Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own GH

Summary: Can Jason's love help Courtney dealing with the loss of their baby and her addiction? This take place right when she started taking the pills after she got beat up.

Chapter 1

Courtney was lying in bed awake; she wasn't ready to get up yet. She looked at her side, and saw that Jason wasn't there. It's been a couple of weeks, since our baby died.  It was my entire fault; I shouldn't have followed Jason to South America. Jason calling her name shook her from her thoughts.

"I thought you had already gone," Courtney said as she got up from the bed. Jason put his arms around her.

"Ow," she hissed. Jason frowned.

"Are you still hurting?" Jason asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. In more ways than one, she thought to herself. She wasn't just hurting physically, but she was hurting emotionally as well. My baby… I couldn't even keep the baby safe, if only I hadn't dove into the water. Mine and Jason's innocent baby would be here. Jason could see that Courtney was thinking tensely about something.

"You are thinking about our baby, aren't you?" he asked as he put his arms around her. She nodded slowly.

"Yes, I am. It was my fault, Jason. If I hadn't gone after you, I would still be carrying our baby."

"Don't blame yourself, Courtney."

"Then who I am suppose to blame?" Courtney shouted, "Do you want me to blame you? Is that what you want me to do? Because you didn't come get me in time. Do you think I should have stayed on the boat and you would have came and gotten me?"

"Courtney, that is not what I was saying," Jason said.

"Please, just go, Jason. Leave me alone." Jason looked at her, unsure what to say to her. He knew that she was in pain, but there was nothing that he could do about that.

"I said go, Jason," Courtney said firmly. Jason walked out of the penthouse, leaving Courtney alone. She went and sat down on the couch. She pulled a blanket over her. She didn't want to go anywhere; she just wanted to stay at home. She began to doze off.

**

Carly was walking back to the penthouse, when she heard screaming coming from Jason and Courtney's penthouse. She knocked on the door and called out both of their names. A moment later, Courtney opened the door.

"Carly, what are you doing here?" Courtney asked as she let Carly in the penthouse.

"Well, I was walking back to my penthouse when I heard screaming coming from here; are you okay?" Courtney looked down on the floor.

"It's nothing, Carly." She then stood up and started walked towards the window.

"I know how hard it is to lose a child, Courtney. Are you having nightmares about it?" Carly asked softly.

Courtney turned around and nodded slowly. Carly led Courtney to the couch.

"Courntey, it will get better, I promise you."

"How can it get better, Carly? I lost my baby. Nothing will ever change that. I won't be able to have any more children either," Courntey said as tears started to fall down her cheeks. Carly hugged Courntey.

"When I found out that I couldn't have any more kids, I was devastated, too. But look at me now," Carly said putting her hand on her stomach.

"But that doesn't happen to everyone, Carly."

"I know it doesn't," Carly said. Courtney looked at the time.

"Well, I have stuff I need to do, so I guess I will see you later," Courtney said as she started walk upstairs.

"Call me if you want to talk," Carly called out to Courtney. Courtney turned and smiled.

"Okay," she said in a whisper. Carly then walked out of the penthouse.

**

About an hour later, Courtney was walked into Kelly's.

"A coffee to go, please," she said to Penny.

"Here, Courtney," Penny said, "I haven't seen you in here for a few weeks. Everything ok?"

"I've been away," was all Courtney said as she grabbed her coffee and walked out of Kelly's. She began thinking about the argument she'd had with Jason. He just doesn't understand what losing a baby is like. It was his child, but he didn't even know about it until it was too late. It's like he can't grieve for it. We could have a daughter or a son, if I hadn't been so stupid, she thought to herself. She just wanted to forget about all her pain; she didn't want to feel anymore. She didn't want to feel the emptiness inside her that had been there since the miscarriage. She reached into her pocket and took the bottle of pills she had for the pain in her shoulder. She took two tablets out of the bottle and swallowed them.

She didn't feel any pain anymore. She felt like herself again.

To be continued.