Much sorrys for the lack of updates.

Special thanks go out to Gromia for the idea for this chapter.

"Roll em!"

"Are you guys SURE this is going to work?" Randy asked.

He was standing in the middle of a large room.

Starscream and Skywarp were busily cutting out paper and gluing it together.

Finally, they managed to produce a construction paper Autobot symbol, badly cut out.

"Of course it's going to work! The plan is flawless!" Megatron said.

Starscream pulled out a roll of duck-tape and taped the paper symbol over Randy's Decepticon symbol.

Randy smiled.

"Grrr, stop moving Randy!" Starscream yelled.

"No."

Starscream sighed and continued to tape.

"But, Meggy-chan. I know the Autobot's are dumb…." Randy said. "But I'm sure they'll notice this!" he said, pointing to the duck-tape.

"Nonsense!" Megatron barked.

"But…" Randy started.

"IT'S FLAWLESS OKAY!!" Megatron roared.

Starscream shook his head.

Randy shrugged.

"JUST REMEMBER THE FRIGGIN' PLAN!" Megatron shouted.

"What plan?" Randy asked sweetly.

"THE ONE FROM LAST WEEK!" Megatron screamed.

"Oh yeah…."

Randy wiggled with absolute joy as he hugged himself.

Megatron sighed and pointed to the door.

Randy skipped all the way to the door as he smiled brightly.

The door shut behind him and Megatron quickly locked it.

Megatron laughed evilly.

Then he did it again.

"Sir, what exactly did you send Randy to the Autobots for? I don't remember a plan?" Skywarp asked.

Megatron laughed.

"That's the beauty of it! There is no plan! I simply sent Randy off to the Autobots to annoy them to death!" He laughed. "Hopefully, they'll destroy each other."

Starscream frowned.

"Sir, I don't think that will work!" he said. "At least strap some bombs to him! That way there's a slight chance of getting rid of the Autobots!"

Megatron turned around.

"Starscream, remember what happened last time when you questioned my authority?" he asked calmly.

"Um, you rubbed salt in my optics…" Starscream shivered.

"Well," Megatron continued. "I suggest you don't question me or I'll do it again!"

Starscream went silent and Megatron laughed again.

Starscream pouted and marched away, leaving Megatron to laugh like a skitzo megalomaniac, drawing funny looks from their fellow Decepticons.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D

Ding dong….

Optimus Prime woke up with a jerk.

He had fallen asleep in front of the TV again; about half a dozen of Ener-booze bottles littered the floor around the couch.

Ding dong….

He groaned with annoyance and dragged himself up.

Ding dong Ding dong….

"SLAG!" He shouted and shuffled to the door.

He opened it up a bit and peeked through the crack.

"Who the hell are you", he asked slowly.

With a flash of blue, Prime soon found himself in a crushing grip of a hug.

"IIII LLLIIIIKKKKKEEEEE YYYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!" Randy chirped.

He squeezed harder, causing Prime's optics to bug out of his face.

Prime gasped for breath as the homicidal robot hugged harder and harder.

Randy let go and beamed with happiness.

"Hello!" He spoke. "I'm Randy, the exchange soldier from Cybertron!"

He grinned happily.

Prime rubbed his head and looked at him funny.

"I wasn't told about that…" he mused. "Stupid people…..things…."

He rubbed his head again wearily and motioned with his hand.

"Come on in…." Prime droned.

He ran into the door twice before finally stumbling inside.

Randy followed, about to explode with joy.

Inside, the lobby was a mess.

Broken bottles and discarded Chinese takeout littered the floor.

An over-flowing wastebasket sat in the corner as a bottle of Ener-booze slowly dripped onto the floor.

Randy gasped.

Half of the Autobot team was doing nothing except sit around and get drunk.

Randy pouted.

"I had no idea they were just a bunch of free loaders…" he thought.

Bumblebee stumbled in; he was stoned out of his mind.

He walked up to Randy and leaned on him.

"Hey man…." He slurred. "Tell the green tiger over there to shut the hell up…"

He grinned wildly as he pointed to an empty corner.

A beat….

"SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO BUY YOU TIES!" He shouted.

Randy inched away.

Jazz ran in.

"HEY GUYS!" He shouted. "DID YOU ALL KNOW WHE'RE NAKED!?!"

A few mumbled groans from across the room acknowledged his presence.

Jazz laughed loudly and ran screaming out the door.

"NEKID!!!! HEHEHE! NNAAKKKIIIDDDD!!!" He shouted as waved his arms about his head.

Randy had enough.

Pulling an apron out of a hidden compartment and putting it on, he shooed all of the Autobots out of the room.

He grabbed cleaning supplies from a cabinet covered in dust and set to work cleaning.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D

Outside….

Megatron scowled.

Starscream pouted.

Skywarp hummed into a kazoo.

Megatron lowered the binoculars from his optics.

"Why is Randy cleaning?" He shouted.

Starscream turned around.

"I TOLD you to at least strap a bomb on him!" He shouted.

Skywarp kept humming in his kazoo.

Megatron fumed.

Starscream fumed.

Skywarp hummed louder.

"SHUT UP!" Starscream and Megatron shouted.

Skywarp went silent, except for a few hums from his Kazoo.

"Where in the world did- never mind…" Megatron pouted.

They both silently crept away from Autobot base.

A lone hum of a kazoo to "99 Red Balloons" wafted slowly over the hills; in till it was violently extinguished will a well placed giant gun blast.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D

After a few good hours of cleaning, the base was in satisfactory condition.

Randy made all the other Autobots get up and clean.

They weren't too happy about it.

That is, in till Randy promised them a night on the town with all the hookers and booze they could want.

They changed their minds.

"What Randy say?" Slag said.

"Me Swoop don't know.." Swoop said.

"ME GRIMLOCK SAY RANDY SAID TO CLEAN!" Grimlock shouted.

"Snarl say how do that?" Snarl shot back.

"Me say we sneak out." Sludge suggested.

"ME GRIMLOCK SAY THAT FINE IDEA!" Grimlock roared.

The other Dinobots nodded in agreement.

Slowly, they inched their way across the room and tried to get out by a window.

Slag tried to get through first, but was too large to fit through the window.

Heaving and grunting, the four other Dinobots pushed with all their might, and ended up taking out the whole wall.

CRASH!

Randy was upon them.

"WHAT A MESS!" He shouted and handed Grimlock a broom.

Grimlock stared at the broom with a puzzled look, and promptly ate it.

"ME GRIMLOCK SAY NEED MORE KETCHUP!" He shouted.

Randy sighed.

"You were suppose to SWEEP the floor, not eat the broom! It has germs!!" Randy exclaimed.

Grimlock looked even more confused as the other Dinobots stood around and whispered to each other.

Randy sighed.

Perceptor danced into the room wearing a top hat and a waving a cane.

"HELLO MAH BABY, HELLO MAH HONEY, HELLO MY RAGTIME GAL..." he screeched.

He jumped up on a table and swung his cane about, hitting a few Autobots in the head.

Randy ducked a wild swing.

Cleaning supplies flew everywhere.

Kup ran into the room.

"WHAT THE BLOOMIN' HELL IS GOING ON!" He shouted over the noise.

"SEND ME A KISS BY WIRE; BABY MY HEART'S ON FIRE!!!" Perceptor sang.

Optimus woke up from where he passed out on the floor earlier.

He wearily looked up to see that Kup was hurling Windex bottles at the psychotic Perceptor.

He passed out again.

"IF YOU REFUSE ME, HONEY YOU'LL LOSE ME, THEN YOU'LL BE ALL ALONE…" Perceptor shouted over the chaos.

The table he was dancing on shattered, sending wood chips flying at Grimlock.

Perceptor jumped up and danced around with his cane.

"OH BABY, TELEPHONE, AND TELL ME I'M YOUR OOOWWNNNNNNNN!!!"

Grimlock turned around.

"GRIMLOCK HAVE SPLINTER!!!" He screeched.

Grimlock picked up another table and threw it at the tap dancing robot.

CRASH!!

The table sent Perceptor flying through the opposite wall.

Randy stood there silently as a full out scale battle erupted over the room.

Grimlock picked up a wiggling Mirage and ate him.

Jazz ran around the room, screaming about giant death lasers.

Powerglide and Ironhide had a spirited battle of thumb war.

"Hey, hey guys?" Randy said quietly.

Ratchet screamed as Sideswipe beat him over the head with a tire iron.

Blaster clutched a potato protectively to his chest and fired upon and Autobot unlucky enough to get close to his "child".

Trailbreaker moon walked back and forth between the room, crushing with his foot Wheelie and ending his reign of terror forever.

It did leave a large stain on the floor.

"Guys?" Randy asked.

The noise only increased as Blurr and Wheeljack tried to out-talk each other.

Sunstreaker ran to Sideswipe and helped him beat up poor Ratchet even more.

Cliffjumper ran around the room with his head on body on fire.

He ran into random Autobots as he ran, catching them on fire too.

Randy fumed.

"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN BEFORE I BEAT YOU ALL SENSELESS!!!!" Randy shouted.

The Autobots stared, wide eyed.

Randy coughed and smiled pleasantly.

"That's better." He smiled.

The others looked at each other funny.

Randy continued.

"I'm going away, I had enough of this funny place."

Randy slung a handkerchief tied to a stick over his shoulders and stepped out of the large hole in the wall and out into the sunshine.

He waved pleasantly and walked away slowly into the sunset.

The Autobots looked at each other.

Then the room erupted into violent gunfire as Optimus Prime lay passed out on the floor.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D

Megatron jumped as Randy opened the door and marched in.

Megatron glared at him and crossed his arms.

"Well, was the mission a success?" He demanded.

Randy smiled.

"Yup, I can say the mission was a success, they were pretty screwed up before I even arrived." He spoke.

Megatron laughed.

Starscream pouted.

Randy giggled.

A can of spam rolled by.

But no one really cared.

NEXT WEEK ON RTSHD!

It's Christmas time at the base. Can Randy show Megatron the spirit of Christmas? Find out next week on RTSHD!!

R&R, I know you want to.