Aftermath
Chapter 7
"Courtney," the person said in surprise, "What are you doing here?" Courtney looked at her.
"I'm sorry Elizabeth. I should have never showed up here, I don't even know why I did. I just didn't know where else to go, I need somewhere to stay tonight," Courtney cried as she started to shake.
"I understand that you don't want me here," she said as she walked away.
Elizabeth looked at Courtney and could see that she was in trouble. It was like she was going through withdrawal; she couldn't just let Courtney leave like that. She didn't know what Courtney would do if she was really on drugs.
"I don't want to get in your way."
"No, Courtney, you won't. Why don't you come in," Elizabeth suggested letting Courtney into the studio. Courtney looked at Elizabeth.
"Thank you, I really didn't know where else to go. I just need somewhere to sleep tonight and then I am leaving town."
"Leaving town?" Elizabeth asked. Courtney looked at Elizabeth and nodded.
"Yes, you will never have to see me again; I know you will be happy about that. I bet
you heard already that everybody thinks that I have a drug problem and
should go to a rehab center." Elizabeth shook her head.
"I didn't hear anything about that; I told Jason that I was concerned that something was wrong with you that you might have a problem with drugs."
"Why did you tell Jason? It's not like we are friends or anything?" Courtney asked as she sat down.
"I don't know why, Courtney. I guess I saw that you were in trouble and that you
need some help."
Elizabeth sat down next to Courtney, "I don't know why you got addicted to painkillers, but the night that I was walking back to my room and saw
you throw the bottle of pills across your room, I knew that you needed some
help. I would have gone and talked to you myself, but I didn't think that
you would listen to me."
Courtney laughed. "I probably wouldn't have."
Suddenly out of the blue, Courtney asked a question. "How did you forget about your baby?"
Elizabeth went silent for a moment and walked over to her cupboard for a
moment and took something out or it and then walked back over to Courtney.
"I shouldn't have said anything, Elizabeth. I'm sorry."
"No, it is okay. For the first few months after I had the miscarriage, I felt like something was missing, like half of me was gone when I lost my baby. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night thinking of my baby. I didn't want to leave the
house, but I knew that I had to."
Courtney nodded. "That is exactly how I feel, like I am nothing. I tried
to explain to Jason how I feel it, but it's like he didn't understand how I felt and feel right now."
"Ric tried everything to help me deal with it, that was before he kidnapped Carly. He tried to help with deal with it, but he couldn't. There was only one that helped me," Elizabeth said as she pulled something out from behind her back. It was a teddy bear.
"This is the only thing I have from my baby; it was the first toy that Ric and
I brought for it. I'll never forget about my baby, not even when I have
lot and lots of kids. But whenever I do forgot, just for a little while, I just pull this bear out and remember." Tears started to fall down Courtney's cheek.
"I didn't mean to upset you, Courtney. I just want you to realize that no
matter what happens you are never going to forgot about the baby you lost,
it just gets easier."
"But how do I do it, Elizabeth?" she asked with this scared look on her
face.
"I don't know, it is just gets easier somehow. I don't know how to explain it, but Courtney you have to realize that you do have a problem. Why did you start taking the drugs in the first place?"
For the first time in weeks, she wasn't going to lie; she was going to tell the
truth.
"It wasn't like I told myself that I was going to take drugs, but when I had
my neck and shoulder injury, they gave me painkillers; I guess it made the
pain of losing Jason and my baby so much easier."
Elizabeth suddenly realized how much pain Courtney had been going through these
past few weeks.
"Courtney, you didn't have to take drugs. You have Carly, Sonny, and Jason to help you."
"I didn't want any help, not Jason, Carly or Sonny. It's my fault that
my baby died!"
"It was not your fault."
Courtney shook her head. "Everybody tells me that, but I am always going to think about what would have happened if I hadn't gone to help Carly, or if I didn't jumped off the boat."
Elizabeth paused for a moment and then spoke.
"Sometimes I think about the night that I fall down the stairs and lost my child and think that if only I hadn't gone to meet Sonny, my child could be alive right now, but then I realize that I can't think that way, if I do, I will never be able to get on
with my life."
"You have to realize that you have to do the same thing, it will be harder,
but you have your family to help you. Do they know where you are?"
Courtney shook her head. "They have no clue where I am; I left the hospital
without anybody seeing me last night and I'm sure they know now that I am
missing, but I can't go home. If I do they will sent me to the rehab center
tonight."
Elizabeth looked at Courtney. "You know you are going to have to go there sometime
if you want to get better, don't you?"
"Yes I know, I want to get help, but I'm scared." Elizabeth hugged Courtney.
"I know you are scared, but it is the only way to get better. You do want to
get better, don't you?"
"Yes I do, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to get better, Elizabeth.
Look I couldn't even handle losing Jason and my child. I had to take drugs
to make it all better," Courtney said as she started to cry.
Elizabeth grabbed her cell phone and handed it to Courtney.
"Call Jason and tell him everything that you just told me. He will help you; I know he will. He loves you."
Courtney whispered. "I love him too, but I can't call him not tonight,
please promise me that you won't call him."
"Are you going to still leave town tomorrow? Is that why you don't want to
call him?" Elizabeth questioned Courtney. Courtney looked at Elizabeth.
"No, it's not that. I don't want him to see what a failure I am," she said as tear started to fall down her cheek, "I don't know what I am going to do, Elizabeth, but I don't want Sonny and Jason telling me what to do, I had to make my own decisions. Can I stay here tonight?"
"Of course," Elizabeth said as she got up, and walked over to the counter and started to make some coffee.
"Here's some coffee, it should help you." Courtney looked up at Elizabeth.
"I can't believe how nice you have been to me." Elizabeth smiled.
"I can see that you are going through a rough time right now, and that you could use someone to listen to. I'm not as bad as you think," Elizabeth laughed.
"I am beginning to see that," Suddenly Courtney yawned.
Elizabeth picks up some sheets and blankets, and handed them to Courntey.
you need them,"
"Where are you going to sleep?" Courtney asked.
"I'll probably stay at Kelly's tonight. Good night," Elizabeth said as she
walked out of the studio, leaving Courtney alone.
A hour later at Sonny's penthouse,
Carly and Sonny were sitting on the couch when Jason walked through the
door.
"Jason, did you find Courtney?" Jason looked at Carly.
"I just didn't find her, but I know that she is okay for tonight." Carly looked up at Jason.
"How do know she is okay?" Jason sat down next to them.
"Elizabeth called me just a little while ago, and she said that Courtney showed up at her door and is staying there for
the night."
"Why would Courtney show up at Elizabeth when she has family right here that are worried about her?"
"Elizabeth said that Courtney didn't want to talk to me or Sonny tonight, but she is staying at Elizabeth's tonight, so we know that she is safe."
Carly looked at Jason. "Jason, go and get her now, she shouldn't be at
Elizabeth's. She should be with her family."
"Carly, Elizabeth told me that Courtney doesn't want to see us tonight, but
she said that she will be fine tonight; she is at Elizabeth's studio."
Carly stood up. "If you aren't going to go get her, I'll go myself," she
said. Sonny walked up to her.
"Carly, just leave it for tonight, Courtney
will be fine on her own," Carly put her arms around Sonny. "I know she will,
but I want to help her,"
"We will help her, just not tonight," Sonny said. "Let's go bed, and we will
figure out what to do tomorrow."
Elizabeth walked down the stairs, and smiled at Bobbie.
"Good morning, I would like two bagels, two coffees, and some of your banana cream pie."
"Coming right up," Bobbie said. A few minutes later, Bobbie gave Elizabeth
her order. Elizabeth paid her and was on her way out of Kelly's when she
turned around.
"I can't work today, Bobbie. I have a friend that I need to help," Elizabeth
replied. Bobbie nodded.
"That's fine, I understand." Elizabeth smiled.
"Thanks," she said as she walked out of Kelly's. She wasn't sure if Courtney would want her help, but she was going to try her best to help her. When she walked into the studio and didn't see Courtney anywhere. She looked around and suddenly she saw Courtney on the floor leaning against the wall.
"What are you doing on the floor?" Elizabeth said as she kneeled next to
her.
"I need them, now! Please get them for me," Courtney said in a shaky voice. Elizabeth saw her hands shaking.
"But Courtney, I thought that you wanted to get better," Elizabeth said.
Courtney grabbed a hold of Elizabeth.
"I said get me my drugs now!"
"Okay, I'll get them for you. Just hold on." Courtney then let go of Elizabeth.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap like that, but I just need the drugs to make everything go away. I had a dream last night that Jason and I had a baby girl, but then it suddenly disappear from my arms, and Jason said it was my fault, and then he disappeared as well."
Courtney stood up, "I lost everything in my life! The only thing that makes
sense right now is to take drugs; they are the only thing that make my pain
go away."
"Courtney you haven't lost everything in your life, you still have Carly and
Sonny, and you still have Jason. They wanted to help you, let them."
"No!!" Courtney shouted as she started to walk away from Elizabeth. Suddenly
someone knocked on the door. Elizabeth opened the door.
"You're here," she said as Jason walked into the studio. Courtney turned around, and saw Jason standing in front of her.
"How could you call him? You promise me!" she shouted at Elizabeth, "I thought you
understand what I was going through, but I was wrong, how could I ever trust
you!"
Elizabeth walked up to her. "The only thing I wanted to do was help you, and
I think Jason can. Just tell him exactly what you told me," She then pulled
out something out of the drawer.
"Courtney, you can keep this with you, and remember what I said, you will never forget your baby," she said as she handed her the bear. Courtney looked at Elizabeth.
"But this is the bear that you got for your baby."
"I think you need it more than I do," Elizabeth said, as she walked out of
the studio.
Courtney and Jason both looked at each other, not sure what to say to each
other.
"You know, I don't need any help really, Jason. I'm fine. I'm not a drug
addict." Jason took a hold of her hand.
"Please Courtney, don't lie to yourself. You know that you have a problem, I want to help you."
Courtney walked away from Jason, and sat down on the couch, he followed her.
She looked up at her, and started to cry.
"I don't know what to do, Jason," she said, as she put her head on his shoulder.
A hour later,
Jason looked at Courtney, who was still laying in his arms.
"Why did you do this, Courtney?" She looked up at him.
"Because I lost the two most important things in my life, you and our child. The pills just make everything go away, I didn't feel the pain of losing our child, I didn't
feel pain of not being without you, and just didn't feel any pain."
Jason couldn't believe how much pain she was in.
"Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"
"I tried to Jason, but you just didn't understand the pain I was going through losing not just our child, but you as well,"
"You didn't lose me, Courtney. I still love you, and I will always will."
She then looked into his eyes, and could see that he meant it; she leaned
over and kissed Jason. It felt so good to be in his arms and kissing him.
Suddenly she looked up at Jason. "I want to get better, please help me,"
Jason put her arms around her. "I will help you, everything is going to be
fine," he whispered.
As she put her head on his shoulder, she sighed. She hopes that Jason was
right, and that everything was going to be okay.
To be continued!!