After the Veil

By Neurotica

Storms

It's amazing how lightning storms have the effect they do on people. The heaviest sleepers in the world could be awakened by the sound of crackling thunder or the flash of a lightning bolt. Even a person who hadn't slept well in weeks, and was utterly exhausted, could be kept awake by a lightning storm. They also seemed to bring people together in the oddest ways...

Remus Lupin just so happened to be one of those people who had fallen victim to insomnia due to a lightning storm one night. He lay awake, his arms crossed behind his head, staring at the ceiling, watching the lightning form odd shapes above his head. At times, if he squinted hard enough and cocked his head a bit, he could make out the shapes of a large dog and a stag. Once, he could have sworn he'd seen the shadows form a heart-shaped face with spiky hair.

Earlier that night, the Order had met for the second time since Sirius' death. Since there was no longer any need to guard the Department of Mysteries, the members of the Order had been assigned new duties. Lupin had been set the duty of strategizing plans of attack. The information he would use would be provided by none other than Severus Snape. In short, Lupin would have to deal with the Potions Master more often than he would like—for the good of the Order, he repeatedly told himself.

Regardless of his current feelings for Snape, Lupin would have to remain civil towards the other wizard. It had always been hard for Lupin to sincerely loathe any person—save Voldemort, of course—but Snape seemed to be becoming the exception to that rule. As far as Lupin was concerned, it was Snape's fault Sirius was gone. If he hadn't been so bloody cold towards Harry, the boy wouldn't have gone to the Department of Mysteries that night, and the Order wouldn't have had to go and save him and his friends. There were a number of people Lupin could blame for what happened— Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Umbridge, Fudge, Wormtail, himself, even Sirius— but no matter how much blame was passed around, Lupin knew it wouldn't bring his friend back. Though he did have to admit that finding someone to blame did make him feel a bit better.

Rubbing his face roughly, thinking that he'd need to shave soon, Lupin rolled out of the comforts of his bed and made his way down to the kitchen. He noticed a light under the kitchen door and raised an eyebrow. He'd been pretty sure everyone had gone home after the meeting...

He pushed the door open slowly and saw a silhouette at the kitchen table. There was music playing quietly in the background—The Weird Sisters, if he remembered correctly. Ah, must be Tonks, Lupin thought with a small smile.

When he allowed his mind to wander—which he rarely did anymore—it always seemed to fall upon the young Auror. He couldn't figure out why this was; he hadn't really had that problem with women in years. Once, he thought she'd put some sort of spell on him, but then he rolled his eyes at the childishness of that thought. Sirius had tried that on a girl once and ended up in the hospital wing when the spell had hit James as he was passing in Sirius' line of wandfire.

"Hello, Tonks," he said quietly as he reached the foot of the stairs.

Tonks started, dropping the spoon she'd been using to eat a bowl of ice cream. "Wotcher, Remus," she said, ducking under the table to get her spoon.

Lupin's eyebrow rose almost automatically as he happened to catch a nice glimpse of her small shirt riding up her back. He quickly cleared his throat and looked away until she was back in her seat.

"Want a banana orgasm?" Tonks asked innocently.

Lupin's mouth dropped open. "I—I'm sorry... What?"

Tonks chuckled and moved aside so Lupin could see her bowl of ice cream. "It's my own invention," she explained cheerfully while Lupin fought to keep his composure. "Two bananas, chocolate syrup, vanilla bean ice cream, strawberries, cherries, and peanuts."

"Wouldn't that be a banana split?" Lupin asked, barely trusting himself to speak.

"Probably," Tonks said thoughtfully. "But I like my name for it much better."

"Right," Lupin said slowly, moving to sit beside the witch.

"Want one?"

Lupin grinned slightly. "Sure."

Tonks smiled brightly, causing Lupin's stomach to do a small somersault, and conjured the ingredients for the ice cream dish with a wave of her wand.

The two spent a few moments in silence eating their ice cream and merely enjoying each other's company. Lupin kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, but she seemed to sense his stare; she'd look up, smile nervously, and quickly look back down at her bowl.

After thirty minutes of this, Lupin could no longer handle the silence. "So what are you doing here so late? I thought you'd gone after the meeting."

Tonks swallowed a rather large spoonful of ice cream before answering. "Well, I did, but I couldn't sleep due to the storm. I've never really handled storms well by myself, so here I am."

Lupin definitely sensed a shyness in her voice that he'd never heard before. He liked it. "I'd rather spend a night alone than in this place. Especially during a storm."

"Why are you awake?" she asked with a tone that suggested she already knew the answer.

Lupin shrugged. "I always get a case of insomnia during these kinds of storms. It'd gotten so bad during Hogwarts that my friends wouldn't even go to sleep when we'd heard one was heading our way. That's when we pulled some of our more extravagant and daring pranks, actually."

Tonks smiled. "You know, McGonagall was still talking about that prank involving the dragon skeleton in the Defense room and the Slytherin dungeons when I graduated."

Lupin laughed—the first time he'd truly laughed in weeks—and was unable to stop for several minutes. When he got himself under control, he wiped a tear from his eye and still smiling widely, he said, "Yes, I remember that one well. Fifth year, that was. James and Sirius had been trying to charm that thing to fly since day one of first year."

"So were you four really as big of trouble makers as everyone says?" Tonks asked eagerly.

"Depends on who you talk to," he said. "McGonagall will go one for days about how we were her worst nightmares. Dumbledore, on the other hand, would say we were harmless. He was always soft with us, unless someone was put in danger, or actually hurt, which rarely ever happened."

"And who was the worst out of all of you?"

"Again, that depends on who you ask. Our professors seemed convinced that Sirius and James were the real problems. But Sirius and James seemed to think it was me for some reason."

Tonks choked on a peanut. "You?" she asked, pointing her spoon at him.

"I honestly never understood where they came up with that. I mean, they were the ones who actually came up with the plans. I merely made it so we wouldn't get caught."

She shook her head in mock-disappointment. "And here I thought you were the good one..."

Lupin grinned mischievously. "There's no such thing as a good Marauder, Tonks."

She matched his grin and they fell into a comfortable silence as they finished their ice cream.

Again, Lupin tried to watch her when he thought she wasn't looking and this time he was a little more successful. He studied the way she scraped the bowl for what was left of the melted milk, the way her eyes twinkled when the firelight hit them just right. He found himself wondering if her skin was as soft as it looked—

He shook himself quickly, blinking as he looked away from the young Auror sitting beside him. She hadn't seemed to notice his sudden movements; taking advantage of this, he surreptitiously scooted a little further away from her in his chair. The last thing he needed to do right now was do something he was certain he would regret. Tonks was nothing more than a fellow Order member and a friend who was going through the same loss he was. He was mistaking her attempts to comfort him as something more, something that probably didn't exist in the first place.

But am I? he wondered. How many times did Sirius tell me she fancied me?

It was Sirius, his mind reminded him. He was the one trying to set you up on dates with girls who didn't have an ounce of brains in their heads.

Tonks does, though. She'd have to have some brains to get as far as she had in the Auror squads. Not to mention everything she'd done for the Order that year. And bravery, that has to count for something, doesn't it? It would have to take somebody brave to have risked her career at the Ministry because she put her trust in Albus Dumbledore.

But she's a complete klutz! She trips over air, for Merlin's sake!

Even that can be endearing at times. His stomach somersaulted again. Especially when I'm there to catch her and keep her from falling to the ground. The way her arms grasp mine and the cute embarrassed smile she gives every time she gets back on her feet...

What are you thinking? his mind screamed at him. She's thirteen years your junior! Besides, do you really think she would want anything to do with somebody who had no home, no job, and barely enough money to survive? Not to mention you just happen to turn into a bloodthirsty, man-eating beast once a month. That alone would be cause enough for her to be shunned from the entire wizarding world and possibly even her own family. No. She's better off with somebody young and whole who can give her the love and support she deserves without worrying about things like werewolves.

Lupin heaved a heavy sigh as he realized the voice was right.

"You okay?" asked Tonks from behind him.

He started and looked at her over his shoulder. "I'm fine," he said hoarsely, trying and failing to smile. "Lost in my thoughts again." He stood and took their bowls to the sink before turning to face her again. "I should be getting to bed; I've got to meet Dumbledore in the morning. Thank you for the ice cream."

Before she could do more than give him a look of mingled confusion and slight hurt, he was up the kitchen stairs and back in his bedroom again.

As he lay in bed again, his unconsciousness supplied him with images that told him how wrong he'd been about why he and Nymphadora Tonks could never be together. When he woke the next morning, he'd needed a very cold shower before he was able to face the rest of the house.