Chapter 2
Emma woke up with her face wet.
"Annie! Sweetie, are you okay?" At first Emma was disoriented. Who was Annie? But then she remembered that she was. Annie had been her mom's pet name for her a long time ago ~ from, Emm-AN-uelle, and also because it came from Steph-ANIE. It was the part of the name that the mother and daughter had shared. But Stephanie hadn't called her Annie since her father had died. That must mean she's really worried, Emma thought. Ever since Stephanie and Mark had been married, it had been enough to get her mom to call her Emmanuelle, much less Annie. Mark thought it was a frivolous name. So the family just pretended that her name was Emma Sage Kinney, which annoyed Emma half to death. Emma was fine as a nickname, but gosh darn; her full name was Emmanuelle Sage. There were times when Emma thought she would like to go by Noelle, but it was never happening. Not in this family.
Emma slowly sat up, pushing her long brown hair out of her eyes. "I'm fine. I think I've got really bad gas or something. Something I ate must have disagreed with me."
"Uh, uh," Stephanie said, "Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, Emma Sage. For one thing, you haven't eaten anything today. And secondly, you were in too much pain for that. I could see it in your face. And you've never fainted in your life. This has been going on for a couple of days, hasn't it? You must think I don't notice anything. I thought it was just that time of month, but this seems more serious. I'm taking you to the hospital, pronto, no excuses."
Emma didn't have the heart to tell her mom that it had been going on a lot longer than a couple of days. "But I'm fine. . ." she started weakly.
"I said no excuses, Emmanuelle."
Stephanie had called her Emmanuelle; that definitely meant she was serious.
"But Stephanie," Michael piped up, "You said you were going to take me to school today."
Stephanie sighed. "You're right, I did. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Just then, Sean came in wearing his pajamas, flannel pants and a tee shirt, with his brown hair all sleep tousled.
"What's the hubbub about?" he asked, yawning.
Stephanie looked at him as though he were an angel. "Sean, I need your help. I promised Michael I'd take him to school. Can you possibly take Emma to the hospital?"
"Why would Emma need to go to the hospital?" he asked, looking as Emma half sprawled on the floor. "She looks fine to me."
"Emma fainted," Kristen informed him, "Stephanie's worried. Will you just do this so we can get on with our lives?"
"Fine, let me get dressed," Sean said and left the room.
When Stephanie went to help Michael move his float into the van, Kristen turned to Emma.
"I guess your little attention grabber didn't work how you wanted it to," she hissed.
Emma was confused. "What do you mean?"
"I know as well as you do that you're jealous you have to share your mom with us. In fact, you're afraid she likes us better. I'm glad that she's not going with you, you brat."
"Kristen, I didn't faint on purpose," Emma told her earnestly.
"Like hell you didn't," Kristen said and stormed off.
Just then, Sean returned, and Emma followed him to his car. As Sean started driving, Emma sighed. She did not want to go to the hospital. She hated having her mom worry. Hopefully this would just be a mistake and it would blow over. But Emma knew it wasn't a mistake. Her stomach had been hurting on and off for about two months now. Well maybe it would be something really stupid, that she just needed a big shot for or something, and she'd be all better, no harm done.
"So what's wrong with you Emmykins?" Sean asked.
Emma stuck her tongue out at the hated nickname. Sean knew she hated it; it was the only reason he continued to use it.
"Nothing," she lied, "Mom's overreacting." Deep in the pit of her stomach, Emma knew something was wrong. But then again, maybe SHE was overreacting. She'd freaked herself out. So she really wasn't lying, she rationalized. Nothing is seriously wrong. She just had to keep thinking that. Positive thinking, remember?
"Then again," she joked, "Maybe I have appendicitis, and I'll end up with a cool scar."
Sean laughed. "Again? What is it with you and your appendix? Or should I say, lack of?" It was common knowledge that Emma had had an appendectomy when she was three. Whenever she wore anything that bared her belly one could see the scar. Of course, Max thought it was cute.
They arrived at the hospital too soon for Emma's taste. No, she just wanted it over, remember? They checked her in at the Emergency Room, not knowing where else to go.
"What's the problem?" the desk clerk asked.
"I fainted, and my mom wanted me checked out," Emma replied.
"Who's he?"
"My stepbrother. My mom couldn't bring me."
They gave Emma some forms to fill out about her insurance policy, and such, and finally, a doctor invited her into a room, but made Sean stay out. Emma was glad; she didn't want him in the room with her and the doctor.
"So what seems to be the problem, Miss Kinney?" the doctor asked.
"I fainted and my mom wanted me to come in," Emma told him.
"And why did you faint?"
And the truth came out. Emma had told him about the pain in her abdomen, and how it had been intensifying over the past couple of months, and the look of concern on the doctor's face grew. He asked her to describe the kind of pain it was exactly and she told him how it felt like something was gnawing its way back to her spine. He made her lay down on the table and he felt her entire abdomen. And suddenly, he stopped.
"Is there any way to get in touch with your mother or father?" he asked, "I'd like to run a test and I'll need their permission." Emma borrowed Sean's cell phone to call her mom at the grade school and put the doctor on. Mrs. Taylor agreed to the test and said she would come as soon as she could. Sean needed to leave to go to work, and suddenly, Emma was alone in the big scary hospital.
They did a sonogram on her, and then gave her a hospital room and gown. Not long after, Stephanie arrived, looking worried.
"I've talked to the doctors, sweetie," she said in too cheerful of a voice. "Apparently, they need to run a couple more tests on you." So Emma got a CAT scan, and a tube into her stomach, and by the time they were done she was so exhausted that she just fell asleep without asking what was wrong.
Later when she woke up, Stephanie was there.
"Mom, what do the tests say?" Emma asked, "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing," said Stephanie. Emma could tell that Stephanie believed what she was saying, but Emma didn't believe her.
"Mom, what!" she yelled.
"Ssh," Stephanie whispered, "Just a little bitty cancer. Don't tell anyone. It's not a big deal."
"NOT A BIG DEAL????" Emma yelled in shock and disbelief. Her eyes widened even further as Stephanie grabbed her wrists tightly.
"Emma, you have to promise. Don't tell anyone, okay. It's no big deal. We'll fix it, oh Emmy we'll fix it!"
Emma had never seen her mother like this before and it frightened her. She had no choice but to agree. But that mean she didn't have the right to know exactly what was going on. So after Stephanie called home to tell everyone that Emma was just fine and dandy, and simply needed a couple days rest, and then went to pick up Michael, Emma searched out a doctor.
She finally found the ER doctor on the phone. "Yes, I know it's short notice, but it's desperate. I do think she'll really benefit. . . Okay, I'll wait back for your call, okay, bye." He turned around and jumped to see Emma there.
"Miss Kinney, what a surprise."
"Hey, doc," Emma greeted him, "I'm here because I just talked to my mom. She just told me that I had a little bit of cancer and that's it. I've never seen her this way before, and so I thought I should probably get details."
Dr. Nelson's face was grave. "I think perhaps you'd better sit down," as Emma continued to stand, he continued, "or perhaps not. Emmanuelle, I'm afraid your mother is in denial, major denial. You see, you don't have a little bit of cancer that we can just blast away and be done with. You have pancreatic cancer which has progressed to its fourth stage. I'm afraid that there's nothing we can do for you. I didn't want to tell you this way, but I realize that your mother would never have let you know, and I think it's something you do need to know."
I'm dying, Emma thought, then found herself asking the doctor, "How much longer do I have?"
"A couple of months at the most," he replied, "I'm sorry."
Emma was finding herself reacting exceedingly calmly to the news. I'm going to die this summer, she thought. I won't make it to my 18th birthday. I'll never officially become an adult. Well. . . that sure throws a monkey wrench into my future plans, doesn't it?
Emma woke up with her face wet.
"Annie! Sweetie, are you okay?" At first Emma was disoriented. Who was Annie? But then she remembered that she was. Annie had been her mom's pet name for her a long time ago ~ from, Emm-AN-uelle, and also because it came from Steph-ANIE. It was the part of the name that the mother and daughter had shared. But Stephanie hadn't called her Annie since her father had died. That must mean she's really worried, Emma thought. Ever since Stephanie and Mark had been married, it had been enough to get her mom to call her Emmanuelle, much less Annie. Mark thought it was a frivolous name. So the family just pretended that her name was Emma Sage Kinney, which annoyed Emma half to death. Emma was fine as a nickname, but gosh darn; her full name was Emmanuelle Sage. There were times when Emma thought she would like to go by Noelle, but it was never happening. Not in this family.
Emma slowly sat up, pushing her long brown hair out of her eyes. "I'm fine. I think I've got really bad gas or something. Something I ate must have disagreed with me."
"Uh, uh," Stephanie said, "Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, Emma Sage. For one thing, you haven't eaten anything today. And secondly, you were in too much pain for that. I could see it in your face. And you've never fainted in your life. This has been going on for a couple of days, hasn't it? You must think I don't notice anything. I thought it was just that time of month, but this seems more serious. I'm taking you to the hospital, pronto, no excuses."
Emma didn't have the heart to tell her mom that it had been going on a lot longer than a couple of days. "But I'm fine. . ." she started weakly.
"I said no excuses, Emmanuelle."
Stephanie had called her Emmanuelle; that definitely meant she was serious.
"But Stephanie," Michael piped up, "You said you were going to take me to school today."
Stephanie sighed. "You're right, I did. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Just then, Sean came in wearing his pajamas, flannel pants and a tee shirt, with his brown hair all sleep tousled.
"What's the hubbub about?" he asked, yawning.
Stephanie looked at him as though he were an angel. "Sean, I need your help. I promised Michael I'd take him to school. Can you possibly take Emma to the hospital?"
"Why would Emma need to go to the hospital?" he asked, looking as Emma half sprawled on the floor. "She looks fine to me."
"Emma fainted," Kristen informed him, "Stephanie's worried. Will you just do this so we can get on with our lives?"
"Fine, let me get dressed," Sean said and left the room.
When Stephanie went to help Michael move his float into the van, Kristen turned to Emma.
"I guess your little attention grabber didn't work how you wanted it to," she hissed.
Emma was confused. "What do you mean?"
"I know as well as you do that you're jealous you have to share your mom with us. In fact, you're afraid she likes us better. I'm glad that she's not going with you, you brat."
"Kristen, I didn't faint on purpose," Emma told her earnestly.
"Like hell you didn't," Kristen said and stormed off.
Just then, Sean returned, and Emma followed him to his car. As Sean started driving, Emma sighed. She did not want to go to the hospital. She hated having her mom worry. Hopefully this would just be a mistake and it would blow over. But Emma knew it wasn't a mistake. Her stomach had been hurting on and off for about two months now. Well maybe it would be something really stupid, that she just needed a big shot for or something, and she'd be all better, no harm done.
"So what's wrong with you Emmykins?" Sean asked.
Emma stuck her tongue out at the hated nickname. Sean knew she hated it; it was the only reason he continued to use it.
"Nothing," she lied, "Mom's overreacting." Deep in the pit of her stomach, Emma knew something was wrong. But then again, maybe SHE was overreacting. She'd freaked herself out. So she really wasn't lying, she rationalized. Nothing is seriously wrong. She just had to keep thinking that. Positive thinking, remember?
"Then again," she joked, "Maybe I have appendicitis, and I'll end up with a cool scar."
Sean laughed. "Again? What is it with you and your appendix? Or should I say, lack of?" It was common knowledge that Emma had had an appendectomy when she was three. Whenever she wore anything that bared her belly one could see the scar. Of course, Max thought it was cute.
They arrived at the hospital too soon for Emma's taste. No, she just wanted it over, remember? They checked her in at the Emergency Room, not knowing where else to go.
"What's the problem?" the desk clerk asked.
"I fainted, and my mom wanted me checked out," Emma replied.
"Who's he?"
"My stepbrother. My mom couldn't bring me."
They gave Emma some forms to fill out about her insurance policy, and such, and finally, a doctor invited her into a room, but made Sean stay out. Emma was glad; she didn't want him in the room with her and the doctor.
"So what seems to be the problem, Miss Kinney?" the doctor asked.
"I fainted and my mom wanted me to come in," Emma told him.
"And why did you faint?"
And the truth came out. Emma had told him about the pain in her abdomen, and how it had been intensifying over the past couple of months, and the look of concern on the doctor's face grew. He asked her to describe the kind of pain it was exactly and she told him how it felt like something was gnawing its way back to her spine. He made her lay down on the table and he felt her entire abdomen. And suddenly, he stopped.
"Is there any way to get in touch with your mother or father?" he asked, "I'd like to run a test and I'll need their permission." Emma borrowed Sean's cell phone to call her mom at the grade school and put the doctor on. Mrs. Taylor agreed to the test and said she would come as soon as she could. Sean needed to leave to go to work, and suddenly, Emma was alone in the big scary hospital.
They did a sonogram on her, and then gave her a hospital room and gown. Not long after, Stephanie arrived, looking worried.
"I've talked to the doctors, sweetie," she said in too cheerful of a voice. "Apparently, they need to run a couple more tests on you." So Emma got a CAT scan, and a tube into her stomach, and by the time they were done she was so exhausted that she just fell asleep without asking what was wrong.
Later when she woke up, Stephanie was there.
"Mom, what do the tests say?" Emma asked, "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing," said Stephanie. Emma could tell that Stephanie believed what she was saying, but Emma didn't believe her.
"Mom, what!" she yelled.
"Ssh," Stephanie whispered, "Just a little bitty cancer. Don't tell anyone. It's not a big deal."
"NOT A BIG DEAL????" Emma yelled in shock and disbelief. Her eyes widened even further as Stephanie grabbed her wrists tightly.
"Emma, you have to promise. Don't tell anyone, okay. It's no big deal. We'll fix it, oh Emmy we'll fix it!"
Emma had never seen her mother like this before and it frightened her. She had no choice but to agree. But that mean she didn't have the right to know exactly what was going on. So after Stephanie called home to tell everyone that Emma was just fine and dandy, and simply needed a couple days rest, and then went to pick up Michael, Emma searched out a doctor.
She finally found the ER doctor on the phone. "Yes, I know it's short notice, but it's desperate. I do think she'll really benefit. . . Okay, I'll wait back for your call, okay, bye." He turned around and jumped to see Emma there.
"Miss Kinney, what a surprise."
"Hey, doc," Emma greeted him, "I'm here because I just talked to my mom. She just told me that I had a little bit of cancer and that's it. I've never seen her this way before, and so I thought I should probably get details."
Dr. Nelson's face was grave. "I think perhaps you'd better sit down," as Emma continued to stand, he continued, "or perhaps not. Emmanuelle, I'm afraid your mother is in denial, major denial. You see, you don't have a little bit of cancer that we can just blast away and be done with. You have pancreatic cancer which has progressed to its fourth stage. I'm afraid that there's nothing we can do for you. I didn't want to tell you this way, but I realize that your mother would never have let you know, and I think it's something you do need to know."
I'm dying, Emma thought, then found herself asking the doctor, "How much longer do I have?"
"A couple of months at the most," he replied, "I'm sorry."
Emma was finding herself reacting exceedingly calmly to the news. I'm going to die this summer, she thought. I won't make it to my 18th birthday. I'll never officially become an adult. Well. . . that sure throws a monkey wrench into my future plans, doesn't it?