered quietly "I don't need the protection when I'm the killer."
"You aren't, its just, Darcia" He said bringing her closer
"Why can you forgive me when I can't forgive myself?" Soui asked still covering her face with her long blond bangs
"I'm not sure, but the pain you're in now, it reflects how you feel about the whole thing, and how sorry you really are. That's enough pain to deal with, you don't have to continue being hard on yourself. They're gone, and no matter how much you hate yourself for it, they won't come back, and it won't make them any happier..."
Soui gave up and finally rested herself against him, and pulled her onto his lap and she rested her head on his chest "Tsume...." She could hear his heartbeat "Your heartbeat sounds footsteps...."
"Maybe I'm always running from my own past" Tsume told her quietly and her hand rubbed the scar on his chest. Her touch sent excited shivers through him. She held him close and he wrapped his arms around her. "You'll get through this...he'll get over it."
"I hate secrets....I hate this Tsume so much. I want to tell him so badly, my brother...." Soui cried quietly against him
"You will when the time is right, " Tsume told her again.
"Don't defend me" Soui said again "He doesn't understand it now, love makes you do crazy things Tsume, sometimes even selfish things. Don't be mad at Kiba please..." Soui rested against him
"I'll try, but that punk just ticks me off sometimes," Soui just laughed lightly and enjoyed the feeling of his warm arms
"Ya think we should go in there and make sure Tsume hasn't eaten her or something?" Toboe asked Blue nervously
"It's okay Toboe, but I'll go get them anyway" Blue walked over through the snow, her hands in her pockets. The cave was deep, but she only took a few steps into the entrance as she called to them. "Tsume, Soui, we're going hunting, we're going to need your help Tsume. Soui, you're going to stay here with me, Hige said your wounds don't need more strain after you just got back"
Blue waited, and her the sound of the two of them walking through the cave. Her wolf eyes spotted them rather quickly, and Soui's eyes looked red and puffy. Tsume looked at Blue for a moment, but then turned forward and said nothing as he exited the cave
"Let's go Tsume" Hige told him "Should we bring the daydreamer"
"Forget Kiba, Toboe can help us,"
"Really? I can really?" Toboe sounded excited
"Sure, just keep up runt" Tsume said in his usual voice
After that, the three of them scampered off, and Soui listened to the soothing sound of their padded running. Blue slumped down against the cave's wall and sighed
"I thought I'd never be able to separate them"
"Why would you want to do that?" Soui asked confused
"Eh, I figured with Kiba acting so weird, the others would get fed up, especially Tsume, sending them off to get food is just a good excuse"
"Bring back food and the ladies have to do nothing"
Blue chuckled "Yeah that sounds about right'
"Thank you Blue"
"No problem, so, what can I ask, what really happened to your family? It seems like we all have stories with our pasts"
"Darcia killed them all. He just kept chanting out cursed wolf...cursed wolf....and then he just, killed them all. I was the alpha of a pack of twelve, I had a husband, brother named Kaze, other family....It was springtime, we had just decided to have pups..." she chuckled "I wouldn't have been the great of a mother anyway"
"Yeah...I just had Pops my whole life, and even he turned on my eventually. But, I have Hige now, and the others"
"That's sometimes all we need to survive." Soui said quietly
"But you're different...." Blue looked up a the ceiling that dripped with water. The water droplets crashed to the ground and left an eery but soothing echoing sound throughout the cavern.
"I know...but in your mind...how am I different?"
"You never gave up, you decided to keep going. Even I was a wreck until Hige found me. But all this time, you still lived here, protecting your family even though they were already gone"
"Is that really that admirable?" Soui asked quietly "All that time, I've lived in the past, focused only on their deaths and how it was my fault trust me, its not something I'm proud of"
"Hmm..the way you put it, it does sound rather sad," Blue laughed 'Still, alpha of your pack, that's still something to be proud of. And don't go putting yourself down by saying I didn't protect my pack what kind of an alpha am I? Things happen to everyone, and everyone eventually is going to die"
"I guess that's true...." Soui looked up at the ceiling too "So, has Kiba always been that, distant from this world?"
"Yeah, he always seems to have his mind somewhere else, lost among those stars. He's thinking about Cheza most of the time. The bond those two have, its just their destiny I guess, it must drive him crazy to be away"
"That would explain that distant look on his face all the time. He worries I guess, but I think he loses sight of the things around him."
"It isn't true, what Tsume said, I do believe, that Kiba would protect us if needed, but Tsume is right when he said, he would want to be with Cheza above all"
"I think its understandable, wouldn't you want to be with Hige above everyone else?" Soui looked to Blue waiting for an answer
"I guess you're right, but I still wouldn't let my friends die without putting my hardest efforts into it"
"Death isn't something I take so lightly anymore. I used to be just very naive about it, but when you watch someone die at your feet, and them take their final breaths, you tend to appreciate that you're still living"
"Are you going to stay with us Soui? It would be nice to have another lady around." Blue looked at Soui with her piercing blue eyes waiting.
"Do you really think I should.? I'll be honest, bad things happen around me, there's no point denying it. In the what four days I've been here you've all been attacked by two hunters, a mad man, and I've fallen into a lake"
"Bad luck follows everyone around, yours...is just a little more noticeable. I think, you should do what your heart tells you, at least that thing can lead you wrong. It led me to Hige, even during all the rough times" Blue smiled "Don't worry so much, what else do you have to lose?"
"Nothing, its not like there's anything here tying me down"
"I got your back while you're here, us girls, we gotta stick together" Blue said with a wink. "Now if you'll excuse me, I do believe Kiba wants to talk to you"
"How do you know that?" Soui asked
"Because I'm right here" Kiba said ducking his head as he walked in. Blue walked by with a grin and kept going, trying to catch up with the boys.