AN: Tee Hee! Yu Yu Hakusho starts nooooooow. Prank Files. I make me giggle! Sorry for the wait and without further ado I give you CHAPTER FIVE!

bold means Hiei is talking with his Jagan

I sat at the bar, squeezed between Chu and Jin. Touya was sitting on the other side of Chu, glaring at me like I'd stolen his favorite toy or something.

Chu hopped over the bar and started rummaging around behind it. I don't think he's allowed to do that...

"'ey Mister! Whatta you think you's doing back here? You's aint sposed to be back here!" The barkeep yelled from the other side of the room.

"I'll do 'at I like, ya 'ear me? No damned amateur gonna tell me 'at I'm gonna do ya un'erstan'?" Chu hollered back, chucking a nearby bottle at the barkeeps head.

"DRINKS ON THE 'OUSE!" He bellowed.

I cringed as a mass of bodies surged towards us. I poked at Jin and pointed at the people and demons flying towards us.

"MOOOOOOOOSH PIIIIIIIIIIIT!" The Irish demon yelled and started running towards them.

Fwoosh

BAM!

"Bwahahhahahahahaha!"

Oh Kami, that was hilarious! Jin started flying at high speeds- Haha- and then Touya... Touya-hahaha- he p-put up a wall... of ice... And the idiot just smacked right into it! I don't think I laughed this hard since I sent Kurama that dream about him getting his head shaved while he was sleeping and he wouldn't talk to me, let alone look at me, for weeks!

I took a deep breath and tried to stop smiling. I glanced up at the wall as I heard a bang followed by a crack. A demon had smacked into it.

Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam

I looked at Jin's now paper thin form pooled on the ground at the bottom of the ice wall uneasily. He needs to float us out of the way... Now...

Touya stood slowly and walked calmly over to Jin.

"Get the hell up you damned Irish drama queen." He said primly and nudged Jin with his foot. Jin's body seemed to quickly reinflate. Hmmmm, he looks annoyed.

"Oi! Who ye callin' a drama queen? Gee, Icee, ye've grown a li'l too cold fer me! I think I need a li'l fire, if ye know 'at I mean." He spat out with that ever-present playful gleam in his eyes.

Why the hell did he look at me when he said that! Now Touya's glaring at me... Never mind, I don't want to know.

"Why you..." Touya growled at me, "I'm going to kill you!"

I stared at him not comprehending. What exactly did I wrong?

"What have I done? I really am dying to know..." I questioned. I don't really care but I would like to know before I kill him. After that there's no way of finding out.

"And I thought I was forgetful Jaganshi! The 'ell is this? Do ye not remember las' night?" Jin speed talked, floating around behind me and poking me discreetly in the arm.

I know from being around Yusuke for so long that a poke usually means to play along. I shuddered unnoticeably and involuntarily. Damn fruity Irishman dragging me into his damn fruity games... Hell if I'm playing!

I opened my mouth to reassure the irate ice demon only to have it slammed shut again by a strong gust of wind. I turned my head and glared at him, he just smirked.

"Jus' play along laddie!" He whispered, "It's so fun to rile 'im up!"

What's in it for me? I asked silently.

"'e may fight ya, if ye act it well enough that is." Jin hissed, draping an arm around my neck in a possessive half hug.

I restrained myself from flinching at the contact. I'm slightly touchaphobic... If I could restrain myself than the alcohol is already working... good. Oh well, might as well make this night worth it and fight Touya... I steeled myself for more contact and leaned back into Jin's half-embrace.

"I thought we weren't telling him?" I inquired, quirking an eyebrow quizzically.

Fine...

BOOM

"UP!" I shouted as the wall collapsed. I took another swig from the bottle Chu had tossed me. Mmmmmmm, it's good... V-O-D-K-A... Vodka? Whatever the hell that is... I took another drink as I glanced around, laughing softly as I got a headrush. Maybe I should drink more often... Wait... Something's missing... Oh yeah! Where's Touya?

I slowly looked down and slapped my hand over my mouth to keep my laughter in. Touya is flattened. And twitching... heheh, he's got footprints all over him...

"HA!" I allowed myself a small giggle.

Wait... I giggled... ew... I sound like Botan...

Jin floated us down a safe distance from the dangerous crowd, a few feet away from Touya.

"Kiss me!" That despicable Irishman muttered in my ear. My eyes got huge and I tensed. I'd kill him if I didn't feel so wonky from that vodka shit. He spun me around and looked at me.

"You've got to be kidding me." I said flatly.

"Do ye wanna fight 'im er wha'?" Jin snapped, glancing over my shoulder, " He's gettin' up now so ye'd best 'urry yer butt up!"

I still hesitated. Is he insane? There is no way in all hells he's gonna get me to...to...Ugh!

Jin's eyes flashed with impatience and a challenge. I've only ever seen him look like that when Bakken grabbed his arm while he was walking out of the ring to sit by the wall, he's usually got that stupid happy gleam in his eyes.

"If I didn' know better I'd say ye were scared!" He said in a dangerous voice.

Oh he did not just imply that I, the great Hiei Jaganshi, am scared! I'll show him scared! I'm not afraid of anyone or anything. I'm probably being influenced by that Vodka or whatever but... but... HE SAID I WAS SCARED DAMMIT!

(Yaoi warning here: Thought I'd be friendly and let all you non-Yaoi lovers know that this bit was yaoi, but don't worry! Tis only a kiss:-3)

I stepped forward and flung my arms around his neck. Oh Kami, I'm on my tiptoes... I hate being short! I am so never going drinking with these idiots again!

I screwed my eyes shut and pressed my lips to his.

I hate you...

"Ye be's a very bad kisser..." Jin murmured against my lips.

Okay, fine, I was holding back, trying to preserve my dignity, but I'll show him! Women BOW to my masterful skills!

I tightened my grip on his neck as I prepared to do something that was unthinkable. If this ever gets back to the guys... HEADS WILL ROLL!

I pressed myself closer to Jin, trying to pretend he was a female version of Kurama and not the asinine one-fanged wind controlling idiot that he is. I nibbled at his lip drawing a sound of surprise from him and deftly slipped my tongue in, effectively deepening the kiss. I stroked the top of his tongue with mine then tickled his pallet. Twining our tongues, I nipped and sucked at his mouth. Jin moaned lightly as we continued to kiss. He's a good kisser...

Hold on...

Did I just... Ohmygod, I didn't just think that!

(Warning over)

Okay, we're done now.

We pulled apart and I turned back toward Touya smirking arrogantly. Touya is staring at us... Hmm, he looks really pissed.

"I'm going to make you wish you were never born!" He snarled, lunging at me.

"Too late for that." I growled side-stepping neatly and spinning to kick him from behind. He went flying. Through the front window. Oops.

When he didn't move I walked over and knelt down.

"I'm not after your Irish lapdog, don't worry. I assure you I'm not gay but Jin seemed to think I'd get the chance to hit you if I played along. It wasn't worth it." I said to him.

And so I headed back to the bar and Chu, who was now on the bar... Singing 'Man I feel like a woman'... wearing a hula skirt? I shuddered in disgust and turned back to Jin.

"Don't let me do that." I said shortly. He grinned in a way that told me there almost no chance that he would do as I said. Oh well, at least I'll be too drunk to remember it if I do.

I reached the bar and grabbed a random bottle from behind the counter. I had finished off the vodka. Time to get drunk as all hell.

A/N: Heheheh, sorry about the long wait my faithful reviewers! I hit a plot wall and I couldn't get around it! It's probably a little worse than the previous chapters but what can I say. Oh and thanks to Tanegaroa for inspiring the HEADS WILL ROLL bit with her reaction to me sending her a pic of Jin... well, er, he wasn't really wearing anything but that's besides the point now isn't it? Okay well I'll try to get the next one out sooner but no promises! It should be less than the 2 month wait for this one, but it still might not be considered soon. But never fear I'm getting a laptop soon so I should be able to write faster because I won't be forced off it so annoying little brothers can do homework.

So review me and make my plot reveal itself faster! I'll give you a cookie!

See you next time on Yu Yu Hakusho; Prank Files!

(Don't laugh at me, you know you love me!)

Zanica Valentine