Angel's Lullaby

Of Morning Sickness and Mourning Family Lost

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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John couldn't help but notice a change in Randy's general demeanor. He was quieter, more withdrawn. Something was definitely wrong and John couldn't help but believe it had something to do with the scene a few nights before.

"Babe, you okay?" he asked, nudging Randy. Randy pulled the light pink duvet around him, and rolled over. He refused to speak.

John was kicking himself. Why hadn't he foreseen the memories having a child would bring? Family was such a taboo subject, especially with Randy. As excited he had been about the prospect of parenthood, John was now worried what parenthood would do to Randy's mental health.

"If you two are doing anything of a sexual nature, I don't care and I'm coming in!" Trish exclaimed, barging into the apartment, using their 'emergency' key. John swung his legs over to the side of the bed. Standing, he left Randy to sleep.

"Trisha, nice to see you so..." His eyes caught sight of the red glowing numerals of the digital clock. "Early," She rolled her eyes.

"Chris went out to do a major grocery shopping. There's no food, and I've been up since five, puking." she moaned. Glancing at him with her emotional brown eyes, she laughed. "Figured the least I could do was um, how do you sat, raid the refridgerator,"

John motioned for her to help herself in the kitchen. Nodding, she made her way into the cramped area. John made his way over to the balcony. He was worried about Randy. He couldn't concentrate on anything else.

Sighing, he sat on the white wicker couch. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on helping Randy.

As much as he loved and understood Randy, he couldn't see why the younger man was afraid of repeating the sins of his father. John knew instinctively that Randy would never abandon their child and would also make an excellant father.

Call it Paternal Instinct.

John wasn't even sure why Randy had been thinking about the family that had disowned him years before. Before they had started trying for a baby, months would go between each mention of his father. Something had triggered the thoughts.

Trish slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the balcony. She held a steaming mug and a plate of toast with fruit. Glancing down, she seemed to sense John's concern. "What's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand," John muttered, staring fiercely into the horizon. Setting her plate and mug on a matching wicker table, she set her hand on his shoulder.

"Try me. I'm only six weeks pregnant and I'm like Dr. Phil. I even helped Adam convince Amy not to name their baby boy 'Dunlap', and she's had her heart set on that name since day one," Trish chuckled. Turning to the pregnant blonde, he sighed loudly.

"It's Randy. He's been acting very oddly ever since I caught him on the balcony," John said. Surprisingly, he began to pour his heart out to the woman.

"Did you ever think that maybe with a baby on the way he wishes he could involve his family? From what you were telling me, it seems like he's very worried about abandoning the baby. He's worried he's not going to be a good dad," Trish murmured. Clasping her hand over her mouth, she ran towards the bathroom.

John followed her into the house. Randy was up. Following Trish into the bathroom, he vowed to talk to his husband, as soon as Trish was done vomiting.

Squatting beside her, he held her hair back as the pregnant woman purged her stomach of all its contents. He rubbed her back, and just tried to ease her discomfort. There wasn't much else he could do.

His heart went out to Trish. She was surviving morning sickness, not an easy task.

She finished vomiting and settled on the couch with a bottle of ginger ale and a pack of saltine crackers. Assured that she was comfortable, he took Randy by the arm and led him into the bedroom.

"Shut the door," John murmured, putting his arms around Randy. Randy could sense the concern in the older man's voice.

"Yes?" Randy asked, gazing into John's deep blue eyes. Taking a deep breath, John sighed.

"I'm worried about you," he admitted. Randy sighed. He had seen this coming.

"I was feeling sorry for myself when I said that. I just wish my family could be here for us during Trish's pregnancy," Randy murmured, shaking his head. "Too much?"

"No. Family is important. Someday your family will come to their senses," John murmured, kissing Randy's hairline. He shook his head.

"Not until I'm dead," he hissed. John cupped the younger man's face.

"Don't talk like that," he said, kissing Randy on the lips.

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Chapter 5 is up! I love the support I'm getting. Thank you again for all your reviews!

JenLea

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