Chapter 4
"Zoe?" Kouji asked. "Hello? Earth to Zoe!"
"Wh -what?" Zoe was startled, and then she broke the eye contact with Kouichi and fixed her gaze back to Kouji. "I'm sorry Kouji, what did you just said?"
Kouji shook her head. "I didn't say anything. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." Zoe knew that Kouji wouldn't believe her so she has to come up with some good excuse, and fast. "You know, I-I was just surprised, that's all."
Kouji laughed. "I knew you are going to be surprised!"
Zoe gave out a fake laugh. She then caught a beautiful shoulder- length blond hair girl was standing beside him. She smiled at her. "So, you are Sandra, right?" She took out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Sandra shook her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you too!"
Zoe stared back at Kouichi and caught him was staring at her too. Her heart gave out flip, but Zoe didn't felt anything. It was totally weird. "So, this is you girlfriend?" She really much wanted to ask, "You cheated on me!" On second thought, she couldn't let Kouji and Sandra know about this. Somehow, she felt that Kouichi was about to say the same thing. She would just hope that Kouichi wouldn't blurt it out.
"The girl of my dreams," Kouji said, putting his hand on Zoe's shoulder.
There was no expression on Kouichi's face, Zoe wondered if he would recognize her. "So you're the girl Kouji's been telling me about. Glad to meet you."
"I'm glad to meet to you too," she said. Her voice sounded breathy. She hoped none of them noticed.
"I didn't lie, did I?" Kouji joked. "She's something else, huh?"
She felt her face redden. "Stop it, Kouji."
"She's something else all right." Kouichi echoed.
"Uh, listen," Kouji clapped his hands. "Let's get the dinner started, shall we?"
"Sure." Kouichi said, he held on to Sandra's hand and followed him to the dining room.
'Please don't spill it out.' Zoe thought. 'Just not now, I don't want to see Kouji hurt.'
Kouji took Zoe's hand and led them into the dining room. Zoe saw that the table was set with the good linen tablecloth and glowing candles. She took a seat beside Kouji.
Few minutes later, the dinner was served. Eventhough the dinner looks delicious, she had lost her appetite ever since Kouichi and Sandra came. She heard that Kouji was talking to Kouichi and Sandra, but she had no intent to listen to what they were saying.
Zoe stifled a yawn and glanced up form the food she was pushing around on her plate to see if anyone had noticed.
"Zoe, are you okay?" Kouji asked worriedly. Too bad, Kouji's already noticed her behaviors.
She looked up and saw Kouji was staring at her with a concern face. Then, she stole a quick glimpse at Kouichi and he caught her was looking at him, so she quickly look back to Kouji, forcing a smile. "Oh, I just don't feel well. That's all."
Kouji quickly got up form his seat and lifted Zoe up from her seat and let her sit on the couch. "Hang on, just sit here for a few more minutes, then I'll drive you home."
Part of her wanted to reassure him, to tell him that she feels fine. But no words could move past the lump in her throat. It hurt inexpressibly to see that Kouichi wasn't even a bit worried about her and Kouji kept on pacing back and forth with a concern on his face. Maybe Kouichi hadn't appeared to remember her. Their time together had been forgotten, probably lost among all the other girls who had come along over the years. She had worried about nothing. "It's just as well," she said to herself. "It doesn't matter. It's better this way." But then again, does that matter to her? She cleared her thoughts and wished she could get out of here immediately.
After Kouji dropped her of at home, Zoe went straight to the piano. Her parents weren't home. Alone, she sat for an hour playing music that usually had the power to soothe her. She finally gave up, went to her room, and rummaged through her closet for the box that held the treasured memorabilia she'd been collecting ever since the first grade. She found the ribbon from her first piano competition, when she was six, and ticket stubs from when she'd gone to New York with her parents to hear Richard Goode, one of the world's greatest classical pianists, play at Carnegie Hall.
She dug out the manila envelope filled with keepsakes from that magic summer and examined each item tenderly-the torn ticket stubs from her movie dates with Kouji, a candy wrapper he'd discarded and she'd retrieved, photos of the two of them building a sand castle on the beach and playing in the pool. Her favorite was the one of them with their arms around each other that a passerby had snapped for them. Kouichi's short dark hair glinted in the sunlight, and Zoe's expression was one of pure joy.
She thought back to the day they met. She had discovered a piano in one of the banquet rooms, so during her free time, she practiced. On that particular rainy afternoon, she looked up and saw Kouichi standing at the doorway, listening. She'd recognized him immediately.
"Don't stop," he said. "It's beautiful."
She felt tongue-tied.
He came over and leaned his elbows on the top of the piano. "I'll bet you've played all your life."
"Since I was four. I've always loved it." Just being in Kouichi's presence caused her hands to tremble on the keys.
"You've got a got. Do you mind if I listen?"
"I'm finished for today." She explained about her sitter job and how she was expected back in her room before dinner.
"Will you play again tomorrow?"
"Sure, besides I have to practice everyday to be the best."
His grin looked like warm honey. "Bet you'll make it . . . I don't know your name."
"Zoe Mill," she said, using her first and middle names only.
"I'm Kouichi. Until tomorrow, then."
She smiled and left the room quickly, her heart banging against her chest.
True to his promise, he came the next day, and the day after that, until they were seeing each other every day and then every free minute. By the end of her vacation job, Zoe had fallen madly, hopelessly in love with Kouichi Kimura, Kouji's only brother.
Zoe never told anyone, not even her best friend, Joyce Moore, about her summer with Kouichi. Joyce would have spread it all over school at the beginning of sophomore year, and Zoe would have been the topic of gossip. Plus, a lot of people would never believer her in the first place, and she didn't want to be in the position of having to defend her story. Nor was it likely that she and Kouichi would ever cross paths again. It had simply been easier to keep it to her it to herself, to store the memories inside her special box, and inside her heart.
The phone rang and she answered it.
"I miss you," Kouji said.
She laughed. "You just dropped me off."
"Not true. That was hours ago. What are you doing?"
Feeling guilty, she tucked the photo of herself and Kouichi back into the envelope. "I just finished piano practice. How about you and Kouichi?"
"I'm fine and Kouichi wanted to take a walk so he left after he drove Sandra back to her house." Kouji replied. "I'm all alone now." He pretended to sniff.
Zoe giggled. "Yeah right."
"Listen," Kouji said, suddenly growing serious. "I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Zoe said sweetly. "Besides, it's really sweet of you to call me and I mean it."
"Well, because I'm your boyfriend and I do care about you."
Now she was guiltier.
"Anyway," Kouji said. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Okay, bye."
But once she'd hung up, guilt grabbed her again. She'd been anything but honest with him. If she were honest, she'd have told him about her and Kouichi. Sooner or later, she might have to, because once they met again face to face, Kouichi might blurt out their shared history. Then again, he might not even remember it. Frankly, Zoe couldn't decide which would hut worse.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"Coming!" Zoe called out, thinking that her parents are home. When she opened the door, her jaws dropped wide open.
Kouichi was lounging against the wall in the hallway. Their gazes met. She froze. He straightened and stepped toward her. "I think we should talk, don't you, Zoe Mill?"
"Maybe so," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Did you know that when I got home that summer, I called all the people with the last name of Mill in the local phone book? There are four, just in case you're wondering, but none of them had ever heard of a Zoe."
She felt hot and cold all over. "I-it's my middle name."
"No lie?"
His words stung. "No lie."
"All I knew was that you were from this area, so I wondered why you made it hard for me to find you again. I went over things in my mind a hundred times, trying to figure out what I'd said or done that cause you to lie to me."
"I never lied to you."
Kouichi shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. "But you didn't tell me the whole truth either. How was I suppose to locate you when I never even knew your last name?"
"I never thought I'd ever see you again." She felt hot wetness behind her eyes. 'Don't Cry,' she told herself silently.
"Were you dating Kouji at the same time and just wanted to mess around behind is back? Were you afraid I might drop your name to him and spoil your cheating game?"
"No! I didn't even know Kouji then. I would never cheat on him."
"But you'll cheat one me." Kouichi crossed his arms. His dark blue eyes looked cold. "You are dating my brother. Didn't you think we'd eventually run into each other somewhere along the way?"
"I - I wasn't sure you'd even remember me."
"You're not so forgettable, Zoe."
Tears welled in her eyes. "I - I didn't believe you could care about me. You could have any girl -"
"I didn't want just any girl." He paused, and then he took her hands. "I just want you."
She had dreamed of him to say such things to her. "But what about Kouji and Sandra?"
"We'll just have to keep it a secret." Then he looked at her. "Don't you want us to be together?"
"Yes, but -"
"Say no more." Kouichi interrupted her. Then he leaned closer to her and pressed his lips against hers.
When they pulled back, Kouichi just ran away.
'I want to be with you, Kouichi. But also love Kouji. I'm feeling very guilty right now. I don't know what to do.'
2 hours later when her parents have returned, she played the piano. Non-stop.
"Don't wear out the keys," her mother said, passing through the living room.
Zoe turned on the piano bench. "Most mothers are begging their kids to practice. I didn't mean to annoy you."
"Whoa. I never said you were annoying me. I was just wondering why you were driving yourself today. Did you and Kouji have a fight?"
"Kouji and I are fine."
"Okay, just keep playing. Pretend I never interrupted."
Zoe shook her head. "I'm finished." She head up the stairs to her bedroom. She felt anxious and tense. Since her conversation with Kouichi, her mind had been in turmoil, her insides in a knot. She still adored him; the old feelings hadn't changed. Except now she was Kouji's girl.
Dear Diary,
Tonight was really horrible. I met Kouichi, Kouji's brother. He didn't even give up on me at all! I was shocked. Both brothers whom I love. Today, Kouichi asked me to go back with him, without telling Sandra and Kouji. I mean, we're SNEAKING behind their backs. I don't want to hurt neither of the, but I finally made my decision, I want to go back with Kouichi. Sorry Sandra and Kouji, Kouichi meant a lot to me. I can't give up on him. I'm really sorry Kouji. I felt very guilty of all the things I've said to you. We'll tell Kouji and Sandra later.
Kouichi's POV
I don't know why I wanted to go back with her; I know my feelings for her didn't changed at all. But I still care about Sandra. Ever since the day I gave up finding you, I was depressed and I didn't even eat for 3 days. It was Sandra who cheered me up, stand by my side, and help me searched for her. She hasn't slept for 2 days just to search for Zoe. I know deep inside that I cared Sandra more than Zoe. But Zoe is my first love. I can't give up on her. But Sandra is really helpful, she showed me that Zoe is only your summer love and she told me to move on. I really did listen to her, but now that I returned, I'm feeling very guilty. I'm feeling very sorry to Sandra and Kouji. I don't want to sneak behind Kouji and Sandra's back. But I've finally made my decision, I want to go back with Zoe, eventhough I have betrayed my only brother.
"Zoe?" Kouji asked. "Hello? Earth to Zoe!"
"Wh -what?" Zoe was startled, and then she broke the eye contact with Kouichi and fixed her gaze back to Kouji. "I'm sorry Kouji, what did you just said?"
Kouji shook her head. "I didn't say anything. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." Zoe knew that Kouji wouldn't believe her so she has to come up with some good excuse, and fast. "You know, I-I was just surprised, that's all."
Kouji laughed. "I knew you are going to be surprised!"
Zoe gave out a fake laugh. She then caught a beautiful shoulder- length blond hair girl was standing beside him. She smiled at her. "So, you are Sandra, right?" She took out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Sandra shook her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you too!"
Zoe stared back at Kouichi and caught him was staring at her too. Her heart gave out flip, but Zoe didn't felt anything. It was totally weird. "So, this is you girlfriend?" She really much wanted to ask, "You cheated on me!" On second thought, she couldn't let Kouji and Sandra know about this. Somehow, she felt that Kouichi was about to say the same thing. She would just hope that Kouichi wouldn't blurt it out.
"The girl of my dreams," Kouji said, putting his hand on Zoe's shoulder.
There was no expression on Kouichi's face, Zoe wondered if he would recognize her. "So you're the girl Kouji's been telling me about. Glad to meet you."
"I'm glad to meet to you too," she said. Her voice sounded breathy. She hoped none of them noticed.
"I didn't lie, did I?" Kouji joked. "She's something else, huh?"
She felt her face redden. "Stop it, Kouji."
"She's something else all right." Kouichi echoed.
"Uh, listen," Kouji clapped his hands. "Let's get the dinner started, shall we?"
"Sure." Kouichi said, he held on to Sandra's hand and followed him to the dining room.
'Please don't spill it out.' Zoe thought. 'Just not now, I don't want to see Kouji hurt.'
Kouji took Zoe's hand and led them into the dining room. Zoe saw that the table was set with the good linen tablecloth and glowing candles. She took a seat beside Kouji.
Few minutes later, the dinner was served. Eventhough the dinner looks delicious, she had lost her appetite ever since Kouichi and Sandra came. She heard that Kouji was talking to Kouichi and Sandra, but she had no intent to listen to what they were saying.
Zoe stifled a yawn and glanced up form the food she was pushing around on her plate to see if anyone had noticed.
"Zoe, are you okay?" Kouji asked worriedly. Too bad, Kouji's already noticed her behaviors.
She looked up and saw Kouji was staring at her with a concern face. Then, she stole a quick glimpse at Kouichi and he caught her was looking at him, so she quickly look back to Kouji, forcing a smile. "Oh, I just don't feel well. That's all."
Kouji quickly got up form his seat and lifted Zoe up from her seat and let her sit on the couch. "Hang on, just sit here for a few more minutes, then I'll drive you home."
Part of her wanted to reassure him, to tell him that she feels fine. But no words could move past the lump in her throat. It hurt inexpressibly to see that Kouichi wasn't even a bit worried about her and Kouji kept on pacing back and forth with a concern on his face. Maybe Kouichi hadn't appeared to remember her. Their time together had been forgotten, probably lost among all the other girls who had come along over the years. She had worried about nothing. "It's just as well," she said to herself. "It doesn't matter. It's better this way." But then again, does that matter to her? She cleared her thoughts and wished she could get out of here immediately.
After Kouji dropped her of at home, Zoe went straight to the piano. Her parents weren't home. Alone, she sat for an hour playing music that usually had the power to soothe her. She finally gave up, went to her room, and rummaged through her closet for the box that held the treasured memorabilia she'd been collecting ever since the first grade. She found the ribbon from her first piano competition, when she was six, and ticket stubs from when she'd gone to New York with her parents to hear Richard Goode, one of the world's greatest classical pianists, play at Carnegie Hall.
She dug out the manila envelope filled with keepsakes from that magic summer and examined each item tenderly-the torn ticket stubs from her movie dates with Kouji, a candy wrapper he'd discarded and she'd retrieved, photos of the two of them building a sand castle on the beach and playing in the pool. Her favorite was the one of them with their arms around each other that a passerby had snapped for them. Kouichi's short dark hair glinted in the sunlight, and Zoe's expression was one of pure joy.
She thought back to the day they met. She had discovered a piano in one of the banquet rooms, so during her free time, she practiced. On that particular rainy afternoon, she looked up and saw Kouichi standing at the doorway, listening. She'd recognized him immediately.
"Don't stop," he said. "It's beautiful."
She felt tongue-tied.
He came over and leaned his elbows on the top of the piano. "I'll bet you've played all your life."
"Since I was four. I've always loved it." Just being in Kouichi's presence caused her hands to tremble on the keys.
"You've got a got. Do you mind if I listen?"
"I'm finished for today." She explained about her sitter job and how she was expected back in her room before dinner.
"Will you play again tomorrow?"
"Sure, besides I have to practice everyday to be the best."
His grin looked like warm honey. "Bet you'll make it . . . I don't know your name."
"Zoe Mill," she said, using her first and middle names only.
"I'm Kouichi. Until tomorrow, then."
She smiled and left the room quickly, her heart banging against her chest.
True to his promise, he came the next day, and the day after that, until they were seeing each other every day and then every free minute. By the end of her vacation job, Zoe had fallen madly, hopelessly in love with Kouichi Kimura, Kouji's only brother.
Zoe never told anyone, not even her best friend, Joyce Moore, about her summer with Kouichi. Joyce would have spread it all over school at the beginning of sophomore year, and Zoe would have been the topic of gossip. Plus, a lot of people would never believer her in the first place, and she didn't want to be in the position of having to defend her story. Nor was it likely that she and Kouichi would ever cross paths again. It had simply been easier to keep it to her it to herself, to store the memories inside her special box, and inside her heart.
The phone rang and she answered it.
"I miss you," Kouji said.
She laughed. "You just dropped me off."
"Not true. That was hours ago. What are you doing?"
Feeling guilty, she tucked the photo of herself and Kouichi back into the envelope. "I just finished piano practice. How about you and Kouichi?"
"I'm fine and Kouichi wanted to take a walk so he left after he drove Sandra back to her house." Kouji replied. "I'm all alone now." He pretended to sniff.
Zoe giggled. "Yeah right."
"Listen," Kouji said, suddenly growing serious. "I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Zoe said sweetly. "Besides, it's really sweet of you to call me and I mean it."
"Well, because I'm your boyfriend and I do care about you."
Now she was guiltier.
"Anyway," Kouji said. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Okay, bye."
But once she'd hung up, guilt grabbed her again. She'd been anything but honest with him. If she were honest, she'd have told him about her and Kouichi. Sooner or later, she might have to, because once they met again face to face, Kouichi might blurt out their shared history. Then again, he might not even remember it. Frankly, Zoe couldn't decide which would hut worse.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
"Coming!" Zoe called out, thinking that her parents are home. When she opened the door, her jaws dropped wide open.
Kouichi was lounging against the wall in the hallway. Their gazes met. She froze. He straightened and stepped toward her. "I think we should talk, don't you, Zoe Mill?"
"Maybe so," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Did you know that when I got home that summer, I called all the people with the last name of Mill in the local phone book? There are four, just in case you're wondering, but none of them had ever heard of a Zoe."
She felt hot and cold all over. "I-it's my middle name."
"No lie?"
His words stung. "No lie."
"All I knew was that you were from this area, so I wondered why you made it hard for me to find you again. I went over things in my mind a hundred times, trying to figure out what I'd said or done that cause you to lie to me."
"I never lied to you."
Kouichi shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. "But you didn't tell me the whole truth either. How was I suppose to locate you when I never even knew your last name?"
"I never thought I'd ever see you again." She felt hot wetness behind her eyes. 'Don't Cry,' she told herself silently.
"Were you dating Kouji at the same time and just wanted to mess around behind is back? Were you afraid I might drop your name to him and spoil your cheating game?"
"No! I didn't even know Kouji then. I would never cheat on him."
"But you'll cheat one me." Kouichi crossed his arms. His dark blue eyes looked cold. "You are dating my brother. Didn't you think we'd eventually run into each other somewhere along the way?"
"I - I wasn't sure you'd even remember me."
"You're not so forgettable, Zoe."
Tears welled in her eyes. "I - I didn't believe you could care about me. You could have any girl -"
"I didn't want just any girl." He paused, and then he took her hands. "I just want you."
She had dreamed of him to say such things to her. "But what about Kouji and Sandra?"
"We'll just have to keep it a secret." Then he looked at her. "Don't you want us to be together?"
"Yes, but -"
"Say no more." Kouichi interrupted her. Then he leaned closer to her and pressed his lips against hers.
When they pulled back, Kouichi just ran away.
'I want to be with you, Kouichi. But also love Kouji. I'm feeling very guilty right now. I don't know what to do.'
2 hours later when her parents have returned, she played the piano. Non-stop.
"Don't wear out the keys," her mother said, passing through the living room.
Zoe turned on the piano bench. "Most mothers are begging their kids to practice. I didn't mean to annoy you."
"Whoa. I never said you were annoying me. I was just wondering why you were driving yourself today. Did you and Kouji have a fight?"
"Kouji and I are fine."
"Okay, just keep playing. Pretend I never interrupted."
Zoe shook her head. "I'm finished." She head up the stairs to her bedroom. She felt anxious and tense. Since her conversation with Kouichi, her mind had been in turmoil, her insides in a knot. She still adored him; the old feelings hadn't changed. Except now she was Kouji's girl.
Dear Diary,
Tonight was really horrible. I met Kouichi, Kouji's brother. He didn't even give up on me at all! I was shocked. Both brothers whom I love. Today, Kouichi asked me to go back with him, without telling Sandra and Kouji. I mean, we're SNEAKING behind their backs. I don't want to hurt neither of the, but I finally made my decision, I want to go back with Kouichi. Sorry Sandra and Kouji, Kouichi meant a lot to me. I can't give up on him. I'm really sorry Kouji. I felt very guilty of all the things I've said to you. We'll tell Kouji and Sandra later.
Kouichi's POV
I don't know why I wanted to go back with her; I know my feelings for her didn't changed at all. But I still care about Sandra. Ever since the day I gave up finding you, I was depressed and I didn't even eat for 3 days. It was Sandra who cheered me up, stand by my side, and help me searched for her. She hasn't slept for 2 days just to search for Zoe. I know deep inside that I cared Sandra more than Zoe. But Zoe is my first love. I can't give up on her. But Sandra is really helpful, she showed me that Zoe is only your summer love and she told me to move on. I really did listen to her, but now that I returned, I'm feeling very guilty. I'm feeling very sorry to Sandra and Kouji. I don't want to sneak behind Kouji and Sandra's back. But I've finally made my decision, I want to go back with Zoe, eventhough I have betrayed my only brother.