Maniac sat her desk, trying to update because the school sucks and gives her too much homework.
She sat typing away when all the sudden....
"Oh Crap!" she shouted. "The sun is coming up and I keep morphing into a banana!"
Megatron leaped from under the bed.
He pointed and laughed at her.
She growled and shot laser beams from her eyes.
Then Megatron turned into a giant pickle.
"Roll em'!"
After a night of partying, most of the Decepticons were drunk beyond reason.
Those that passed out first were mercilessly drawn upon with black permanent marker with ice cubes rammed into random places.
Soundwave was DJ as he play phat remixes from his turntable.
"Yo yo we be the fo' shizzle yall!" He rapped.
The computer had a party hat on and didn't sob as hard as it usually did.
Starscream was slightly sobered up, but still a little tipsy.
Randy however, was drunk.
Really, really drunk.
"You is gots a chicken on yur hheaddd...." He slurred as he leaned on Scorponok.
Scorponok tried to get away, but Randy followed.
"It's......it's a FLAMEING chicken....." she said slowly. "And it's....lickin' yur heeaddd......"
Scorponok screamed and ran away as Randy ran after him, running into walls.
"CHICKEN LICKEN'!!" He shouted as he chased after Scorponok.
Megatron sighed.
"The world is going to hell..." he mused over some fresh Ener-booze.
DING DONG!
A few of the Decepticons suffering from hangovers yelled and grabbed their heads in pain.
"Oh god....IT BURNS!" One shouted.
The party stopped almost instantly.
Someone was at the door?
That was unheard of.
"GRRRR...GET THR DOOR STARSCREAM!!" Megatron shouted.
Starscream grumbled angrily as he stomped to the door.
He opened the door and looked ahead.
No one there.
He looked down to see a....
Human girl?
She was grinning madly, and for some odd reason, she had his face on her shirt.
"OH MY GOD!" She shrieked and threw herself forward.
She latched on to his leg.
"OH MY GOD! I HAVE ALL YOUR ACTION FIGURES! YOU'RE MY FAVE AND I'M THE MOD ON THE "I LOVE STARSCREAM" MESSAGE BOARD!!" She screeched.
Starscream shrieked and flung her off into the sky.
Boom!
She hit the ground hard a few hundred feet away.
Starscream dusted off his hands as he smirked, thinking he fixed the problem.
He was sadly mistaken.
"OH MY GOD! IT SCREAMMY!" Called a chorus of high pitched voices.
Starscream looked into the horizon and saw a hoard of fan girls rush forward in a mass of human bodies.
He screamed and slammed the door just as a wave of bodies plowed into the door.
Shaking, he locked every lock the door had.
BOOM BOOM!
Sounds of knocking and muffled screams of girls drifted through the door.
Starscream ran off to warn the others.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
Megatron was about to take a big swig of Ener-booze when Starscream burst into the room.
Megatron choked on his Ener-booze in surprise as the party that has resumed a few moments ago stopped yet again.
"OHMYGODWE'REBEINGATTACKED!!!!" Starscream shouted hystericly.
"Slow down..." Swindle yelled. "Your making my head hurt."
"Fan girls....all around me..." Starscream shivered. "SO MANY OF THEM!"
Megatron gasped.
"Oh crap! They found us!" he shouted.
The pounding grew louder.
BOOM BOOM!!
Megatron gasped.
"Prepare for battle!!" he yelled.
"What he say?" asked a very drunk Randy.
CRASH!!
There was the tinkle of broken glass...
Then silence.
The "mighty" Decepticons pulled to the middle of the room in fear, shivering.
Skitter skitter...
They held their breath.
Something was movie toward them.
BOOM!
The door flew open as wave after wave of fan girls poured into the room.
Megatron screamed as hoards of girls flung themselves at him, all wearing shirts with his face on it.
"HELL FANS!" Megatron shouted.
Soundwave pulled a bazooka from behind his back and blew up a group of fan girls.
How he got it, no one really knows.
The rest pulled out their guns and started shooting like crazy.
The fan girls made a very disturbing squeaking sound as they exploded.
Frenzy screamed in agony as he was viciously devoured by a pack of rabid fan girls.
"WE WUV YOU FRENZY!" The shouted madly as they tore him apart.
Seeing that the battle was going nowhere, Megatron ordered for them to retreat in to the safety of the next room.
"Wait, we need to save the Ener-booze!" shouted Scrapper as he ran from the room.
"NO COME BACK!" The others shouted desperately after Scrapper.
"DON'T BE A FOOL! GET BACK HERE!" shouted Megatron.
"Don't worry, I'll be- URK!" Scrapper gasped as he was jumped by the fan girls.
The others winced and covered their audio sensors as Scrapper's scream reached full volume as he was devoured alive.
"I GOT HIS ARM!" shouted a fan girl.
"YEAH! WE CAN SELL IT ON EBAY!" shouted another.
Megatron sadly shook his head as the door closed, and cut them off from the vicious fan girls.
Then, night fell.
And that isn't a good thing.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
After a few hours of barricading the doors and boarding up the windows, the Decepticons made a sand-bag fort in the middle of the room which they hid in.
They had sobered up greatly, but most were suffering from severe hangovers.
Megatron scowled as they went over how much ammo they had left.
And it wasn't very much.
Some of the Deceptions were mourning the loss of their Ener-booze.
The computer sobbed quietly as it played classical music over the loudspeaker, which didn't help the situation at all.
"All right men!" Megatron announced. "We need to keep our heads clear if we want to survive to see the filthy earth sun yet again." He said.
The others nodded.
"OH CRAP!" Screamed Starscream.
Everyone looked at the windows.
Pairs of blue, green, and brown dots glowed evilly through the cracks in the board.
Scratching noises were heard along with "I have all the action figures" and "I have a tattoo of Megatron on my ass!"
It was disturbing indeed.
"OPEN FIRE!" screamed Megatron.
The Decepticons poured wave after wave of hot lead into the windows, the fan girls exploded as white fluff flew from their heads and splattered against the walls.
The computer played hard rock music in the background, which set a mood of impending doom if this was a movie.
They stopped shooting when they couldn't see the eyes anymore.
But they were out there...somewhere...
"Megatron!" Starscream said. "The hell fans pulled back and I think your sexy-I mean kick ass."
"What was that last part Starscream?"
"Um...you kick ass sir?"
"RIGHT YOU ARE!" Megatron shouted as Starscream breathed a sigh of relief.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
A few hours later.....
"I spy with my little eye.....something grey." Weirdwolf
"The walls..."Skywarp said plainly.
"Damn! That's the fifth time in a row!" Weirdwolf exclaimed.
"Its because the only thing around IS THE WALL YOU IDIOT!" Skywarp shouted.
Randy hummed happily as he rearranged the sand-bag fort, adding pillows and squishy furniture.
Soundwave was working on a new rap.
Tap tap....
Soundwave looked around annoying at Thrust who was beside him.
He went back to writing his rap.
Tap tap....
Soundwave punched Thrust hard in the face.
"Shut the hell up yo!" He shouted angrily.
"What I do? I didn't do anything!" Thrust shouted back.
"You were tapping and annoying Jam Master Soundwave when he was TRYING TO WRITE!" Soundwave shouted louder.
"I....wasn't tapping" Thrust said slowly.
Tap tap.....
Soundwave went pale.
"If it wasn't you.....and it wasn't me.......OH SHIT!" screamed Soundwave.
The Decepticons looked up at the ceiling.
The air vent was vibrating.
"Yo, dose the vents vibrate on a daily basis?" Slugslinger asked.
"No you idiot, were about to get attacked!" Wildrider as he smacked him in the back of his head.
"OW! WHY YOU-!!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Megatron shouted.
His army grew silent.
Tap tap tap tap....
They pulled out their weapons and aimed it at the vents.
BOOM!!!
Fangirls poured forth like water from a broken dam.
"OPEN FIRE MEN!!!" Megatron screamed.
The shot left and fight, some with a bazooka that magically appeared behind their backs.
But their numbers kept coming in waves.
"Good God....their multiplying!" Megatron said with horror.
Exploding heads and squeaking noises filled the air as the Decepticons struggled to keep them back.
Scourge screamed in agony as the fan girls ripped him apart, limb by limb as they prattle on about posting what happened on the "Scourge Lovers" Message board.
Astrotrain threw a grenade over the sand-bag wall.
"INCOMING!!"
KKKAAABBBOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!
Bodies and fluff flew everywhere as the grenade found its mark.
"Pull back girls!" shouted a girl, with Kickback's picture on her shirt.
They hissed and pulled back, flowing like shadows into the cracks in the wall and ceiling.
The Decepticons will never get a peaceful sleep again.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
Yet another few hours later.....
After boarding up the windows and ceiling, the Decepticons pulled together and counted their losses.
Ener-booze would be good about now.
The computer announced that the end has come and they might as well accept it.
Though chance.
Randy remained chipper despite the fan girl and Decepticon gore splattered against the wall.
He sprayed some Windex on it and cleaned it off, humming Mozart.
Megatron sighed.
Things were NOT looking very good.
The computer offered to blow the base up, but Megatron told it to shut up.
Having its self-esteem shattered, it sobbed loudly and switched itself off.
"We need.....a PLAN!" Megatron said dramatically.
The other D-cons gave him a funny look.
"No....Freakin'.....DUH!" They shouted.
Megatron shot nasty glares at a few of them.
"SHUT UP!" He screamed.
Everyone went quiet, save for Starscream who was looking at him in a funny way.
Megatron cleared his throat.
"All right, dose anyone have any ideas on how to survive the night?" He asked.
"I say we sacrifice Randy to the 7 gods of chaos and open a portal to the Apocalypse!!" Ramjet said.
Megatron shook his head.
"Ramjet, this is a war, not an angry powerhouse society." Megatron said.
"Lets send Randy out anyway, at least he'll stop trying to put cheerful curtains in my room"Longhaul suggested.
The rest nodded in agreement.
Megatron left the group and approached the humming Decepticon.
Randy blissfully cleaned, now humming Bachman Turner Overdrive.
"Hey uh...Randy" Megatron asked.
Randy stopped humming for a second.
"What's up Meggy-chan." He said sweetly.
"GRRR!! STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Megatron shouted.
"Oh, don't do that now, you might get a aneurism." Randy advised.
Megatron took deep breaths.
"We have...a plan. And it involves you." Megatron said slowly.
"You mean like the nation wide plan for our cell phones? 'Cause my plan charges too much for long distance...." Randy said as he cleaned.
"NO! Listen! This is a plan to live through the night!" Megatron said.
"Ohhh...." Randy said. "Why didn't you tell me this the first time?"
Megatron gave Randy a funny look and walked away.
"WHAT!" Randy called.
He hummed and began cleaning again.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
I'm getting tired of making more "A few hours later" lines.....
The Decepticons sat and waited.
Skitter skitter
They were coming...the evil that was unleashed upon the earth.
Evil glowing eyes dotted every shadow and window...waiting.
Metal fingers tightened on triggers and watched.
A tumble weed could have passed through and use yet another overused movie cliché.
Hissssssssssssssssssssss.................
Waiting.
Watching.
A few mumbled prayers to send more Ener-booze.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
The fan girls launched themselves in an onslaught of fury.
The Decepticons opened fire on the oncoming mass of crazed humans.
Exploding heads and screams filled the air.
The computer sobbed and played British pop cartoon chase music, which totally set off the mood.
"NOW RANDY!!" Megatron shouted.
Randy gleefully skipped over the sand-bag fort.
The Decepticons ceased fire, like in the plan.
"Heehee, I bet you 20 bucks Randy gets torn apart Soundwave..." Skywarp said.
"You're on fool!" Soundwave shot back.
All eyes were on Randy.
Randy smiled and skipped over to the mass of fan-girls.
"Wait? HE'S not on any fansites!!" whispered a confused fan-girl.
"Yeah, I think he might be a new Decepticon...." Another said.
"Hello, I'm Randy. And I like yooouuuuu...." Randy shouted.
He grabbed an armful of fan girls and squeezed hard.
They gasped from Randy's crushing hug.
The tried to get away, but no one escaped Randy.
The Decepticons watched gleefully (all but Skywarp) as Randy literally hugged the fan girls to death; their high pitched screams filled the air.
After the carnage, Randy looked around at the dead bodies.
"Oh dear," he said. "I seemed to have hugged them too hard."
The Decepticons cheered madly; finally, the fan girls were dead.
Skywarp sadly handed Soundwave a twenty.
They all looked out the window and saw that the sun was coming up.
"TO THE ENER-BOOZE!" shouted Megatron.
The cheering Decepticons went back to partying and being slackers.
D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D
One fan girl body lay in the bright sunlight.
Her fingers twitched once, and then relaxed slowly.
The fingers gripped the ground as the body pulled itself up wards, evil eyes glistening in the sun.
SQUISH!!!
She was soon flattened by a giant foot that belonged to Starscream.
He looked at the bottom of his foot in disgust.
"Ewww....." he moaned and scraped his foot on the ground.
Then he continued on, unaware that the flesh was slowly pulling back together.
NEXT WEEK ON RTSHD!!
Randy gets the other D-Cons to celebrate Halloween.
Spiked punch and Were-Autobots are the norms of a D-Con Halloween.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!
R&R, or Randy will beat me.