I know I SHOULD be writing more of 'The Search for Robin's Mask', but I have a better idea. I think. No, really, I do! Cough This one involves pure, unsuppressed insanity from yours truly! So sit back, but not too far back as to fall off your chair, and enjoy my nonsensical ramblings.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. If I did, I would pay people to write this story for me. But NO, I have to write this story. That's Canada for you.Shakes fist
Warning: I will not be held responsible for any fear or confusion caused by this story. Read at your own risk!
Beast Boy's Morning
It was a glorious morning. The sun rose above the horizon, casting it's glowing pink and orange light across Jump City. A rooster cock-a-doodle-dooed from somewhere in the depths of the city. Why someone would have a rooster in the city is a mystery to me, but hey, who am I to judge the strange behaviour of fictional citizens of a fictional city? Moments later, a green rooster answered the call of the mysterious city rooster from the roof of a large T-shaped tower. That cocka-doodle-doo was then followed by a call of anger.
"BEAST BOY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CAWING LIKE A ROOSTER AT FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"
The green rooster choked back its' call. Woops.
"Dude, I am so dead when I go back in there." said Beast Boy, morphing back into his humanoid form.
"Yes, you are." said a mysterious voice from behind the little green shape shifter. Beast Boy's ears drooped in fear.
"Wh-who said that?"
"Me."
"Yeah, but who are you?"
"I am what I am. Were I someone else, I would not be myself, whom I am. Therefore I am me, myself and I, that which myself is and that which is I."
Beast Boy's face was blank.
"Say what?"
"I'm me."
"Okay…can I at least have a name?"
The mysterious voice chuckled.
"Why don't you turn around and see."
"Right."
Beast Boy turned around cautiously, only to come face to face with…no one. The shape shifter looked around wildly.
"Look down." said the mysterious voice. Beast Boy looked down and met the gaze of a little blue man. He wore a red coat and a little yellow top hat. "Hello, Beast Boy."
Beast Boy squeaked in fear and turned into a mouse. He scuttled behind a pipe (Or whatever there was to hide behind. I mean, honestly, I can't think of everything! Why don't you come up with something for once?). He peeked around the object behind which he hid and morphed back into his humanoid form.
"Dude, who are you? What are you?" he asked in astonishment.
"I am Philbern the Mufflewufflemumph." said the little man, tipping his yellow top hat politely. Beast Boy's blank expression returned, and he scratched his head.
"Is there even such thing?" he asked, his little mind going into overdrive.
"There is now."
"But it makes no sense. There's no such thing a Mifflemuffle- whatever!"
"Perhaps, but try saying it ten times fast."
Beast Boy cocked an eyebrow, starting to feel a bit scared of the little man. I mean, how often does a little blue man appear on your roof? Not very often, right? Wrong.
"Look, uh, Philbern…dude. You're kind of weirding me out, so I think I'll go back inside." said Beast Boy, slowly backing away from the little blue man.
"But don't you want to meet my friends?" asked Philbern, his little blue face drooping. Beast Boy stopped, a pained expression on his face. However, seeing his sad face, Beast Boy felt sorry for the little man.
"Uh, sure, okay."
"Marvellous!" said the little man, hopping up and down and doing a little pirouette. Beast Boy cocked an eyebrow but decided to say nothing. This was turning out to be stranger then when he had met New-Fu (Did I spell that correctly? Checks online Yes, I did.). Philbern put his thumb and forefinger in his mouth and whistled loudly.
"BEAST BOY, STOP THAT DAMN WHISTLING!" Cyborg shouted from inside the tower.
"IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS A LITTLE BLUE MAN!" Beast Boy called back.
"YOU'RE STUPIDER THEN I THOUGHT!"
Beast Boy sulked, but not for long, because he was soon distracted by the site of four more little blue men.
"Beast Boy, meet Shmilly, Fundruck, Wubblefubble and Flump." said Philbern, motioning to each of the little blue men. They each tipped their different coloured in turn.
"Those are some funky names you've got there." said Beast Boy, resisting the urge to run away. The blue men all nodded, huge (and I mean HUGE) grins on their faces. Beast Boy gulped.
"Pleased ter meets ya, sunny!" said Flump, holding his tiny hand out for Beast Boy to shake. Beast Boy gingerly shook the Mufflewufflemumph's hand.
"Uh, hi."
"What I beooootiful tower ya got there!" said Fundruck, whistling to emphasize his amazement. Beast Boy nodded slowly. He was trying very hard not to be disturbed by the strange dance Shmilly was dancing at that very moment.
"Yes, it will be the perfect place to stay." said Philbern, clasping his hands together happily. Beast Boy's head snapped back down in Philbern's direction.
"What!" he asked, his fear mounting.
"We will be staying at the tower for a while." said Philbern, adjusting his little red sleeves properly. Beast Boy just stared at him, mouth agape. After a moment, he shook his head and spoke.
"You can't! Robin will kill me!"
"Sure he will, sunny." Flump chuckled, winking at Beast Boy.
"No, seriously, you can't."
Philbern's face fell again, and his shoulders drooped.
"Well, men, it looks like we'll have to go look for another place to stay." He said sadly. The other little blue men's shoulders all drooped, and Wubblefubble started sobbing. Fundruck patted his shoulder, sniffling. Beast Boy glanced around, unsure of how to deal with his present situation. Finally, he sighed in frustration.
"Fine, you guys can stay. But you have to keep quiet. Robin can't find out."
The Mufflewufflemumphs all nodded, and Shmilly started to dance again. His mind racing, Beast Boy led the little blue men into the tower. Could things possibly get any weirder?
Of course they could.